“What's with all this noise?" A groggy-looking Arrow Grain descended the stairs of the Adventurers Guild and into the main hall, scratching at her dishevelled purple hair with the look of someone who had only just woken up. "Hm? One Swing? What's with all these people?"
Noticing the elf approaching from down the stairs, One Swing gave the woman a short wave. Retracting his hand, he realized his wave wasn’t long enough, so he held his hand up again and left it there for a while longer, which seemed to visibly annoy the woman who seemed to realize why he had done that without him having to say it.
“Oh, Arrow Grain! I see you were asleep for quite a long time. It is already well past noon. I’m very impressed.”
The woman had clearly just woken up, and was descending the stairs from the second floor where the lodging for adventurers was.
“Yeah, yeah, shut it,” the woman snapped back. “I was celebrating my first successful quest as a D-Rank last night and might’ve drunk too much. Had to escort a merchant caravan to Zwieback and back again. It was pretty chill. What about you? What’s with all these people around?”
Coming to stand by One Swing who was seated at a table, the woman gestured around to all the people lined up in front of him, trailing through the room and onto the street outside the doors of the guild hall. To make room for all the people, One Swing had seated himself at a table nearby a window so that the one-hundred-and-sixty-four foot sword slung across his shoulder trailed fifty meters outside into the city, and did not take up space in the Adventurers Guild.
“Oh, I’m putting together a party for a quest,” One Swing replied. “There is length in numbers, after all.”
“A party, huh? Why’s there so many people lining up just to join you though? What’s the quest?”
“It seems word of Queen Kokoro la Peppyseed’s support and guidance of the quest to defeat Cayenne of the Wrathful Flame and Harbinger of Hellfire and Destruction has gotten around to all the other adventurers. As she put me in charge of the quest, I must be the one to pick from the potential candidates on who will join me.”
“I feel like I’m missing a lot of context! What the hell happened while I was asleep?!”
Catching Arrow Grain up on the current situation, the elf listened to the story with stunned silence. She gave her eyes a sleepy blink after One Swing's story was finished.
“Well, now I feel like an idiot for celebrating my D-Rank quest! You’re already C-Rank and you got the Queen’s support to fight a literal dragon? You should be the one celebrating, not me!”
One Swing smirked.
“I will celebrate once the dragon is slain. For now, I must form a party. Would you care to help me choose from the long line of adventurers present?”
“Huh? Ah, sure, if you want.” Pulling up a chair to the table, Arrow took a seat next to One Swing, facing the line of adventurers in front of the two.
“Next one, please.” One Swing gestured for the next in line to approach the table.
Stepping forward, a large man clad in thick metal armour stood in front of them, a large shield at his back and a sword across his hip. Pulling something from his belt, he took a small plate of violet metal and slid it across the table. It was his adventurer's ID.
Arrow took the ID and glanced her groggy eyes across it. “Huh? This guy is… He’s an S-Rank! This guy is the real deal! An actual S-Rank! I’ve never even seen one before!”
The man gave a sharp nod. “I would be honoured to travel with the man chosen by Queen Kokoro to lead this quest. My shield is yours, and no harm will come to you or anybody in your party as long as I still stand. I swear it.”
“He seems super strong and reliable too! I would definitely pick this guy! He’s a literal S-Rank adventurer! It’s a no-brainer!”
One Swing pondered the elf’s words, before directing a question to the armoured S-Rank in front of him, gesturing to the sword at his hip. “What kind of weapon do you use?”
“Hm? This?” The man tugged at the sword across his belt. “This is a shortsword forged by the finest—”
“I’m sorry but you won’t be a good fit for this party.” One Swing waved the man away before calling down the line. “Next one, please!”
“Why?!” Arrow complained from by his side. “Why did you turn him away?! He was an S-Rank! He was literally the best adventurer you could’ve hoped for!”
One Swing shook his head. “His weapon was—”
“Yes, yes, it was a shortsword, right?! A short sword. I get it, I get it! But just because I get the reason, doesn’t make it any less stupid!”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Approaching the table next, a woman in leather armour stood before them, a thick pair of goggles on her face. Pulling out her own ID, she slid it towards the two.
Taking it, Arrow glanced over the silver plate of metal. “B-Rank, huh? That’s not bad. What kind of weapon do you use?”
“Ah, I use a staff,” the woman replied, gesturing to the wooden stick across her back.
“Oh! That’s great! There’s no way you’d have an issue with that, right?” Arrow exclaimed, giving One Swing a nudge.
One Swing shook his head. “The staff is a fine weapon. Very lengthy.”
“Great! Ah, but…” Arrow continued. “You said that dragon was Cursed, right? A wooden staff doesn’t seem like a great choice against a fire-breathing monster.”
The goggled woman nodded back. "I understand, but I'm hoping I could be a great supporting role. You see, I also have a Curse. For as long as I can remember, I've been completely resistant to fire. No matter how hot the flame, I don't get burnt, and heat has no effect on me whatsoever. It's never really proven useful before, but when I heard this monster breathed fire, I thought it would be a way for me to put my Curse to good use."
