:08/16/2251:

9:00 AM

Queen McBeal's speech was streaming into the Employee's Conference room at the DDO Lobby. Alley had gathered a good fifty of us into the room to watch the live projection from Anthera. I recognized Gray quickly enough, his severe eyes and tense lips immediately recognizable despite the 0% variance avatar that looked even older than I had imagined. The other two guys I couldn't for the life of me find in the thick press of the crowd and narrow lines of the little cushy folding chairs that had been brought in for the show. It was a mass of sights and smells and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why it was so important to watch this Livestream together if Alley was just going to talk over the audio feed the entire time. 

"As you can see," Alley said, "McBeal is rallying her troops and trying to encourage more PeeCees to grind her faction. She's using the reputation of our Undercity and the fact that 92% of our faction belongs to Monstrous Races as a way to generalize your standard Fantasy morality tropes, and doing a fairly decent job of it too." She took a breath and glanced around the audience, very pointedly fixing certain of us with her stare as she went on, "Especially considering the fact that a good number of rather infamous PeeKays are in our faction and use Undercity as a refuge..."

In the background, ironically, I could hear the whisper of McBeal's voice say just then, "...Belgorath... the Bloody! Olga, the Wicked! Peeceval, the Slightly Peeved! These... creatures... have hounded our good people to our very gates and slaughtered entire peaceful cities of new, dow-eyed Elves!"

Alley seemed to pause to let the words on the screen be heard, probably for effect. I wasn't sure if it had the effect on us that she wanted, though, considering I heard a few people's stifled snickers in the background.

"You may think this is funny," our briefing continued, "but this kind of race war is exactly what is stifling our new players simply trying to pick up their starter abilities and thinning the number of qualified candidates we've been receiving. Do you know that just the other day, an intern quit on the spot when he found out he would be assigned to us... on the spot!" She paused, fixing (apparently, mostly the same employees as before) us with her hard eyes. She turned toward me and nodded, "Magpie, would you please stand up?"

I hesitantly rose to my feet. It seemed like every eye in the room turned to stare at me as I rose and I suddenly became very aware of my long, scrawny arms and my baggy, unaltered jumpsuit. I could hear the Queen's excited voice in the background, trying to concentrate on it rather than the heat that I could suddenly feel rising to my cheeks, "We will not let these attacks upon our people go unanswered! No, it is time for our peaceful people to rise up, to drive back the darkness below, and they shall..."

But, too soon, Alley's voice cut through the projected recording, "Magpie, you are the most recent intern to be assigned to us. Can you tell us," her voice softened, as if trying to project an aura of warmth and understanding, "just what impression of us did you have coming in? What was your first thought when you found out you had been assigned to support the Undercity?"

I hesitated, pressing my tongue against the roof of my mouth for a moment as I thought, "Um..." I said, "I'm not sure that really matters. I don't really think..."

Alley cut me off, her tone, somehow, even warmer and more comforting, "No please, I want you to tell us. There are," her voice turned hard for a moment as she continued, edging on steel, "some people who I think need to hear what you have to say. Please?"

I swallowed loudly and glanced around, wondering if I should lie or tell the truth. Finally, after seeing the smirks on the strange faces around me, the hard eyes turned to listen to what I had to say, I knew what I had to do. I closed my eyes as I started, not wanting to look at Alley's face, "Well... you see... I grew up watching pirated streams of DDO - every spare moment I had, I spent poring over the archived streams from people courageous enough to stream their lives. Willing to deal with all the comments I now know you had to bear in order to bring a little bit of joy, a little bit of hope, into my life and the lives of people like me."

Alley's eyes shone, triumphant, and glanced more confidently now around the room. But I wasn't done, not yet. I swallowed again and continued, "It was Olga's dark commentary that gave me the strength to blow off my bullies, in school, with a sneer. It was Belgorath's merciless ax that let me hope that someday, somehow, I too could stand up to the world and carve a bloody furrow through everyone that I hated. It was Peeceval's blundering attempts at murder that kept me laughing even as I wanted nothing more than get down on my knees and pray to every old god for death. They kept me going through dark, dark times, and if McBeal doesn't like it then I say we carve our way through her prissy, racist soldiers and..." My voice had grown loud, passionate, and I found myself almost screaming as Alley finally waived her hand and muted my voice.

"Ok... well, that was unexpected." She seemed to blink, confused, as her hand still hovered, questioningly in the air from activating the mute function. "All right, Magpie, you may again be seated. Thank you for your... candor." The men and women around me then did not even try to hide the sounds of their snickers. Blushing again, I stood there with my mouth open for a few more moments, and awkwardly sat back down in my seat.

