On the first day since Van Thac chose to go abroad to focus on music, he arrived in France.
Winter in Europe was cold and miserable, perhaps, it was a little similar to his mood at that moment. When he decided to go with K and M to Europe to pursue a musical career, his emotions were still strong and decisive. After a few hours on the plane, those emotions had subsided, and currently, new insecurities filled his chest.
Van Thac missed his parents and younger sister at home. He thought of his two friends, Luyen and Thuyen, at the Conservatory of Music. He sighed for the school days when his classmates and schoolmates occasionally called each other out to play video games or basketball. He thought about the cold girl sitting at the head of the table, Ngoc Lam...
After two months abroad, with the sudden change in the environment, the unfamiliar food, and his unfluent foreign language, Van Thac felt homesick. Sometimes, when an Asian family passes by, a familiar scent of food accidentally leaks through unfamiliar door frames or a familiar melody like the one from his father's radio could also make Thac cry.
Amald, the second son of the Moreau family, was 5 years older than Thac, had become a professional Clarinet artist, noticed his hidden feelings, often found some reasons to take him to meet many friends and reminded his father about Thac's issues. M, his mother, sometimes called him to have meals with the family. There, Van Thac first heard more stories about Ngoc Lam.
Amald first encountered Ngoc Lam when he was 13 years old. At that time, as the son of the powerful and talented Moreau couple, he demonstrated his talent from a young age, in addition to being in the age of puberty and rebellion. Amald lived very proudly and was a bit vainglorious of himself. One day, he even argued loudly with the instructor because he believed his way of playing was correct. The angry teacher picked up the phone to call his parents, who were abroad. K and M returned to see their son, but they did not say a word of reproach to him. They even praised the freshness of Amald's new style. Hearing his parents' encouragement, Amald became more negligent in his training, often finding ways to skip school. Until one day, K called him to announce that he had composed a piece of music based on his new technique and hoped he would play with the orchestra.
When Amald arrived, M suddenly announced that there would be a small contest between him and a girl named Ngoc Lam to win the solo position. Amald had known Ngoc Lam for a long time but had never competed with this girl because she became a professional player right after following his parents back to Europe. Ngoc Lam usually practised with him and his other two siblings, except for Fanny, who is only 3 years old. His older brother Edgar had been playing the violin professionally for several years, he was 2 years older than him, and 7 years older than Ngoc Lam. Edgar often praised this girl's talent with the violin. He had also seen her play the clarinet in videos taken from competitions, but Amald did not take this girl seriously. Because she kept studying under old, old-fashioned teachers, her technique and style were as old as theirs, and she could not be like him with a much more creative style. Moreover, this song was written by his father himself in his own style, and Amald was confident of winning.
He lost.
Unconvinced, he angrily accused Ngoc Lam that she must have been exposed to this style by K and M. Obviously, this was his creative work, yet a child like her blatantly stole it.
"No, I didn't!" Ngoc Lam immediately denied, "This style has been around for a long time, it's just that not many people followed it because it was not suitable for playing in classical orchestras."
The older artists in the orchestra also nodded in agreement. Amald stared wide-eyed, and his confidence over the past few days shattered.
It turned out that maybe at some point, Amald accidentally heard that strange style, but he didn't pay attention and accidentally let it enter his subconscious. The 'creative process was ultimately just the 'recreating process', something that already existed and had been dismissed for a long time.
“Did Dad and Ngoc Lam do that to teach me a lesson?” Amald disheartenedly asked M.
“Not really,” M replied, “He liked your idea for a new style, for real, so he called Ngoc Lam to help him. Some styles might not be well received at the era of their release, but that doesn't mean they can't become a new trend later."
“So you mean I was wrong?” Amald felt a bit unwilling.
“Your teacher constantly informed us about your truancy. Can you tell me what's the matter with you?” M looked at her son seriously.
Amald was speechless, not knowing how to answer M.
“I have known that you feel bored in his class. But the problem that we can see here is that our son skipped class without any effort in practice."
M looked at his son for a while, observed the changes on his face, and then continued.
“What you called a new style, we had noticed where it came from. But Dad hoped you would develop it yourself, from the old into something different and even newer. But it cannot be done in a month or two. It takes a lot of time, or it can take your whole life to create something new.”
"If you're still negligent in practising, how will you get the ability to create new things?"
