“You need a distraction, don’t you?” Frain asked. They’d been traveling for three days, sleeping at the side of the road for two nights. “And a bath.” Now they prepared for the third night.

Shallin nodded. “Not as badly as you do.” At moments of idle conversation like this, the child’s death replayed itself in her mind. Sarcasm served as her distraction. “Did you tussle with a skunk on that last hunt?”

Dinner the past two nights had been fresh rabbits that Frain had hunted. His success always eluded her, so she often set up their camp instead just as she did now. He prepared to go hunting again. Frain laughed.

“We both tussled it together. You’re the kinky one.”

“Shut up,” she said unamused. “What do you have in mind?” Shallin had moped each day, their conversations coming only when Frain initiated them. Her unusual reticence had not gone unnoticed by her companion.

“I don’t like the slump you’re in,” he said. “I want to take your mind off of it.”

You don’t need to fix me, Frain, she thought. We clearly don’t see eye to eye these days.

“I have been taking my mind off it.”

“You’ve been turning us ever so slightly to the east. Don’t pretend I haven’t noticed.”

“You haven’t stopped me,” she said. Shallin had no desire to get home to the Briarthorne Estate, and return to scrubbing dishes. Drudgery annoyed her, and Lady Desdemona’s nonchalant disdain irked her.

“You think Desi would approve? Or Lord Elanreu?”

“The Light illuminates my path,” she said, unsure if she meant to be snippy or sincere. “It’s a distraction I’m willing to make for myself.”

“I meant to distract you from your distraction,” Frain said, gesturing to the eastern horizon. “Desi’s been pretty firm about what she wants from you. From us.” One of the horses whinnied.

“No. I think you mean to dissuade, not distract.”

“Words, words, words. You know who’s in charge here, anyway.”

Shallin crossed her arms under her breasts and glared at him. “Nominally it’s you,” she declared.

“Nominally,” Frain scoffed. “And actually, it’s-”

“You as well,” she returned. “Actually.”

“Then let’s just go home. No distractions from either of us,” he suggested. “Tomorrow we’ll course correct. Desi will wonder what’s keeping us.”

“You’re so compelling, Frain. Sure, we’ll do that,” she said, the sarcasm in her tone obvious to both of them.

He sighed as he helped her set up their small lean-to. “Desi looks out for you. So do I.”

That was something she never could understand. Lady Desdemona, for all her faults, seemed to genuinely care for her. Shallin went out of her way to make life hell for the woman. Perhaps Lord Elanreu kept his sister tamed. She had no idea.

“Why did she send me on this Cull then? Any of the other trainees could have handled this. I don’t need a handler either. What’s the purpose of this?” She slugged him. “You’re just here to keep an eye on me.”

“Ow!” Frain mocked playfully. “How’d you get so smart and strong?”

“Certainly not from man-babies like you. Maybe it’s my job to handle you instead.” Shallin sat and rubbed her head. “Pellago is four day’s ride east. It’s close enough to receive news of any incursions but far enough from the border to avoid them.”

“For now.”

“For now,” she conceded. “Desi keeps me out of the loop. Distracted,” she said pointedly. “We’re this close, Frain.” Shallin looked up at him. “Don’t make me plead.”

“But I like it when you beg,” he joked. She tossed dirt at his face. “Hey, stop that!”

“Now you’re the one begging,” she said, her smug grin just as playful. It isn’t like he’ll stop me anyway. The Light does illuminate my path.

“Yeah, well I do like to be able to see,” he said, pawing dirt out of his eyes. “Won’t do me any good if I can’t protect you.”

“I’m more capable than you are,” she said. She didn’t lie about that. At home, they sparred daily on the practice field. Her agility put him out of his reach often, and she tagged him efficiently and dangerously. Shallin ached to test her lethality here in the field, but too many times they’d had to summon the Red for healing. Just need to keep it professional out here.

“Perhaps,” he partially conceded. “Desi needs you for more than that though.”

“She just wants me to suffer,” she replied, her mirth fading to misery again. “I’m tired of being under her yoke.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“Well, we’re not. Not out here anyway.” Frain glanced from her to the horizon. “Pellago? I’ve never heard of it.”

He’s coming around, I guess. “It’s not large. That’s why it gets ignored.”

“Not by you,” he said. Frain sat next to her, using his flint and striker to get their scavenged tinder lit. Their modest campfire would cook their meal but not keep them warm for long.

“Someone has to keep tabs on things. Desi sure doesn’t.”

“You’re smart enough to give her more credit, Shall. Desi knows plenty and doesn’t ignore everything like you think.”

“She doesn’t care about the incursions.”

“Why do you think that should be her concern? She runs a school, not a spy circle. She trains us for the Culls, not war.”

“We are warriors nonetheless, Frain.” She sighed. “What odd loops have brought us to this point?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Frain set more logs in the fire and watched as the flames caught. “You’re being a bit philosophical today.”

