(May 1st, 1986)

The cup of extremely bland and entirely unappetizing custard flew across the room, smacked into the wall with a wet sound, and slowly began to ooze its way down towards the floor. "I'm bloody well sick of this tasteless crap!"

It took me a long moment - during which my mother sighed and got up from the chair she was sitting in beside my hospital bed - to realize that I was the one who'd gotten angry and thrown the custard. The anger had come and gone so quickly this time that I barely felt even the faintest remnant of it as I blinked at the mess I'd made.

Mom patted my shoulder, her bright green eyes sympathetic. "I'll get someone to clean that up." She tossed her jacket on the empty chair beside the door and left, her waist-length, wavy red hair flashing in a patch of sunlight as she went out.

My mind healer, Dr. Morgana MacMoran - who was cut from the same basic, almost stereotypically Irish physical mold as my mother, and who was apparently a sometimes-colleague of hers - smiled with unflappable, gentle humor from the other chair beside my bed and took my left hand in both of hers. "Believe it or not, that reaction isn't all that uncommon. Hospital custard is pretty horrid."

Somehow, that made me feel even worse about the lapse, and despair flooded through my senses. I burst into tears, and Artemis - currently stretched out across the end of my bed - made a weary sound and put her paws over her eyes.

On the other side of my bed, Athena gently stroked my hair. "Despair this time," she said across me to Dr. MacMoran. "She can't control it at all, can she?"

"It's very convenient having you here to tell me what she's feeling," Dr. MacMoran said softly. "No, not right now. It'll get better with time though, I promise. By the end of the year, she should be fully back in control of her emotional state."

"So long?" Athena asked, hopelessness in her voice. Or maybe I was just translating it that way. My mind was in such turmoil that I could barely pick out Athena and Artemis's emotions from the maelstrom.

"I know it sounds like a long time," Dr. MacMoran replied, "But it won't seem that way most of the time. The important thing now, Alys," she squeezed my hand to get my attention, "Is to make yourself as busy as possible and stay that way. Positive things, mind you…concentrate on your therapy, physical and psychological. Between sessions, focus on your studies, and on learning to recognize when you're losing control of your emotions. And, of course, on regaining that control."

Since my right wrist and elbow were still in a light cast, Athena wiped my eyes for me with a tissue. "H-how?" I asked, trying not to sound as hopeless as I felt.

Dr. MacMoran noticed anyway and squeezed my left hand a little tighter. "I'll guide you through it, never fear. I think we'll start with meditation. I'm sure you already know something about that."

I nodded. Of course I did. I was in training to become a Wizard.

"Good, then we'll start with that," she nodded firmly, then softened. "Alys…I'm not saying this is going to be easy. I've been working with the healer who removed Brenna's spell from your mind, and we still don't completely understand what it did to you. Once we establish what it’s done, I'm sure we can smooth things out." She smiled. "Okay?"

I sniffled and squeezed her hand. "Thank you, Doctor. For putting up with this."

"It's my job," she said gently.

"She also has two children," Mom said as she came back in. "She's dealt with emotional incontinence before. Every mother has…around the time their child is two." She sat back down beside my bed and scratched under Artemis's chin, making the oversized house-cat disguised as a snow leopard flop over onto her side and purr like a rusty motor.

Dr. MacMoran laughed lightly. "You're not far off, Deirdre. It does rather remind me of that." She saw me glaring at my mother and held up a hand. "Before you explode, Alys, it's an excellent analogy. I'll run it by the healer, and we'll look at it from that direction. Maybe it'll shine fresh light on the problem."

"But it is a fixable problem, right?" I asked hopefully. "Some lingering effect of the spell and not…" I trailed off, too frightened by the thought to give it voice.

"Not actual neurological damage?" she finished for me, then squeezed my hand again. "Alys, dear, be at ease. We've found no signs at all of neurological damage. Whatever's causing your…emotional incontinence…" beside her, Mom's lips twitched, "…is undeniably a side-effect of the spell Brenna cast on you."

Relief flooded me, and I started laughing. After a moment, I realized that the laughter was becoming a bit hysterical and tried to choke it off. When I couldn't, and fresh tears of fear and despair started to flow down my cheeks, Athena stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, her expression deeply concerned. "Alys?"

"Easy, Alys," Dr. MacMoran said gently. "Take deep breaths. I think we should start on meditation as soon as possible."

Athena cupped my face in her hands and made me meet her eyes. After a moment, she broke through the chaos and her strength suffused me. She was like a rock, and I the rough ocean crashing on it. She swayed for a moment, eyes widening with surprise, then smiled. "I'm right here, Alys. I'm not letting go."

Artemis crept up the bed a little, careful to stay on my uninjured left side. <>

I did, closing my eyes and focusing on their feelings, their emotions, their stability. It took a couple of minutes, but with their help I was able to steady my own bizarrely out of control emotions and calm my wild reactions. I took several deep breaths in the wake of it and met Athena's eyes. I didn't miss the exhaustion I saw there, or the love, and smiled at her weakly, then at Artemis. "Thank you. We can't keep doing that though, you'll wear yourselves out."

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"All the more reason for us to get to work healing the damage, don't you think?" Dr. MacMoran asked. "For now," she rose from her chair and smoothed her skirt, "I want you to start practicing daily meditations. Calming and centering exercises would be best. I'll put together information about a few other techniques I think will help and bring them by in a day or two. Okay?"

I nodded, returning my attention to her. "Thank you again, Doctor."

She smiled warmly. "My pleasure. If I may say so, you have more support than many of my patients…you have the most amazing familiars I've ever met, wonderful parents, and that young detective who was in here earlier looked about ready to rebel when I told him to get out." Her lips curled a bit more. "Hold onto them through your healing, and you'll be fine. You'll see."

