Everything was blurry. For a second, she didn’t know who or where she was. She didn’t know how she got in that bed, or how she got in those clothes. Then, everything was processed. She was in her room. The thing above her was the ceiling. The thing on top of her was the duvet. The thing underneath her was the pillow and mattress. She could see everything clearly now within seconds of realizing she was unconscious for Goddess knew how long.
"Yurika! Are you okay?" Wen's teary face came to her view, then everything that had happened, everything that she had done, the destruction and all started to come back to her.
"Oh, my Goddess! What have I done?! Is everyone alright?!" She almost jumped out from her bed if Wen didn't stop her.
“Are you awake now?” Lucia voice poked her, made her noticed her presence. Yurika turned her eyes to meet Lucia’s.
“How are you feeling? Are you hurt anywhere?"
"Is that even matter? I don't really care if I am hurt! What concerned me more is the fact I might have hurt someone or kil--"
"Of course it matters! You made me worried so much Yuu!" Wen's screamed at her, "I thought we have lost you completely. I don't know what's going on. All I know you have some crazy power that somehow made you lost control. I don't know what to do, to save you or to stop you no matter what is the cost."
Yurika's head dropped, didn't dare to look at her best friend's worried and angry face. Yurika tried to move her body around, “...I think I am fine. A little bit sluggish but not hurt. Sorry that I made you worry Wen.”
"Sorry just won't cut it! I- "
"Okay, you need to cool down Wen. Yurika needs her rest and being angry at her won't help that," Lucia calmly stopped her nag, "you should take care that wound of yours too."
Lucia grabbed her arm and started to escort her toward to door.
"I am fine! It's just some scratches and bruises," Wen retorted as she tried to free her arm away from Lucia's hold, but to her surprise, Lucia has a strength no normal little girl would ever have. Lucia ignored her protest, dragged and pushed her out from the room.
"Sorry I need to talk privately with Yurika, so please be a good girl, and do as I say?" Lucia said as she winked at her wittily.
"No. wait!" Wen's objection was useless the moment the door was closed in front of her face.
"Argh, I hate that Zanj!" She stomped her feet and walked away.
***
"Now, we can talk peacefully, "said Lucia, she took a seat next to Yurika, "I am glad you are not hurt, You’ve been unconscious for 3 hours, I was started to worry.”
“3 hours? It felt much longer than that,” Yurika muttered, "Lucia, did I hurt anyone or worst... kil--"
"Casualties are unavoidable and as much I wish I could just say that it wasn't your fault, you know that's not possible," she straightly cut her sentences.
Yurika gulped hard and looked down, "Sorry..."
"Stop saying sorry! Sorry won't bring back the dead!" For the first time, Lucia raised her voice at the girl, "sorry won't fix the past. It might mend the pain a bit but it won't do more than that! So instead of saying sorry, do something, make a change!"
Yurika lips quivered, she almost said the word again but she stopped it. She bit her lips and held the sob that started to build up. Crying wouldn't help either. She had lost control of the power and hurt innocent people. It was her fault that she let her anger consumed her and control her.
Lucia's face softened as she watched the grim and pain on Yurika face.
"You are the master of Fetuu La Rossa, it's time for you to learn to control its power. Control it, don't let it control you. Most importantly, do what you are fated to do. Bring the world balance back before it's too late. That's the only way you redeemed yourself."
Yurika raised her head and gazed at the raven-haired girl. Her eyes filled with mixed emotions but she decided to say nothing.
“Anyway, I will let you rest for now,” Lucia stood up from the chair she was sitting on, “tomorrow we should have a meeting with the Ursa team and I will deliver to everyone about the Goddess mission for all of you.”
“For all of us?”
“Yeah, we have the full team now. So it’s time to embark to the real mission to save this world.”
“What?! Wait a minute, full team? Are you saying…?!” Yurika eyes widen in shock.
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“Yeah, you will need their strength to save the world as the chosen hero.” Lucia said calmly, “that’s one of the reasons they are given the blessing of eternal youth.”
Yurika stared at Lucia as if she’d just produced a monster out of her pocket. Her brain desperately trying to connect the dots, her eyes looked like it’s going to pop out for the sockets and her mouth gasped the word ‘No’ while her head shook helplessly.
---
She could see how her hands were trembling, a little blurry by the water on her eyes as she put her hand towards the door. She knew she couldn’t run from her fate. The world was in the dire state ever since the war between two Goddesses. The battle between humans, Nisse, Builderat, and Beastia -a half beast and half human race- as the main supporter of Aine the Goddess of Life against Mimocry -a mysterious race that said has the ability of shape shifting-, Zwelich -humans that practice dark magic and worship Goddes Cailea- also magical beasts had turned the world upside down. When the two Goddesses disappeared suddenly, it did put the war on halt. But it didn’t mean their life back to normal. Losing their leaders didn’t really mean they sum back their previous peaceful era. Brigands, thieves, famine, and monsters roamed the lands, the climate changes, disasters happened all around the world and everyone knew that their world without their Goddesses had turned to time ticking bomb that could explode in anytime whether they were ready or not.