Only then did Amald come to his senses. Ngoc Lam just did what he used to do - practice diligently. Thanks to her innate talent and effort, she grasped the essence of that style and developed a feeling for it. Meanwhile, he, who had the illusion of being a creator, neglected to practice, causing skills to atrophy, emotions and body not being able to synchronize with musical notes.
In the end, Ngoc Lam did not perform the new piece. K appointed an older Clarinetist in the orchestra to take the solo position. With the old style revived as Amald's idea, K received a lot of praise from critics. Amald agreed to return to the clarinet class and apologized to his teacher. After the class, he had to sit with Ngoc Lam and practice extremely attentively. Not much later, Ngoc Lam returned to the Conservatory and continued her career until tragedy occurred.
When Ngoc Lam retired, Amald became a professional artist at the age of 15, the same as Ngoc Lam now. When the girl left in pain, Amald didn't even have time to see her.
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Van Thac enrolled at an Academy of Arts in France. At this time, he realized that many classmates his age had become professional artists or were preparing to become professional artists. Their level is equivalent to Ngoc Lam's in the performance at school. When he sent the performance video to a Violin professor at the Academy because he seemed to know Ngoc Lam, this teacher pondered for a moment and then turned sharply to him.
“Boy, what did you do to anger Sapphire?”
Van Thac was stunned by the professor's question. It could be easily seen that in the past, Ngoc Lam always tried to reveal her full potential and was the fear of many artists. Even when she later tried to restrain herself, like when she competed with Fabian for the lead violinist position, she was still another horrible nightmare to him. Yet in a simple school-level performance like this, while adjusting herself to suit the level of two other players, Ngoc Lam suddenly raised her level to a professional one to overwhelm Van Thac. If she hadn't been provoked, there was no way she would have done that. With his experience working in music and his astuteness, the professor quickly realized where the problem was.
Van Thac nodded and told the professor the story of that day's performance. He listened carefully then spoke.
“You should focus on yourself more. Maybe Karsci also wanted you to reach the professional level that brought you here. For now, forget about that Sapphire girl and try to keep up with the students here first."
The learning process is really intense. Van Thac had to wake up early in the morning, practice, go to school, practice, finish classes, practice, do homework, and practice. In the early days, with Van Thac's average level, many students in his class refused to talk to him. They didn't understand why a student like him was placed in their school halfway like that. They thought he used tricks to receive special treatment.
Their coldness also hurt Van Thac for some time. Edgar knew about it, he visited him and talked to him. Although he knew that the only solution was to catch up with his classmates' level, Van Thac felt like something was separating him from everyone else.
“Sapphire, that girl,” Edgar exclaimed, “Why was she so harsh on you?”
“You should forget about Sapphire for now.”
Edgar also said the same thing to Van Thac.
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Luyen and Thuyen participated in the International Music Competition. One week before the day, the two bought tickets to fly to France to visit Van Thac. After several months of not seeing each other, the once simple and carefree friend, after several months in France, suddenly became reserved and reticent to the point that they could not understand. Asking about him also gave them a general understanding of the boy's situation: Not keeping up with the class level, no friends, homesickness, and even Ngoc Lam.
“Listen” Thuyen, as usual, spoke first.
“You -,” Luyen continued.
"Don't be afraid of your own shadow"
"Don't make a mountain out of the molehill"
“The story with Ngoc Lam has been going on for a long time.”
“Stop obsessing over yourself.”
The two sat down to analyze for Van Thac to understand that the problem in his mind was due to the fear from that performance. But at that time, his level was semi-professional. After a period of serious practice in an artistic environment like he had the past few months, there was no way his level could remain stagnant.
Feeling that verbal conversations were not enough, Luyen and Thuyen contacted the Moreau couple, asking for permission to take Van Thac to Austria with them.
Thanks to M's help, Luyen and Thuyen collected a long list of people who were Ngoc Lam's opponents six years ago. Luckily, there were a few people who would participate in the International Music Competition in the same batch as them. The triplet chose a young pianist, only a year older than them, to meet. They walked to a large hotel in the city and asked about that person, but the receptionist replied that she had gone out. Not knowing what to do, the three chose a chair in the lobby to wait.
Because they had just finished practising and went out to find the pianist, they still had their musical instruments with them. Luyen pulled out his clarinet, cleaned and wiped it while talking.
“Let's try to find a second person.”
“But that person is not staying at a hotel but at a villa in the suburbs,” Thuyen said.
Thac didn't say anything, he silently scrolled through the list. The reason for choosing this pianist is not only because she was close to their age, but also because she was one of Ngoc Lam's biggest rivals before retiring.
