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The Laughing Dungeon
Chapter Two pointe Five

Chapter Two pointe Five

    And the headache was back. With it, all the energy Puck had consumed from the insects was gone and his hunger reached new heights. Mindlessly reaching out, he consumed every spark of life his magic could touch. All the mushrooms, all the beetles, worms, and other insects he could find. One of the scrolls flashed in the corner of his conscious mind, but through the pain and the ravenous need to feed he didn’t read it. As the energy flowed into him, he could see a glow beneath the skin of his spirit form. His hunger slowly abated until finally he could think again. The sprite’s first rational thought was not a happy one. He was trapped in this dungeon body and couldn’t leave the space he could feel. A dark seed of rage planted itself deep in his consciousness and began to grow.

   When Puck had fully recovered from his latest learning experience, he decided he was no longer interested in walking back to his room and willed himself to his seat on the altar. The magic within him gathered for a few seconds, then he appeared exactly where intended. A small portion of the energy he had taken in dispersed. Dixon was still pacing the binding circle and looked haggard and exhausted. The dungeon had a moment of pity for the foolish creature.

Vicious fingers have done their best,

Let the tired find their rest.

    The pixie looked up in surprise, then sat hesitantly on the cold stone. When no magical pinches came, he collapsed with a great sigh, drained from the effort of avoiding Puck’s curse. “You’re as trapped in here as I am,” Dixon said condescendingly. “You can expand your influence, but you can never leave. If your stone is removed, your personality gets wiped and though your intelligence and memory lattice remains useable by others for various purposes, you’re basically dead. And what’s left of you may as well be a slave.”

    Puck instantly regretted his momentary lapse of kindness. He ignored the impulse to take it out on the pixie. “Have you tried flying out of the circle?” he asked.

   Dixon glared at Puck. “I. Can’t. Fly.” he reminded the dungeon spirit.

  “Oh. Right.”

What good are wings bound to earth?

Take flight, child, show the sky your worth.

   When the spell landed, Dixon shot straight up into the air about ten feet at the speed of a hummingbird. He flew cautiously toward the edge of the barrier, only to discover it still held him. The pixie moved up to the ceiling, trailing his hand along the invisible barrier before making a full circle. It was clear he was still trapped. Dixon flew back down and landed gently, shoulders slumped.

   “No such luck,” he said morosely.

   “Since you’re stuck here with me, I have another question for you.”

  “You really are merciless, aren’t you?” Dixon asked rhetorically. “What do you want?” His tone was irritated.

  Puck’s eyes narrowed and the pixie held up both hands to show he was backing down. “What does it mean that I added something to my list of fauna or flora?” he asked.

  “Oh! You absorbed something out there?” Dixon perked up a little.

 The dungeon took a moment to look at his scroll.

Name: Puck Level: 1 Classification: Fae Dungeon

Bonds: 0 Fauna: 5 Flora: 2

Rooms: 2 Abilities: Command Lesser Fae, Illusion I

Spells: Glamour

Treasure: Noble’s Mahogany Bed

   “My scroll says I have five fauna and two flora,” Puck answered.

  “Look at your scroll and focus on one of those.” the pixie said.

   The sprite took Dixon’s advice and concentrated on the Flora part of his information. The text faded from one set of data to a new one he had never seen before. He read the scroll aloud to the pixie.

Dungeon Flora

Total: 2

Psilocybin mushroom: A psychedelic mushroom. Causes hallucinations when ingested. This trait is equally reviled and revered by various members of various species. Humans in particular are passionately interested in the effects of this fungus, frequently vocally expressing their distaste while indulging when they think no one is looking, as is typical of most human vices.

Cave moss: This moss grows from the walls and ceilings of caves near the entrance and as deep as light reaches. It can be grown into a variety of styles, from hanging moss to lichen, in spite of the latter technically being a plant-like organism rather than a plant itself. It’s possible such mosses have medicinal properties. It’s equally possible they won’t.

   “Oh, interesting,” Dixon said. “I’ve not heard of any dungeons with that kind of mushroom. I suppose that isn’t very interesting when you can summon slimes, killer rabbits, or undead, I guess.”

   “Summon what?” Puck asked, bemused.

 “Anything you consume, really,” the pixie lectured. “Like I mentioned before, you can use the mana you’ve absorbed from the environment or consuming things to summon creatures to protect your dungeon, or grow various herbs or plants. You should try it.”

 “Why would I need protecting?” The sprite’s eyebrows furrowed.

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 “Adventurers?”

 Puck looked at Dixon blankly.

 “You know? Treasure hunters? Grave robbers? Archaeologists? Murder-hobos?”

  “What would they want? It’s not like I have anything but junk in here.” Puck swept his hand in an arc, gesturing at the room.”

  “Well, while not everything in here is junk, technically YOU are quite valuable.”

