Sara reappeared then, carrying a clay bowl full of bottled alcohol, spirits and wine that sloshed back and forth in their glass cases. She raised an eyebrow at Penn, and Asher waved it away. When she carried the small table to the other side of the room, she gestured for Asher to sit again, and he obeyed as she set to work with another little satchel.

‘You don’t have to do this,’ Asher said.

‘I already said I would,’ Sara said. ‘Relax, sweetie.’

‘Thank you.’

She offered him a tight smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, then set to work. ‘The first thing I’m going to tell you is that nothing works without the dust. It’s what connects the natural and unnatural, and that makes the magic work.’

‘Because magic is an in between?’ Asher asked.

Sara nodded. ‘Witchcraft is standing with one foot in the spirit world and one in the Underlands. Or this world is between both and witchcraft is reaching across both. I can never remember the specifics. The point is that it’s dangerous because it could pull you either way, and humans are supposed to be in this world. That’s how nature works. Does that make sense?’

‘Is that why I can interact with it all?’ Asher asked. ‘Because I was outside of my natural world?’

Sara nodded.

‘And you can mix it with herbs and other things?’ Asher asked. ‘Iain mixed it into his metalwork—’

Sara recoiled, and Asher flinched.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said quickly. ‘I…’

‘You spoke to Iain?’

Asher nodded.

‘He still thinks I killed Hadley, doesn’t he?’

Asher swallowed. Idiot, he chided himself. ‘He… he had a few comments.’

Sara nodded, not meeting his eye. ‘Why are you looking into it all? No, I mean… do you really think I killed her?’

‘No,’ Asher said. ‘For one thing, she’s not dead.’

Sara snorted, then wiped her nose with her sleeve. ‘Why?’

‘I want to understand why this is happening,’ Asher mumbled. ‘She was my only lead, and… I didn’t want to drag you back into it all.’

‘You’re worried about me?’ Sara asked. ‘You don’t know me. For all you know, I am a witch who kills people in some sacrificial celebration.’

‘You also saved my life,’ Asher pointed out. ‘I owe you that much.’

Sara shifted, twisting her hands together. ‘You’re an odd one, for a guardsman.’

Asher squirmed in his chair. ‘I’m not a guardsman anymore.’ The words felt like a knife in his chest. Even if his leg healed, the accusation would carry through his career. He would spend the rest of his life pushing back against it.

‘But you’re investigating,’ Sara said. ‘And you want to ask questions.’

‘If you don’t mind,’ Asher said.

Sara twisted her fingers together again, then sighed, her whole-body deflating at the effort. ‘I’ll tell you what you want to know, but only because you aren’t going to like what I’m doing here.’

‘Should I be worried?’ Asher asked.

‘I’m not going to hurt you,’ Sara said. ‘Not physically. This is all… it’s not real. It’s a way to show you how it works without actually pushing you too far. Does that make sense?’

‘Not really.’

Sara managed a smile. ‘It’s hard to explain, but magic is not… it’s not a matter of willpower. When you do your guardsman stuff, you march and run and use your muscles, and it’s about pushing your body, right?’

‘I guess,’ Asher said.

‘This isn’t that. Every time you use the dust, you’re dragging a spirit from their world into this one. The stronger the magic, the further you reach in, so it’s not a matter of pushing yourself but not reaching too far. Let me show you.’

She raised her hands and let them hover over the bowl, and after a long press of silence, a gentle mist rose up, the liquid inside turning to smoke. Sara bit her lip, then traced her finger across the table, drawing a ring of ash into the surface.

‘You get dizzy, don’t you?’ Sara asked. ‘Or nauseous? I get so sick every time I go deeper.’

‘I did the first time,’ Asher said.

‘So you’re only on the surface,’ Sara said. ‘That’s good, that makes it easy. Here. Try and put your hands in the bowl.’

Asher raised his hands in a mirror of how Sara had held them, and the burning pain prickling across his skin spread through his palm. He hissed in pain, but grit his teeth against it. He was nowhere near the liquid in the bowl, but when he braced to push his hands down further, it felt like touching liquid iron, an invisible barrier that seared his skin off.

‘Do you see?’ Sara asked. ‘It’s like breaking through a barrier and pulling it apart. You’re not supposed to, but once you break through, the hole stays there. Does that make sense?’

