Andrew and Ellen were taking a late night stroll through the park. They were still heady with the warmth of alcohol, laughing at the night’s events. It was getting late, but the night air was perfect, and they couldn’t resist a walk. The two of them left the lights, buzz , and traffic, following the paths deeper into the trees and brush.

He lunged at the two of them from out of the shadows, gun at the ready.

“Don’t move! Don’t do nothing! Not unless I tell you, in which case you do exactly what I say.” The threat of violence grumbled in the mugger’s voice as he pointed the gun at them.

“Oh my god! No, please. We’ll do anything just don’t hurt us,” said Ellen, her voice shaking.

Andrew rolled his eyes.

“You’re kidding me.”

“Does it look like I’m joking, buddy?” said the mugger, raising his voice.

“I mean,” Andrew thought for a moment, “No. But you don’t look like you know what you’re doing either.”

The mugger was stunned for a moment. He shook himself out of it and began moving menacingly forward.

“The hell you just think you said to me?” he said darkly.

“Andrew! What the hell are you thinking?” Ellen was shaken in disbelief as well.

“I mean look at you,” Andrew continued, not seeming to notice. He began motioning at things to the mugger as he spoke. “You really going to wear a shirt like that? The design is too noticeable. Easy to identify. Wear plain black or white or, if you have to have a design on it, like a small nike swoosh or something. Also I can see your face so easily. Maybe I’m too distraught to pick your face in a line up - there’s good science behind that - but then cover up that neck tattoo at least. Also your shoes. What the hell? Jogging shoes are a good choice, but with reflectors? You want us to see where you’re running off too? You want the cops to?”

“Shut up Shut up! Unless you want to get your brains blown all over the bushes!” Yelled the mugger.

“Yes! Andrew. Shut up!” yelled Ellen.

“Both of you need to be more QUIET!” Andrew suddenly screamed, his voice over powering the other’s and stunning them into silence once again.

“Now did I get your attention?” Continued Andrew. The Mugger and Ellen looked at him confused. “Exactly. I did. That’s exactly what you don’t want in a successful mugging. Attention. If you are yelling at us while my wife here is also yelling, it's only a matter of time before someone hears and comes to check it out. And just look at us. There’s a tree there, some bushes there, but from too many angles we’re just out in the open. We’re also back lit from that lamppost. You gotta pick better spots to jump in, buddy.”

The mugger looked around nervously.

“Shit,” he whispered to himself.

“Here, bud. Follow me. You got a great spot right over here.”

Andrew started to walk off the path into a shadowed area behind the bushes when Ellen interrupted.

“Andrew! What the hell are you doing give this guy advice? He’s got a gun pointed at us right now. He could kill either of us!”

Andrew looked back at her, then the mugger, then let out a disappointed sigh.

“No he doesn’t. Look, babe, the gun’s pretty much at his hip. He’s not pointing at a damn thing. It's worse than that sideways gangsta thing. At least that’s threatening. Look here,” he said, now addressing the mugger, “Keep the gun pointed at chest height or higher. And actually pointed at me. Yes! Just like that. Now raise your shoulders up a bit. THERE! See? Your arms and shoulders are now hiding your face, even from the side. Now aim down the sight. No no. Take your time. Remember, YOU are the one with the power right now. Things go on YOUR time. So slow down and down and make sure you’re doing it right. Good! Now raise it higher, aim right between my eyes. Ok, almost there. I want to be able to look right inside the barrel - YES! Now THAT’S scary. Now point it at my wife, just like you did just now.”

The mugger thought a moment, nodding to himself as if he was confirming what he just did, step-by-step. He then swung the gun right at Ellen’s face.

Ellen’s hands flew reflexively up to her shoulders and she went dead still. Even her breath did not dare not to leave her lungs. Her face paled, matching the whites of her wide open eye’s.

“See?” said Andrew, “And she’s quiet now too. Perfect. Good job.”

Ellen began shaking, trying to stifle panicked sobs as her eyes began to tear up.

“Andrew,” she pleaded, her voice barely a wheeze through the fear, “Please. Why are you doing this?”

Andrew continued to instruct the mugger.

