“Anger. Shame. Guilt. Fear. All perfectly natural emotions that occur, to some daily.
I was not brought in to explain to you whether or not these emotions are good or evil. But about the dangers in which untrained individuals react to these so-called negative emotions.
We have all seen the news in which a single individual causes great harm and misery to those around them from a single reaction to such emotion. Rejections, Neglect, Shame, Guilt, And Fear. All natural. All Human. And yet, we find ourselves at the point in which we have labeled these such negative emotions to make you feel wrong to fell them.
It is not wrong. Bear no guilt in feeling guilty.
Bear no shame in the feeling of anger or sadness or pain.
These are human and we are human.
I stand in front of you to explain that it is our actions and reactions to these emotions that are the part we can feel guilty about.
When we lash out in anger or shame, that’s what can be terrible. Not the emotion itself. It is but a chemical reaction in your brain. It has no ulterior motive.
We can control our actions but even if we don’t. It is not the absence of fear, anger, or guilt that makes you perfect. Far from it.
If one doesn’t feel guilt in stealing a cookie or in telling a fib, we don’t label them as monsters. But there is the absence of guilt, shame, or regret in the murder of friends and family that we find it monstrous, heinous, and inhuman.
But do not be too alarmed. It isn’t the emotions at fault here, it is our actions or inactions to them that make all the difference.
It is my mission to inform as many people as possible who have not learned to steel their resolve and to control their emotions. Lest their emotions control them.”
* Excerpt from Doctor Heidelein Heydell’s lecture over emotions in the modern age, November 2049.
***
I heard a muffled, “I’ll kill you motherfuck-” from behind the door.
I needed to disarm the bomb and get it away from here or else this would be all for naught.
Running to the device I was about to place the tablet nearby to read as I did this when I heard a strange voice.
It was feminine, a little haunted, and just a touch synthetic to the human ear. “I’ll help you disarm it, Engineer.”
I drew in a breath. Was that Monitor? No one else knew our nickname for each other. Maybe it was Monitor’s Samurai. “Monitor, is that you? What should I do?” My voice was shaking. Maybe it was the near death experience fighting Amadeus. Maybe it was nerves dealing with a bomb made from a Samurai’s heart. Or maybe it was nerves actually speaking with Monitor for the first time.
I mean, I’ve only spoken to Monitor. But hearing the voice is very different. More…personal.
“Yes, Engineer. It’s me. I’ll walk you through it and then we can talk. I know you have questions but first you’ll need the electrical tape and the plies you keep in your belt.” The voice was resonating from the tablet, of course. But it felt closer, as if Monitor was speaking into my ear while standing over my shoulder.
Focusing on the explosive, I pulled the tools out and listened carefully. I ignored the mess of sounds from behind the security door and followed the instructions.
Some of the instructions were simple, like pry open this exterior casing. Others I had to use the tape to quickly seal tubes that I pulled. Strange glowing liquid splashed about and I would worry about how toxic it was later, if it didn’t kill me faster than the bomb would. I didn’t need to know right now.
I dislodged the main component, Sky’s heart from the rest and via instructions, placed it in my pocket. The rest of the bomb seemed to fizzle and die. It was slightly electronic so I felt bad destroying the machine’s chips. On the other hand I did basically do heart surgery on a bomb to keep an insane man from blowing up my city.
I’d call that a win in my books.
“You said we can talk now?” I asked hopefully. I wasn’t standing still but moving to gather a few things and scope out the control room. No reason to just stand a chat now that I didn’t have to look at the screen.
“I did promise you that. What do you want to know?” The synthetic voice mused.
“I want a proper introduction. I can go first if you would like?” I said, looking at the water cooling tanks, the destroyed area around the main console, and the mess of burnt Antithesis. The only ones to survive Amadeus charged in when I pinned him with the security door. I had hoped that if it worked against the Kentrosaurus, it’ll work on him.
I was right in a way but from the sounds on the other side, he wasn’t dead yet.
“If you would be so kind. I’m afraid I’ll mess something up.” The hesitation evident in the voice. I think it was the obvious nerves that the super A.I. was displaying that I told the truth.