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“I wonder how she will react when she hears Ngoc Lam's name again?”
"Ngoc Lam?" A female voice resounded beside Thac, "I didn't hear wrong, right? You mentioned Ngoc Lam?”
All three boys turned to look. That was a girl with dark brown hair and green eyes. She spoke to them with a thick Italian accent. Based on the videos they had looked for, the three realized it was the person they were waiting for, Chiara the pianist.
“That's right, it's Ngoc Lam,” Thuyen responded quickly.
“Are you Chiara?” Thuyen asked.
“Yes, I am. What do you guys have to do with Ngoc Lam?”
“It's not me and this guy,” Luyen said, pointing to himself and Thuyen.
“But this guy,” Thuyen continued, pointing at Thac, “was once a classmate with Ngoc Lam.”
“He used to play trio with her in the school performance,” Luyen said.
“And was knocked out, and got obsessed.” Thuyen ended the story.
"Understood." Chiara said coldly, then pointed at the piano in the hotel lobby, "I won't answer any questions until I understand your levels. Tchaikovsky, piano concerto no.1, Andantino semplice. So?"
Music echoed in the hotel lobby. Surrounded by curious people. Because it was the time of the International Music Competition, there were many musicians and artists surrounding them, and some curious guests stayed to listen to the instrumentation of the four young people. Surely, in their minds, they were evaluating the qualifications of the four, but on their face, they were listening attentively and politely. When the music ended, everyone applauded the performance. Some people proactively came to talk to Luyen, Thuyen and Chiara, but no one stepped forward to ask about Van Thac.
"Don't be surprised." Chiara came to talk to Thac after he chose a quiet corner to sit alone. “They know your level is not good enough to achieve any success, so they did not come to talk to you. As for your other two friends, they're pretty good. The people who came to start a conversation were probably rivals who wanted to test the two of them out.”
After a few short conversations, Luyen and Thuyen also came to sit with Thac and Chiara.
“Miss Emmy introduced you to us,” Luyen said.
“Among Ngoc Lam's old rivals, you are one of the most successful.” Thuyen continued.
"That's right," Chiara admitted right away. “So Ngoc Lam, in Vietnam, is playing music again?”
“Not yet. She has been retiring.” Thac spoke.
“Your level is like this…” Chiara looked at Thac suspiciously “When were you defeated?”
“November last year,” Van Thac said honestly.
"Huh?" Chiara was even more sceptical.
“You should have a look at this first,” Luyen quickly gave the video of the performance to Chiara.
Like the violin professor, Chiara watched the performance until the end and then looked at Thac.
“What did you do to anger her?”
“Kind of.” Thac bowed his head and replied.
“With that ability of yours,” Chiara suddenly raised her voice, “you did infuriate her? Do you know how many idiots had to retire after competing against her?”
“What about retirement?” Luyen asked.
“What is it like?” Thuyen said.
“It's no big deal.” Chiara leaned back against the sofa, "All those stupid frogs in the well went to challenge Ngoc Lam. After being defeated, they were afraid and cowardly and did not dare to play music again. A bunch of failures in every aspect!”
“What about you?” Thac asked.
“What about me? Ha ha ha” Chiara faced up to the sky and laughed, “They also thought I would retire soon. Now look! I successfully reached the top 15 best pianists last year, while prodigy Ngoc Lam had to retire early. Damn it!"
Chiara recalled the past.
“It is true that day Ngoc Lam overthrew my title of child prodigy. She was too strong. Do they think I wasn't afraid? I Was! I was haunted for several months. The losers saw that I was defeated, so they flattered her, leaning on her to insult me. I hated her! I detested her! Really!”
Chiara called her assistant to bring her her favourite bottle of mineral water and then got back to talking.
“I was only eight years old at that time. I hated Ngoc Lam. But what could I do? K and M had her back, and their three children were also around her. I couldn't even touch a strand of her hair. But luckily, those bastards couldn't cling to her. She took them all down. One-by-one.”
"Idiots. Ha ha ha” the girl burst out laughing “A prodigy who is encouraged by adults to play at her best is like a flamethrower with a broken valve. No one could stay in the orchestra when Ngoc Lam appeared. She was the one who had never known what mercy was. At that time, I looked at the losers falling like autumn leaves and was extremely happy. It turns out I was the one who stayed until the end. It turns out that being defeated by Ngoc Lam is not such a terrible thing. I'm not the first and certainly not the last.”