I saw Mom smiling as I nodded. "I know." I felt Athena's hands clasp my left hand and hold on as I took a deep breath to keep the hopeless feeling from rising up again. It wasn't working well. "Rationally, intellectually, I know that."

"But emotionally you're all tied up in knots," Dr. MacMoran said sympathetically. "We'll fix that. I'll see you in a day or two."

She hugged Mom, murmured something in her ear, then left, nodding to someone in the hall as she went. After a moment, an orderly came in, flashed us a brief, professionally detached smile, and very efficiently cleaned the remains of the custard from the wall. Then he left too.

“Where’s Jonathan?” I asked. I’d been having a little bit of trouble keeping track of who was in the room, which disturbed me greatly. “And where did Ben go when he left?”

“Jonathan went to talk to your doctor about your physical therapy,” Mom said as Athena settled lightly back against the pillows beside me, like a protective wall between my injured right side and the rest of the world. "Ben said something about making contact with the local authorities and that he'd be back to check on you this evening." Mom smiled. "Are you two an item now?"

"Maybe," I said hesitantly. "I suppose we'll see how well he can handle an emotionally damaged OW!“ I yelped in surprise as Artemis very, very carefully sank her claws a little way into my left calf.

"Stop that," Athena added in the most severe tone she'd ever taken with me. She twisted to look at me and I saw her wince a little.

I looked back and forth between them, confused. "But it's the truth!" I heard the faintly petulant whine in my voice and was disgusted by it, but it didn't change the fact of my problems.

"It's temporary," Athena said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. "You will heal, and it will pass. Ben is aware of that, and obviously thinks you're worth the trouble."

"But…"

Mom cut me off. "Honey, please listen to them. They're right. Think about it for a second…he stayed here the whole first week after you were hospitalized, and didn't so much as flinch at sticking by your side while the healers worked to remove Brenna's spell from you."

<> Artemis added in a small voice. <>

I looked at Artemis, then to Athena, who nodded, and finally back to my mom. "I really wish someone would tell me what happened during that week. And most of the following week. You know I can't remember it at all."

"Dr. MacMoran said that would be a side-effect of removing the spell," Athena said.

<> Artemis added. <>

I ruffled Artemis's ears gently. "I do trust you. But I still wish I knew."

Mom, now used to only hearing part of the conversation when Artemis was involved, either figured out what Artemis had said from context or simply moved on. "I know you do. Dr. MacMoran promised me that she'd tell you everything as soon as she felt you were ready to hear it."

"You can trust the doctor," Athena said. "Both Artemis and I do."

I held up my left hand in surrender. "All right. I'll let it go for now."

Mom sighed and sat back in her chair. "Thank you, honey."

Athena sat back again with a little sigh, and I glanced at her. It was hard to turn to the right with my arm in a sling. "Are you okay? How's your stomach?"

She shook her head slightly. "I'm all right. It was a fairly shallow cut, really, just long and nasty looking." She lifted the bottom of the green silk tunic she was wearing, and above the waist of the matching pajama pants I could see the long, thin line of the scar Brenna's elevated panther familiar - Hecate - had left with her short curved sword.

I reached over awkwardly with my left hand and brushed my fingers over it. It was just a line, barely raised from her skin. It was well healed, but…

"It pulls and pinches," Athena explained, taking my hand in hers and lowering her tunic again. "That's all. The doctor told me that as it finishes healing, the scar will fade and loosen up. The salve they gave me for it is helping, and I'm supposed to start physical therapy along with you to speed up its healing." She patted my hand gently. "I'm okay."

I breathed out a little sigh and tightened my fingers around hers almost convulsively. "That night, when I felt the cut…when I saw you bleeding…" There was a panicky edge to my voice and I stopped talking, trying to smother the fear that I felt.

My bed shifted and Artemis pushed her face right up close so that we were nose to nose and my eyes almost crossed trying to focus on her. <> Her voice was warm, certain, and utterly reassuring. <>

I smiled and Athena laughed softly. "She's right, you know," she said. "We both have to train to get better." She reached over and placed a very gentle hand on my right knee. Under the light cast they'd wrapped around it and the blanket, it looked about the size of a cantaloupe. "You'll get better, and so will I."

Mom was looking from one of us to another, obviously a little confused. After a moment, she evidently picked up on the gist of their conversation because she nodded. "They're right, Alys. Listen to them." She frowned. "How many times have I said that today?"

"And it's barely past lunch," Athena teased.

I flushed with intense embarrassment. "I'll try to pay more attention." Silently, I added, <>

I honestly hadn't intended Athena and Artemis to hear it…but from the mixture of frustrated and sympathetic looks they both gave me, I knew they had. Then they exchanged a look, and something passed between them – I could sense it – that I wasn't included in.

For a moment I was startled. Had they always talked to one another without including me, or was that something new? Tears came to my eyes and hurt welled up in my chest, causing both of them to look back over at me in surprise.

Athena shifted and took my hand in hers, smiling gently. <>

Her certainty came across to me clearly, and a moment later Artemis lifted her head and met my eyes. <>

I leaned over as best I could and, ignoring my tears, kissed Athena's cheek, then ruffled Artemis's ears gently. "Th-thank you."

Mom watched us from beside the bed, her expression a mixture of confusion, concern, love, and…pride? What was she proud of?

<> Artemis said firmly. <>

I looked at Mom's expression again, and this time I think I saw there what Artemis was seeing. Well, my familiars were better at reading people than I was anyway. I was sure Artemis was right.

And if she was right about that, then Athena had to be right about me getting better. It would just take time.