A LONE WOLF’S CRY
CHAPTER 1
‘WHO ARE YOU?’
In a town somewhere in US, lives Jae. A normal boy attending college, it’s his second year in Architecture and the Coordinator of their year. Jae, is in fact, a push-over ever since he was a child, he couldn’t say no to anyone because he’s scared that everyone will hate him and leave him if he said that he didn’t want to do it. He has trust issues and anxiety, he fears everything, be it love or hate, be it commitment and promises. He lives alone in a rental house with his roommate that became his best friend, Miguel, a beautiful male alpha breed. He’s been roommates with Jar ever since their 2nd year of high school, they are close and he’s the only one Jae can ever turn to when he really needs it.
Then let’s travel back all the way to Korea’s Joseon Period. Hyeon is a secret child from the King named Sunjong or also known as Emperor Yunghui and his mistress. As the mistress, Hyeon’s mother, didn’t want to take Hyeon with him, she abandoned Hyeon at the palace and the Emperor had no choice but to take care of him. Since Hyeon is also a candidate for the next throne of the King because he also has a royal blood flowing through his veins. Hyeon never once saw his mother nor had an affectionate relationship with his father. The only people in his life were the old ladies that were assigned to take care of him and the guards and cooks in the palace. His half-brother, Yeong, always hated the fact that he was even alive, so he bullied Hyeon when he had time and threw words that traumatized Hyeon for life. But nevertheless, Hyeon grew into such a fine young man, always happy, forgiving, always wanting to help, and he never takes anything for granted. But he has a wish that he tells the moon every night, a wish that he begged the Gods to make a reality, a wish that he had always been hoping for to come true, and that is to find love.
[ Jae’s POV ]
I’m tired already and I haven’t even got up from my bed.
I sit up, face reaity, and brush my teeth. After I washed my teeth, I went to the kitchen to find breakfast.
“Oh, you’re up early Jae. Doesn’t your class start until 2 in the afternoon?” Miguel greets me.
Only if I didn’t have a new part-time job I wouldn’t be waking up like this. But of course I can’t say that to Miguel, he will be mad again if he knew I had another part-time job.
“Yeah, I have to meet up with some of my group mates so we can discuss our project,” I lied to Miguel.
“That’s new, I never thought your group mates would help you,” Miguel smirked.
That’s right, I know I’m a pushover but I just can’t tell people ‘no’. It scares me to say that.
“Fuck you Migs,” I said as I chuckled from his sarcastic joke.
He laughed then took his toast. He patted my head before going to his room and start his gaming livestream. Since high school, Miguel liked video games and up until now he loves them. He manages to get extra money by live streaming from night up until morning, only if I had the confidence to do that.
I get ready for work and watered my cactus first before leaving the house. I love taking care of cactuses, they have their spikes to protect them and they don’t even need a lot of water. But the cactus itself is very soft and vulnerable. The only difference between me and a cactus is that I can’t protect myself.
My new part-time job is in a convenience store so it’s pretty easy, but it’s always hard dealing with rude costumers. I don’t like them, no one does.
“Hey,”
It was the other part-timer. I didn’t know it was the end of my shift already.
“Yo, did you eat lunch?” I asked her
“I didn’t, but it’s okay though I don’t have the time anyways, I’m just gonna eat instant noodles or something,”
She looked like she needed real food.
I stopped her from going to the bathroom,
“I’m taking your shift today,” I said with a cool expression on my face, “you have to eat real food, go to a restaurant or something,”
She stood there, shocked. She was looking and staring at my face and I don’t even know what’s going through this girl’s mind, honestly.
“Oh my gosh, Jae are you an actual angel?”
She said, her face was telling me that she was serious about what she said.
I pushed her out of the store and waved her goodbye as she happily walks, on her way to get lunch.
I finished my shift and I head home, it was already night and I didn’t even go to school today since I volunteered to take that girl’s shift.
Oh, I still don’t know her name.
I was shocked. I mean- how can I not know her name and she knows mine?
How could I even take her shift when I didn’t know her name?
As I was walking, on my way back home, I was near the park when someone shouted.
“Babyyyy~”
Someone shouted with such a cute but disgusting voice. It was Miguel.
“I told you not to embarrass me in public like that dude,”
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I said, with an annoyed tone.