“Once I got the hang of it, I practised like crazy. I think I was crazy. Every time we faced each other, I lost. But you know what?” Chiara leaned forward “I was always the second best. What do you Asians say? You are under one person, but you are over ten thousand people. Then, she retired. I was so mad. I practised non-stop, trying all kinds of styles. Yet she disappeared like that. Later, I continuously won first prize. Still, I didn't see her. It's been six years. Unbelievable. Yet she didn't bother to show up."
At this time, the assistant brought the bottle of mineral water Chiara requested. The girl took it and opened the lid to drink.
“After hearing about Ngoc Lam's retirement, have you ever considered finding her?” Thac asked.
"For what?" Chiara let out a refreshing breath after drinking the water. “It was her choice to disappear. It doesn't matter whether she's a prodigy or not. I only believe in the last person standing. I will be that person. Instead of looking at one person forever, I have dozens of people who are already stronger than me in the world, and a dozen more people ready to overthrow me in the next generation, like Ngoc Lam did that year. I can lose at any time. I must stand firm. I must move forward. I don't have time to think about someone who gave up. Do you understand? I have my own fight. I have no duty to save an opponent like her.”
All three boys listened silently to Chiara. Although her opinion was different from his, what she said made Thac think a lot.
“That doesn't mean I never thought about the day I would see her again.” Chiara's voice was now calming down, "If you are a music lovers and meet someone with such talent, you will naturally be attracted."
“The boy playing the trumpet,” Chiara tilted her chin towards Thac, “You also have potential. I kind of like your trumpet sound. But your mentality is so poor. It makes me annoyed. If you are defeated by her miserably like that, I have advice for you: Forget Ngoc Lam.”
This was the third time Thac had heard such advice. It all seemed to be pointing him towards an answer he didn't really want.
“Don't you understand?” Chiara was annoyed, “You want to help others, right? Do you want to be a saviour? Or what do you want? Having left everything at home to move to Europe to study, your spirit must be here. Do you understand?"
“Even the contestants just now didn't even bother to talk to you, how are you going to get her looking at you? A loser, who she defeated with less than 1/10 of her real talent continues to drag on the ground, unable to raise his head?”
Having finished speaking, Chiara leisurely left. All three boys felt like they had just experienced a tornado.
“Not bad.” Luyen laughed.
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That evening, Van Thac and two friends walked around the streets of Austria, chatting about all kinds of things in the world like they used to do in their homeland. Luyen and Thuyen brought many instant food packages. The three decided to eat pho together.
The appearance of Luyen and Thuyen helped Van Thac feel much more elated. He seriously looked back at everything that had happened to him. When he reflected on the attitudes people had towards him, Van Thac realized the true meaning behind their advice.
It turned out that it wasn't until he came to Europe that Van Thac realized how deep Ngoc Lam's impression was on people in the music world. Many of them still missed and waited for her, but at the same time, they still had to compete fiercely with other talents to set a place in their career.
Immediately, he bought a plane ticket to fly back to France early tomorrow morning. Luyen and Thuyen strongly supported that decision.
“Someday, we will play in an orchestra together.” Luyen patted his shoulder.
“We will stay in Europe shortly later. If you need anything, don't forget to call." Thuyen said.
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Silently but firmly, Van Thac's ability was increasingly improving. His classmates' views of him also gradually changed. By the end of the semester, Van Thac began to make new friends.
He proactively contacted Chiara, inviting her to perform a song together at the train station in Germany, close to the location of the Music competition in September she was about to participate in. Chiara was surprised by his progress. It turned out that he had also signed up for the competition in the trumpet category.
Sure enough, after the collaboration ended, many people took the initiative to talk to Van Thac. Chiara enjoyed looking at the scene before her eyes.
“What made you so confused about before? Looks like you've come to your senses now? Is it thanks to me? Ha ha ha.”
“I also want to thank you.” Van Thac politely replied.
“No need to say thank you,” Chiara waved her hand, “You've made progress, but you are still too far to win first prize. Do not be complacent, boy!"
After that, she left with the same whirlwind-like personality. Van Thac thought about himself again. His hands firmly grasped the trumpet. He could never give up no matter what obstacle he would face.
Another year passed, and Van Thac finished 11th grade, which was also the time he started winning prizes in major competitions and was a member of the Institute's Orchestra. Mr Woods announced that Ngoc Lam had also gone to Europe to study as a scholarship student.
