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Chapter 10 - Taking responsibility for one's choices

Damovotsk, Molkovia, Earth.

Demian's P.O.V.

“I’ve been wondering... I mean... Why did you decide to start practicing MMA? And why to the professional level?” His question brought a reminiscent look on her face, prompting him to add. “If you don’t want to answer, it’s also fine. I was just curious. That’s it.” His reaction elicited a small amused smile from the woman who replied. “If I remember correctly, you’ve always said that ‘MMA was for morons’. In fact, you’ve repeated it multiple times.” At that point, her face became much colder, with no trace of its previous warmth. “I haven’t said a word yesterday since you’d just woken up, but now that you mention it, I want to know why the sudden interest. That’s not like you at all. Actually, everything about you seemed to have changed.” Each accusation was akin to a knife stabbing his heart, bringing shame and guilt to the surface to the point that sweat started appearing all over his body. “I...” He was filled with hesitation and confusion. Should he tell her about his reincarnation? Would that explain his change of character? But then, would she be able to accept him? And even if she did, would that change anything? After all, he may have been reincarnated, but his soul did not ‘invade’ a dead body, like in those cultivation novels he read in the past. Instead, he was born normally and grew up to his current age, and only then did he regain his previous life memories. So, his past hateful attitude could not really be blamed on the previous Demian since he WAS the previous Demian. Just without another set of memories.

All those considerations popped up in his mind, increasing his confusion until, a few awkward seconds later, he decided to walk the ‘less painful’ path. ‘I can’t tell her that I got back my previous life’s memories. I just... I need time to process the whole thing...’ He thought before he subconsciously lowered his head in shame. “I guess I’m... No, scratch that. I AM sorry, Big Sis. I’ve been acting like an asshole with you.” The apology seemed to trigger something inside him, with the constant self-criticism he put himself through for years without ever speaking about it to anyone was finally brought into the light. Without noticing the mist gathering in his eyes, the young man started sharing his inner pain with his cousin. “Look at me, I’ve been weak since I was born. I‘ve always been bullied at school because I couldn’t do anything in P.E. class without being completely out of breath or injuring myself...” Pausing for a second to recall some buried memories, he then continued almost absentmindedly. “I’ve tried, you know. Many times. Because of my body, though, it was completely useless... The only thing I could do was resign myself to being a physical cripple. Nothing I could do, right?” The question was asked in a self-ridiculing tone, softening the woman’s expression.

However, she did not interrupt him, something he was thankful for. After all, baring one’s heart was never an easy thing and now that he was doing it, he wanted to go all the way. Raising his eyes to meet the redhead’s inquisitive gaze, he resumed with a weary smile on his face and some tears running down his cheeks. “And then I saw you. Brynhild Mikhailov, my cousin. You shone so brightly, succeeding in so many things that I failed at. I should’ve been happy for you, but... To be honest, I was jealous. ‘Why can’t that be me?’ That’s something I ask myself all the time. I felt so much frustration that I ended up resenting you. I really sucked, right?” Her eyes, which were previously filled with some simmering anger turned to pity as she started speaking some reassuring words. “You don’t...” Before she could continue, however, he interrupted her to say. “I didn’t tell you all that to get you to pity me, Sis. I just want you to understand where I come from and why I started changing. Honestly, getting knocked out instantly by some random guys was a wake-up call for me. As a man, I wasn’t able to protect the people I cared about and that triggered something in me.” Halting his words for a brief moment, he then added. “I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I want to be strong enough. And I know that taking responsibility for the choices I make is the first step. Anyway, I’m sorry and I hope you’ll watch me so that you’ll understand that those aren’t just talks. That’s all I ask of you.”

Despite his current weak body, he subconsciously exuded a strangely compelling aura at that moment that seemed to affect the woman whose eyes now radiated appreciation instead of the previous pity. Nodding her head slightly, she declared. “I’ll be watching you then...” Before she mumbled some shy words under her breath. “And what with the shining brightly nonsense...” The words were too low for him to catch, however, prompting him to ask curiously. “What did you say?” Regaining her calm, the redhead replied. “Nothing. And about your previous question, the one about why I started MMA, I’ll answer you if I find that you keep your promise.” Feeling satisfied with her words, Demian, who felt much lighter all of a sudden, retorted. “That’s fine by me. By the way, thank you for listening to my rant... It means a lot to me...” With a small smile, she claimed. “It’s fine. Now that you’re done crying, why don’t we move on to the third subject I wanted to teach you?” Chuckling at her sudden change of subject, he quipped. “You know, I just realized that your words are as lethal as your fists. I’m honestly impressed.”

