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The killer inside of me
The Killer inside of me

The Killer inside of me

 I remember it like it was yesterday, I was with my dad at home it was just us. I was drawing in the kitchen while he sat watching T.V beside me. It was peaceful sometimes I wished it had stayed that way, then the door knocked, we weren’t expecting anyone to show so it was strange, dad got up to answer the door but the second he did he was pushed back by two men in suits. 

The men had guns and they beat my dad to the ground, I watched in horror while they kicked him, they kept shouting at him “where’s our money, David?” They repeated that over and over as they kicked him, I was too scared to move and I was too afraid to scream all I could do was watch. 

Eventually, they stopped kicking him, I looked at my father who was beaten badly and he was bleeding. One of the men glanced over in my direction, he only noticed me then he gave a shocked expression “shit, Tony look.” He said to his partner beside him. Tony looked at me as well he then had the same shocked expression that the first man had. I just sat there still frozen in place, unable to move. 

After about a minute of them staring at me, Tony asked his partner “well what do we do with him?” His partner looked puzzled for a second before suggesting an idea “we take him with us.” Tony looked at his partner and asked him “you lost your mind? We can’t take a kid with us.” Tony snapped back at his partner “well what do you want to do, leave him here to call the police, he’s seen our faces they’ll find us in no time, we have to take him.” 

After a few minutes, his partner agreed “you’re right we can’t leave him here.” Tony walked over to me and at that moment I was able to run so I ran as fast as I could to my room, but I wasn’t fast enough, Tony had caught me he had his arm wrapped around my neck tightly enough that I couldn’t move but not so tight that I couldn’t breathe. He then carried me out of my house and into a black car, the other man carried my half-dead father and put him in the trunk of the car. 

I was tossed in the back they tied my hands and feet so I couldn’t move, I was then put in the back and they locked the doors and they drove off with me I didn’t make a sound, I didn’t try to run away, I was too scared of what would happen if I did try. We drove using the back roads so fewer people would see us the windows were tinted so people couldn’t see I was being held, hostage. 

We reached a restaurant; we drove behind the building to the back of it. There was a back entrance which my dad and I were brought into they took my dad to a different room I left in a dark room with a chair I was still tied up. After what had felt like an eternity three men walked in. I recognised Tony and the other man that was with him but I had never seen the third man before. 

The third man was older than the other two he seemed to like he was in charge of Tony and his partner. The older man looked at me for a minute before saying to his two comrades “so you brought a child to me?” The older man asked. Tony tried to defend their actions “well boss we didn’t know what to do with him so we took him here we couldn’t leave him in the house by himself.” 

The older man didn’t care about what excuses they had he snapped at them “you brought a child into our business, what the hell do you two morons expect me to do with him?” Neither of the men had an answer to that question the older man took a deep sigh before saying “well you two jackasses already brought him here so the damage is done, I’ll fix this mess for us.” 

Then the older man walked over closer to me and got down on one knee, he then asked me “what’s your name son?”  “Walter.” I replied back to him my voice was shaky I was scared of what was going to happen to me the older man then spoke again “well Walter my name is Leo, Walter your dad owes me a lot of money and he’s not paying me back, now since he’s refusing to pay me back, I’m gonna give you choice you can work for me or we can sell you on the black market as a slave the choice is yours, Walter.” 

Even then I knew it wasn’t a choice I knew the black market wasn’t an option so I chose to work for Leo “I’ll work for you, sir.” I barely managed to get that sentence out Leo smiled “you chose good kid.” After that they cut me loose and I was put to work I mopped floors, washed dishes and took out the trash I was never allowed out front and I was always supervised this went on for two years before Leo called me to his office one day. 

I walked into Leo’s office there was another man there Leo introduced us “Walter this man’s name is Joe Smith he’s gonna train you how to fight.” I was confused why did Leo want me to fight Leo must have been able to read my thoughts because he started to explain to me why I needed to fight. “First we’re gonna train you to fight with your hands, after that we’re gonna show you how to use a gun once you can do that well then you’re gonna start doing more exciting jobs for us like taking care of lowlifes who don’t pay their way just like your old man.”

I was surprised Leo thought I was the man for the job but I was still in debt to him so I couldn’t say no unless I wanted to end up like my dad. He got beaten so badly that day that he died of his injuries and since my mother died when I was three, I didn’t have any other family to go to so Leo took me in and made me work for him after a while I had gotten used to it this is my life now. 

