Xing raised his hand, silencing Susu. “Brother Ying,” Xing said calmly. “We know how Master Chaoxiang treated all of us. However, You could’...no. You should’ve ignored his request and sent the message to us regardless! It was selfish for you to withhold that from us!”
“Unlike the either of you, I have respect for Master!”
“…and we don’t?” Xing said coldly.
“When last have you spoken to the Master before coming here?”
“That doe—“
“IT DOES! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK NOT SPEAKING FOR THREE YEARS ISN’T NORMAL BROTHER XING!” Ying said stepping forward, being a hair’s length away from Xing’s chin.
The heat that wallowed from Ying’s breath was like a hot spring on a cold night. Overpowering. It was as if his breath, was emanating how he felt about Xing. Hate. Anger. Frustration.
Yes. Xing knew that Master Chaoxiang saw him as a son. Hell, he saw Ying’er, and Guo’er as sons as well. He treated them so, yet, the pressure of being the oldest always got to Xing…in a bad way.
Before coming to Kaihua Village, Xing hadn’t spoken to the master after the Grand Martial Arts Tournament, he scolded him for drinking before his fight, a fight he planned to quit midway.
“You can’t even win a fight against wine, why do you even come here to shame yourself.” Xing reminisced. …because I’m no better!
“The slate has been wiped clean between the Master and I. Why bring up stale milk Brother Ying?” Xing said calmly. “There’s no reason to speak of favourites, especially with Su’er. Bodhidharma’s light, didn’t the master spend two gold coins on those medicinal pouches you have? I know he never left Guo’er and I to grow hungry. Su’er received the best hanfu dresses. All of us were treated as favourites in his own way!”
Ying’s eyes still held that resilience as he stared up at Xing, but when he stepped back, Xing saw the tenderness return to them once more.
“I apologise for my words Su’er, but treating the master alone, to watch him die…slowly, has left me tattered in mind and spirit. I’m ashamed to call you sister because of how I spoke to you.”
Xing eyed Susu, whose veil had drifted back over her eyes, she kept rocking the child from side to side, trying her best to keep calm.
That’s one of the reasons for the veil, to hide her temper, but if there was a man alive who knew best, that would be Xing.
“There’s no need to apologise Brother Ying, but never again mention favouritism to me.”
“Once you do the same for me.”
“I’ve never made any qualms about you joining the Red Flower Society Brother Ying. I am jealous of your acupoint efficacy. If I had quarter of your talent. No one would dare step to me. Accentuation Realm…or not..” Susu said, eyeing Xing, trying to guilt-trip him.
It was working.
Xing smiled bitterly and nodded in accordance. “There’s no need to worry, I plan to break through and soon.” He said calmly, “It was my last promise to the master.”
“How do you plan to break through if you have to take care of the child?” Ying asked.
Xing flashed a knowing smile and eyed the child in Susu’s arm. “Leave that to me,” He said coldly. “Leave that to me.”
“How?” Susu asked, not letting his arrogance fester.
Xing groaned a sigh, then looked at Ying and Susu, whose eyes were both laced in curiosity. It wasn’t in either of them to ask about my plans, that was mostly done by Heng Guo…but as he wasn’t here, they both decided to question him. “I’m heading to Sichuan.”
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“What!?” Susu snarled, more than asked. “You’re taking her there? Is your MIND MUDDLED?”
“It is not.”
“Brother Xing…I understand the pressure the Master has placed on you. I know taking care of the child is a heavy burden, but Sichuan? I’m willing to agree with Su’er’s thoughts, are you muddle-brained? Sichuan is filled with ill-intent people, bandits and cultists alike. Ever since Emperor Tian Hao moved the capital to Chang’an it hasn’t been the same.”
Xing smiled, feeling his cheeks strain from the exaggeration he placed on them. He then turned to his master’s pyre and nodded. “My mind is a clear day. Sichuan may not be ideal but it’s the best place for me to raise her.”
