"What am I even doing here?" "There has to be a better way I could be spending my time."

These thoughts ringing through my head aren't something that are few and far between. In fact, lately they've been the only thing occupying the empty cavity in my head. Surely they had some merit to them? Right? Why else would I dwell on them for so long?

"There's no point in this endless charade."

I... I guess so...?

"-en"

I mean, I've been doing the same thing for what...six years now? seven? I'm twenty-six now, and I went to college for a year when I turned eighteen. Then I dropped out and got this job.

"-Gen..."

Do I even have anything to show for it? I have an apartment, but aside from me and my mattress, it's empty. Hell, even I'm not there most of the time. Last time I checked, it went down in value too. So, it's not like I can get anything else if I sold it.

"Gen."

Honestly, why am I even doing this? Wouldn't it just be better if I-

"GEN!"

"Huh?" I felt my head jolt up. I looked around and saw a room of people looking at me.

"Earth to Gen, are you following me here?" My boss said.

"Y-Yes sir. I'm sorry. I was just-"

"Save it." He interrupted. "Listen, I get it, this is a dull meeting, but let's just get through it and you can come to my office afterwards and explain, alright?." He said, finishing his thought.

"Okay sir." I said, embarrassed at the situation I put myself in.

The meeting went by about as normally as one would expect. But the news we were going over wasn't great, the company had been hit by a few false safety violation charges, and fighting them or paying the fines would lead to a huge drop in profit. I also noticed my co-workers casting their gazes towards me every so often and murmuring amongst themselves.

After all was said and done, I saw my boss motion for me to follow him. After a short walk from the meeting room to the other side of the building, I found myself in his spacious office.

"Sit down, please" He told me, in an unusually comforting tone.

I thought it would be better to explain away my 'alertness' in the meeting as soon as I could.

"Sir, I'm so sorry about that, It's been a long week and my alarm broke recently..."

"Gen, stop." He shut down my pitiful excuses almost as quick as they came out. "I'm worried about you." He said shortly after.

"Huh?" I was dumbfounded at the sudden tone shift.

"You've been acting strange the past few months, at first it wasn't bad but lately it's been getting worrisome."

A few months? Has anything happened from then to now?

"I know you've been doing good up until now, but you're performance drop has me questioning your mental stability."

Wait, don't tell me...

"I've already talked with the other team members, we're all in agreeance that it'd be best if you 'took a break' from the work load for a while."

He handed me a lengthy sheet of paper while saying that. In red print it was titled, 'Notice of Termination'.

"With how we've been going into the red lately, I need all of us to be at the top of our performance, I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from?"

"Yes s-sir. I understand." I was trying to not let my voice shake.

As I got up to dismiss myself and gather my things, he spoke out again.

"Take care of yourself, Okay? Hey maybe once you're in a better head space we can talk about your reinstatement."

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I half turned my head towards him and nodded before I went to my cubicle and pack up.

Most of the stuff there was company owned so a single box was only about half filled. I wonder what I should do now... I doubt I can get another job right now with how the market is. Maybe I should take a break, like my boss was saying. Though I don't feel any different than I did before. He said a few months right? Wait, that's when I first started having those weird thoughts. Were they affecting me that much?

"Doesn't matter now..." I sighed to myself. I should probably call my dad and let him know what happened. I take out my phone and call his contact.

"..." "..." "..." "Thanks for calling, sorry I couldn't rea-"

I hang up, weird, usually he picks up whenever I call. I guess he's just busy right now. It's probably better that I gather my thoughts before dumping it onto him.

After a long walk home, I turn on the lights and put my things down. It's already almost 8:00pm, I guess I was lost in my own thoughts walking over. I get dressed in something more casual and go to the bathroom.

I look in the mirror and give myself a look over. My hair is getting long, if I don't brush it back it'd cover most of my face, I should cut it soon. It's also getting kind of greasy, usually it's harder to tell when my hair is dirty because of how dark it is. But I guess it'd show every now and then.

