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The Loyalty Gene
Chapter Four

Chapter Four

> In the News Today: The Mennonite World Conference sponsored a worldwide silent prayer to protest genetically enhanced children.

Jason’s mom asked, “Why were you rolling around in the grass last night?”

Surprised, Jason glanced up from his bowl of cereal and caught Mom and Dad sharing odd grins. Best to play dumb. “Mmm? What?”

“While you were in the shower, I started a load of your laundry. The clothes from yesterday were covered with grass stains. If Stephanie looked the same, she might have some explaining to do.”

Dad chuckled and sipped coffee.

Jason had to say something. Maybe he could throw in a diversion? “I teased her, and she chased me. We wrestled a little. She’s a lot stronger than she looks.”

“I trust you behaved yourself?” Dad asked.

In Dad’s world, misbehaving covered a lot of ground. Doing so with a girl narrowed it down to just one possibility. Mom and Dad both waited, and their intense regard made him wary. “Do we really have to talk about this?” Jason pleaded.

“Shirley?” Dad asked, with one raised eyebrow.

“Later should be fine,” Mom replied with another glance at Dad.

Jason exhaled. Sometimes his parents drove him crazy.

Mom tapped a finger on the table. “There is something else we need to talk about. Have you sent the invitations for your birthday party?”

Crap! He’d forgotten. “Not yet.”

“I think,” Dad said, “you should skip today’s visit with Stephanie. At least until you get those emails finished.”

“What if I only want to invite Stephanie?”

Mom and Dad exchanged a glance, another silent communication. Mom turned back to Jason and said, “Wouldn’t ‘Nerd Boy, the untouchable’ want his friends to meet Stephanie?”

Jason swallowed. They knew about his nickname!

Following up, Dad said, “That one boy, what’s his name? Corey Peterson?” Mom nodded to Dad. “He’s the bully who started that ‘Nerd Boy’ nonsense. Make sure you invite him.”

Later that morning, Jason sat at his desk, exchanging texts with Stephanie, and writing invitations. A knock on his door frame took him by surprise.

Mom said, “Your father wants to talk with you—in his office.”

With the words, “in his office,” Jason's stomach clenched. No one entered Dad’s home office without an invitation. Only official and often unpleasant conversations took place in there. Given the timing, it had to be about Stephanie. He tapped out a quick message, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Unease built as he trudged downstairs.

Dad sat behind his desk. He glanced up and smiled. “Close the door and have a seat. I’ll be right with you.” While Dad busied himself, Jason studied the framed pictures hanging on the wall. There always seemed to be one or two new family snapshots. Finally, Dad finished. “When I acquired my first girlfriend, your grandfather talked to me, just like I'm doing with you.”

Jason nodded.

“There are two rules you never break. The first is always treat your girlfriends with respect. Never push for something they’re unwilling to give. My law firm defends a lot of creeps who don’t understand the word, ‘No.’ Second, don’t surprise your mother and me with a grandchild. I expect you to be smart.”

“Dad! We’re not…I mean, we haven’t. Look, it doesn’t matter anyway ’cause she’s not that kind of girl.”

His father’s lips curled up in what might have been a smile, but instead, they formed into the same pinched expression he used whenever Mom said something unwittingly funny. Dad didn’t dare laugh at Mom. Jason’s face warmed when he realized what his father’s hidden amusement implied. How dare Dad think something like that about Steph—

His father must have sensed the impending explosion because he reached into a drawer and tossed a sealed package across the desk. Jason’s eyes focused on the box…of condoms. Oh, he’d seen them in stores, and health class covered their use. Like every other boy in the class, he snickered when the coach rolled one over a banana.

Dad pointed at the box. “Those are for you. Not because I think anything negative about Stephanie. No, they are for you because I know how clever you are. Even if you don’t want to have sex today, you will soon enough. When you do, no matter what, put one on.”

His face still warm, although now from embarrassment, Jason gulped and picked up the box. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now don’t think your mother and I are giving you the green light to spread pollen. Those condoms are more of an insurance policy. We'd prefer you to wait until you’re older.”

“How much older?”

“The age of majority in Pennsylvania is still eighteen.”

A sudden thought made Jason grin. “Did Grandpa buy these for you too?”