So each day after work I was taken to a gym where I was trained in boxing and MMA after that I was thought how to shoot a gun after six years of training Leo deemed me ready to start working for him so on my eighteenth birthday Leo sat me down in his office and explained what was gonna happen to me. “Now Walter there are a few things you need to be aware of number one which I know you’ve figured out by now is that the restaurant is a front for our more profitable business ventures like lending people money and charging interest on the borrowed. The second thing is we’re family here you’ve been with us for seven years that makes you family as well if you ever betray this family, we will hunt you down and kill you do you understand?” 

“Yes sir.” I replied back Leo smiled and stood up he walks out from his desk and hugged me “welcome to the business son.” He said to me and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged to something Leo always treated me well sometimes he even treated me better than my own family did so it never felt like I was paying off my dad’s debt it felt like I was part of the family. 

It was my birthday so Leo gathered all the men who worked for him to the bar and we celebrated over the past seven years I had made a lot of friends at the restaurant the people who thought me how to read and write, how to prepare food, how to keep clean these people thought me everything I know and it was like Leo said we were family. 

The next day Leo called me back into his office he then gave me my first real job “alright Walt listen up there’s a scumbag who owes us a lot of money we’ve paid him a few visits, roughed him up, threatened him and he still won’t pay it seems like we’re not getting our money back so we need him taken care of can you handle that?” 

“Yes, sir I’ll take care of this guy.” I answered back to Leo, he then gave me the details of my job “right the guy’s name Bruce Weathers, a scumbag who lives on the opposite side of town in an old apartment complex beside butchers.” I thought about it this was the first person I was going to kill a part of me didn’t know if I could do it but I had spent the last seven years surrounded by killers so it should’ve been a problem but still I felt nervous 

I told Leo “yeah I know the place I’ll head there right now.” I stood up and got ready to leave but just before I walked out the door Leo said to me “Walter, don’t mess this up.” I didn’t turn back to face him I stood in the doorway and said “don’t worry boss I won’t.” I then walked out of his office and went outside there Harry was waiting on me with the car. Harry was one of my oldest friends he was the one who took care of me when I first was taken to Leo’s he was like my older brother. 

“Hey Walt, you ready?” Harry asked me when he saw me, clearly, Harry knew where we were going, I guess Leo filled him in earlier I nodded at Harry and he smiled and got in the car and got in the passenger seat beside him we drove to the house it was a quiet ride over there. We reached the apartment complex as we pulled up Harry said to me “right you’re going in there, take care of the scumbag and come back out before anyone knows what’s happened, he lives in apartment 20 third floor.” 

I took a deep breath and took a second to collect my thoughts before saying “right I got this.” Harry gently slapped my back and said “yeah you got this Walt.” I got out of the car and entered the building, I walked up to the third floor and found apartment 20 the door was opened slightly so I gently pushed it opened, as I walked in there was a strong smell of smoke coming from the living room. 

I looked around the place was a mess bottles all scattered across the ground there was a very thin layer of dirt starting to build up, the smell alone would kill you it smelled like piss and drugs as I continued to look around I saw a child there she was chained to a radiator she looked like she hadn’t been fed in days and she hadn’t seen a shower in years she was half asleep, I went over to try and help her but as I did I heard a door opening behind me I turned to see it was a man coming out of the bathroom, he saw me and I stared at him and asked: “you Bruce Weathers?” 

The man looked annoyed when I asked him that question so I figured I was right. “Get out of here, before you get hurt.” Bruce threatened me. I looked at Bruce he smelled of drink and drugs, he was overweight and in his underwear that hasn’t been changed in months based on the smell and stains. A threat from him was nothing he was in no shape fight. 

“You owe a lot of money to Leo Ackerman, and he’s done asking politely.” I told Bruce I saw his expression change from slightly angry to being pissed “Ackerman can go screw himself.” He shouted back at me, Bruce then went to charge at me lucky for me he was slow and drunk so as he charged at me he stumbled and I moved slightly out of the way. Bruce got back up and went to punch, I saw a knife on the kitchen counter and I acted quickly. 

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I stabbed him in his stomach before he could hit me, Bruce stopped dead in his tracks. I was still holding the knife that was deep in his stomach. Most people would feel horrified if they had stabbed someone but not me. I felt powerful, I felt amazing I held the power of life and death in my hands and I wanted more. I pulled the knife out of Bruce I stabbed him again and again and again. 

I felt better with each stab, I felt more alive as I plunged the knife deeper into his stomach. I stopped stabbing him when I saw the life go out of his eyes. I watched his body fall to the floor, I was still gripping the knife in my hand, I looked at the knife the whole blade was covered in blood, I smiled at the sight of seeing that much blood, I looked at Bruce’s corpse, I watched as the blood ran out of his body onto the floor. 

