Students poured in a torrential wave down the school’s bare corridors. Cloud-softened afternoon light streamed in from the high windows casting a soft glow over tousled parts and half undone braids. Their many footsteps rang loud on the tiled floors and their young voices shouted over each other in the frenzied energy of finally being let outside. Zachary allowed himself to be carried by the rush out the oak double doors into the fresh air, hands in pockets and smart pad strapped to his back.
He was greeted with a raucous chorus of Happy Birthday accompanied with several punches to his shoulders, slaps to his back, and more than one hands mussing his hair. Zachary ducked his head to hide his blush and tried not to make eye contact with any of the students outside of the circle who were undoubtedly eyeing him with a mixture of jealousy and hatred. Of course, he hadn’t asked for the attention, but that came part and parcel with being the son of the most powerful person in the city, along with the secrets and lies.
The inside of the circle consisted of five teenagers, including Zachary, all the prodigious offspring of Carwyn’s own inner circle. They were an extended family brought together by the wealth and status of their parents, their relationships decided before they’d even been born. The result was a strange amalgamation of friendship, rivalry, and messy polyamory Zachary did his best to stay out of. He had gone on family holidays with Kiera, pulled silly pranks with Yousef, crammed for an economics exam Lin, and had sex with Jacob. But he had never whispered secrets with them before bed or bought each other flowers.
“I don’t want to go home,” Zachary confessed once they had reached the cool air of the front quad. The school occupied an entire block surrounded by high fences and populated by jacaranda trees and stone footpaths. Privileged dripped from its walls and oozed in puddles on the floor. It was the sort of place that everyone on the outside wanted to be inside and those on the inside lived in fear of being kicked out.
“What about the cake and the celebration? We had a whole plan for your 18th birthday,” Keira asked, surprised. She was looking especially pretty today, her kinky hair pulled up with pink ribbons that matched her blouse and the laces of her sneakers.
He was closest with Kiera by virtue of her taking dance lessons with him every week since the age of four. They used to be inseparable until they had gotten older and the secrets had begun to pile up. Then she had turned to cheerful, uncomplicated Lin who was always more than happy to go out and escape their five siblings. Zachary suspected she knew something about his mother, but was waiting for him to tell her and that was never going to happen.
“I know, I just don’t feel like it.” Zachary sighed.
“Come off it,” Yousef chided, kicking his ankle lightly.
“Is your mother ill again?” Jacob asked, his thick brows drawn in sympathy. He was a big, athletic sort, but always had a soft spot for Zachary. He had a way of finding him when the stress became too much and he broke down in the school bathroom. On more than one occasion he had held him as he cried, kissed his tears away and later, turned the pain to pleasure, without ever asking impossible questions like why? or how long? or who? He was just there, lovely, broad-shouldered, and warm.
“No,” Zachary admitted, even though it would have been easier to lie. It was always harder to lie to Jacob than it was to the others. “She’s actually been doing better recently.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” Lin asked as they guided them out the front gates and toward the convenience store across the street.
“Yeah,” Zachary agreed with a forced smile, unable to say that the good times were nearly just as bad. No one understood the constant anxiety of setting her off, the fear that it might be your hand on her shoulder that turned her smile into a grimace. She always got so excited for his birthdays and he could not muster the energy to pretend to be happy right now, tip-toeing around anything negative that might trigger her. And he could not tell them any of that. Instead he looped his arm over Yousef’s shoulders and pushed open the glassdoor of the convenience store, sending an electronic bell ringing.
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“Is it your dad then?” Kiera asked, studying the shelf of chocolate bars deliberating between caramel, hazelnut, dark, milk and the million other flavor combinations available.
“When isn’t it his dad?” Yousef laughed, some of the tension coming loose.
Picking a bar of espresso chocolate they moved onto the refrigerator section. The shop was full of other students gossiping, pushing each other and buying snacks for the way home, but they parted like the Red Sea for Carwyn’s son and his friends while the cashier eyed them anxiously, ready to jump to their assistance at a moment’s notice.
“What did he do this time?” Lin asked, mildly.
“Nothing, I just don’t feel like going home,” Zachary explained, grabbing a strawberry banana smoothie for Kiera and a berry one for himself.
“Hey, it’s your birthday, mate,” Jacob said, louder than was strictly necessary. “Let’s bunk off the party for a few hours, get some sweet bread and go down to the river till dinner.”
Zachary nodded, grateful the conversation had shifted.
They filled several paper bags with more buns of chocolate, cream, and redbean than they could possibly eat in one afternoon, carelessly swiped their cards, and left the shop. The sun was already low in the sky, a reminder that winter was fast approaching. A brisk wind blew through the streets, funneled by the tall buildings and scattering dried leaves and discarded wax paper. But Zachary did not feel cold. He was warm and restless, his sadness turning to thinly veiled frustration as they made their way down the stone steps to the river’s bank. He began kicking the bits of rubbish and stones which Yousef, who always had enough energy for three people, quickly turned into a game until he accidentally kicked Lin in the shin and they put an end to it.
Despite the fact that any one of them could use their company IDs to open a picnic table or bench, they opted to sit on the edge of the bank, their legs dangling above the water as they opened the snacks. For a while they ate their sweets, complained about exams, and teased Zachary that he was about to go gray with age. The whole while Jacob was sitting next to him, exceptionally quiet, his thigh pressed against his, waiting. Zachary just wanted to forget his father and the competition and his mother, but he knew Jacob wasn’t going to let it go and it was better to give him a piece of the truth now then later once the wine had been opened. When there was a lull in the conversation, he finally gave in.
“Father wants me to take a break from dance after the competition. He says I need to get a job or an internship,” Zachary admitted.
“Oh no!” Kiera exclaimed, dramatically dropping her bread back into its paper bag. “You can’t take a break now! We need to start preparing for nationals after this.”
Jacob put a hand on his shoulder and just held it there, steadying.
“I know.” Zachary sighed. “But he’s been going on about this for a few years now. I don’t think I can keep putting it off and I don’t think I can change his mind.”
Kiera frowned at the water, her face contemplative. “What does your mom say?”
Zachary took a sip of his smoothie while watching some pigeons fighting over a small worm. He didn’t look at her as he said, “I don’t know. She supports my dancing, but she’s been distant lately.”
“Well you said she’s been doing better,” Lin said, gesturing with their bread, their face brightening with easy optimism. “Maybe try and talk to her tonight and then maybe she can talk some sense into your dad.” Pieces of their bun crumbled away attracting ducks and pigeons.
Zachary considered. “Maybe. I’ll see when I get home.”
“Hey,” Kiera said, wiggling her eyebrows and nudging his shoulder. “How’s it feel to be an adult?”
Zachary screwed up his face and stuck out his tongue. “Surprisingly unspecial.”
“Unspecial!” Yousef gasped. “How can eating chocolate with your best friends on the banks of a dirty river be unspecial?!”
This made Zachary laugh as Yousef’s antics always did. He had a soft, shy laugh that invariably sent Kiera off in her own snorting gafa he loved so much.
They stayed on the bank until the sun set when Sophia called demanding where they were and threatening to send George if they weren’t back in thirty minutes. Grumbling, they made their way to the estate where they were greeted by more parents and more food they didn’t want to eat. Zachary, a paper crown on his head and bright blue button with the number 18 pinned to his shirt, picked at his salmon and swallowed as much wine as he could before he was roped into playing charades and pictionary into the wee hours. His hand was shaken and his cheeks kissed till he felt dizzy, though that might have been the wine. He hadn’t spent a single minute by himself since he’d woken up at seven that morning, but he had never felt so lonely.