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A morning of peculiar unrest beckoned me from the imposing walls of Rosings to the humble abode of Mr. Collins. The walk, intended to clear my thoughts, became a pilgrimage of a different sort as I approached the parsonage. I anticipated a morning of polite, if not tiresome, conversation with the Collinses and their guest, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Yet, fate, it seems, had conspired to set a different scene.
Upon my entrance, I found Miss Bennet alone, an unexpected circumstance that arrested my composure and set my heart to an uncharacteristic flutter. My intrusion startled her, and in my disconcertment, I stumbled over my words, offering an apology as I explained my mistaken understanding that all the ladies were within.
There we sat, two solitary figures bound by propriety yet divided by an invisible chasm of unspoken thoughts and emotions. Our initial exchanges concerning Rosings were perfunctory at best, and it was not long before an oppressive silence threatened to engulf us both. It was absolutely necessary to find some common ground upon which to converse.
In a moment of impulsive curiosity, I broached the subject of our sudden departure from Netherfield. “How very suddenly you all quitted Netherfield last November, Mr. Darcy!” she remarked. “It must have been a most agreeable surprise to Mr. Bingley to see you all after him so soon; for, if I recollect right, he went but the day before.”
My response was terse, “Perfectly so, I thank you,” yet I could feel the weight of her unasked questions pressing upon me.
She continued, pressing the matter further, “I think I have understood that Mr. Bingley has not much idea of ever returning to Netherfield again?”
The question hung heavily between us, and I replied with calculated ambiguity, “I have never heard him say so; but it is probable that he may spend very little of his time there in future.”
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The topic shifted to the felicity of Mr. Collins’s marriage, and I found myself praising the union with a sincerity I had not expected to voice. “Mr. Collins appears very fortunate in his choice of a wife,” I ventured.
“Yes, indeed; his friends may well rejoice in his having met with one of the very few sensible women who would have accepted him, or have made him happy if they had,” she replied with a perceptiveness that spoke of a deep understanding of her friend’s circumstances.
As our conversation meandered from the merits of matrimony to the considerations of distance and family, I found myself drawn deeper into the labyrinth of her intellect and wit. Her observations on the relative nature of distance prompted a smile from me, for there was an unspoken acknowledgment of the vast social gulf that lay between us.
“You cannot have a right to such very strong local attachment,” I remarked, inadvertently betraying my awareness of her thoughts on Jane and Netherfield.
The ensuing dialogue, filled with the subtle barbs and parries of our unique rapport, served to remind me of the singular nature of our acquaintance. We danced around truths known only to ourselves, each word laced with layers of meaning and sentiment.
Yet, as the conversation progressed, I became acutely aware of the impropriety of our seclusion. The sudden entrance of Mrs. Collins and her sister brought an abrupt end to our tête-à-tête. My leave was taken shortly thereafter, with the echo of our exchange resonating within me, a haunting melody of what might have been and what was yet to come.
Upon my return to Rosings, the solitude of my chambers offered little respite from the turmoil of my thoughts. Miss Bennet’s presence had become a fixed point in my existence, a star by which I unwittingly navigated. The revelation of my own vulnerability, laid bare in the quietude of the parsonage, was both a torment and an epiphany.
I closed my eyes, and her image was there—indelible, unbidden, and utterly beguiling. The realization of my predicament was as inescapable as it was profound: I was, against all reason and expectation, irrevocably and irretrievably...
Fitzwilliam Darcy