I look around before I flex my arms in the mirror. I've gotten skinnier since I've stopped going to the gym. At least I was pretty active in High school and college. Maybe I should start again. Whatever that's a problem for tomorrow. I go back to the main room and lay down on my mattress and pull out my phone.

"oh nice." I muttered, a new episode of the anime I was watching came out. My phone's almost dead, but I guess I do have some free time now, might as well watch it. As I pressed play I heard a knock at the door.

"What the?" If people are going to try selling me things, I really doubt now is the best time to be doing it.

I walked over to the door, and looked through the peephole, It was a large, chubby man, dressed in a police officer's uniform. His belt was about 3 holes too small and his gut was rolling over the top of it. However, his comical body didn't match his expression.

I opened the door and asked what it was he was doing here.

"Are you Gen Justarios?" The man said in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Yes, I am, what's this about? Did I do something wrong?" I said, rather confused.

"No sir. There... There's been an accident at your father's work place. He's passed on." He said, with a sorry face.

"W...What?" I only half convinced myself I'd heard him wrong.

He continued to explain. "With his spouse being passed on already, and you being the only next of kin, It's your choice on how to deal with the funeral services."

He handed me a card and said "Here, call these folks and they'll let you know about what to do next."

I didn't reply for what felt like hours.

"Sir?" His voice snapped me out of my stupor.

"Oh... Okay, yeah I'll call them... and uh, deal... with it." I said barely remembering what he said.

"Alright sir, you take care of yourself now." He said, walking off down the stairs to the ground level.

'Take Care of myself'? That sounds familiar. I took a few steps back inside and collapsed to my knees. Tears that I've felt wallowing up inside my eyes since the meeting with my boss came rushing out.

Thousands of thoughts filled my head all at the same time. "Why today?" "When I called, was he already..." "I didn't even ask how it happened." "I'll never see him again."

But one thought kept pushing back to the forefront. A similar thought to those that began a few months ago. "There's no reason to stay."

All of my ties with this place were just cut, within a few hours of each other. I don't have a reason to keep up with this repetitive life of mine. With my eyes still heavy from the tears, I resolved myself and began to pack my things.

After a little while, I had a backpack full of everything I'd need. I also made sure to call the morgue to set up a small funeral service for my father. As I pressed the button to hang up, my phone died. It's going to be a long trip.

I sat at the empty bus stop for about an hour. These thoughts I've been having, they all feel the same. Why do I feel so inclined to follow them? "It doesn't matter now." I thought, as the bus began to pull up to the stop and slow to a halt.

I picked up my bag and walked over to the opening door. As I hoisted the bag over my shoulder I took a step onto the bus and suddenly fell down. I catch myself and realize something, I tripped on a... Tree root?

"Wait..." I said to myself, It wasn't just the tree root, everything around me was covered in grass, or rather, was grass. I stood up and looked forward, there was an open expanse of trees, grass, hills, and even mountains. I was in some kind of forest.

I started to breathe heavily at the realization of my situation, my bag, had vanished, along with everything else that hinted at civilization. "But wait." I began to think.

"This is exactly what you wanted right?"

It is, isn't it? Wait, what you wanted? Something felt off. That wasn't my own thought.

"Uh oh, Looks like I got ahead of myself." A giant voice rang out through my skull, bouncing around, beating my brain into submission.

"It doesn't matter, I can still work with this." The Voice boomed again, even more painful than the last.

Something had been forcing thoughts into my head. Was it just these? Or is it responsible for the ones that started a few months back too?

I couldn't think straight, It's like my body was being rapidly taken over by some virus, I tried opening my eyes to see if anyone was around, but my eyesight had been replaced by a glitchy mess, I couldn't make anything out, eventually the pain was too much to bear and my consciousness began to fade.

When I came to, the pain had stopped and my eyesight had returned to normal. But more interestingly, the thoughts had ceased their onslaught of my mentality. I also noticed I was still in this strange forest. I couldn't see anything in the distance and all I had on me were my clothes and my dead phone.

As I fiddled around with my phone trying to squeeze out just enough power to turn on for a few minutes. I heard a rustle of the bushes behind me. I turned around and saw what had made the noise a few seconds prior.

"Oh God."