Back then when Zeke found her in the Azurlite, she didn’t really know how should she fulfill the unfinished fate that she had run away from her previous life, and neither did Zeke. So they decided to start from the basics; like back then when she was Eireen; that was to understand all the essences of each class and mastered them. She didn’t know how in the world she would save the world by doing so. And when Lucia finally shed some light for her real task in saving the world. That they need to bring back the Goddesses and the world balance, she didn’t really have any complaints. This time around she knew running away won’t solve the problem. But the fact she needed to work on it with them, the people of her past, put her in the spot where for once more she wished to run away and bestowed the duty to someone else.
She stared at the door for the longest time, her body felt hot and sweat started trickling down her neck and back. An invisible hand clasped over her mouth; an equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierces her heart, unloading in an instant. She felt her ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate her lungs. Her head was a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each pushing her mind into blackness. She wanted to run; she wished to.
“…ri-ka, Yurika?”
She could hear someone calling her name but it felt far away like she was no longer in the body that lies paralyzed in front of the meeting room door. The paralyzing hurt spread through her body like icy, liquid metal, she clenched her jaws tightly trying to stifle the growing scream that crept fast inside her chest. Her feet trembled, her legs twitched, fighting the impulse to just whirl around and sprint down the corridor; away from the door, the room.
“Yurika!!” a couple of hands was on her shoulders; shook her stiff strained body, trying to pull her out from her panic trance.
“I-I can’t do this…,” her voice sounded like a strangled dying mouse, her eyes darted everywhere; as if trying to find an opening to run away from the spot she was on.
“Yes you can,” Lucia said sternly, “you have to, the fate of the world rests on your shoulder!”
There were flashbacks rushing in her mind, dark memories, the sarcastic remarks, judging eyes, voices, and screams; dying screams; accelerating inside her head. She wanted them to slow down so she could breathe but they wouldn’t. Her breathing came in gasps, the place started to spin and she squatted on the floor, trying to get some kind of grip to make everything slow to something her body can cope. She felt so sick.
“You are not Eireen anymore remember that you are Yurika, no one in that room knew that you were her, but me and Z. And we will keep it that way. I don’t know what had happened between you and them back then but you are not the same person anymore. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
She could hear Lucia voice came and went like distance waves,
“Breathe Yurika, breathe!”
Lucia held both of Yurika clenched cold hands trying to send some warm to comfort, “Yurika look at me, focus on me. I will be there with you, you are not alone. I will stand by your side. You are not alone.”
The humming on her ears and the erratic beating of her heart slowly calmed down.
As her frantic breathing slowly became steady, her darting eyes were finally found an anchor on Lucia’s silver eyes. The very eyes that promising her safety, support and comfort.
“It’s all right. Everything will be fine, it will be okay,” Lucia soothing voice still hummed on her ears.
Yurika pulled herself away from the Zanj carefully. They went quiet, both with their own thoughts.
“I am sorry,” Lucia finally broke the silence, “I will postpone the meeting then. I am not going to force you. I have no idea how bad it was for you until I saw just now.”
“Y-you w-will ?” Yurika stumbling her words, her voice rasped and dry.
“I guess…,” Lucia looked at her sympathetically, “but…”
Lucia didn’t continue her words, but it was enough for Yurika. She knew where her words heading, she couldn’t postpone it much longer, the time ticking fast, the end of the world won’t wait for anyone; not even for the chosen heroine and her paranoia.
Yurika pulled herself up unsteadily but she finally stood up. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breathes and exhaled them in a few loud huffs.
“N-no needs to postpone, I-I can do this…,” she finally said as she turned her face looking at the raven-haired girl who was staring at her in a concerned look.
“Are you sure?”
Yurika shook her head fast, “I will never be sure… but I won’t let it stop me.”
Lucia gazed at the blonde, a few minutes ago she was on the floor ready to pass out because of the traumatizing past and now she stood with a new determination on her pale face. A tiny bud of admiration started to grow in her heart. Maybe just maybe…. She could trust humans again. She hated human because of what Gentar did, turning the world upside down. But this time maybe the world could be saved by one.
“Besides,” Yurika's voice broke her mind train, “I am different now, Eireen might have been always lonely but not Yurika. I have Z and Wenona on my side, there are also Ziggy, Ridelle and … you.”
A tiny smile rose up on Yurika’s face, it actually started to give some subtle colour on her almost colourless face. Lucia smiled back in response.
“Yes, you have me,” she answered, nodding in assurance.
“Thank you,” Yurika's smile grew wider. She then took a few more deep breaths and gave a soft pat on her cheeks, “okay let’s do this.”
With one last glance at the fuschia eyes girl, Lucia finally opened the door towards the meeting room where seven people sat in scattered seats waiting for them.