The question made his father laugh. “Yep, even the same brand.” Dad rubbed his chin, then shrugged. Leaning forward, he spoke in a hushed voice. “Let me tell you a story about your grandfather. Way before he found his first girlfriend, he bought his own condoms, via the old postal service. The best part is he purchased a ‘He-Man Condom Sampler’ and ended up with a huge box full of condoms. One hundred and forty-four in total. It scandalized your great-grandmother.”

***

“I don’t know, sweetie. Going to a party seems risky.” Natalie blew across her steaming cup of tea.

Since meeting Jason and his outgoing mother, Stephanie realized how much her mother misunderstood normal human behavior. “It’s only a few of Jason’s friends.”

“A few more boys, you mean, and boys are just men with even less self-control.”

“It’s a birthday party, not an orgy.” As soon as the words left Stephanie’s mouth, regret set in. Mom had valid reasons for her beliefs.

But Mom laughed and waved at Stephanie's outfit. “Even though you're dressed for one?”

A week earlier, Mrs. Thomas took Stephanie aside. She’d once dated a musician with music tastes like Jason’s, and she’d kept a favorite outfit from those days. Perhaps Stephanie might try it on?

The outfit, a leather miniskirt and cotton T-shirt, fit quite well. Mom snickered when she found Stephanie trying it on, then returned with a pair of fishnet stockings. “If you’re going to dress like a trollop, you’ll need these.”

“So,” Mom continued their conversation. “How many boys will be there?”

“Just two of Jason’s friends.”

“Three boys, then? And you dressed like a party girl? It won’t be good if Jason starts showing you off. It made me extremely uncomfortable every time Pavlo did it.”

“But Jason isn't showing me off.”

All Mom had to do was raise an eyebrow.

“Well, maybe a little.”

Mom’s expression didn’t change.

“Well, so what if he wants to show me off? He says I’m the prettiest girl in the world. His friends aren’t going to do anything.”

“Let’s hope not. How’s your bond coming along?”

Her bond to Jason was the entire reason for their relationship. Although, in addition to Mom’s original idea, she’d also developed a human-like affection for him.

Mom didn’t believe it, but she didn’t believe pair bonding was real. Convincing her otherwise wouldn’t be easy. “I don’t know. It’s difficult to describe. I miss him when he’s not around, and I’m crazy happy when we're together.”

With one eyebrow raised, Mom pressed for more. “And what else?”

She knew exactly what Mom meant. “All right!” Stephanie lifted her hands in mock surrender. “Sure, there’s some, like when we’re kissing, but it’s not just about sex. I like him for him, not just for his genitals.”

“Harrumph,” Mom tossed back her tea. “You make it sound like a Hollywood romance movie. As for me, I only care about Yevgeny’s genitals. He’s lucky I cannot remove them for my use.”

Before Mom changed the subject, Stephanie quipped. “We could call a taxidermist.”

It wasn’t hard to surprise her mother, but Stephanie set a record with her suggestion. Mom’s eyes went wide, then a corner of her mouth quirked up, and she chuckled like an over-the-top movie villain. With a flourish, Mom lifted an imaginary phone handset to her head. “Please, Mr. Taxidermist, mount this penis for me so I may mount it later.” Her grin matched the chuckle.

“It’s beyond icky, Mom, but would it work?”

“I don’t know, our addiction is complicated.” Mom pushed her seat back from the table. “I asked about your bond to Jason because it may cause a problem.”

Tilting her head, Stephanie said, “How?”

“Ah,” Mom said. “You forgot your loyalty gene. What if one of those other boys gets fresh.”

“They’re his friends, they aren’t going to…” Stephanie's words trailed off. What if Mom was right? “What should I do?”

“Wear your sneakers. Kicking someone while wearing high heels is a bad idea.”

Mrs. Thomas met Stephanie at the back door. “Don’t you look cute! Turn around now. Let me see how everything fits.”

Tugging the skirt down, Stephanie obliged.

“Hmm,” Mrs. Thomas mused, “Oh, I love the black sneakers and fishnets, but my old shirt must have shrunk, I don’t remember it fitting so tight.”

Stephanie reached for the door. “Should I change?”

Laughing, Mrs. Thomas pulled Stephanie towards the counter. “Heavens, no, you’re fine.”

“As long as you’re sure,” Stephanie said and tugged her skirt down again.

“Nervous, dear?”

“A bit.”

