She hadn’t left his side in hours. Her green hand held his scarred, tanned one. The goblin could feel Ariana’s eyes on her, coldly studying her from afar, but Gigi didn’t care. Let her stare. In truth, she was grateful Ariana let her stay. Despite the goblin’s bluster, if Ariana had snapped her fingers, Gigi’s green ass would have been thrown out that door. Still, she didn’t exactly enjoy being put under her microscope.

“Can I help you?” asked Gigi, attempting to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“Perhaps,” Ariana said. She glided over from the edge of the room to where Gigi was standing. “Goblin, I must admit, I have been…unfriendly toward you. It has been unfair of me.” Gigi wasn’t expecting that. The goblin turned to her with a look of surprise.

Gigi shrugged. “Well, if you don’t mind me asking, why have you been so…” She wanted to use many words but settled on “Cold.”

Ariana sighed and looked away. “I have lived a long time. Since founding this town…going on three centuries ago, I have seen many people fall in and out of love.” Ariana folded her arms and turned back to Gigi. The goblin could feel a pit forming in her stomach; she didn’t like where this was going. “What I’m trying to say is that what you two have is…special.”

Gigi’s watery brown eyes met the Drow’s steely pink ones. For the first time, Gigi saw Ariana not as an intimidating witch or a problem solver but as a person. A very old person. One that Gigi could only imagine the kind of loneliness that went along with a birthday before Poppy even existed.

“I am ashamed to admit it, but I envy you,” Ariana whispered. I wish I had what you have,” she said, her cheeks becoming slightly scarlet.

I FUCKING KNEW IT!

“Drake,” Gigi said dryly.

“Love,” Ariana said sadly.

Gigi’s ears lowered. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. Feel lucky. Drake is a flame in the wind. He will burn himself out for you if you let him.”

Gigi didn’t respond. She knew how right Ariana was. Guilt clawed at her insides as her grip on Drake’s hand tightened. Ariana turned away and began to walk back to her desk. “Hey, Ariana,” Gigi called after her. “Thank you…for everything.”

The drow smiled and nodded at Gigi before turning back. At some point in the evening, Ariana retired to her room. Then Gigi slid into the bed next to her lover when she thought they were alone. The bed was large, and she was small. The goblin sidled in next to him. She wrapped her arms around him, listening to his shallow breathing. Eventually, she dozed off into a fitful night’s rest.

***

The following day, Drake awoke to a sleeping Gigi next to him. No matter how often he woke up next to her, it always felt like a dream. As his mind sharpened, his conversation with the Black Lord came thundering back to him. Two years to live, maybe less. He had been robbed of so much of his life, but putting a number to it made him tremble. He studied his lover’s face as the fact hurtled through his mind. The end was in sight. He couldn’t look away any longer.

Right as he had found some modicum of happiness and peace, his future was torn away. He had always suspected he would never get to grow old with Gigi. However, being able to count the days left with the woman he loved ripped him apart. He was doomed unless he took the Black Lord’s offer to be his avatar. To be his slave. A tear rolled down his cheek. Drake reached out and drew Gigi closer to his chest.

For her, it would be worth it. Drake considered the possibility that freedom was not his lot in life, and a great sorrow welled up within him. He knew it was easy enough to give up and die, but to live, he would need to be strong. Drake wondered if he had the strength to keep fighting, to wage his war for a life, and to live his dreams.

***

Gigi awoke to Drake looking at her with tearful eyes. Despite being still wrapped in sleep’s embrace, she knew something was wrong, so she reached out and grabbed his trembling hand. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Did you have a bad dream again?” Gigi asked, concerned.

Drake shook his head. “No, not a dream. " His voice was choked and tired.

A looming sense of dread quickly formed in Gigi’s stomach. “Drake, please, what’s going on?” she pleaded. Drake said nothing. “Remember, you can’t lie, I’ll know.” Drake swallowed hard and nodded. His watery blue eyes met Gigi’s fret-filled chestnut ones. There was an unfathomable amount of pain behind Drake’s eyes. He was scaring her. “Potato, whatever is wrong, we’ll face it together,” she said with the courage she didn’t feel.