“This is perfect!” Arrow exclaimed. “She’s the perfect support for a monster that fights with fire! You’d be an idiot not to pick her! She was basically made for this quest! And I love those goggles by the way, girl! Super fashionable!”
“Thanks.” The woman gave a giggle before adjusting the goggles on her face. “They’re actually prescription goggles. You see, I’m really short-sighted so I need them to—”
“I’m sorry but you won’t be a good fit for this party.” One Swing waved the goggled woman away before calling down the line. “Next one, please!”
“Why?!” Arrow complained, shaking the seated man by the shoulder. “Why are you like this?! Did that long hair of yours accidentally grow backwards into your skull?! Or is that stupid scarf cutting off the oxygen to that stupid brain?!”
The hours ticked by as One Swing and Arrow made their way down the line. Adventurer after adventurer made their way up to the table, only to be turned away for reasons One Swing deemed important, yet only seemed to annoy the small elf by his side. Soon, there was nobody left in the guild hall, aside from the two seated at the table.
Arriving from outside, Barbacoa entered the hall, a scowl on her furry face. Though her expression made her appear to be in a foul mood, those who knew the woman knew that that was just how she looked.
“Ordered supplies,” she said, making her way up to the table. “They’ll be ready tomorrow morning. How did the recruitment go?”
One Swing shook his head. “Poorly. There wasn’t anybody who would be able to help us on this quest.”
Slamming her hands on the table, Arrow shot up from her chair to yell down at the seated man. “Yes there was! There was a whole bunch! But this idiot turned them all away for the sake of some stupid gimmick I don’t even understand! What the hell does ‘becoming the longest’ even mean?! I still don’t know and it’s pissing me off!”
One Swing tutted at the woman disappointingly. “You know, that short temper of yours is very unflattering.”
“Screw you!”
Another pair of footsteps arrived at the door, drawing the group’s attention.
“Oh? If it isn’t One Swing! I thought I’d find you in here!” Stepping up to the table, a familiar face shot the seated swordsman a wide grin, before flicking a forked tongue up above their scaly lips and licking at a yellow-slitted eyeball. “And Arrow too, huh? What the hell have you guys been up to?”
One Swing smirked.
“Unagi Eye-Licker!” Standing from his seat, One Swing gave the man a bow. “It is good to see you again!”
It was Unagi Eye-Licker, the axe-wielding lizardman that had been a part of the party to exterminate the den of goblins near Bredkrum. He was a man who had One Swing's respect.
“If you knew I was here,” One Swing continued. “You must have heard about the quest to slay the dragon, Cayenne of the Wrathful Flame and Harbinger of Hellfire and Destruction.”
“Cayenne of the—? What the hell is that?” Eye-Licker licked up at his eye in puzzlement. “No, I was in the grocers down the street and found the end of your sword sticking through the wall. Figured I’d follow it and say hello. What’s this about a dragon?”
Eye-Licker’s forked tongue hung outside his mouth in astonishment as he was told all about the fire-breathing dragon and how the Queen herself put One Swing in charge of handling it.
“What the hell?” the scaly man exclaimed. “That’s crazy! Well, if you need a tag-along, I’ll be happy to help out!”
One Swing smirked. “Very well, Unagi Eye-Licker. Welcome to the party.”
Arrow narrowed her eyes at him in response. “Huh? Just like that? You turned all those other guys down but the guy who licks his own eyeball is fine? I mean, I guess he is a B-Rank, but why him?”
Eye-Licker frowned. “Hey, what the hell is your problem with me? You were like this back in Bredkrum too.”
“It’s obviously the eye-licking thing! That’s obviously my problem with you!”
“Unagi Eye-Licker is a man that has my respect,” One Swing answered, shooting the woman a stern glare, and causing the lizardman to give a bashful lick of his eyeball. “Why wouldn’t I recruit him?”
“I—I see… Sorry…” Arrow conceded, looking rather guilty about her rude outburst. “I thought it was for a stupid reason again, but I guess not. My bad…”
One Swing nodded. "Yes, Unagi Eye-Licker is a man who has my respect. Ever since I was a young boy, I would often watch the stray cats that roamed the streets, and I always lamented the fact that my own tongue was not long enough to reach my nostrils like theirs were able to. The fact that Eye-Licker’s length can reach even his eyeball is a feat worthy of respect.”
“It was a stupid reason after all! Of course it was! Give me back the sincere apology I gave you!”
With Bloody Knuckle Barbacoa and Unagi Eye-Licker as the only two members currently joining the party, One Swing stood from the table and put his back to the window. It was the way he came in, so it was the way he had to leave as well. It was the only way his one-hundred-and-sixty-four-foot sword would be able to fit into the guild hall without the fifty-meter blade taking up a significant amount of room, after all.
As One Swing climbed back out the window, his colossal blade slung across his shoulder, Arrow gave a questioning frown. “Where are you going?”
“There is a man I would like to accompany me on this quest,” he answered, now standing outside the window. “I am going to find him.”
“And who is that?”
One Swing smirked.