“Of course, you are. No offense, but I wonder why your parents homeschooled you without any socialization. Look, Jason cares about you. You know that, don’t you?”

Stephanie’s stomach fluttered. No matter what Mom thought, her and Jason’s feelings were real. “I care about him too.”

“I know you do. Both of you have smitten written all over. Jason’s a good boy and won’t allow anything bad to happen. If you feel outnumbered, you can hang out with me.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Thomas.”

“Don’t worry, if the boys get too rowdy, I’ll send Robert down. He’ll glower them into submission.”

“Thank you, Mrs.—”

“Stephanie, if you want to thank me, just keep on being yourself. Now, before you jump into the mosh pit, there is one boy you’ll want to keep an eye on. His name is Corey, and he’s always been jealous of Jason. Has Jason mentioned his nickname? No, well, you'll want to hear this …”

***

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In honor of their reunion, each teen wore a T-shirt proclaiming their allegiance to thrash metal. Of all the music forms from the previous century, thrash metal never died out. True, it had far fewer fans than the current mumble-metal craze. Every few years, promoters organized another “Clash of the Titans” tour. Holographic representations of Slayer and Megadeath headlined the show. Cover bands for Testament, Anthrax, and other legends of thrash filled out the lineup. Inveterate thrash purists kept Metallica out of the lineups.

Seth wore his most prized possession, a battered 1993 vintage Megadeath, Countdown to Extinction T-shirt. Corey wore a brand-new T-shirt with the coiled snake from Metallica’s Black album. True to his metal soul, Jason wore his most precious Slayer T-shirt.

The three boys had only been alone for a few minutes before Corey badgered Jason. “What’s this bull Seth’s spewing about you having a girlfriend?”

Jason glanced at Seth, who shook his head slightly. They both knew how Corey behaved.

Seth said, “Give the man a break, Corey. It’s his birthday.”

“Break, hell. I say if Nerd Boy has a girlfriend, she’s either ugly, a heifer, or both. Sorry, Nerd Boy, but happy birthday anyway.”

“Ah, thanks? You guys want some lemonade? Mom made it this morning.”

“Sure,” said Seth, “Your mom makes the best.”

Corey cringed. “Lemonade? Jeez, guys, can this party suck any harder? Nerd Boy, where’s your dad stash the booze?”

“It’s upstairs in the kitchen cabinet closest to the dining room. Help yourself, but don’t get caught. Dad will flip out.”

Seth walked over to the wall terminal. “Guys, I made a cool playlist. It starts with White Zombie.” He thumbed a chip into the slot.

***

Did testosterone have a scent? Stephanie’s nostrils twitched as she walked down the steps. One hand on the handrail, the other held a tray of chips and drinks. That undefined scent mingled with the perspiration from active young men. The combination tickled her nose and sent waves of tingles to places she’d rather they not go.

The music, a sensual groove of drums and guitars, made her want to dance. Although the lyrics didn’t make sense. What the heck was an Astro-Creep?

Jason whirled into view, his arms windmilling. He noticed her and tried to stop, but momentum pushed him against a taller, thinner boy. The thin boy gawked at her before catching a third boy’s forearm against his temple. Like dominos, Jason, thin-boy, and the forearm swinger, tumbled together into a sweating, writhing heap. The stereo speakers boomed a repeated chorus, “More human than human.” Stephanie didn’t know if she should dance, laugh, or administer first aid. Fortunately, the always alert Alfred muted the song to a reasonable level.

After setting the tray down, she turned to the pileup. Mindful of her skirt, Stephanie bent and pulled Jason to his feet.

“Thanks, babe,” he said and pulled her against him.

Babe? That’s new—his lips pressed against hers, and all those tingles struck home.

Some undetermined time later, the stereo switched to another metal track, the bass drum a steady, thump, thump, thump. A singer, different from the last, crooned about a boy and a girl who were “made for loving” each other.

She and Jason swayed together, not quite dancing, but something more primal. His arms crushed her against him, and his jeans, the ones she liked so much, chafed her thighs. Someone coughed, and Stephanie blinked her eyes open. Jason’s warm brown eyes looked back, holding promises for later. Across the room, forearm-swinger and thin-boy snickered.

Smiling, Jason waited while Stephanie unwrapped her right leg from behind his left. Knowing Jason’s friends had watched the whole thing made her really uncomfortable. Thanks, Mom, for the timely yet obscure warning.