“I’m running out of time,” he said, his eyes meeting her sorrowfully.

“What do you mean? Everything is fine. We have our whole lives,” she said reassuringly.

Drake grimaced and looked away. “What if I told you I don’t have much life left?” he said grimly.

Gigi was confused. Although slightly older than her, he wasn’t an old man. No, she knew that wasn’t what he meant. “ Drake? You’re scaring me,” fear bled into her voice.

“My magic…isn’t free. When I use it, I give up a piece of my shadow.”

“A piece of your shadow?” Gigi asked, perplexed.

Drake shrugged. “That’s what I was told when I was a boy. When you run out of shadow to give…you die.”

Gigi’s mouth dropped. Did he just tell her he was dying from using his magic? No, it had to be a lie! Then Ariana’s warning came back to her with icy tendrils of dread. Power isn’t free. Fury flashed in her like lightning when the full breadth of his words registered. When he was a boy!? She flung the covers off and jumped from the bed.

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“Did you just say,” she could feel her rage boiling up, “you have known that using your magic kills you, THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME?!” she screamed at him. Drake said nothing. He looked away from her and grimaced. “By the gods, it’s true!” She could feel hot tears beginning to creep into her eyes. “How could you lie to me about this?!”

Drake got out of bed and stood across from the furious Gigi. His gaze was firmly on the floor, his expression the same one he wore at the funeral. Gigi knew he felt guilty, but she didn’t care. She was terrified of losing him and so angry. Then, a terrible thought came to her mind. One she was too frightened to ask right away. The question clawed at her mind, but fear held her tongue still. A tense silence hung in the air.

“Gigi, I’m so sorry,” Drake said finally.

“How much time do you have?” she asked, fighting back tears. Drake didn’t say anything. “How much time, Drake?!” she pleaded.

“I didn’t know until today-”

“I don’t believe you,” she shot back. Drake nodded sadly. “Drake. How. Much. Time? You owe me the truth.”

Drake’s lips tightened as if something very sour was in his mouth. “The Black Lord said I have two years, give or take.”

Gigi’s eyes went wide with shock and horror. Two years?! She didn’t know what she had expected, but two years…It felt as if a sword had run through her heart. She took a step back like the words had physically struck her.

“You…you…idiot. You absolute moron,” she whispered. Drake tried to move toward her, but Gigi stepped back. “Every stupid trick you did for me, for those kids, for the village, you gave up our life together.”

“I just wanted to make you happy,” he pleaded.

“Do I look happy?” she asked angrily. Drake shook his head. “You know what would have made me happy, Drake?”

He shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. “What?” he asked nervously.

“The truth. It’s what I deserve. I’ve never lied to you, Drake, not about something like this,” she said, tears rolling down her emerald cheeks. She had shared her body with this man. She was perilously close to giving him her heart. She had dreamed of a future with him. Now, she felt like she didn’t know him; worse, she would have no time to find the truth.

Drake sighed and sat down on the bed. He put his head in his tattooed hands, and to Gigi, it looked like despair had taken him at that moment. He looked up with bleary eyes. “I wanted to tell you…I did.”

“Bullshit!” she exclaimed. “Then why didn’t you?”

“Because…I didn’t know if you loved me.” Gigi was caught off guard by that response. “Because if you didn’t, I could have just faded away. I could have just disappeared like a good memory, one more line in your story, because mine would never have a happy ending, Gigi. Why ruin yours?”

“Drake…” She didn’t know what to say.

“You’re the only woman in my life I have ever loved. You’re the only person I have ever met that I thought, maybe, loved me back. If you knew that every time I used my magic, I died a little, I was scared you would never love me. That you would know…how disposable…I truly am.”

Gigi’s ears sank with her heart when he finished speaking. There was a torrent of emotions raging inside of her. Fury lashed her heart. Sorrow drowned her mind. Despair loomed above her, a reaper ready to collect.

“Drake, I think I might have loved you,” she said through tears. Drake winced like he had been shot with an arrow. “But now I don’t know if I can trust you, and I can’t love someone I can’t trust.”

