How long as it been?
I don't know when I awoke, but here I am, blind, deaf, and every other sense missing. A profound sense of hopelessness was washed over me time and time again. I have gone over everything in my mind, played over every scenario of my life, and even tried 'quizzing' myself on every detail I had learned or experienced. I always end up playing out my final memories, the haziest of them all it feels. Why are my last moments and sensations before this time in nothingness so hazy. I can't remember much but a searing pain around my neck and an intense feeling of panic and fear.
At first I thought I might have been in a coma, but I think it's unlikely because I don't feel trapped. I don't feel anything. It's an alien experience. There is no sense of body. It's not like my hearing isn't working, or eyes aren't open, it's like they never existed in the first place.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Damn it. It's back
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That's all it does.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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It's like an intrusive thought, suddenly it's in my mind.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK OVER YOUR YELLING!” I shout in my head.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It never helps, but I am getting better at tuning it out. At least it's better th-
WAHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH, HEEEEEEELP!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Damn it all. I never had these two together. Never together!
HEEELP MEEEEEEEEE! IT HUUUUUUUURTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The 'mindfulness' excercises I am a fan of does help with the screams, but it only turns them into dull screams... Focus on nothing...
IT HUUURTS SOOOOO MUCH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I acknowledge these thoughts, and let them pass through
GWAHHH
AHHHHHH
It's ok....... and now lets pass.
*Ding*
*Ding*
*Ding*
*Ding*
*Ding*
*Ding*
This again? Where the hell am I? Is this Hell, or some kind of purgatory? Am I supposed to get some kind of cleansing action going on? All I am getting is this endurance test of screams.....