“Maybe I just want to be.” She tossed some twigs in and watched them curl and burn. “They give us purpose on a whim, and tell us it’s for the best.”

“Here we go again.” Frain gave an exaggerated sigh. She recognized the mockery.

“I’m serious, Frain. The Vigil has always trained to fight. It comes with the territory. It’s how we overcome the elemental forces against the Light. But we’ve won. There aren’t shamans like there used to be. It’s a silent war we’ve waged for the Council, yet we have nothing to show for it. Instead of success and retirement, we get repurposed. Redirected.”

“And you disagree with our direction.”

“You’re the one who wanted to distract me,” she said. “We can barely field new Cadres. We’re poorly spent on guard duty.”

“Didn’t someone tell me they applied to work for the Council at the Atrium?” Frain smiled at her, his words both pointed yet jovial. “It’s like you’ve embraced it.”

“We can do so much more with our gifts.” Shallin hugged her knees. “Pellago might have news. Or answers. Something.” She knew it to be a long shot. If Frain didn’t buy her reasoning, she’d go alone. He’d follow of course, but he would do it reluctantly.

“Do you think we’ll accomplish anything other than make Desi more mad at you?”

“Nothing I do makes her happy. What difference does it make?” I almost have him, she thought. Shallin could see him considering it.

“We’re already overdue. I’m sure the dishes have been stacking up in your absence.”

“Fuck you. The novices take care of that.”

“Only because you’re gone.” He wasn’t wrong, and it annoyed her that he was right.

“All the more reason to stay away. So. Pellago?”

Frain stood and brushed off his trousers. “I need to go hunt or this fire will serve no purpose except to waste wood.”

“I’m serious.” His reluctance infuriated her. Shallin clenched her fists, balled under her arms as they crossed her chest. I knew it was coming, that’s the worst part.

“So am I.”

“Sack up, Frain.” Calling his manhood into question will just drive him away. That’s what I want, isn’t it?

“I don’t know what she wants, Shall. Are you here to learn maturity? Responsibility? Dependability? I don’t know. But it’s my ass if I don’t bring you home. Pellago isn’t home.”

“Home is wherever the fuck we are at any given moment, Frain. We don’t get to have that sort of luxury. Not for long. Home isn’t that Light-forsaken school of hers. Pellago is just a few days away,” she pleaded. “I’m not going to the border. Just some place with news.”

“You don’t know that,” he said, shouldering his bow and quiver. “What I do know is we’re in for a hell of an ass-chewing if we take too long getting back.”

“Place the blame on me. I’ll take the punishment.”

“This trip is part of your punishment in the first place.” The reminder stung. She didn’t need that.

“Then it’s just adding to my list. It’s on me. I promise.” Shallin got up and looked at him. “Which is more useful? Posting yourself at guard duty back home, or learning something of a threat I know will get to us sooner or later? You know there’s merit to this. You know it.”

“Maybe it’s the fire she sees in you, Shallin. The untempered, raw ferocity that drives you. She has her reasons.” Frain stared through her, his eyes lacking focus. His unkempt beard grew long after weeks on the road. She didn’t dislike it. “Where did this flame come from?”

“Now you’re the one being philosophical,” she said. “Well?”

“I’m hungry.”

“You’re dodging.”

“You stink. Go take a bath.”

“Grraah!” she exclaimed, frustrated.

“Look, we can talk about it in the morning. If I don’t go now I won’t catch anything. I’ll have to range far as it is. I’m sure we’ve scared away anything close.”

“Why won’t you admit I might be right?”

“There’s nothing to gain from it. I want to be done with this trip, not make it longer.” With that, he departed. Shallin let him go.

I need to make him see. How do I do that? The first sun began to dip below the horizon. Nightfall would come soon after the second vanished. I’ll just go. I know he’ll follow me anyway. She made up her mind.

Frain remained unflappable, disregarding her concerns and insisting upon their return. The potential to learn more of the incursions being so close at hand spurred her to action instead. When he’d been gone long enough for the first sun to set, she hurriedly packed her things.

It’s just a few days. He can catch me tomorrow. If he’d have agreed, she could have slept well on it and left happily in the morning. Shallin checked on the dried meat they carried with them for emergencies, took a small parcel of it, and packed the rest of her belongings. He could pack the lean-to alone.

She saddled her horse and looked wistfully at the camp. I do need a distraction, but what he thinks I want isn’t what I need. This is. If he can’t see that, it’s on him now.

“Sorry buddy,” she said to the horse. “You thought you could rest, didn’t you? I thought so too.” Shallin mounted up and set off, eager to put some distance between herself and the camp. Darkness would be long set by the time he returned, and she would be far, far away.

Hearing any news for herself meant more to her than just reports she had to sneak a glance at back home. In Pellago, she could make a difference or lend a hand, even in small ways. In a kitchen she didn’t have that option. This will all come down on me anyway. I’ll do the best I can with the time I’m stealing. If Desi doesn’t like it, she can go fuck herself.