“Now what you want to do is to have us both in your sights at the same time. See how you have to swing from left to right if you want to switch who you’re pointing at? Stand over there so that you can see us both at once. Better...but you want to stand a little offset otherwise one target is covering the other target. You always want to see what both of us are doing. There we go! See how easy it is to switch targets. So now you want us to head off into the bushes, right? Give simple directions, and don’t worry too much about being threatening. You either become harder to understand or too easy to hear. Keep it calm. Look in control.”

The mugger continued to cover Andrew and Ellen with his gun, but his eyes were looking up in thought, processing everything he just heard. He then looked down and his eyes went cold. His voice became serious.

“Walk into the bushes. Slowly. Now.”

Andrew nodded his approval and did as he was told. Ellen followed, overcome with terror.

The three now found themselves in the brush, obscured by the leaves and its shadows to any light or passerby.

“Now turn around, slowly, the both of you,” the mugger instructed, “And keep your hands up where I can see them.”

They turned. The three of them stared at each other in the dark. It was a long, terrifying, then tense, then awkward moment.

“Uhh…”, said the mugger.

“So you want our stuff, right?” asked Andrew

“...Yea...would you mind?”

“Sure, bud. This is the tricky part, after all.”

Ellen looked ready to crack. She was sobbing openly now. Voice breaking.

“Why, Andrew?” 

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“So the idea behind this is you at no point in time want to give an opportunity for us to break for it or rush you,” Andrew continued.

“Uh huh.” The mugger nodded.

“Andrew,” said Ellen once more.

“You need to be able to grab the stuff without moving the gun away from us.”

“Uh huh.” The mugger nodded.

“Andrew!” Ellen yelled, “Don’t ignore me!”

Andrew and the mugger stopped, dead silent.

“Why are you helping him? And how do you know all of this? What’s going on?”

Andrew chewed on her words. He began wiping his palms against his pants. He wouldn’t make eye contact with her.

“I am asking you a question!” Ellen insisted.

He looked to answer after, taking in a deep breath, but the air stopped in his throat. Andrew turned to the mugger.

“I mean...this isn’t really the time, don’t you think?”

“You know. I’m actually curious myself. Why do you know all of this stuff?” the mugger answered.

Andrew looked cornered, but he remained silent.

“Answer me,” Ellen said through gritted teeth, “I’m being put through all this. I deserve SOMETHING.”

Andrew’s avoided turning to her, locking on to the only other person there.

The mugger shrugged.

“Honestly, I think she has a point.”

Andrew shut his eyes hard.

“So remember when I told you a couple years ago that I go back home in the summer to help my brother out.”

“Yes. You said he had a cleaning business.”

Andrew seemed to deflate.

“That’s not all wrong. It's more like,” he paused, choking on the next words, “More like we cleaned people out?”

Ellen blinked.

“Oh. My God.”

“Listen. Babe.”

“I can’t...how could you..”

“I know how it sounds.”

Ellen turned away from him, hands covering her mouth.

“Babe? Baby, c’mon. Babe. Ellen?

She turned to him, red faced, tears in her eyes.

“You lied, Andrew,” she spat, “You lied. Again. To ME.”

Andrew’s struggled to form his next words.

“I know how it-”

“No. I’m sorry. But I’m done.”

She turned away from him, arms crossed, a hand over her mouth to stifle her crying.

The mugger looked at her. Then turned to Andrew, and saw him looking at the dirt, hands nervously rubbing his back pockets. The mugger turned back to Ellen.

“Hey. Look, miss. I’m sorry about all of this.”

Ellen waved it away.

“It's fine. You’re doing what you’re doing. And this,” she gestured to Andrew and herself, “This has nothing to do with you.”

She was shaking from the anger and the hurt. The mugger desperately  looked like he wanted to say something.

“Don’t worry about it, bud. Let’s just get this over with,” said Andrew

The mugger nodded.

“So what you want to do is keep the gun trained on us, while keeping your other hand free to get the goods. See how you have both hands on the gun right now? Hold the supporting hand out. Now with the other hand you want to pull the gun towards you. No no, keep looking down the sights. More towards your face. Not that close! If you have to shoot you’ll get flashed. Yes...yea...ok that’s close enough. Now you want to angle your body so your free hand is closer to us. No no. The other way. No. Just turn on the spot to your right. Keep the gun in front!”

The mugger followed the best he could, but was clearly struggling.