   Puck was pretty sure Dixon muttered, “Or you’re supposed to be,” under his breath.

   “Go on,” the dungeon said with a note of warning in his voice.

   “Dungeon crystals, like that broken one on the altar, fetch an incredible price in major cities. Dungeon crystals removed from their dungeon are often enslaved and re-programmed to manage city sewer systems or military training centers and the like. Less useful ones have their intelligence wiped and their empty crystals are used for mana batteries. It’s a horrific end to a dungeon.” Dixon blanched at the thought.  

   “Do I even need to worry about that? I’m obviously not living in a crystal,” Puck pointed out.

   “I have no idea. You’re something new, but still a dungeon. I’d rather be safe than sorry, if I were you.”

   “Ok. So how does a dungeon protect itself?” the dungeon asked.

   “Summoning/creating monsters, deadly plants, traps, etc.”

   “Casting spells?”

   “Well, I guess you can.”

   Puck thought about that for a minute. According to the scroll, Command Lesser Fae was an ability, and while Dixon probably thought of the results as spells Puck had cast, the dungeon magic seemed to differentiate it from the spell in his list, Glamour. A spell he had yet to cast, come to think of it. He concentrated on the word on his scroll.

Glamour: This spell allows you to magically “pull the wool” over someone’s eyes. They will see, smell and hear the reality you imagined when casting the spell. At higher levels of the Illusion ability, the glamour will seem completely tangible and include taste sensations. At the highest levels, the victim’s mind will experience the pain of illusionary wounds and weak minds may even experience death. True vision negates this effect.

   The heat and flare of a fire burned quickly through Puck’s memory. With a flash of callous inspiration connected to the memory, he targeted Dixon and decided to try something. The sprite muttered too softly to hear,

Forever doomed to play the fool,

Let glamoured sight see the dream come true.

   A surge of mana thrilled through Puck’s senses as some of the total he had drained from the creatures earlier was used up to fuel the spell. A scroll appeared, visible to both Dixon and the mischievous sprite. To Dixon, it read, A dungeon wishes to bond with you. This bond is permanent. Do you wish to bond with the dungeon? Yes/No?

  To Puck it read, A dungeon wishes to include you in its catalog of summonable creatures. This will consume your consciousness and physical form. This is irreversible. Do you wish to sacrifice yourself to the dungeon? Yes/No?

   “Are you serious?” The pixie looked up at the sprite with hope in his eyes. “I thought we only had once chance to bond. This should be impossible”

   Puck nodded with predatory smile that Dixon saw as the most genuine smile he had ever encountered.

   “Dead serious.” Puck shrugged and said truthfully, “And I don’t know. I’m not supposed to be possible either, according to you.”

   “True,” Dixon responded. “Yes. Yes. Yes!” he responded to the scroll.

   The edges of the scroll began to glow and Dixon’s name scrolled across its center as though he had signed a contract. Each end began to roll toward the other until they met in the middle and disappeared into a golden haze that faded quickly. For a moment nothing happened. Dixon was smiling for the first time, excited for a chance at life fulfilling his calling. His excitement didn’t last long. As Puck watched curiously the pixie’s eyes went wide in shock before he screamed as his very being began to disintegrate, leaving only his essence behind. There may have been words in his screams, but Puck couldn’t make them out, and they didn’t last very long. A new scroll appeared.

You have absorbed a dungeon pixie. A new entry has been added to the universal dungeon catalog. Dungeon pixie, a unique, sentient creature, has been added to your list of fauna. As the first dungeon to absorb a dungeon pixie IN HISTORY, you receive bonus experience.

P.S. I can feel you laughing about that little trick you played. They call me a monster, but that is one twisted sense of humor you have there, child. You have my attention now. I will be watching your growth with interest.

   The sprite blinked as the scroll disappeared. Puck had not been prepared for some kind of intelligence to be behind the scrolls. He was irked that it had referred to him as a child, but it seemed like there was little he could do about it. Momentarily he thought to ask Dixon if he knew anything about the scrolls being connected to a sentient creature, but remembered before he spoke that, well, Dixon wasn’t there anymore. He smirked at the thought a moment before an unfamiliar sensation pulsed through his consciousness.  

   Magical power ebbed through Puck and out to the edges of his awareness of his dungeon as a whole, then flowed back into his spirit form. The energy surged out and back in 4 times before it ceased. His ‘senses’ tingled and buzzed from the exposure to so much magic and he could feel the mana that had previously filled him pooling at the bottom what he thought of as his ‘stomach’. It no longer came close to filling him, though the massive emptiness didn’t cause him any sort of insatiable hunger this time. The reserve was apparently more than enough to sustain him, in spite of his new capacity for more. If his ability to glamour Dixon had been an example of his capabilities, he was looking forward to what he might be able to accomplish with more.

   Puck smiled a wicked, mischievous smile.