“Then let me tell you everything.”

“There’s more?” she asked nervously.

“Like I said, the Black Lord told me for the first time today how long I have left…He did it for a reason.” Drake put his hands on his knees and gripped them tightly. “If I’m willing to take up his banner, to fight for him, he will stop taking my shadow.”

Gigi’s heart leaped into her throat. There was hope, after all. “What did you tell him?” she asked, stepping closer.

“I would need time to think about it,” Drake sighed.

Gigi’s ears twitched. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He had been given a chance to escape his early grave and had to think about it. She tried to keep herself calm. She didn’t want to scream.

“Drake, you were given a chance for us to be together, and you ‘needed time’ to think about it?” she seethed.

“It’s not that simple, Gigi.” He stood from the bed and faced her.

“Then explain it to me because from where I’m standing, it’s looking crystal clear.” She crossed her arms to stop them from trembling in rage.

“If I become his avatar, I’m just handing my leash from one master to another. I’ll be a tool until the end of my days,” Drake said defensively.

“So you won’t like your boss! Drake, we could have a life together!”

“Gigi…I-”

“You want a life with me, right? Or was that a lie, too?” She wasn’t being fair, but she didn’t care. “By the gods, Drake, you wanted to have a family with me.” To think, she had even been considering it. “What was your plan? To knock me up and then die a year later?”

Drake grimaced. “I should have told you about my shadow, but you must believe me. I didn’t know how long I had left.”

“You didn’t want to know, Drake. Ariana said you were in a state of ‘magical exhaustion’ and could have died. Do you know who would have had to bury you?” She stomped up to him. “Me!” She pushed him and began to sob. Drake staggered back and looked down.

“What can I do to make this right?” Drake asked.

Gigi shook her head, tears streaming down her face and onto the floor below. “Drake, I want you to leave me alone. I need time to think.”

“What do you need to think about?” he asked with pleading eyes.

She looked away. “Whether or not we should be together.”

“Gigi…Please, I love you. You are everything in this world that matters to me.” Drake held out his arms to try and embrace her. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Gigi stepped back. She was afraid she might lose her temper and control of her strength with it. “Well, I don’t know if I love you,” she said bitterly. Gigi met his gaze with rage in her eyes. “After this, I don’t know if I ever will.”

Drake closed his mouth and looked at her as if his heart had just been shattered. “I’m sorry…I should have left when you first found me,” he said quietly. He lowered his head and grimaced. “One day, I hope you find someone you can love, Gigi. I wish it could have been me…I truly do, but I won’t waste more of your time.” Drake began to walk toward the door.

Gigi’s heart dropped. What was he saying? Was he leaving Poppy? “Drake, wait,” she protested. She went to stop him. “Please, don’t leave like this. I just need some time.” She went to grab his arm, but her fingers sliced right through. Her eyes went wide.

“We both know I don’t have any of that left,” he said, turning back to her with a thin smile. He took a moment to look at her face. She could feel herself being studied as if he knew this was the last time he would see it.

“Drake, whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t!”

“Goodbye, Gigi. Thank you…for everything. It really was the best time of my life. Give the family my love…I don’t think I can tell them goodbye-” his voice hitched. He turned away and began to walk. Gigi moved after him, trying to hug him, but he phased through her arms. She scrambled after him until he walked through the door and out of sight.

Gigi threw the door open in a panic. A sinking feeling that she had just seen Drake leave her life began forming. On the other side of the door was not Drake but Ariana, who looked like she had just been caught red-handed. Gigi could have guessed she would eavesdrop.

“Did you see Drake?!” Gigi blurted out. Ariana shook her head. Gigi looked down and put her head in her hands. “How much did you hear?”

“Enough,” Ariana replied.

“What should I do?” Ariana looked surprised by the question.

She put her hand on her chin, thinking. “To be honest, these problems aren’t my area of expertise. However, as I see it, you can mourn or collect yourself and go after him.”

Gigi nodded and wiped her tears away. She couldn’t let him leave her life, not like this. She had to find him.