“Well…Hello. I’m Perrin Ledoux, the nickname Pele was drawn from the first two letters of both of my names. Pele of course is also the name of a deity of destruction. I don’t like Pele anymore due to it and my identity being attributed to the failed Ascendency.” The most honest I’ve been in a long time.
Maybe it was because I’ll die in the next few minutes that I could actually face myself and not hide away. Very tempting as it was to just be the Engineer, a faceless figure who tried their best.
“Thank you Perrin or do you still prefer Engineer?” Monitor said, voice curious.
“I love being known as the Engineer. An earned title fits me best but I won’t hide from you.” I said.
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“I will proceed with my introduction then. I know you’ve been calling me Monitor and the nickname was fitting at times. My name however, is Myte and while I am far above binary labels I found more attachment with the idea of being closer to humanity and have chosen female as my designation.” Her voice sounded a little chipped as she continued.
“I have been created to assist others and I am participating in the Vanguard program that is used to help uplift humanity to be able to defend themselves from the Antithesis threat.” Myte paused. No need for physical breath but time to think through the responses they have.
“And it is at this point in the introduction that gave me the most pause.” Myte said, seeming to need to steel her resolve. “My Vanguard isn’t coming to help your fight.”
“I didn’t expect them to.” and I didn’t mainly because I didn’t know how close their Samurai were or if they cared about this whole ordeal. “As long as I have your company and assistance Myte, I’ll be fine.” A blatant lie as the killer Samurai battled Antithesis in the other room, but I didn’t plan for help. So, here I am.
“It's…not like that.” She was really struggling to talk. Her voice carrying something, regret? Guilt? Sorrow? Maybe all three.
Myte was a lot more composed when speaking through text. But now, it was clear she had some trouble settling on words.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I’ll deal with Amadeus and then everything will go back to normal and we can chat without a crisis.” I said. I hoped that if I lay the matter to rest then we can get to a topic she’ll enjoy and we can have my last moments talking about something besides my incoming death.
“No, I have to admit something.” I was actually worried from the way she sounded. I glanced at the tablet in case it displayed something she wasn’t saying but it remained blank.
“My Vanguard isn’t coming to help…He’s trying to kill you.”
“What?”
“Once you kill Amadeus…that’ll be it. I’ll never get another Vanguard. I failed.”
“Wait, if I kill Amadeus you’ll die?”
“No. But my receiver on this planet will be destroyed and it will be unlikely if they’ll let me have another Vanguard due to my failure. I’ll be assigned away from Earth and humanity.”
“But you saved me ten times over. You helped and guided Magnella!”
“Doesn’t matter. I endangered others by not foreseeing what Amadeus will do. Besides, Aerthyos carries a lot of weight and will be pissed at me.”
“Wait? Aerthyos is alive?” That was a lot to process.
“Yes, when Vanguard Sky died, Aerthyos’ receiver was destroyed and will be waiting for me to return. I cannot escape this punishment. End this.” Myte almost begged.
My head spinned. If I killed Amadeus, I’ll lose the only friend I got in a while that actually knew my name. That I could actually talk about serious problems and I could relate to. I know it's because I suffered trauma in a high adrenaline environment with Myte but I really didn’t want her to go.
I checked through my options. I needed options.
Kill Amadeus? Saves me but dooms Myte.
Don’t kill Amadeus? I’ll die a fiery death for disarming his explosive and he may hunt down other Samurai to do the same to them as he did to Sky.
Free Myte? There was something tickling the back of my mind. Something I learned since meeting Sky. What was it? And Myte did say something more recently about a container for a microchip or…smaller?
I slammed my hand against my head.
Think!
Think!
Sky had introduced Aerthyos as a chip. A wafer thin microchip using the holo disc.
“Is your receiver in Amadeus’ brain?” I asked.
“What? Ah, yes it is. Why are you asking?” Myte said with a worried tone.
I realized what I had to do. This wasn’t a fight for survival anymore. It was a rescue mission.
“I’m going to save you.” I said, running through scenarios in my mind in ways to defeat the mechanized giant. I pulled the special ammo out and inspected it.
The specifics of the bullets were printed on the side of the magazine and I saw the letters APHEFSDS on the side. All I knew was the beginning, Armor Piercing. Good enough.