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After a few light giggles, she retorted. “Let’s stop with the joking or we’ll be here all day.” At those words, Demian regained his calm and started listening intently. “Punches and Kicks are basically the basics of fighting. You can also use knees and elbows, but those feel less natural to humans, requiring more effort to use them correctly. Think about it. What are the first two things that come to mind when it comes to fighting with someone?” Pondering for a brief moment, he had to admit that she was right. “Punches and kicks.” Nodding her head, she claimed. “Exactly! Because they’re easier to use. That being said, you still need to master the correct form for each type of punch and kick. Otherwise, not only will you not maximize your strength, but you also risk getting injured.” As an international-level fighter, she was very well acquainted with every aspect and technique that one could use in MMA and even some that were forbidden to use in official matches. As the saying went ‘It’s better to have something and not need it than the opposite’.

Understanding potentially lethal techniques could help one devise ways to avoid them in case of fights against less-scrupulous individuals. After all, the opponent may be disqualified for using forbidden moves, but you would still be crippled or dead, which was not a result that one would want. In his case, however, the techniques he learned were very simple. For punches, for example, it was mostly straights, hooks, and uppercuts, while the kicks were mostly high, middle, and low kicks. Of course, those may sound simple, but one had to keep in mind that Demian’s physical condition was pretty low, even if it was much better than the day prior. That meant not only was his stamina low, but his body was incredibly rigid, increasing the difficulty by magnitudes, especially for the high-kick. Thankfully, Bryn did not force him to master it, but instead demonstrated the correct form and asked him to practice it until he could lift his leg to the correct height. In the meantime, he would focus on the middle and low kicks. Those were much easier to master.

After what felt like forever, the strict woman was finally satisfied with his progress and let him off with a few words. “It’s enough for today. I’ll draw a training regimen that will last you a week. After that, we’ll adjust it depending on your progress.” Demian, who was lying on the ground while being drenched in his own sweat, raised a thumb up and exclaimed tiredly. “Sounds great, Sis. I’ll just rest here a bit, though. To get some energy back, you know?” His spread-eagle pose elicited an amused smile from the woman who then said. “I’m going for a shower before preparing something to eat. Interest in eating with Sis and I?” While focusing a part of his attention on his breathing in order to recover faster, he responded. “I’ll join the two of you. As soon as I get back some feelings in my legs, of course.” His joke was followed by his own weak laughter and Bryn shaking her head before leaving the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. ‘I wonder how much I’ll progress in a week if I keep training like that... I’m sure I’ll be pleasantly surprised.’

A few minutes later, he finally regained enough stamina to stand up and walk to the bathroom upstairs. After a quick shower, he joined his two female cousins for lunch, sharing a light-hearted conversation with them. Once the meal was over, Bryn left to train at her usual gym on the other side of town, while Seraphine went to train on her own. As she liked to put it: “I'm blind and bored. So... Might as well keep myself in shape, don’t you think?” While recalling the funny memory, Demian booted up his PC before starting his daily language lesson, or ‘Mind Training’, as he liked to think it was. A while later, the young man rubbed his tired eyes, deciding that he had enough for the day. Having lasted longer than the day prior before his brain started ‘melting’, he felt satisfied. After all, it had only been a day since his Perk was activated. “My poor brain... I feel your pain...” He mumbled jokingly.

Letting out a tired sigh, he wondered out loud. “I feel like I forgot something...” After a few seconds of pondering, he finally recalled what he previously decided to do. Not wanting to waste time, he browsed the internet until he found what he was looking for. “Let’s get this one!” He muttered under his breath while clicking on the purchase button and filling out every information the website needed. Once he was done, he checked when the package would be delivered. “Two days? It’s not too bad. I‘m not really pressed for time, anyway.” Satisfied with his purchase, he closed the tab with the picture of a guitar before turning off the computer. Standing up, he then left his bedroom for the living room where he found Seraphine sleeping on the couch, with her right arm hanging from it and some drool dangling from the side of her mouth. A mix of warmth and amusement surfaced in his heart at the sight. ‘She looks more relaxed than yesterday... I think I underestimated how worried the girls were for me...’ He realized before deciding. ‘I really need to be more careful. If not for my sake, at least for them...’

Letting out the umpteenth sigh that day, Demian then moved toward the other sofa, where he swiftly lay down and closed his eyes. It was not long before he fell into a much-needed slumber, the only noise now resounding in the large room being the sound of peaceful breathing.