On the hill of the highest mountain the wind blew hard and fierce. It was as if the wind itself was trying to blow away the earth of the mountain in order to discover the treasure hidden deep inside.

The mountain itself stood there defying the wind.

It would eventually reveal its secrets.

7 billion years later….

Two martial warriors faced each other with such enmity that the surrounding creatures in the area fled. One would think that it was their inner power that scared the living poop out of the native animals but in reality it was because they were so damned nosy. It was so noisy that they stood up and left in a huff.

“Die Edmond! That beast’s core is mine!” A man with long flowing hair that graced the back of his thighs waved his ice blue sword toward the other person. Two ice wind glimmers shimmered past his opponent - it seems that his opponent stood in one spot as his image flickered in and out.

“I will never let the ice wind clan get the beast core.” The man with short hair and and golden hem silk robe look disdainfully at the man shouting at him. He lifted up his right hand and twitch all five of his fingers in an odd manner that that lightning spouted from each digit. It created a writhing mass of yellow lines that the eyes could barely follow.

“Like your Lightning cloud clan is any better than mine, we all know that you cheated at the Star Gathering Competition last season. If it weren’t for your clan’s deceitful ways our clan would have been first.” Three ice blade shot out from man, each one missed their target and loud booms proceeded shortly after and the surrounding earth was carved with scars.

“You lie! Our honourable clan members and our rising star Xhi Zen Lee would never cheat.”

“Hmph you don’t even know when you have been deceived by your own clan members.”

“We are honourable!”

“You have been lied to! Dishonourable!”

“We are honourable!”

Oh my god why won’t they shut up? I just want to digest my salmon in peace. Is it too much to ask for a moment of silence while in food coma mode. I mean it’s not my fault that I happened to find a piece of salmon lying on the ground right next to these pathetic humans. Why can’t they fight somewhere else? Bah humans! They always tend fight over stupid things - the only problem is that they are so noisy.

Poof

I teleported to the golden man’s shoulder.

“Umm hello?” I interjected with a low murmur I pawed his face in polite manner.

“Gahh!” Three scratch marks marred his cheeks. As I thought, I am very polite, at least I did not rip off his head.

“Gahh” the man call out again in pain. “Awwoo”

I better be polite and copy their native greeting as well. “Gahhhawooo to you too!” I screamed back and floated back a few paces.

“You broke through my restriction array?!”

“What restriction array?” I floated towards them head boofing every sparkling symbol in the air. “Yes! One hundred percent score.”

“...” An awkward silence filled the air as the two martial cultivators looked at each other.

“How in the nine heavens did that beast escape?”

“What beast? Where? Where?” I queried.

He pointed his index finger right at my forehead.

How rude, he refered me as the ‘beast’.

“Pfft. So much for the lighting cloud’s unbreakable beast seal.” The ice wind clan cultivator laughed so hard that he was struck by a few fragments of yellow lightning.

“Hey don’t laugh at me ice fart. Don’t you know, if this beast can teleport while our Martial soul fluctuations affect the area it might have heritage for an SS class ability. I might be able to get an SS class ability.”

It was then that I had a sudden feeling that the stupid thing the humans were fighting over was infact me.

Lighting punches were thrusted out along with two hundred streams of lightning. I bobbed in and out narrowly avoided the man’s fists.

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“Oh my god, why can’t I hit this cat? Turtle thing?”

“Turtlecat,” I corrected, “I am a turtlecat, not a turtle thing. ” I nodded solemnly.

The lightning caused the fur on my head stick out a like rounded dandelion.

It is a pity, if only I had marshmallows I might be able to roast them. Sadly, I have to say, it has been over 3000 years since my memories of being a human.

I started waving my tail at the lightning guy, go make that fluffy as well.

“Stop waving your arse at me, you are not giving me any face.”

"Well, of course it's not my face, my face is not facing you at all.”

“What kind of freakish beast are you”

I did not bother answering but inside my head I immediately thought.

Imagine two perfect stars with different powers merging together. Well that is what my body is now. If a fusion of two perfect creatures in the same body were to merge it would be like that.

Well the only way to achieve this is to merge two perfect god class creatures: a turtle and a cat.

Why a turtle you may ask? Turtles live for an incredibly long time and a cat has nine lives. Longevity to the max. To others, some may say freak but I would say that I am one of a kind.

Bahh it’s too hard to explain to these kind of idiots.

“Seven stars seal!” A circle of bright lights spun weaving in and out. The lines criss crossed and formed at one smaller circle hoop.

“Ooh shiny, so shiny! Make more sprinkles!” I couldn’t help but blurt out. The sparkles really do bring out my inner child. My head was not big enough and some of the light lasers striked at the pants of the snow man causing to go into flame. He really should wear tighter pants, instead of that skirt robe thing.

“Frost coffin!”

“Snow cones!” I shouted with glee. “But it tastes like death.” I pouted after swallowing an icy cloud. Residual ice fog from the attack hit the lightning dude’s cloak causing it to frost up to his bum. He frowned at the ice practitioner.

Both the cultivators pulled a sour face as if they were sucking sour candies. Where is my sour candy? How rude! It serves you right for trying to surround me.

“Lin Feng, let's put aside our clans grudges and subdue the beast first.”

“Agreed.”

They stood together and I stared at them in their fighting stance.

They stared back at me.

Neither of us moving a step forward or backwards.

They floated to the right, so I floated to the left. Ha! I won’t let you sneak up on me.

Perhaps I should show them my greatest martial skill!

Poof

I appeared between the two of them and concentrated. Let them see the horror of criss crossed eyes.

Poof

“Oh patriarch Ding and my seven ancestors. What is this?” The lightning practitioner coughed up blood.

The ice practitioner gagged and tried to vomit while keeping his cool appearance. I think he failed in the end. “Please kill me now.”

“Haa! Take this ‘Salmon Fart’”

A yellow and blue light flew towards the western sky. The path they flew zig zagged in an unorderly fashion it was as if they were drunk.

Only with the power of salmon can I make this devastating wind attack. It also helps being half reptilian and half mammal, only I can cultivate this amazing skill.

It was after ten minutes of resting that I comprehending something quite important.

Energy, fish power … Energy…

Did I leave the gas stove on 20,000 years ago. Crap the power bill will be expensive. Ahh crap why is it that my recollection of past history is so choppy. Ugh my head hurts.

And with that I decided to leave the mortal realm and head back to the heavenly realm.

Umm what was the way to get there again?