My name is Nagano Hazuki. A typical high schooler living in Tokyo, Japan.

…sigh…well, I’m really just a typical high schooler though.

I’m just an introvert who doesn’t stand out in class. Since I don’t have anything else to do, I’m pretty much asleep most of the time. My grades are pretty good since I study what I have to.

I love listening to music and reading books, but I’m not interested in video games like typical Otakus and shut-ins. It’s not like I’ve met any otakus or shut-ins to begin with since I don’t have any friends though. Well, most of my knowledge is from the books I read and not from real conversations.

My classmates even thought I was mute during elementary school since I barely talked to anyone. Never had a girlfriend or even a best friend for that matter; there were some people who I could call friends, but after a while, they got bored of me. It’s not like I’ve never idealized having friends or being in a relationship, it’s just that I haven’t taken any action to gain these things.

I rarely initiate conversations and never join any of the social groups around me. Since I find all this a hassle, I just tend to stay away from all that trouble-inducing actions. My parents don’t care about me, they mostly treat me as if I don’t exist. So, I don’t have a close relationship with them either.

Now that I think about it, I’ve never really experienced love and affection in any form, have I?

Well, I also tried to kill myself a few times. But when it comes down to it, I seem to be afraid of dying, so I give up at the last minute. I might have done a few flashy things like standing on the rooftop railings or carrying around a bunch of pills hoping that someone might ask me what was wrong with me or show a little bit of concern for me…

But in the end, no one noticed, or they purposely ignored me thinking that I wouldn’t go through with it. Well, indeed, I wasn't planning on killing myself at the time.

…sigh…currently I’m just lying at my desk without doing anything. It would be nice if someone started bullying me… But since they straight up ignore me, it’s suffocating sometimes.

…sigh…I want someone to pat me on the head and tell me that everything’s alright and that I’d find happiness or some other crap later. Anything’s fine so can someone please give me some attention?! I wonder if I should put up a board and ask if I could talk to them. or I could give them some money and tell them to listen to my worries or something…

…sigh…what am I even thinking? Let’s just go home…

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I pick up my bag and walk out of the classroom. The class was still going on, but no one cared about what I did. The teacher, students…and everyone around me. They just looked at who it was, and the moment they noticed who I was, they turned back and did their work.

I left the school walked through the streets and reached a children’s park where I would always sit on the swing to think about all my worries.

…sigh…I don’t wanna go home…

Even if my parents were home, I doubt they’d talk to me. I would just have to go into that room and sleep all alone. I just don’t want to take this anymore. I sit on the swing and start swinging back and forth. A few kids were playing in the park, their parents looking at them with warm gazes.

I could feel my chest tighten at the loving sight in front of me.

I hate this…

I hated watching these kinds of families. It was suffocating looking at them, but I didn’t leave. I thought that maybe if I stayed here, they might ask me what was wrong, and that they’d show some concern towards me…but that never happened.

No matter how long I waited, no one even bothered to talk to me. They didn’t want to involve themselves with someone like me.

I thought that I was used to this…

I thought that I was used to being ignored…I thought that being alone was the obvious thing for me…

But I was still seeking affection. I was still seeking attention. I wanted someone to at least acknowledge me as a human being…

But that never happened…

I got up from my seat and walked a few meters away from the park, I could see the bridge a few meters away. I would usually come here at night to look at the night lights in the city. It was always beautiful, but at the same time, I felt how different my life was compared to the people in this city.

I knew that there were people in worse situations than mine, but it was still painful. I always thought what would happen if I were to hate everyone. Maybe then I’d feel a little bit better.

I hold the railings and look at the beautiful city around me. The bright lights which light up the night sky. And the noise of vehicles passing all around me. I could feel the night breeze brushing through my hair.

I get on the railing and stand on it to feel the breeze around me. I take in a deep breath and let out a sigh.

…sigh…It feels like the perfect time to die…

“H-hey!”

I could hear someone calling out to me from behind. I turn around to look at who it is. It was an office worker who usually passes through here since I come here now and then I’ve seen him passing through.

He dropped his bag and dashed towards me at full speed.

Uh…what’s he doing…?

And that’s when I realized that I was standing on the railings of a bridge.

Ah…

The moment the man was a few steps away from me…he tripped. He tripped on his leg and ended up wrapping his arms around my feet. I lost my balance and started falling behind.

Ah…I think this is it for me…

But for some reason, I couldn’t help but smile at the man in front of me. I met his eyes; he was horrified at what had happened. I slowly fell into the water…

…it was freezing, and I didn’t even have the energy to swim my way out of there. It felt like I was being pulled into the water. But…

Even though my mouth was wide open, and water was entering my lungs. I didn’t suffocate in any way, rather…it felt so liberating. I closed my eyes…

I could feel my consciousness fading away…aaah…so this is how I’m gonna die huh…