She rested her face in her hands for a moment, and I almost felt bad for what I had said. Almost, until the lady next to me patted my shoulder and shot me a smile out the corner of her eye. Collecting herself, finally, Alley shook her head and started again. "Anyway, look, I know for those of you with streamer contracts I can't tell you what you can and can't do with your playtime. It's your income and your decision. I would just ask that you please just tone down the violence. Instead of PeeKaying for a few weeks, I don't know, go save some puppies or something."

She looked resigned, no doubt in no small part due to the sea of small, hidden smirks that she saw when she looked at her audience. "I'm going to level with you guys. McBeal is trying to start a war here. And with our current alliances and population levels, I'll tell you right now it's not a war we are going to be able to win. You guys may be tough, I won't argue with you there, but it's not one versus one or even one versus five. It's going to be ten to one odds - and while your vain asses are respawning our city will be sacked and our portal will be camped. There won't be anywhere for us to even go. And what will it do to your subscriber numbers then, I would ask you when your streams are nothing but spawn camps and Insanity debuffs?"

Huffing, she paused for a moment before she waved her hand, "You all just let that sink in. I'm going to my office to try to prepare my transfer applications for when this all hits the fan. I would suggest that you think about what I said. Unless you want to be on goblin duty for the next five years while the Good Queen McBeal turns our city into her outhouse."

A sudden, looming silence filled the room as Alley walked out. It seemed like everyone was afraid of taking the first breath, being the first one to talk, as an awkward quiet billowed in her wake. Finally, I coughed and jumped... just a hair... as I discovered that I I could hear the sound of my own voice. "Oh," I said, "I guess I can talk again." I had thought I had been whispering, but the room hesitated for another moment, letting the echos of my words play against the projected sounds of the vid feed before fifty voices broke out in sudden, riotous laughter.

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The woman next to me was older, looking to be in her 40s with gentle, kind eyes. She turned to me as the crowd roared to life now the silence had been broken, talking and gossiping and laughing as if nothing had happened. "Magpie, right?" she said, holding out her hand, "Name's Olga. And, I can tell you, it's really nice to meet you."

I blinked, eyes quickly pulling up her Status Text, disbelieving. Yet, there in front of me were the clear, blocky words, 'Olga the Unbroken.' 

I paused still, forcibly closing my mouth and wiping away the drool with the back of my hand. I had dreamed of meeting her for years, from the first time I had watched one of her videos and heard her teasing tagline, 'Teabag this, motherfucker.' I had watched her sneak up behind The Righteous Few during the first Stellato Worldboss encounter, and slaughter the raid team to a man with riotious commentary. I had seen her crying in a pub as the ugliest whore in the room had rejected her, and I watched pensively as she stood at the door, sword in hand, defending it from the Town Constable's little moral crusade. 

But there, with the woman's aged eyes smiling at me warmly, all I could manage to say was, "Shit. Fuck my life, it's actually you."

She grinned and leaned in, patting my shoulder with a conspiratorial whisper as she giggled. "Well, that can be arranged I guess. But I'd usually buy you dinner first."

I'd like to say that I responded with some witty bit about frog legs or something. Or even that I had smiled and acted like I had gotten the joke. But, unfortunately, that wasn't what actually happened. Instead, I blushed deeper than I think I ever had before in my life and looked down, stunned. Managing nothing wittier than a mousy, "Um... ok..." as my eyes suddenly were very interested in the threads of my fraying jumpsuit. 

Still, she laughed good-naturedly at me, as if it were the funniest thing that she had heard all day and patted me on the back. Sadly, I didn't get another word in before the people on the side of her managed to capture her attention, swallowing her into some conversation about the prices of black steel in Galdenheim. But still, her attention had warmed me and, embarrassed as I was, I felt like I could jump back in the game, die a thousand more deaths, and still have this ear to ear grin that seemed to have frozen across my face.

A few minutes later, Gray found me and pulled me aside, the collected group of employees slowly starting to disappear. I was glad for the chance to talk to him here, as this place seemed different... calmer, I guess... than anything in game. "Where are the others?" I immediately asked, curious to meet them and hoping to catch up on what had been happening over the last few days.

Gray shook his head at me, knowingly it seemed, as he whispered, "Blink has something of a... pass. If it has to do with McBeal, I think you will tend to find him conveniently absent. And Steve... well trying to tell Steve that a boring meeting like this one is mandatory is like trying to tell a cat that it needs a bath. Alley's tried it a few times but... I think she has learned not to mess with it at this point. He shows up to his shifts, though, so I guess that's good enough."

I nodded, wanting to press him for details, but his ancient eyes seemed to freeze me in place as he continued, "That was quite a stunt you pulled back there," his tone was deadly serious, but I could see the tiny edges of a smile hiding at the corners of his lips, "I'm not sure our Alley here will appreciate the way you stole her show back there."

