These sixty-five years of my life have passed just in the blink of an eye....Now at the last moment in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask and my husband beside me holding my hands makes me feel like .... Even though there were ups and downs everything was still worth it...
And now it's time for me to open the last letter....I somehow managed to sit...and took the letter from the box .... Its heading was...
" WHEN YOUR TIME COMES "
Dear, Aaruhi...
These two words still give me nostalgic vibes...Her first letter starts like this...
Maybe taking my name was like an assurance to her, assurance to me, assurance of always being together...
Now if I look back, I realize that she was always with me during every moment of my life ...maybe not physically but I can feel her everywhere ....
I still remember that day very clearly...
When I was 8 I came home from school and was rushed to hospital with my grandparents... The doctors already lost hope for saving my mom.
And they told us to be prepared to bid goodbye... My grandparents started crying... But I didn't understand a thing .... What does bidding goodbye mean... Even if we say goodbye to someone today doesn't that mean that we are meant to meet someday in the future ?? ... As an eight-year-old child it never crossed my mind that someone can be gone forever...I never thought that someone could go this far away and that there would be no chance to meet them in the future, the thing left behind would only be their memory...
My grandparents went to the hospital's ward in which my mother was and after some time they came and told me to visit her... When I went in ... I was startled ...I was startled by how fragile she looked now ...... Her eyes which used to be bright were now dull and covered with dark circles... Her face which used to be puffy was now pointy ..... The only thing which didn't change was her warm smile...
But still, it doesn't matter how she looks..she was, will and always be my beloved mother.... Who loves me the most....and whom I loved the most...
I went close to her and settled myself on a chair beside her bed... I held her hand and with a low voice, I called her...
"Maa"
She opened her eyes and held my hand more tightly...
Aaruhi, Mom is not going anywhere...
Don't be scared...
I saw a little bit of fear in her eyes.... Which I was not able to describe...
Was she in pain?
I know maa... Where can you go without me... I know, anywhere you go, you will take me along with you...
On this, my mother's face darkened a bit but still, maybe it was the fault of my age I was not able to understand anything.... For me when mom said that she would go... It means like a trip to me, a normal trip where we can go together and explore all the fun out there...
When I saw her expressionless face I asked, " Maa, did I say anything wrong "
She shook her head and said with a warm smile, No my child you are right.... We still have a lot of things to do .... There are still a lot of places to visit and a lot of food to eat. We still have a lot of time.
Go now prepare a list of where you want to visit, and whatever you want to eat...maa will make you all the things when we go home ...
I smiled and was about to leave... When my mother tightened the grip of her hand on mine...
On this action of hers, I went back to my seat and asked with a little fear, What's wrong?
She just somehow forced herself to sit...
And wrapped her arms around my neck... She hugged me ....Her hug was soft, like an assurance, assurance of not leaving me alone...I hugged her back... I was happy to be in her embrace.
But suddenly her hands dropped..her head was now on my shoulder, without any moment.
I shook her a little...
Maa, I called her...
Maa, no response came...
The beep-beepp sound of the monitor was changed now into a long beeping noise...
I wasn't able to understand a single thing... I was just shaking my mom's shoulder...
Suddenly some doctors and nurses rushed into the room...
Everything happened so suddenly that I was caught off guard...
I just went out to my grandparents and saw that they were crying....
I know my mom is no more...but still, I was not able to describe it...what does it mean when a person is gone?? what does it mean when a person is no more ?? maybe it was once again because of my age...but I didn't cry at all..... Everyone was hugging me and consoling me ....but I thought they needed it more than me...
After some time a nurse came out with a box in her hand...She handed that box to me...and told me that my mom had left it for me...
On the top of the box, it was written: " *Open when you feel it the right time* ."
I took that box and we all went home.
When all the ceremony was done... I went to school after 13 days...
Everything was normal like before ...
But after the morning assembly, my class teacher called me into her office...
When I got there she told me to stand beside her ..... She held my hands in hers and said, Aaruhi, I know that it is hard for you... But you should stay strong... Your mother will always stay beside you just like light .... Lighting the dark path for you forever and you still have your grandparents and us to take care of you....
Her words were just like thunder strike to me ....as if I was walking barefoot on a floor filled with needles. Yes, my maa is no more with me. Those words seem to have woken me up from a dream and let me face reality at the worst possible time.
