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2.25 Disconnection

I was focusing on her with my spider eyes intently. I enjoyed watching her sleep. In my opinion, she looked beautiful like this, even as her hair was getting extremely messy due to its contact with my own.

Then, something odd happened.

I was focusing on her so much that I felt a sudden disconnect from my elven body. My sharp hearing disappeared with it. The feeling was similar to when I first woke up after my final evolution. That part of my body was separated by the same numbness or cold from that day. Back then, I had to, in a way, thaw it, but right now…

I had the feeling I knew what was going on, so I didn’t panic after my initial shock. What was more, I felt myself relax somehow.

It would seem I had fallen asleep… but I also hadn’t. I gave up on trying to think about how this was possible and welcomed the fact that it seemed to revitalize me. It was as if I was getting the sleep I missed last night while I was awake. Confusing, but useful!

At some point I could even see my dreams. I was running through large green plains for whatever reason. The meaning of the dream eluded me, but it was all too vivid. The grass, the blue sky, even the warmth of the sun felt real. What was even stranger was that all this was completely disconnected from the reality where I was still watching Cellestra snooze softly. It was as if I was in two places at once. It was… indescribable…

I enjoyed my own dream until Cellestra woke up. She stirred and opened her eyes. I waved at her with one of my pedipalps.

“Morning, Kealyna. How are you?”

I didn’t reply. My elven body was still asleep. I waved again, to which she cocked her head.

“Kealyna?”

When I didn’t respond for the second time, she stood up and watched my sleeping form on top of my spider body. Confusion was plastered on her face and she was frozen. I could see that she clearly had no idea what to do next. I would be lying if I said I didn’t like the look on her face at least a bit.

I tapped her on the shoulder with one of my legs which only increased her confusion. At this point, I was having fun watching her reaction to all this.

“What the— How the— What?” She stammered.

I did seem to have a bit of an issue forcing myself awake. I had to poke my second head with a leg and then shake my body around a bit with the same leg. I then felt all sensation return to my body within a matter of seconds, and I was soon able to open my other two eyes.

“Morning. Cellestra. I’m fine. How about you?” I said as I turned my head to face her, still lying down in the softness on my back.

“Were you sleeping?” Was all she could say.

“Heh,” I chuckled loudly. “Well, yes, but actually, no. I guess both?”

“I am so lost right now…” She said softly.

I yawned before rising myself. “This part of me somehow fell asleep, but my lower half didn’t. I don’t know how it happened, but let me tell you, I was happy I did. I feel so much better right now.”

“I mean…” Cellestra still didn’t seem to know what to say. “That’s good… I think?”

I nodded. “Sure was nice to get a few extra hours of sleep. Anyway, let’s prepare to move out, shall we?”

“Sure, just give me a few minutes.” Cellestra walked to the backpack on the other side of the fire, which I’d kept burning throughout the night and early morning. I added a bit more wood to it, but I doubted it would be of much use. The elf pulled out some bread and an apple and started eating.

After she'd finished those, she excused herself for another minute as she walked off behind several trees in the distance. Knowing what she was doing made me think about my own digestive system. I had eaten so much, but I never had anything… come out the other end, at least not that I could recall.

Elysa?

No answer, as expected. I doubted she would have left any information behind that would answer that specific question. The fact that I didn’t seem to have to relieve myself was odd, but nothing more than that.

Cellestra soon reappeared and took her backpack back on her back. “Are you ready? We should get your answers today.”

I extinguished the fire with my water spell, cast my multi-barrier spell, and then nodded at the elf. “I’m more than ready.”

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I lowered myself to the ground and had Cellestra step back on after she had placed the wolf pelts back on my abdomen. We then set off towards Edhil again.

“So,” Cellestra started, what would obviously form a question, “About you both sleeping and not sleeping at the same time. Do you think it will be of use to you?”

“I’m not quite sure,” I admitted. “I know for a fact that it appears to revitalize me as sleep would, but I don’t know how to control it properly. If I do manage to do that, I think I will be able to stay awake all night while sleeping at the same time. By the goddess this is confusing.”

“I can see why it is,” Cellestra said with a smile. “What you are able to do is… unimaginable to my mind.”

I chuckled. “Do you think I have any idea? I mean, I am literally doing it and I still can't imagine it.”

“That bad, eh?”

I nodded. “At least it seems to be beneficial.”

“By the way,” Cellestra changed the subject. “How was I tonight? I mean, did you have to cast your spell to calm me down?”

I shook my head. “Nope. You slept all night. Peacefully, too. Maybe the pillow was the problem all along?” I joked.

Cellestra let out one of her cute giggles. “Yeah, maybe so.”

I saw her eying the hair against which she’d rested. I couldn’t help but make another joke. “You’re not thinking about shearing me and stuffing a pillow with my hair, right? Because frankly, I don’t know if it grows back.”

Cellestra suppressed a grin as best she could. “You know what? I was thinking about that,” She joked back. “You’re like a giant sheep. A few more legs, but who cares? I bet it grows back!”

I laughed at her response as we reached the dirt road again. Once more, we followed it while chatting about she would sheer and make it into stuffing for pillows and then tell them. About half an hour later, we reached the edge of the forest. The road continued on through green plains which eventually changed into fields with crops all the way in the distance. It looked like most of it was young corn; they hadn’t grown that tall yet.

“How do we go about this?” I asked as I came to a halt. “Do we follow the road until we reach the village to then go around it towards Edhil, or…?”

“Uhm,” Cellestra started. “I don’t quite know if word about your endeavors has reached this far yet. I would say it’s fairly safe to do that, but I can’t say what the smart thing to do is.”

“Berel was his name, right? The caravan leader I mean. Will mentioning his name put people more at ease, you think?”

“I think the fact that I’m on your back should help to put people at ease as it is,” Cellestra replied.

I shrugged. “I guess so. Besides, we talked about this before. I’m not going to be able to hide. I wasn’t planning on going inside the city, either way, so in all honesty, I doubt we’ll run into many issues.”

I continued walking along the road. “We might scare some merchants along the way, though.”

“Well, I’ve read that the best way to overcome your fears is to face them,” Cellestra said warmly.

“I know the fear of spiders is a legitimate thing, but don’t you think I’m a bit too big to easily overcome a fear like that?”

“I mean…” The elf started. “Perhaps? At least you can talk now. That should help. Also, what happened to you insisting that you are not a spider?”

“Well, what can I say?” I shrugged with a sly smile, which she obviously couldn’t see. “When I said that, I wanted to be my old self as I had no hope of ever looking like this…” I struggled with my words but tried to be as honest as I could. “Now that I am partly my old self, that’s already more than I could have ever hoped for since I was cursed. I think, thanks to that, I’ve more or less accepted it. Of course, there is also the part where this blessing has made me stronger than I’ve ever been, which makes my goals much more attainable. You know, all the knightly stuff…”

I shook my head. I sucked at putting this into words.

“I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I am more or less alright with what… who I am, right now.”

Cellestra petted my back softly. “I’m happy to hear that.”