Jason cocked his head and squeezed her hand once. She nodded and squeezed back. Together, they turned to face his friends.

“All right, which of you jokers decided to play Kiss?” Jason said. The hint of amusement in his voice belied his gruff tone. Neither boy spoke, but the thin boy wore the biggest grin. Stephanie decided she liked the song. Maybe she and Jason were made for each other?

“Stephanie, the guilty looking goober is Seth. We’ve known each other for a long time. I call his mom, ‘Mom.’”

“Hi, Seth,” she said to thin-boy.

“Stephanie,” Seth gave her a warm smile. His eyes flicked up to hers and stayed there. She awarded Seth a point. He continued. “You don’t know how glad I am to meet you.”

Turning to forearm-swinger, Jason said, “This is Corey.”

So, this is the boy who started that awful nickname. Not bad looking, but something caught her eye. Eek, it can’t be comfortable for a guy to wear pants so tight. Corey’s eyes never shifted away from her boobs. “Hi, Corey,” Stephanie said. Besides his prolonged staring at her boobs, she deducted a second point because he wore those pants.

“Hello,” he replied, finally glancing up. “Are you going to mosh with us?”

“Is that what you were doing when I came down? Can I watch instead?” Stephanie tugged her skirt down. “I’m not dressed for jumping around.”

“Believe me,” Seth said, “we noticed.”

Stephanie tugged her skirt down again. The motion drew all the boys’ eyes. She sighed; Mom had tried to warn her.

The boys played a complicated three-way game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, and Corey won. He selected Metallica’s Fade to Black. The song started off with a simple guitar progression that built to a majestic culmination of sound. It was beautiful, but the lyrics told a sad story. She’d never heard anything like it.

Seth went next, and he selected Megadeath’s Hanger 18. Unlike Fade to Black, this song started fast and featured a gravelly-voiced singer. It told a confusing tale about cryogenics and computers inside an aircraft hangar. However weak the lyrics, the guitar players seemed very skilled.

Then came Jason’s turn. He chose something called Angel of Death by Slayer. The same band whose name was on the shirts she and Jason wore. She’d thought the name might be an abstraction. Perhaps intended to remind listeners of their inherent humanity. Nope. The song started with a blood-curdling scream and was all about death and genocide. It was horrible. She lasted less than thirty seconds before fleeing upstairs and away from the terrible, terrible song.

Of course, Jason followed. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Stephanie gave him her best smile while suppressing a shudder. “I’m just gonna hang out with your Mom for a bit.” She pushed him towards the stairs. “Go have fun.”

Once in the kitchen, Shirley handed her a tall glass of lemonade. “Dreadful, isn’t it?”

“Why?” Stephanie wanted to question everything about that awful song but didn’t know where to begin.

“Boys and their rebelliousness. Our,” Mrs. Thomas caught Stephanie’s eye before continuing, “Jason needed to rebel more than most. If it helps, I think you’ve already fixed him. His musical tastes will catch up.”

The lemonade caught up to her. Instead of using the powder room off the foyer, Stephanie ran upstairs to Jason’s bathroom. It was a little out of the way, but the boys weren’t using it. After washing her hands, she took a quick peak inside Jason’s bedroom. Dirty clothes lay scattered about. It took less than a minute to pick them up. While straightening his bed, footsteps scuffed on the hall carpet. The steps didn’t have Mr. Thomas’s booming stride, nor did they have Mrs. Thomas’s quiet, purposeful steps. Maybe Jason wanted to sneak up on her? Not that she’d mind. Nope, she’d welcome a boyfriend ambush.

Instead of Jason, Corey appeared in the doorway. His smile said he’d hoped to find her. “Hey,” he said, his eye’s flicking across her chest and legs. Another facet of Mom’s warning became clear, being alone with a boy, other than Jason, made her extremely uncomfortable. She didn’t need to run away, but Corey gave her the weirdest vibes.

“If you’re looking for the bathroom, it’s across the hall.” Not that she thought he wanted the bathroom, no, he’d come looking for her.

“In a minute,” he said, then took a step into Jason’s room. Corey’s head swiveled until it locked on Jason’s bed. “Is this where you guys do it?”