‘I think so,’ Asher said.

‘Of course, the more people doing it, the easier it is,’ Sara continued. She reached out and took his hands in hers, her touch gentle and cool against the burning air around the bowl. She eased his palms lower, and Asher flinched, but there wasn’t any pain this time. The skin of his hands still prickled, as though violent pins and needles were enveloping him, but as Sara dropped them down until the back of her hands were touching the liquid surface, nothing happened.

‘It’s still dangerous like this,’ Sara said. ‘But safer in groups. It’s like a chain. The longer the chain, the further you can reach.’ She bit her lip. ‘But also you can’t tell when you’ve gone too far either. That’s why it’s dangerous. If you go too far you’re putting yourself in a place you’re not supposed to be, and that place will try and make you belong there. It corrupts, and if you’re lucky, it will kill you. If you’re not…’

‘The Gate will open?’ Asher asked.

Sara nodded. ‘All those creatures you met with. They were human once. They can’t turn back.’

‘They… they were all witches?’ Asher couldn’t recall faces or how many of them there had been; even now it was all a blurry haze.

‘No, you don’t have to be a witch to break the laws of nature,’ Sara said. ‘Anyone can commit an irredeemable act in the eye of nature. It’s just… more obvious for people like us. People who can see it all working.’

‘So if I don’t touch it…’

Sara’s brow furrowed. ‘Asher, I need you to understand just how dangerous this is. Even if you do it properly, you’re breaking a hole in the world that wasn’t there before. There will always be spirits, as long as there is life, but it only takes that one final decision to break you. Please, tell me you understand.’

‘I won’t go in deeper,’ Asher pressed. ‘I promise. I just—’

‘No, you’re not getting it,’ Sara said. ‘You need to understand. I’m sorry.’

Before Asher could ask, she thrust his hands deep into the liquid in the bowl and let go of him.

Pain swallowed him whole, so complete and agonising that Asher couldn’t even scream. He couldn’t pull away, couldn’t move, but was trapped in place as that same molten hot air flayed through his skin and stabbed at his bones, burning the marrow inside and exploding with a force that threatened to tear him apart. His muscles seized, his spine cracked and contorted, and his skull was ready to burst behind his eyes, shards of bone breaking out of the skin, ripping him apart from the inside. He wanted to scream, he wanted to die, but there was only pain.

Sara slashed her finger across the line surrounding the bowl, and a force slammed into his chest, finally knocking him away and throwing the chair back. His head slammed into the ground, stars splattering across his vision as his teeth knocked together. The pain was gone, but in it’s place his body buzzed with a million ants under the skin. A groan escaped from somewhere in his chest. Then, through his watery and blurred vision, Sara hovered over him.

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‘Tell me you understand,’ she said.

Asher sucked in air, and deep hacking coughs shook through him. ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘You didn’t have to do that.’

‘I did,’ Sara said. ‘Oh, I know it’s horrible, but now you know what you’re getting into.’

‘There’s gotta—’ his voice caught as another hacking cough made his chest spasm. ‘Got to be an easier way to do it.’

‘I’ve tried before,’ Sara said. ‘It never ends well. I won’t let someone else get broken apart by all of this.’

She held out her hand, and Asher wondered if there was another trick waiting, if he’d really put his only confidence in a sadist. Yet, when he took it and she pulled him to his feet, nothing happened. As he straightened the chair and sat back down, the bed creaked next to them. Teka shifted, then rolled over onto his side.

‘Someone else?’ Asher echoed.

Sara flinched, but the guilt he’d felt before was less prominent now.

‘You’re talking about Hadley, aren’t you?’

Sara nodded.

‘What happened that night?’ Asher asked. ‘If she’s in that place and she’s not a Fienta, then how did she get there?’

‘I…’ Sara shifted, then dropped back into her own seat like a doll with its strings cut. ‘It was my fault. I pushed her in.’

Asher shivered. ‘Why?’

‘I don’t remember all the details. It all happened so fast.’

‘Then tell me what you do remember,’ Asher said. When Sara didn’t answer, he leaned forward. ‘I know she was your friend, but I really think something weird is happening with all of this, and there’s a trail I need to follow. Penn said the spirits didn’t tell him the Fienta were coming. They were supposed to, and they didn’t.’