When I went home, I locked myself in my room and sat on the floor, covering my mouth with my hands and started crying... I understood the meaning of death now... But the more I think about it the more it makes me cry...
The only thought in my mind was that... My maa is gone ... She is no longer here....she will no longer play with me ....she will no longer buy me candies to coax me...she will no longer wipe my tears...I have to face all the things by myself. I will have to do all the things on my own.
I cried out loud for a long time, but suddenly I remembered that box left for me by her...
I searched my whole room and found it inside a suitcase in my wardrobe, maybe it was kept there by my grandmother...
I took it and sat on my bed. I stroke my fingers upon the writing on it... The words, " Opens when you feel it's the right time " still look new ...I remember her handwriting which was always beautiful and elegant... But this time it was a little shakey ...
I opened it,
The first words on the top of the first envelop were,
" WHEN YOU REALISE I AM GONE "
My tears fell just by looking at the heading...
I realized that she was the only person who knew that, I would not be able to understand all these things at once.... Maybe that's what a mother is like ... Like a shadow of yours...who always protects you, cares for you, teaches you, scolds you, and loves you...
I opened the envelope and took out the letter...
Dear Aaruhi,
Tears start falling down my cheeks.
How are you, my child? I know if you are reading this maa might have been gone...
But don't worry, I will always accompany you differently...
You don't know but I have already made a contract with God to be with you...
I smiled a little at this line...I know she is just trying to lift my mood.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
I know it might be difficult for you to accept everything... But my child just remember the thing mumma has taught you...
And I will teach a lot of things to you through these letters...
Just promise me to open them accordingly.
I wish you lifelong happiness free of worries my dear daughter Aaruhi...
Byy buy my child.. : )
Hey...... Byy for just this letter we will again meet when you open the next one.
Take care.
Mumma loves you!!
I folded the letter and held it near my chest my tears kept on flowing down my cheeks.
I cried, I sobbed for a long time that day...
But gradually everything came back to normal...seconds changed into minutes changed into hours, hours changed into days, days changed into months, and finally, months changed into several years.
Times wait for no one, we meet a lot of people, we lose a lot of people, and a lot of things change, the thing that doesn't change is the going on of life...
And just like this right in front of the eyes, I became 13 years old and also got my first......
Periods!
Well, if I remember correctly then I didn't panic because of this, in fact I was happy, happy because it was time for me to open the next letter
It was still too early, so the sky was not bright yet. I took the letter and sat on my study table, switched on my lamp...
" WHEN YOU GOT YOUR FIRST PERIOD"
Oh my god!
Yeah! My girl is big now ...
Sorry I just got a little excited
Don't panic, it's not a big deal, every girl has to go through this, just go to your grandma she will help you ...
Now let me tell you something about this,
Hmm...so try to stay healthy during these days, if you have a stomach ache you can use a hot water bag and black chocolate is also effective if you have mood swings and cramps...
Oh! Yes, I will give you a tip, if you crave anything then just go to your grandpa...
I promise you he makes the best craving food.
Now go to your grandma...:)
I folded the letter and kept it inside the box... I can imagine her saying all these things right in front of me... I smiled and went to my grandma ...
Even though she was not with me, I could always feel her presence ...
And just like this, her letters accomplished me throughout every step of my life... It was just like, she was there for me to help me regain my confidence whenever I lost it, regain my strength when I have none... Help me to stand up...
Maybe I would have missed a lot of things ... A lot of things about a mother's love, without her letter...
Whenever I took a step up in my life I would explore a different side of hers.... And just like this, I opened her all letters ...
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" WHEN YOU GRADUATE "
" WHEN YOU FIRST FALL IN LOVE "
" WHEN YOU GET A JOB "
" WHEN YOU GET MARRIED "
" WHEN YOU BECOME A MOM "
And the letter which I never wanted to open, but still in life there is nothing like, " I don't want to " we have to go through everything
WHEN YOUR GRANDPARENTS .... "The title was just half-written but I could understand what that meant ... It was not like I never wanted to open it, it's just that I wanted to open it after, " WHEN YOU BECOME A MOM " but that was not, what fate wanted, I have to open it right after, " WHEN YOU GRADUATE "
Maybe it was the goal of my grandparent's life, to make me stand on my legs .... And now... I can live on my own... But still who wants to live alone ...