“Okay okay. Don’t get frustrated. You’ll get it. Ahhh...here, it’ll be faster if I just show you. Hand me the gun.”

The mugger stopped. He brought his hand back and stood with the gun squarely trained on Andrew’s head. An angry coldness came across his eyes, sending ice down Andrew’s back.

“Whoa, buddy,” said Andrew as he held his hands up, “What’s going on?”

“The hell you trying to pull?”

“Umm...what?”

“Yea. Its been real cute, but I think I’m done being your little puppet.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said I’m done playing games!” the mugger yelled, “You think I’m just going to hand you this gun? You think I’m some kind of idiot?”

Andrew scowled at the mugger.

“What? Do you think I’M the idiot?”

The mugger furrowed his brows.

“...what?”

“Seriously. How dumb do you think I am? Dumb enough to think you’re dumb enough to just hand over a loaded gun?”

“..uhh...sorry?”

“The gun IS loaded, right?”

“Oh. Yea.” The mugger pulled back the slide, making a threatening click-click as the gun went live.

“Are you kidding me?” said Andrew.

“What?”

“So you’re just NOW chambering it? If something happens you want your piece ready to rock! If you’re not going to show up with the gun good to go then at least cock it in front of us for intimidation. And now you’re going to actually hand me a chambered gun?”

“Oh! Umm. No.”

“Do I even want to know if you have the safety on?”

The mugger looked back at Andrew, glass-eyed. He then turned the gun to the side to check.

“Never mind. Just take to bullets out.”

The mugger turned the gun over awkwardly as he looked for the release. He managed to get magazine to slide out, but only barely managed to keep from fumbling it to the ground.

“There. Now you hold on to that. No bullets no problem right? If I can’t shoot you then its safe to hand it over, right?”

The mugger nodded and held out the gun to him. Andrew looked like he was about to lose his temper. He put his hands to his hips and gave a withering look of disappointment to the mugger.

“Uhh..”

“In the chamber, dumbass!”

“Oh, right!”

“What did I just tell you? You took the magazine out, but if there’s still a round in the chamber-”

“I got it I got it I got it.”

The mugger struggled to pull the slide with the magazine still in his other hand, but after a nervous moment the gun let out a click and the shadow of a bullet could be seen popping out the side. The mugger then handed Andrew the completely unloaded gun, trying hard to hide his embarrassment.

Andrew took the gun and pointed at it with his other hand.

“Ok. Now pay attention. You paying attention? Ok. I want you to mind how I’m standing but focus on the gun. See where I’m about to put it, alright? Don’t keep your eyes off of the gun, you understand?”

The mugger nodded.

“Ok. Good!”

Andrew pulled his arm back and then tossed the gun in a high arc, sending it sailing over the mugger’s head. The mugger watched it pass over him and landed out of sight into the bushes far behind him. He turned to Andrew with a confused look.

THUD

Andrew charged at the mugger, driving his shoulder through the mugger’s solar plexus, and landing on top of the mugger as they both fell to the ground.

“Oh my god!” Ellen yelped.

“Get him, babe!” he called out as he held down a breathless but still struggling mugger.

“What-what do you want? What do I do?”

“Stomp on his head? I don’t know!”

“Oh shit! Okay okay. YAH!”

There was another loud THUD as she drove her boot into the pinned mugger’s face.

“That’s it, babe! Right in the teeth!”

Ellen began to laugh. “Ha! Eat Gucci, asshole!”

She continued to stomp on the mugger as Andrew began throwing punches as well.

Brutal Mugging in local park

Story by Richard Cho

Police were alerted to a disturbance in City Park by a group of dog walkers and a passing city sanitation worker. On investigation, they found a man in the bushes, beaten unconscious. The man suffered head trauma from numerous wounds, including broken teeth and dislocated jaw, and was identified by first responders to have a moderate concussion. Other injuries sustained include bruised ribs and a dislocated shoulder. The man was also found with nearly all his possessions stolen down to his clothing. Only his pants and socks remaining on his person. Perpexingly, the man, who asked not to be identified, refused to give any information on the attack and his attackers, simply saying “I just want to put this behind me, and start looking for a real job.” With no additional information, the attackers are still at large. This is in light of the mayor’s statement last week to “double-down” on the city’s violent crime.