We both looked at each others faces and chuckled it off.
“Megan told me you weren’t at school the whole day,” Miguel suddenly brought up.
“Yeah,” I paused for a bit, “class was boring so I didn’t want to go.”
Miguel just stared at me, he was like that for a good three minutes when he finally replied.
“You know,” he said then paused. It was like he was hesitating to tell me something.
“What?’ I said
“You have a habit of putting your hands in your pockets when you lie,” he told me while staring at the stars in the sky.
“What if I don’t have pockets though? And stop staring at the sky that’s dangerous you might trip while walking.”
I chuckled, because he actually listened to me and kept his eyes on the road.
“You always have pockets, even your shorts have pockets in them. But when you don’t, you always wear a hoodie because all your hoodies have pockets in front.”
He stopped for a bit.
“I know it’s like a safe place for you. Whenever you put your hands in them you kinda stop being shaky and nervous and stuff.”
I was amazed by how he knew that little detail about me. Maybe it’s because we’ve lived together by so long that he begins to notice things like this.
“Yeah, well you always make pancakes when you’re in a bad mood and flood the pancake with maple syrup and butter whenever you’re sad,” I told him in a proud tone.
He laughed slightly while shaking his head. Miguel has always been like that, he cares for everyone, he cares for everything. Maybe he really is an angel sent from above.
“But baby, it’s because I just really like pancakes with oozing maple syrup and a lot of butter,” he said with a lovingly tone. It wasn’t fir for him, imagine an almost six footer man acting like a girlfriend and linking arms with you when you’re only five foot something close to six. It’s weird.
“No migz, pancakes aren’t supposed to be wet like that, it’s gross,” I told him while I chuckled. I knew he was going to get offended by what I said about his dear pancakes.
“And for the last time, stop calling me baby in public, I’m gonna beat your ass up.”
He was taken back by what I said, or at least that was the expression he had on his face. But he suddenly smirked. And said, “Baby that’s too kinky I didn’t know you like it that way.”
We got home and I didn’t even bother for dinner. I was tired from dealing with costumers, my social battery ran out.
I need to recharge.
[ END OF Jae’s POV]
◌◌◌◌
December 3. It was cold since it’s winter, but that wasn’t the only reason why chills traveled through Miguel’s spine.
It was Jae’s birthday and Miguel wanted to make everything right for Jae’s birthday, he got everything planned out. They agreed to celebrate in on the evening since Miguel had to do emergency work in their campus. He was looking forward to this. He was excited.
“Baby?” He said as soon as he got home, he got cake and party hats for Ja although Miguel knew that Jae would be exasperated. But it was quiet, he felt uneasy. Miguel then tried calling our for Jae again while taking off his shoes and hanging his coat somewhere. Jae still didn’t answer.
Maybe he was in his room.
But even before Miguel could say Jae’s name again when entering the room, he fell to the ground. The same time as his hope fell to great despair too.
Jae was truly in his room. Hanging with a rope tied to his neck connecting to the ceiling while his very pale skin almost turned blue. Miguel knew he had to do something fast, he called 911 while taking a chair and putting Jae’s body down. He tried to search for a pule. And yes, Jae has a pulse, but it was too weak.
But what even happened?
DECEMBER 1
It’s a normal day for everyone. Jae had already quit his part time jobs, and he was ready. I don’t know if excitement is the right word but he was looking forward in this plan that he has. Because why not? It’s a win for him, everything will be done. No more pain.
As the day progresses, while Jae is in the kitchen eating his cereal laughing at the comedy show that he’s watching in his phone, Miguel felt happy too. Miguel felt like, maybe this is a turn of events, that finally Jae is able to be truly happy without even faking it. That maybe, this was a start of something nice.
“Baby, I’m gonna go out to get grocery, do you want me to buy anything?”
Miguel asks Jae, but no. He wasn’t going out just to buy groceries, he was out to get Jae’s birthday gift since it’s close. Miguel was thinking of getting something very special since this may really be the first birthday that Jae is going to be very happy about. It was special for Miguel too, because he was with Jae through it all. And now that he feels that Jae is happy, he feels relieved, and he wants to make this special
“Please buy chocolate chips for me, be careful on your way there and back home,” the way Jae smiled was magical, words can’t even be used to describe the feeling that Miguel had felt as he saw that genuine smile from Jae. It felt so warm that it was home.