I then glanced over at the child who was chained to the radiator, I knew I couldn’t leave her there and I knew I couldn’t take her back to Leo so I walked over to the phone and I called the police I told them I was a neighbour and I could see a child that looked to be in pain. The operator told me to stay there and that the police were on their way. I quickly wiped the blood from the knife on Bruce’s corpse and once it was clean, I placed it in my jacket pocket. 

The child was barely breathing and was struggling to keep her eyes open, even if she did see me which I was positive she didn’t she was too out of it to remember so I reckoned I would be fine. I didn’t like leaving her there but I didn’t have a choice. I walked out of the building and got back in the car. Harry drove me back to Leo’s. 

When we got back one of the waiters at the bar told me Leo wanted to speak with me. I went into his office Leo pointed at the chair on the other side of his desk, which meant I was to sit down. I did as I was instructed to do, after I sat down Leo asked “so is it done?” I smiled at him and said, “yeah boss it’s done; Bruce Weathers won’t be bothering us ever again.” 

Leo seemed pleased by this answer he then asked me a second question “did you run into any problems?” I thought about my answer for a minute ‘do I tell him about the girl?’ I asked myself, Leo didn’t like being lied to it was better for me to tell the truth rather than to lie to him “there was a little girl there, she tied to a radiator and was barely breathing and she couldn’t keep her eyes opened, god only knows what sick things Bruce did to her, so after I killed him, I called the police, don’t worry no one seen us and the girl was so out of it there’s no way she would be able to tell them what had happened.”

Leo looked concerned by what I had told him he then said to me “that was very stupid what you did Walt, however, I doubt you’ll be made for the murder so you got lucky this time but don’t do something that stupid again.” Leo ordered me. I understood his concern so I didn’t argue with him I nodded in agreement. Leo asked me one final question “so how did it feel to kill him?” 

I took a second to answer but I had to be honest with him, “it felt good, nothing brought me more joy than to watch the life go out of his eyes and watch as his body fell to the floor, I look forward to doing it again.” Leo laughed at this answer he then put his hand on my shoulder and said “that’s good Walter, you’ve got a killer in you after all. You’re a good kid.” I was relieved to get his approval I felt even better than I already did. As I got up to leave Leo handed me one hundred euro and said to me “for a job well done.” 

The next few months were great I was sent out to kill and beat up deadbeats who didn’t pay Leo. I got money for it as well the joy of taking another person’s life. I knew what I was doing was wrong and the fact I enjoyed it made me disturbed but I didn’t care when I killed someone, I felt powerful, I felt in control and it was the first time in my life I ever felt that way also the people I was killing weren’t exactly innocent they were drug abusers, mobsters and thieves. So, I never had to kill innocent people. That was until one day Leo called me into his office. 

I sat down on the chair and waited for Leo to give me my next target, Leo handed me a photo of a woman, she had long hazel hair, emerald eyes and she looked beautiful, Leo explained who she was “her name is Selina Brenan and she’s an investigative journalist, recently she’s been snooping around the restaurant, we reckon she’s about to discover our side operations, so it would be very fortunate if she was to have an accident if you know what I mean Walter.” 

I stared at the picture I couldn’t help but shake the feeling I knew her from somewhere. I pushed that thought out of my head she could bring down the whole operation she had to go, “you’re right boss it would be very fortunate if she were to have an accident, I sure hope nothing bad happens to her.” I said in a sarcastic tone Leo knew what I meant he laughed and said “alright get the fuck out of here just make sure she doesn’t make it to work tomorrow. She lives just a few roads from here near your old house.” 

I walked out the door and headed to my car, I drove to her location which meant I had to drive past my old house. A new family started living in it but the house looked the same as it did that day, as I drove past I thought about everything that had happened the past seven years, how much I changed and how there are some days I just wished dad never borrowed the money from Leo, I pull up just outside the house and I wait I need this to like an accident so I can’t just kill her and walk away, I form a plan in my head if I can get her unconscious in the house I can make it look like she was sleeping while she was cooking, the house catches fire it’s a freak accident no one is at fault. 

I sneak around the back of the house, her car is in the driveway so she’s home, the back door is unlocked ‘it can’t be this easy I think to myself as I slowly sneak in the house. I look around the place is clean, it’s a small house but it’s kept in great condition, I glance over at the fireplace on the mantle of the fireplace there are some photos I glance at them but then one of them catches my eye. 

It was a childhood photo of Selina and me, all of sudden the memories come flooding back to me. Selina was my oldest friend, she was one of the only people who were kind to me, we played together like we were brother and sister, she had changed so much since then which probably why I didn’t recognise her from the photo Leo gave me. 