Stephanie froze. She recovered fast and, ignoring the weird vibes, locked eyes with Corey. “That isn’t any of your business.”

Smirking, Corey said, “We share all the dirty details.” His eyes studied her “heavy metal” hairdo. “I’m dying to hear yours.”

Crossing her arms, she said, “I don’t believe you. Jason wouldn’t.”

Instead of contradicting her, Corey stepped over to the comm display. As usual, it displayed a high resolution “selfie” of the old Mars rover, Opportunity. She never understood why Jason admired the photo so much.

Corey said, “How can you like a little nerd like Jason?” He didn’t turn to watch her until he finished his question.

Oh, she didn’t like Corey one bit. She wouldn’t feel guilty if he tried something, and her reflexes kicked him into next week. Time to go on the offensive. “You mean Nerd Boy the Untouchable?” Just as she’d expected, Corey’s mouth fell open when she repeated that disgusting nickname. “Lucky for me, Nerd Boy turned out to be very touchable.” She smiled while gauging the distance between them. Just in case her reflexes needed the room. “I touch him every chance I get. Too bad for you; he’s all mine now.”

“What?” Corey asked. Surprise and concern writ plain on his face.

“You had your chance. He’s with me now.”

“What are you talking about?”

She’d had enough of this conversation. A lean to the left, then when Corey matched her, she moved to the right, flowing past the too-slow boy. On her way downstairs, she worried what to tell Jason about her conversation with his friend.

Ten minutes passed before Corey returned to the family room. She and Jason shared the recliner. Which, in this skirt, took some careful arrangement. Jason cheered her on while she demolished Seth in the racing game.

***

For supper, Dad fired up the grill and cooked to order. That is if you ordered a hot dog or a hamburger. Seth asked for a steak and got a hamburger. Mom dished out her homemade potato salad. Last night, she and Stephanie teamed up to bake his birthday cake, frozen banana with dark chocolate buttercream icing. When they lit the candles, everyone sang happy birthday, although Stephanie pretended, she didn’t know the words.

After the cake, Stephanie told Jason she’d go home early and give him more time with his friends. He walked her to the gate, and they kissed goodnight. Then feeling guilty because he’d rather stay with her, he hurried back to his friends.

“Dude,” Seth high fived Jason, “you won.”

“What did I win?” He pulled out a chair and sat.

“Everything. Every contest in history. Stephanie is a keeper.” Seth glanced over at Corey. Usually outspoken to the point of rudeness, Corey had remained quiet for the last few hours. “What do you think, dude?”

“Holy shit,” mused Corey. Mom and Dad were inside cleaning up the kitchen, so it looked like he’d gotten away with swearing. “Seriously, Jason, I…I apologize. Stephanie is awesome. At first, I didn’t believe it, then I had to believe it. The hottest redhead I’ve ever met is into Nerd Boy, the—no longer—untouchable. All that’s left is for you to spill the dirty details.”

“What?” Jason, who’d basked in the unexpected praise, sat up straight.

“Pictures, man. Where are they? A chick that hot had to have sent you an f-ton of nudes. Break ’em out so we can drool over them. I already hate you, let me despise you.”

Seth shook his head at Corey’s request. “That ain’t cool, man.”

Jason waved it off. “It’s not a problem. Even if I had pictures, I wouldn’t show them to anyone. There ain’t no way I’d do anything to betray her trust.”

“Wait,” Corey regained his snarky smirk, “I get it now—you ain’t banging her. Nerd Boy ain’t getting any of that. Have you even gotten past first base?” He didn’t wait for an answer and turned to Seth. “Can you believe it, Nerd Boy ain’t tapping that ass.”

He’d had it. Jason stood. “I’ve heard enough, Corey, it’s time for you to go.” Turning to Seth, he added, “It’s been great seeing you again. Give your mom my love.”

“Will do.” Seth turned to Corey, who hadn’t budged. “C’mon, man, let’s go.”

But Corey continued. “Listen to me, I can see she’s into you. All you got to do is ask, and she’ll…GAH!!”

While Corey spoke, Jason tipped the chair over, spilling his “friend” onto the wood deck. He hit hard, although not as hard as Jason wanted. “Get out,” Jason said, his voice cold. They’d fought more than once over the years, usually with Corey getting the better of it. Not tonight, though, Jason had never felt so certain.