The teacher asked him if he wanted to meet Ngoc Lam. He said no. He hadn't won any first prize yet.
In grade 12, Van Thac finally took the first prize. K and M welcome him to their orchestra. After two years of constant experiencing, cultivating, and thousands of hours of non-stop practice, he gradually received the recognition he had always wanted.
Luyen and Thuyen were accepted into the orchestra of K and M. All three participated in the orchestra conducted by M at the conductor contest the teacher had registered for.
M officially became a conductor in his third year in Europe.
Teacher Woods asked again if he wanted to meet Ngoc Lam.
Van Thac answered consistently that he was not good enough.
Van Thac graduated from grade 12 and was admitted directly to the University of the Institute.
He started his first solo tour.
In the winter of his fourth year, Van Thac decided to have a concert with M in the city where Ngoc Lam lived.
He gave Mr Woods the invitation ticket, asking him to give it to Ngoc Lam. He wanted the next reunion to be when Ngoc Lam witnessed his growth on stage.
Van Thac did not expect that their reunion would be on a busy street. Neither of them said a word but instinctively looked for each other.
Van Thac lost sight of Ngoc Lam when a horse carriage passed by and blocked his view. The orchestra assistant called him over and conveyed K's words telling him to return early to avoid getting sick in the cold weather.
Ngoc Lam came to see the performance as he expected. She was indifferent like she used to be. When the show ended, she didn't linger at all, nor did she go looking for him. Van Thac knew, and he didn't look for her either. He did his best. If his music could not make Ngoc Lam change her mind, he would have to respect that. Above all, he also had a career that he chose to leave his hometown to cling to distant Europe.
He wanted her to be back to music, but he also had to focus on himself.
Ngoc Lam returned to the Moreau family home at Christmas.
She played music in a country restaurant.
Among the old opponents who were active in the music world coming to meet Ngoc Lam, it was impossible not to include Chiara. The two had a breathtaking competition.
“You've gone backwards, haven't you?” Chiara asked, squinting her eyes.
"That's right. I'm trying to get back in form.” Ngoc Lam said.
"Great." Chiara said, “Remember not to be too slow!” and then went straight away.
When Van Thac heard the story, he laughed. That was so Chiara.
Ngoc Lam finally regained her form.
K said that was just hers before she retired, which was ten years ago. The whole orchestra was sweating at the same time. But some people couldn't hide their regret for the young girl. She endured violence from adults and missed ten years of her life. If the incident had not happened, they could not imagine how far she would have gone by now.
Ngoc Lam began to open up to people, including Van Thac. He began to notice her other facial expressions. The psychiatrist said she was in the process of self-healing to face the pain from ten years ago. She gradually learned how to seek help, learned how to express her emotions, and learned how to face the bullies.
Teacher Woods used the evidence of Thanh's previous actions and his lies about Minh and Ngoc Lam to ask that man not to cause trouble anymore.
Ngoc Lam was no longer targeted, but Van Thac has become a new target.
Thanh learned the trick from Mrs Phuong and her husband, throwing stones and hiding their hands. He found the opponents who cowardly gave up music after being defeated by Ngoc Lam but still held a grudge against her and asked them to meet Van Thac. On the one hand, threatened him that Ngoc Lam would take him down with her enormous talent; on the other hand, they said that to keep the performance successful, Ngoc Lam would have to restrain herself, and Van Thac would be the one dragging her feet.
Van Thac had already known about it. He looked at them calmly and asked them to leave a message for Thanh: Van Thac would let them see with their own eyes, with an outstanding talent like Ngoc Lam, what his and her performance would be like.
Van Thac knew he could never catch up to Ngoc Lam. But it was not like he did not have any way to get along with her.
The lessons he realized on his own with La vie en Rose, the lessons he learned from Amald's story, the advice of his teachers, Chiara's beliefs, the times he performed with Luyen and Thuyen, the countless times he played for The Orchestras, the basic lessons of Mr Woods, and the instructions of K and M, all of them have contributed to Van Thac's music.
Van Thac's beautiful timbre was finally able to blend with Ngoc Lam's outstanding talent.
That's thanks to tireless efforts.
Thanks to hard work and creativity from the most basic lessons.
Van Thac can never reach Ngoc Lam's realm, but it's okay. He will always chase after her with everything he has, with his strong passion for music, which Van Thac is confident he will never be inferior to Ngoc Lam.
He will show the world how someone like him can stand on the same stage with a legend.
He will become her sunshine.