‘Does Leo know about me and her being friends, surely not he wouldn’t have given me the job if he knew.’ While I was distracted trying to get my head straight, I hear a voice from behind me “Walter?” the voice asked it was sweet and warm, I turned to see who it was and it was Selina, she rushed over and hugged me “you’re alive.” She sobbed while holding me tightly. 

She stopped hugging me after a second and she asked “wait what are you doing here?” I stood silent I didn’t know what to say I didn’t plan on this happening. Selina looked at my waist and saw my gun that was slightly peaking out. She scanned me and focused on the suit I was wearing, a black suit with a white shirt and no tie. 

It didn’t take her long to figure out what was going on “oh no, Walter you’re working for Ackerman aren’t you?” She asked sounding terrified she knew the answer I stayed silent she started to panic as she realised why I was there “you’re here to kill me.” She tried to run to the door to scream for help but I quickly grabbed her and put my hand over her mouth so she couldn’t scream “Selina calm down please.” I instructed her 

After she struggled for a minute, she started to calm as she did, I let her go. She didn’t try to run. She asked me “so are you gonna kill me?” I paused for a second before I answered “no, no I’m not gonna kill you.” She was surprised to hear this answer and so was I but I couldn’t bring myself to kill her so I made a new plan. “look Leo wants you dead you gotta run, get out of town for a bit, I can get you to a train station but we have to go right now.” I told Selina I hoped she would listen to reason and she did “alright let’s go.” She said to me and just as we walked out the door and headed for the train station, as we drove there Selina asked: “what happened to you, Walt?” I explained to her my life story and how I didn’t really have a choice in the matter after I explained what had happened, I asked her “so what happened to you?” 

She told me “after you disappeared, I tried looking for you but I couldn’t find you and the police didn’t help in searching for you, so I became a journalist to find out what had happened to you, I found out your dad owed money to Leo Ackerman so I started investigating him and well I guess I ended up on his hit list.”

She put her life in danger for me, so she could find out what happened to me, I know it isn’t but somehow, I feel like this is my fault, so now I have to make sure she stays alive. We reached the train station and I watched her leave just before she left, she said “I’m not stopping going after Ackerman I’m gonna bring him down.” I pleaded with her “Selina please you’re just gonna get yourself killed, stay out of this please.” 

She didn’t say anything she boarded her train and she left. I was relieved to see her go, at least now she can be safe, I walk back to my car, I look up at the sky ‘it’s getting late I thought to myself as I go to get in my car in the empty carpark, I hear a familiar voice call out to me “hey buddy.” The voice said I turned to see it was Harry he was looking at me with a disappointed look on his face. 

“Hey Harry, how you doing?” I asked him I was nervous there was no way Harry didn’t know I didn’t kill Selina. He took a deep breath and asked “you didn’t kill her, did you?” I was caught I knew there was no way out so I had to try and explain myself “she was an old friend I couldn’t do it.” Harry looked at the ground and said “that’s a damn shame, I always liked you, Walter, this isn’t personal.” 

Harry pulled a gun out of his pocket; I was able to close the distance between us and knock it out of his hand. Harry threw his fist at me but I dodged it, I quickly kneed him in the stomach causing him to stumble back slightly, he got back up and punched me in the stomach, I took a few steps back and leaned against my car for support, Harry tackled me against the car, my back hit off the car he held me in a tight hold, I elbowed him repeatedly in the face until he let go. As he tried to stabilize himself, I punched him in the face, he fell to the ground, I punched him again and again until his face started bleeding. I stopped hitting him 

Harry was badly beaten but he was still breathing, my knuckles were covered in blood. I took a second to catch my breath, Harry said to me “he’s not gonna stop, Leo will hunt you down and kill you, Walter, you betrayed the family that’s punishable by death you know that.” I thought about what he had said he was right Leo wasn’t gonna stop so I had to keep running. 

I opened the door of my car but before I got in, I looked at Harry and said “see ya around Harry.” I got in my car and drove off, I kept driving until I was out of the city, I didn’t have a home anymore and I was being hunted, I had to keep moving nowhere was safe I figured I could get on a boat and get out of the country so I headed to Spain, I knew no one there and I had no connections it would take Leo a while to find me there, I got my money and I was on the next boat to Spain. 

I had nothing with me just a few hundred euro and my clothes, it would take Leo a few hours to figure out I didn’t kill Selina, by the time he knew what was going on I’d be out of the country, I just hope Selina is alright, I told her a lot of information about Leo’s business if she’s smart, she’ll go to the police with it hopefully they’ll keep her safe. 

As for me, I’ll lay low for a few years before I think about heading back, if I ever decide to head back, I don’t know yet, all I know is that I’m good at killing so I know how to make money I’ll survive, somehow, I always do. 

The end.                           

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