Corey jumped to his feet and threw a jab. Ready for it, Jason sidestepped and swung a left cross into Corey’s ribs. He followed it up with a stunning right uppercut that rocked Corey back onto his ass. Seth jumped in between the two former friends.

“Guys,” Seth hissed, watching the back door. “You’re gonna have parents out here any second.” Turning to Corey, Seth bent and helped him stand. “Time to go, asshole.”

Corey grunted and spat a mouthful of blood onto the deck. “Fuck both of you,” he growled and stumbled towards the stairs.

Seth shook Jason’s hand. “Man, I’m sorry. I’ll get him home. Take care of Stephanie. She’s worth whatever it takes.”

Caught in a mixture of rage and shame for losing his temper, Jason followed Seth and Corey to the driveway. He waited until Seth drove away then returned to find his father using the hose to the deck. Dad’s eyes followed Jason, and the grim set of his jaw spoke volumes.

“Uh, Dad, uh, I…I’ll do that. It was my fault.”

Dad chased the last of the blood from the decking and turned to Jason. “Your mother and I witnessed the whole thing. You made me proud.”

“I did?”

“You did. Bullies have no place in a civilized society. Oh, they exist, and sometimes men like us will deal with them. Let me give you a quote.”

”People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”

Dad and his quotes. He read a lot of military science fiction and seemed to have a saying for every situation. “Thanks, Dad. I guess I better go and apologize to Mom.”

“I’ll handle your mother. You have someone just as important to speak with.” Dad gestured towards the house next door. Jason turned, Stephanie stood in the gateway, arms crossed as if hugging herself. “I think your girlfriend might have watched as well. If so, she may think she’s somehow at fault. Talk to her, but don’t let her do anything foolish.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

They met halfway across the yard. The sun was low on the horizon and cast long shadows. He didn’t like her closed posture and held out his hands. Stephanie took them, and he pulled her into his arms.

“I saw the whole thing, Jay.”

He loved hearing her use his nickname. “I’m sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s all my fault. You lost a friend because of me.”

“Nah, I didn’t lose anything of value.”

“If you want pictures, I can send you some tonight. The other thing…I can’t. I would, but…I just can’t.”

“Sweetheart, no. I don’t need pictures. As for the other thing, even if we waited until after we married, that’s fine with me.” He’d slipped and used the “M” word and could see it startled her.

“What? Marry? Who said anything…? No, we can’t…do that either.”

“Steph, sweetheart, I was just saying it’s fine if we wait that long. I wasn’t proposing.” Not yet, anyway.

“Oh…you scared me.”

“Yeah, I’m Mister Scary.”

Her right hand pulled free of his and thumped against his chest. Like all her thumps, it packed a good bit of oomph. Sometimes she’d notice his wince and offer to kiss the spot and make it better. Now, though, was not the time.

“Sweetheart, Seth and I are close. His mom treated us like we were her own. Corey was a latecomer. Other groups bounced him out, and he hooked up with us. Probably because we were less judgmental. Nothing was your fault. A friend doesn’t ask…what he asked about.”

She wrapped him up in a rib-cracking hug. “Are you sure?”

“I…can’t…breathe.” He joked, and she almost thumped him again. This time he caught her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Yes, I’m certain. Look, you’re way more important to me than Corey.

“Really?” she sniffled.

“Hey, none of that.” Turning his head, Jason noticed Dad had hung up the hose and gone inside. “The deck’s empty, wanna snuggle on the hammock and see how many weather forecasts we can rack up?”

She nodded, and Jason knew for certain, he’d won the prize of a lifetime.

Sometime after Alfred’s third or fourth weather report. Dad stuck his head outside. “If you two will behave, I’ll tell Alfred to put a sock in it.”

Later, after he kissed her goodnight for the final time of the evening, Jason caught her hand. “Steff, I don’t deserve you.” As it turned out, they had time for another goodnight kiss.

***

“All right, daughter, why are you crying? Did that…that boy do something to hurt you?”

“No, momma, nothing like that.” Sniffle.

“Then what?”

“He told me he doesn’t deserve me.” Sob, sniffle.

“Oh,” Mom shrugged, “well, that’s true enough. Wash your face and come watch the tri-d with me. Masterpiece Theater is rerunning a Nicholas Sparks special, and tonight’s The Notebook. I love how it ends.”