My grandpa and grandma both passed away together after two days of my graduation...
When I woke up that morning and went to their room, they both were sitting on their rocking chair, their chairs swinging a little, holding each other hands, facing the sun, there was a faint smile on both of their face like they both have no worries left now...
Maybe it was the love between them which never separated them from each other ....
I heard from someone that people who have pure hearts don't have to suffer before death...
I don't know how much of it is true .....
Even though I was sad at that time . I was also glad that they didn't have to suffer and had a peaceful death...
I opened the letter.
" WHEN YOUR GRANDPARENTS..... "
this letter was nothing like how I thought it to be...
There were just seven words on it.
" I will now take care of them"
Maybe my mom knows that at this time I didn't need any consoling but just an assurance, assurance of them being fine, no matter where they are...
There was also a letter that I never got an opportunity to open.
" WHEN YOU BROKE UP "
If I think now that was the funniest letter... I laughed for the whole day after reading that one with my husband...
He was even scared after reading all her threats in that letter...
It should be my mom's blessing that I got such a pure and kind-hearted husband... Who never hurt me ...
_____________________
And now it's time, to open the last letter...
" WHEN YOUR TIME COMES "
The paper has already turned yellow now...it represents the passing of time...
I opened the letter...
In this letter, her writing was much more shaky than any other... I can imagine the pain she was in while writing this one...
Dear Aaruhi,
By reading these two words I got a nostalgic vibe...maybe because she only started her first letter like this ...
" I Will Tell You One Of My Secrets"
The truth is I was very scared of death...
This line shocked me a bit because, in my blurry memory, I always remember her as a strong person, who was not afraid of anything...Even when she was admitted to the hospital, she used to smile a lot ...
So this never crossed my mind that she could also be scared...
I was scared but I was not scared of death, I was scared for you...
When your father passed away, I didn't cry because I didn't want to make you feel sad, I know at that time you didn't understand anything.... But if I would have cried, it would have hurt you ...
Your father always wanted to make you feel like a princess...
I remember your father's last words, " I don't want Aaruhi to cry .... Remember she is our princess "
A drop of tears rolled down my cheeks and fell down on the letter ...
And I wanted to make it truly happen, but maybe the faith was not in our favour
Not long after that, I was diagnosed with cancer...
At that very moment, I knew that I may not live longer....
But the thing that scared me the most was that you will have to face the bitter reality of life, the bitterness of
Separation from your mother and father...
I wanted to keep you under my shade...Protecting you under my shadow, helping you cross all hurdles. Even though I knew it was not possible... But still, every parent wants to protect their child from getting hurt ..... As much as they can...
But that was not the case for you, you have to face reality at a very small age...
For which mumma is very sorry...
Aaruhi don't worry just close your eyes .... Mumma is coming to pick you up now...
I lifted my head, my eyes filled with tears, I took a long deep breath for one last time ....
And everything started becoming blurred near my eyes ... The only thing I was able to see was my maa .....
Near the bed .... Her face was clear now, I was able to see her, not like how she was in my blurry memory... There was a warm smile on her face .....
The last thing I remember is that she stretched out her hands to hold mine .... And then I got up from my bed .... She pinched my cheek lightly like she used to do when I was small.
The person who was holding her hands was the Eight years old Aaruhi, who loved her mom dearly and wanted to have her by her side always not the Sixty - five years old Aaruhi who had somehow learned to live without her ......
I know my mother loves both sides of me...
She kissed my forehead.
Let's go .....
We both started walking towards a bright path, maybe it was an ending or maybe it was a new starting.
The only thing left behind was my body, with a faint and satisfied smile on my face and the long beepping sound of the monitor...
I looked at my mother's bright face with a smile.
And.....
The last thing I want to say is that...
The love you gave me was the most precious treasure of my life .... Which I will always keep in my heart ....
Maa, I was very fortunate to have a mother, like you ....
If I get another chance, then I would love to be your daughter again.....
" I LOVE YOU MAA."
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The End
Thank you everyone for reading 🤗 !
I hope you enjoyed it!
Byy by! 😊
PS- English is not my first language, I am sorry if there are some mistakes.