“Why there?” Susu asked, barely containing her anger.
Xing turned back to Susu, eyeing her, removing the mask he wore. His face was now serious, as serious as Master Chaoxiang’s own, as prudent and delicate as it would ever be.
“There’s less temptation in Sichuan than there is here. The child can also see me do good. Once she sees my deeds, I hope it’ll inspire her.”
“…and what if a cultist finds her in your clutches?” Ying asked, annoyed.
“That won’t happen.”
“That’s not ENOUGH for me Brother Xing.” Susu said coldly, “If you won’t tell me what you plan to do, do not expect me to hand her over to you.”
Xing gave bitter smile, watching Susu’s eyes pierce his soul from behind her veil. He knew whenever she said something, she’d mean it and this was one of those very times.
He swallowed deeply and in that short moment, he said words that he never thought he would ever say.
Master Chaoxiang didn’t make him swear these words, but he swore these words on the very day his Master’s death was announced to him. It was a culmination of things that had brought him here.
Xing knew why he drank so vicariously. He knew why he hardly cultivated. After defeating Matriarch Yun, he had no reason to practice further.
All that was left for him after that, was for him to drink and cry his sorrows away. If Yun Yan had lived, she would’ve nudged him, like a sweet whisper in his ears. Words that tingled and made him feel alive.
…those words, now lived in a bottle of wine. Wine so strong that his skin was tingled. However, that tingle he felt was nothing but a facade, one that barely matched the gentle embrace of Yun Yan’s hands and lips.
He knew all of this, yet, he refused to stop…but not anymore, not for one more day, and not for one more night.
Xing was determined to change because he now didn’t live for himself, but for the child…a child from Axsum.
“From today henceforth, I, Zhao Xing will be abstaining from wine,” Xing said coldly. The wind died, killing the sound of rustling grass and trees. The chirping sound of birds passing by, fell silent as if they were avoiding a predator.
Susu looked at Xing puzzled behind her veil, then turned to Bo Ying, who too looked at Xing as if Heaven itself just opened its doors ushering all four of them through its pearly gates.
The words Susu tried to form were like rice slipping through her fingertips whilst she checked a sack. She stood there, speechless and dumbfounded I, Zhao Xing will be abstaining from wine? She repeated in her mind.
Xing fell to his knees with a thud, feeling the heat from the pyre rage against his back. He ignored it.
“I promise that I will protect this child, down to my last breath. You can trust me with her protection. I will not let you down, I swear it on the Master’s grave!”
Hesitation was painted across Susu’s face. She’s just lost her Master, the man that saved her from a life of trepidation. The child in her arms felt like a boulder, heavy and filled with expectations.
The words of her master crept back into her mind. I know I’m not ready Susu thought, but that doesn’t mean I want to! Susu hugged the child in her arms for a while, feeling the gazes of both Ying and Xing eye her.
No matter how much time passed, she still didn’t feel relieved, but between Ying and Xing, she knew that Xing was the best person to keep her safe.
He was of the Accentuation Realm expert, someone who couldn’t be easily defeated, and if he could ascend to the Qi Perception Realm, then the child’s safety would be guaranteed.
Susu stepped forward, knees weak from what she was about to do. She looked into Xing’s eyes, looking for what she seemed most concerned about and found it.
Sincerity.
Xing loved to drink wine and loved to bed women at a moment's notice, but he was righteous in the way he treated those he loved. Those were the thoughts that Susu cherished the most.
She may not have been a Huaxian by birth, but she was by action and thought, and this was something he told her multiple times whenever she was unsure of her place here.
That type of nourishment was something Susu couldn’t give, and she knew that which pained her in her heart.
Susu placed the child in Xing’s hand, tears flowing from her eyes and aching within her heart. She spent a little over two months with her, and it felt as though the child herself came from her very womb.
She then stared into Xing’s eyes, wiping the tears from hers and flashed a stern eye. “I leave her in your care Brother Xing, till I am capable of raising her myself.”