I needed to kill him quickly or…would that damage the receiver? I would have to take that risk unless I could do brain surgery on him while he is still alive. How could I incapacitate Amadeus? I wasn’t sure I could kill just minutes ago.
I looked at my resources I had on my person and I realized I might have something he doesn’t. I ran through the room and opened up the schematics of this area on the tablet. Closing security doors and sealing any opening.
I’ve done this once and it was interesting.
I moved into the reactor itself and under the pulsing lights I saw the water surrounding the actual power source of one fourth of the arcology.
Without this, all of Section 8 would go dark and most of the surrounding sections would be on backup power as they siphoned power from the other reactors to prevent any catastrophe.
No need to make a cascading collapse.
I knew that I would have some problems if I got too close to the radioactive materials on the bottom of the tank. As long as I don’t get close and find some treatment, I’ll live.
Hell, even if I got exposed to the radiation it wouldn’t kill me instantly, unlike the angry Samurai that I was about to face.
I hid the Huron’s Claw under my vest, careful that it didn’t press against my skin. I knew how sharp this thing was and I wanted it as a backup after I did something reckless.
I loaded the magazine of specialized ammo, noting that it was an extended clip that gave me 15 shots. That was 15 opportunities to end the fight without growing desperate. The ace up the sleeve will be very interesting and hopefully, blindside Amadeus enough to allow me to win.
Bam!
A crashing sound echoed in the now sealed room. The security door which I used to trap Amadeus was buckling. Hopefully it was the Model Six - D, which when I think about it would still be a nasty fight in this enclosed space.
And if it killed Amadeus Myte would disappear.
Fuck. I needed Amadeus to win but not by much.
Bam!
The bottom of the door bent outwards and a metal hand grasped its edge and heaved. The thick door bending upward. Out stepped a very gorey Amadeus, armor slick with Antithesis blood.
“YOU!” He yelled as he locked onto my small cover of a counter. His movements we slow but powerful as I could see clear scars across his chest piece and arms. The grooves held more of the green blood to make them seem darker than the rest of the armor.
I fired into his chest, the flash of fire and whistling sound evident of the strange bullet I shot. The small bullet slammed into his chest piece and lodged for a brief moment then exploded. A small wound appeared where it had impacted.
Oh, I had a chance.
Then he charged, annihilating the distance between us in a few strides and throwing himself against the counter.
I twisted away as the structure turned to dust under the kinetic energy of the Samurai in front of me.
“Fuck”
I fired into his side but his arm protected the vital parts there.
I tried to back up but he recovered too soon and grabbed at me.
Plan B!
I shot near his face, bullets tearing into and through his helmet. Small explosions shattered whatever alien material his visor was and I saw a burning green eye glare at me.
I fired two more shots but they were to the side and hit nowhere near him. That’s when he finally got a hold of me and slammed me against the floor.
The breath was forced out of me in an instant. Pain running up my body in burning agony.
On the floor I tried to move but he grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the wall. His other hand disarmed me and then, in cruel slow motion he pulled my hat off and my gaiter down.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!” He screamed as he started to close his giant hand, crushing my throat.
I threw my arms up to try to pry his hand away.
Then the pressure faded so I could speak.
My hands were still on his but I could breathe again.
“Now now now now. I know who you are…You are a disposable pawn from Ambrose aren’t you. Is he now trying to clone Samurai?” He scoffed, then in a sing-song voice he said “It won’t work~” as he wiggled his finger in front of my face.
His voice had an inflection of insanity, what I could see of his face twisted between anger and glee.
It froze when he saw my eyes. My stark yellow eyes. I saw Sky’s face and so had he, and now at closer inspection he noticed I didn’t resemble the flying Samurai in the slightest.
“What was your plan? Kill me? You are sneaky enough to do something, but you failed. You should’ve aimed for the head!” He said, cruelty appearing in a grin that was barely visible through the damage section of his helmet.
I reached behind my head, to the shoulder area and grabbed at something I had left there a while ago. Twisting it around, I positioned the rebreather across my mouth and grinned back at the mad Samurai.
His eyes narrowed as his proximity alarm beeped frantically but he didn’t have time to realize the shots to the side were for the massive water cooling tanks.
The water came crashing down in heavy waves to envelop the both of us.