I shrugged, honestly looking regretful, "Well, what was I supposed to say?" I looked at him, obviously at a loss, "She kind of put me on the spot in there."

The smile broke free then, and he too patted my shoulder as he laughed, "Aye, that she did, I suppose, that she did. Though I'm surprised our little band of misfits here has been making such an impression on kids like you. I didn't think there was anyone in here with a subscriber count that high."

I nodded, considering, as the thought finally hit me. And judging by the knowing look in his eye, I had a feeling he had been leading me to it this entire time, "Wait... do you think the AI sorted me with you because all my pirated videos are on file somewhere? They knew I was a complete, loser fangirl over some of these people?" I was incredulous and horrified, for good reason. The whole idea of pirated streams was that they were untraceable, appearing like standard children's shows to any local watchdog systems. If the algorithms knew... then how come they hadn't stopped me. Wouldn't they have had to based on the terms of guardianship and the laws of Human Authority? The more I thought about it, the less sense it made to my head and, for Gray's part, he seemed content to watch me work through it, an ironic smirk on his face.

"I dunno, little bird. But it does seem pretty convenient, doesn't it? That out of billions of players and millions of Collaborative Employees, you would wind up here, don't you think? In this little underground for little rogue players with us?"

"No," I said, thoughts spinning in place, "No, it has to be some kind of psychological assessment thing. I was under close mental scrutiny my entire life. And when those records transferred here, it would have been a matter of course for them to sort me with the people I was most psychically compatible with. Which ended up being similar enough to the heroes I had been worshiping, trying to emulate, for my entire life. Because I spent so much time watching them my opinions and reactions developed to be very much like their own." Hearing it, listening to the words out loud, it started to make sense again - the wheels of my mind righting themselves and starting to once again fit back into place. "Ya, has to be. Right?"

As I looked at him, hopeful, he simply shook his head and sighed, "If you say so kid, if you say so. Makes sense I guess."

I nodded again, somewhat confused by his reaction, but figuring that the matter was settled. "So, anyway, did you know that the entire time I was sitting next to Olga? Olga?" I said her name twice, hoping that it would convey my meaning. "I think she even flirted with me! Me!" My voice rose with excitement and a swelling pride. I guess my enthusiasm was contagious, though because I saw that he was subtly smiling.

"Ya, I saw. I'm glad you had a chance to talk with her." He paused, "She turns forty-five next week you know." And... there it went. The smile had well and truly left his face as he finished his words.

Confused, I looked at him questingly, "Oh ya? Do you think I should like, buy her a present or something." I smirked, blushing and laughing a bit to myself definitely, "Or do you think I should be her present?" 

He stared at me, his expression dead, for just a moment, before again I seemed to win him over and I saw a crack in his frown. "No, no. I don't think that would be a good idea, after all." He chuckled, low, almost imperceptibly, but I had heard it, "That woman would break you, wait for you to respawn, and then break you again for the fun of it."

I grinned at him, triumphant, as I jibed at him, "I dunno. Might be worth it..." I shot him my best impression of a leer and, finally, I heard an honest laugh from his lips.

"All right girl, all right. You win. We have work again tonight, though, seems like Alley's stepping up the guard patrols near the city. You have enough to do to keep you busy?"

I huffed at him, playfully, "Work, work, work. I barely even know you guys and you all just abandon me. What's a girl to think?" I emphasized the word, not because I was actually offended, but because I wanted to see if I could catch him off guard again. If it had come from Blink or Steve, it would have been one thing, but coming from a man well into his hundreds... I didn't really feel I had the right to complain if he wanted to call me a girl. Hell, he could tell me I was a baby in diapers and, I figured, I would just have to stand there nodding right back at him for all of that.

It didn't work though, and he just reached out and tussled my hair, "Take care of yourself, ya hear? I should have tomorrow off, at least. Probably not Steve or Blink - some of us aren't all exhibitionist streamers and actually have to work for a living."

I nodded. "Oh, I will, I will. Go on then, break a leg. Or a hip..." He frowned at me as he turned to go, but I could hear his chuckling whisper echo back to me as his body faded from my view.

I spent the rest of the morning watching streams of the speech and listening to the online commentary. It seemed like a certain population of players had gotten pretty riled up after it, mostly the do-gooder light side little roleplay paladin types that I could never stand, with their perfect hair and perfect teeth. But it was clear that sooner rather than later there were going to be a new swath of excursions into the city. And, although I was already a bit burned out on ability farming, I made sure to spend long hours that afternoon under the grim eye of my fencing trainer.