‘I don’t think they knew,’ Teka spoke up from the bed, pulling himself into a sitting position. When Asher made to protest, he raised a hand. ‘Whatever you have done, it is working well,’ he said. ‘I feel well enough.’

‘That’s a relief,’ Asher mumbled.

‘If you want to know what happened that night, then so do I,’ Teka said. ‘The only reason many of us survived is because we have been travelling into this world. There are no guardians here and someone had to do it. Many of us were halfway here when the Gate split.’

‘Split?’ Asher asked. ‘But didn’t open?’

‘No, you know when a Gate has opened. It changes the laws of the world; mine and yours. This wasn’t that.’

‘I did suggest that maybe the spirits had no warning,’ Asher said. ‘Penn didn’t know if it was possible.’

‘It shouldn’t be,’ Teka said. ‘But if it happens fast enough, then it makes sense.’

Asher turned back to Sara. ‘If this was the same night Hadley—’

‘No, that’s not possible,’ Sara pressed. ‘Hadley went too far, she destroyed her body to… I mean, I thought she had died with that amount of magic, but the Gate taking someone in isn’t enough to break it apart.’

‘She’s right,’ Teka said. He tilted his head. ‘What spell did she try and cast?’

‘Oh, I don’t remember.’ Sara ran her fingers through her hair. ‘It’s all a blur, and I try not to think about it. It wasn’t good for any of us.’

‘No single witch could create that much of a split,’ Teka said. ‘If that’s what concerns you.’

‘It was autumn, right?’ Asher asked. ‘Both of these things happened in autumn.’

Teka nodded. ‘You call it equinox. The middle day. Nadu would tell you all tales about an in-between and what it means, but I couldn’t tell you why that’s important.’

Sara’s eyes widened. ‘Blessed spirits.’

Asher nodded at the confirmation, but a sick feeling bubbled in the base of his stomach. ‘It was the same day.’

‘I remember that.’ Sara’s voice was a whisper. ‘Gershwin is superstitious about all that. She was on edge. I was on edge. Something was wrong and neither of us could figure out what it was.’

‘Was Hadley worried too?’ Asher asked.

‘No… yes! Yes, she was frantic, she was manic, she… oh by the three, she knew something was wrong.’

‘Tell me what happened,’ Asher pressed. ‘It’s important.’

‘She came to us,’ Sara said. ‘She was so scared of… something. Oh, I don’t remember what! She was scared and rambling, she wasn’t making any sense. And it was the middle of the night. We weren’t in bed yet, but we were close, and we were restless too, because something was going on and we didn’t know what. Then Hadley was pounding on the door. She’s so small – well, she was – is – taller than me – but that amount of strength…

‘She needed us, and we had to go now, and I… what did she want? It was magic, I do remember that. She wasn’t strong enough to do it herself and she needed us. Blessed… I remember her being on her knees, begging for us to go with her and go now. But, I didn’t.’

‘You didn’t go with her?’ Asher asked.

Sara shook her head. ‘You can say it, I’m a coward. I was scared and I backed away, and I shouldn’t have. I should have gone with her, but I was so afraid, and with Gershwin’s name on that bloody scroll I didn’t want to… I was so scared, and she had to go alone.’

‘But she couldn’t,’ Asher mumbled. ‘That’s why she fell into that place. Because she tried to do the magic herself and she wasn’t strong enough.’

Sara nodded. ‘I should have… if I’d just gone with her! I should have just done it and it would have been fine!’

‘If she was going to seal the Gate, it wouldn’t have mattered,’ Teka said. ‘A sier and a witch, it wouldn’t have been enough.’

Sara shifted, her eyes watering. She didn’t answer.

‘So you didn’t push her,’ Asher said. ‘She tried to go alone.’

‘If I had gone with her, it wouldn’t have happened!’ Sara cried. ‘I could have talked her out of it! I could have told her to stay at the house and calmed her down! I could have… I…’

Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. Asher grabbed a small handtowel from the end of the bed and passed it to her. ‘Could that be what it was?’ he asked Teka. ‘Could she have known the Gate had split? Even if it means she knew before Penn?’

‘Penn is the hand of the natural world,’ Teka said. ‘If it is a disturbance in the natural world, the spirits know, and he hears all that they do.’