It was a weirdly good day for the both of them. Jae didn’t even scold Miguel not to call him baby. As Miguel walks through the mall, he saw this beautiful ring. It was a simple one, with three diamond, two smaller ones that the one in the middle was big. Miguel pictured Jae wearing that and refusing to take it and asking what the price is. He giggled by the thought of that. He felt home again.
He entered the store and asked for that specific ring as soon as the sales lady talked. The lady then asked him what size the finger is, and now this is where most love story scenes come, where he doesn’t know the size of the finger and he has to try and measure it and it ends up being so fluffy and romantic. But no, Miguel already knew, of course he did.
But this isn’t a love story. This isn’t their love story.
Miguel had asked the lady to wrap the precious gift beautifully, as it was a very special moment for them both. In Miguel’s mind, this was the fresh start they needed.
He was very excited to go home knowing that someone was waiting for him. This was a new feeling, but he couldn’t even think of anything else, he was just happy for the both of them.
Miguel got home and cooked spaghetti, Jae loves spaghetti more than anything else. Jae was always complaining to Miguel because he wouldn’t cook for him, it was a lot of work, cooking in general. Miguel was an okay cook, but spaghetti has been always hard for him to do, and no one knew why. Maybe it was meant to be like that.
“Why’d you cook my favorite today?”
Jae asked as he stuffed his mouth full of spaghetti, “You don’t like cooking spaghetti right?”
“Just because, I just felt like cooking it today,” Miguel responded, he paused for a bit, “by the way, you seem so happy theses days, anything good happened?’
“Yeah, it’s just that, I’m looking forward to celebrating my birthday. I’m excited.”
And there was that smile again. It was so genuinely warm that it felt like it wasn’t even real. Miguel was of course, shocked as Jae told him that. Jae never cared about his birthday, he never cared about anything except other people besides himself.
DECEMBER 2
It wasn’t a dream. Miguel is still feeling the happiness coming from Jae. He was wondering why Jae was looking forward to his birthday so much, but it made him so happy to know that. Although it was still a little weird for Miguel, he just went with the flow.
They played video games together, which was a first because Jae didn’t like playing with Miguel since he was bad at games. They laughed, giggled.
They ate in a restaurant near them, which was also a first since Jae doesn’t like going to places like that. Jae was the type to just order take away food or something like that.
It was truly a remarkable and great day.
DECEMBER 3
“Good morning, and happy birthday to you my one and only husband,” Miguel greeted Jae energetically as soon as Jae came out of his room.
“Thank you,” he giggled “when are going to stop that silly act though.”
Jae said with his sexy morning voice. He was still smiling, genuinely, being brighter than the sun,
When it actually becomes real.
Miguel thought as to reply to Jae, but it was too early to say that. Miguel planned to tell Jae how he truly felt this day, and how he is so in love with Jae that he could go crazy.
“Oh right, baby I hate to do this but I have something urgent to take care of at school, I think I’ll be back by evening, I’m so sorry,” Miguel said with a sad voice while putting a plate of not-soaked-with-butter-and-maple-syrup pancake he had made.
“Hmm? That actually works for me though, I actually have things to do so evening’s just fine,” as Jae stuffed his mouth with the home made pancake, Miguel still felt bad but he also felt relieved.
NOW BACK TO THE PRESENT
This was what I was looking forward to, good bye.
A note said, crumpled up because it was between the rope and Jae’s neck.
It was for Miguel, it was specifically for Miguel. And Miguel knew.
It might not look like much but that one sentence was enough for Miguel to understand and connect every single detail and point that was made. He understood.
It was like telling Miguel to take care of himself.
It was Jae telling Miguel not to dwell on this.
That it’s alright.
And now the pain Jae had always felt is now gone.
Miguel understood that.
As the involuntary tears come streaming down his face, Miguel wasn’t about to give up. Jae wasn’t dead yet, and so was Miguel’s hope. Miguel had heard the ambulance outside their house. As he clenched down to the ring and love the he was supposed to give Jae tonight, he needed to stay strong first. For the both of them.
- CHAPTER 1 end -