"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences."
Robert G. Ingersoll
When my entire family died within two years-my mother, father, and sister-I heard a sympathetic whisper behind me that I would be next.
The people around me watched me with barely concealed curiosity.
I could read fear and pity and impatience in their eyes: Well? How much longer do we have to wait?
When all reasonable, in their opinion, deadlines had passed, I again became the subject of gossip.
But this time the gossip was accompanied by stares. Why did everyone die and I didn't?
Am I a witch? Isn't it dangerous to communicate with me?
Some voiced their doubts behind my back, while others said outright that something was wrong with my family.
They even said that what was wrong was a generic curse.
Oh, that generic curse!
It's easier to blame all the problems and misfortunes on that. It's not my fault, it's my great-grandmother who did something wrong a long time ago, and now I'm paying for her sins.
Of course, there is some truth in these words, and we do have to deal with the consequences of our ancestors' actions (or inactions) by paying old debts.
But if by curse we mean hereditary behavior, where from generation to generation members of a family repeat the fate of their predecessors, making the same mistakes without learning from them, then I would agree.
In my opinion, there is nothing mystical about the "generic curse.
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Men in such families drink, go to jail, commit suicide, or die foolishly. Often, all these misfortunes are caused by each other.
Women simply accept their fate and carry their cross, and when they can no longer bear it, they get divorced or become widows.
Can we expect a breakthrough from children who have seen no other model of behavior? Yes.
But we must realize that many of them will unconsciously repeat the path of their parents.
It is difficult to turn away from the well-trodden path. Mere desire is not enough, you need to seriously dig into yourself, your family history, pull out a lot of garbage, junk and other unpleasant things, and having realized all this, do what no one in the family before you has done - allow yourself to be yourself, to live as you want - in your own way.
My ancestors never lived their own lives.
The tyrants did nothing but stick their noses into other people's business and were always dissatisfied with everyone. The victims were afraid of offending, upsetting, or disappointing anyone. Elders dominated the young, parents dominated their children, and wives dominated their husbands. No one considered the feelings and desires of others.
It was easier to intimidate, pressure, or even trample on the "free thinker" in order not to shake and collapse the established system once and for all: you should live the way your grandfathers and great-grandfathers lived.
But it is possible to live differently! But not everyone in his right mind can dare to do so.
It is like coming out of the "eye" of a hurricane. Inside the hurricane, it is always calm and quiet, but as soon as you leave the imaginary shelter, you encounter a squall.
It's scary to be the first to step into the unknown. Who knows what awaits you there, if anything at all. You can't live the old way, but you don't know the new ways yet, so you look for guarantees that someone will support you, encourage you, say: "Go ahead, don't be afraid! You were born under a lucky star!" But there are no guarantees.
Can magic help you along the way?
That depends on what you mean by it. Have you ever noticed that when things go well in life, we tend to praise ourselves, and when things go badly, we tend to blame others?
We believe that it is "spoilage", "the evil eye", that "it is written in our destiny to suffer" - and only some magic ritual can save us. Meanwhile, magic is not outside, it is inside us.
Freedom of choice, a sincere desire for change, a belief in ourselves - this is what opens doors and leads to the fulfillment of any dream, even the most daring.
But what about the generic curse? Does it exist? Can it be mitigated or avoided?
To find out, I had to delve into my past, unravel the complex tangle of family relationships, look at them in a new way. That's how this book was born.
To be continued