‘What if it wasn’t the spirits though?’ Asher asked. ‘What if she knew it would happen because she knew what could cause such a large rift?’

‘That’s very intriguing,’ Teka said. ‘Of course, you’re assuming that was the goal.’

‘That’s true,’ Asher admitted. ‘but whatever had her scared has to be connected somehow. She’s already involved and she wasn’t a fienta. Not from what I could tell, anyway.’

‘There had to be something,’ Sara’s voice was soft. ‘If she used too much, it would have broken her. That’s how it works. The only way it didn’t is if she went in on purpose.’

‘It also means people can survive in there,’ Teka mumbled. The words he didn’t say hung heavy in the air. His partner. Sara's sullen face told him Hadley was still at the front of her mind.

‘Someone I care about is in there too,’ Asher mumbled. ‘Not just him. So many people didn’t come back like I did. If there’s a way to fix this, I’m going to find it.’

‘You said a friend was taken,’ Sara said. ‘Do you care about him that much? You’ll break your soul apart to save him?’

Asher flinched. He didn’t understand how it always came back to this. ‘He probably expects me to.’

‘That is a poor answer, my friend,’ Teka said.

Asher ran his hands through his hair. ‘I know. The truth is...’ A knot formed in his stomach. ‘No. No, I don’t care about him like that, but I can’t leave him there either. This isn’t about him. If I don’t get to the bottom of this, it’s only going to get worse. So many people are hurt or missing. I need to know what happened.’

‘Then I’m coming with you,’ Sara said.

Asher stared at her.

‘You’re a fugitive. You’re going to need help,’ she pressed. ‘Besides, I need to fix this. I didn’t help before and every day I wish I can take it back. I’ll figure out what Hadley wanted me to do, and I’ll make it better. I’ll... make it up to her.’

The anxiety that had pressed down so hard before began to ease, adding a weightlessness to his posture he hadn’t felt in a while. He wasn’t alone. He hadn’t been this whole time. He glanced over at Penn, who was still fast asleep.

‘Let him rest,’ Teka said. ‘He’s never been good at planning anyway, and you seem to need one.’

Asher wasn’t sure he had one, aside from somehow going outside without being noticed by anyone. No way could he sit here and let everyone else continue this. ‘What would Hadley have seen?’ he asked Sara. ‘Realistically, I mean. You knew her and what she was like. What could have happened to scare her?’

Sara shifted. ‘Oh, I don’t know, I really don’t.’

‘Please,’ Asher said. ‘She worked at the dovecot, right? Carrier pigeons?’

Sara nodded. ‘She was part of the courier’s guild. Birds travel faster than people, but all she did was care for the birds. It wasn’t like she read any of the mail that came in.’

The report from Telkesi, with the spirits attached to it. ‘Was she a sier? Could she see the spirits like we can?’

‘That’s how we became friends,’ Sara said. ‘When we were teenagers. But the spirits weren’t—’

Asher rubbed his face. He didn’t have the report on him anymore, but there was a connection there. Was it enough to cause a panic? ‘Did you know they’re trying to rebuild Telkesi?’

Sara’s brow furrowed. ‘What?’

‘I was surprised too. My mother always said there was nothing left, and with Grey Lung it was never safe to go there. I knew a few Telkites as a kid who said they’d accepted it.’

‘Asher, what are you talking about?’ Sara asked.

‘There was a report that came in from Telkesi,’ Asher said. ‘Covered in spirits and dust, talking about rehabilitating the islands.’ With Navarre’s name on it. Navarre, who knew about Le Torkani. Yet, didn’t do anything when people started falling into that place right in front of him.

None of this made any sense.

‘Okay, so if she saw a letter that was covered in dust, that means something?’ Sara asked.

‘It got my attention,’ Asher said. ‘If it got hers, then it would depend on the context of the letter.’

‘I don’t know where she would keep it,’ Sara said. ‘But if it made her as frantic as it did, then maybe she dropped it and ran. It might still be in the dovecot. Or it was in her pocket and there’s nothing we can do.’

‘Would she have produced it to prove something was wrong?’ Asher asked.

Sara paused. Her brow furrowed, and Asher had the answer he needed.

‘We need to start at the dovecot,’ he said. ‘Retrace her steps from that night.’

Hopefully it didn’t end in the same kind of tragedy.