Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there existed a lion, a witch, and a very audacious bitch.
As for who this bitch may be, it was none other than me!
How did I find myself in this rather peculiar situation you may wonder. Well, you see, I asked God for too much when I requested to be isekai’d to yonder.
All I wanted was God’s harem, the power to kill god, and an out of this world smoking hot bod.
Yet for some strange reason, he sent me to face a legion.
I don’t understand what went wrong, before I knew it I was sent off by God’s curse-filled song.
Captured and slung into a dungeon with this lion and witch. I now bitch and moan to my fellow companions out in this ungodly backyard ditch.
We bicker and fight for all that is right, both during the day and in the night. Even the soldiers got tired of us and fled from our sight, It is in fact quite to my delight.
Some may think of me as bother, but I like to think that I’m like their father. They should look up to me and bow down, for I am their true god in this wee small little town.
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Bend over backward and fall down to your knees, I’m about slap you with some of dees.
Dees what you may ask, well it’s none other than dees nuts of course. The most audacious modern Shakespearean rapper will knock you all out with nothin but brute force.
“Yo, lion my man, what you doin today? I wanna have another rap battle, is dat okay?”
“You think you can rap, but you ain’t got shit on me. I’m the king of the jungle, which you will soon see. Your rhymes are lame, and so is your name. You like to call yourself the Shakespearean rapper, well in my eyes you’re just a weak-ass little white cracker. And as for you witch hiding in the corner, you ain’t got shit on me you’re nothing more than a foreigner.”
“What was that you stupid punk-ass little lion? Would you like me to reveal your true name is Brian? I’m a witch who can rap, I can turn you into nothing but bones with a single zap. You want to mess with the best when you can’t even contest? I’ll teach you a lesson once and for all, you’ll be cryin and whinin when I turn you into a Paul. Pfft Brian. I’m sighin.”
The two of them turned to me, and I knew it was meant to be.
I was next to go and keep up this flow.
“Yo witch you may got some skill, but that ain’t enough. I’m the true messiah who will call you out on yo cheap bluff. I will spit these facts in your face and turn you into a disgrace. You’ll be cryin in depression when I send you into a recession. Yo magic ain’t worth shit in these times, why else would you be stuck in this slammer spitting yo shit rhymes for pennies and dimes. You hit rock bottom and got nowhere to go, just admit it already you dumbass stupid hoe. Getting roasted and toasted in here with us. Just accept yo washed up you dumb little huss.”