“What are you looking for? You’ve been searching your whole body for the past 15 minutes! I want to eat dinner! Let’s hurry back.”

“Patience, dear.”

Kyle was shocked for some reason.

…Thank god the symptoms didn’t change. Well I only used a few spells so I doubt it will cause any change but I should be careful.

“C’mon! I’m hungry! I know you are too so let’s collect the reward and fill up our stomachs!”

Kyle here, who is wailing like a child wanting to go to a famous restaurant, extends her arms as if she’s signalling and guiding cargo ships in the bay.

It’s almost dark out so we probably should go back. After all, demons often patrol the area outside the Kingdom at night. Thankfully, they only patrol and seldom attack. They’ll only attack when they’re in a group.

Fireflies are fairies. They fly around a night whilst they emit a bright glow as they do so. It’s very surreal in certain situations. I used to catch them and put them in a jar. They are guides to those who ask them, said my dad in the past.

While I was thinking about that, Kyle approached me and stared at the fireflies too.

“So you want to eat insects? Suit yourself while I’m going back and hog the reward money.”

While she was about to head back, I stopped her tracks with a sudden statement.

“…Have you ever catch fireflies when you were a child?”

“Where did this come from...?”

Kyle looked at me with suspicion.

To why, I don’t know. Had she never catch fireflies when she was little? What a boring childhood. The joy of running around at night with a net and swinging that net carelessly. It’s nostalgic. Catching fireflies and putting them in jars had become a hobby of mine. I can still remember when we don’t have a lamp, I often used the light from the fireflies to read. Yes, a mansion is certainly a dark place.

As I was reminiscing about my childhood, Kyle extended her face close to mine and started to examine me from head to toe.

“What’s with the staring? If you want to kiss then I’ll gladly give you one but miss Kyle, this is certainly not the time for that.”

“Idiot. I don’t want a kiss from the likes of a pathetic magician like you. Though we may have just met a few hours ago, I can tell that you’re not acting like you normally do...”

“Hmm?”

She looked at the thing I’m holding and made a depressed look.

Isn’t she the one acting abnormally? I was merely trying to observe and appreciate the fireflies and how important it is in the past.

She then proceed to take something out of my hand and showed it to me with a tired look.

“…You, did you eat this?”

“Why would I though? Isn’t that the mushroom that can kill a war elephant in a single bite? Though not that fatal to humans, it can severely affect their perception and create false memories. Why do you have that?”

“You were holding it you idiot. I can’t believe that you can remember the effects of this but still try to eat it. See this? Isn’t this a bite mark?”

Is this what they call a face palm? Because Kyle just did it.

Hmm…

Yes, I seem to remember when I had eaten that mushroom! I was in space, fighting off aliens entering the earth. When my food supplies were low, I accidentally eaten it by accident and I also accidentally manage to accidentally destroy the alien ships which I accidentally collected the pelts of by accident! Though I never would have thought that the accidental effects of this accident mushroom would accidentally affect me now, accidentally.

I also had an accident at school.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Wait what?

Why is my vision suddenly blurring? Eh?

Is this a mind attack by one of those bastard aliens!?

“Accident! This is no time for games! The accident aliens will soon arrive and it may spell out the accidental end of the world! Quickly now! To my horse that I’ve acquired accidentally!”

“…Huh?”

Did a question mark just appeared above accident’s head? No! It’s probably the work of those darn aliens!

We must defend this giant piece of rock!

…Oh no… I tripped.

*Thud*

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

“Ugh! I can’t believe you!” For someone who hasn’t eaten anything for days, you’re still so heavy!”

Eh?

Wait, am I being dragged by a flat chested girl?

Oh wait, that’s Kyle dragging me to the gate.

What the heck happened?

“…What happened?”

I asked softly but it looks like she heard my question because she suddenly dropped my feet.

“You Idiot! You just ate the mushroom you used to threaten me to eat! How in the world did you managed to eat it!?”

“…Huh?”

Her face went full on tomato. Well the reason being isn’t something nice. If she were a volcano, her head would’ve shot of into the stratosphere and a large chunk of magma bursts out of her neck.

“Don’t give me that look you pathetic magician! I never would’ve thought that you’re capable of doing something that stupid!”

She kicked me with all her might but it didn’t hurt for some reason. Oh yeah, I had the pelt hidden under my clothes.

“Alright, I think I got the gist of it. So you say that I ate that hallucinogenic mushroom, right? Then I assume that I did something stupid while I was in the influence that made you angry. Don’t worry, whatever it is, I will not take responsibility.”

And so I calmly and collectively stated but it only made her face turn redder. What’s redder than tomato? Apple, maybe?

“What are you thinking about when you said that you wouldn’t take responsibility!? Also, shouldn’t it be the opposite of that!? God! I’m mad because you made me drag you all the way here!”

“Oh is that it? Then why didn’t you wait for me to wake up?”

“Because I’m extremely hungry! If I had waited for you to wake up, I might have eaten your guts by now!”

“Alright, calm down. I’m awake now so you won’t have to drag me now. We’ll get our reward money and go to the tavern for a meal so stop yelling. We aren’t that far to the Kingdom now so the guards might hear us and put me in jail again for suspicion of sexual harassment.”

She lets out a really long and heavy sigh.

“Just hurry up. At this point I might starve to death.”

“Just wait a sec—“

I stumbled back to my butt after attempting to stand up... Oh no…

“What’s wrong?”

“…My legs are numb…”

And like that, I managed to get orally abused by this girl and suffered through the judgemental stares of the people that we pass by.

(─‿‿─)

The reward for the quest was 50 silver.

To make 1 gold coin, you’ll need 100 silver.

The reward for the quest is half a gold coin.

I first thought that it was good enough and that after this quest we can manage to eat something for two days so we don’t die in a horrible death but that thought might never come through except for the dying in a horrible death part.

The reward promised was 50 silver but we only got 25.

“Why only 25 silver…?”

As Kyle with a broken heart asked the lady responsible for giving the quest and the reward, I laid on the floor, unable to stand.

“Well, since your party member here has a negative reputation, the reward money promised will be halved in the first few quests.”

Yeah, treat every darn adventurer equally she said! Equal my a*s!

As if knowing that she can’t do anything about it, Kyle hesitantly took the money and left while dragging me to the door.

With a tired voice, she asked me:

“…Why did you do it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard you casted a storm spell in the outskirts of the Kingdom. The reason why you have that annoying negative reputation. So why did you do that?”

“…revenge. The plan was so perfect in my head but for some reason it failed.”

“I assume it’s for your former comrades, right?”

“Yeah, why did you ask?”

“They left you, right? Because you’re a lazy piece of trash and merely gave them made-up excuses to why you don’t contribute much during quests. I assume that they joined you only because you showed them that you’re capable of doing advanced magic when in reality, it’s only a combination of basic spells.”

...How did she know?

“…Yeah?”

“They’re pretty lucky that they can leave you so easily anytime. While I can’t leave you since I needed you to do that ‘thing’. If I could though, I would’ve left you in a heartbeat.”

“…So what are you saying? What purpose to why you tell me all of this?”

“You may be a capable magician but holy crap, are you a horrible teammate.”

“…Maybe.”

“But I guess I shouldn’t put all the blame to you. Not like I can finish any quests that requires to hunt moving targets all on my own so we wouldn’t be able to finish this quest without you.”

“You know, you have a weird way of complimenting someone.”

“Hm.”

I wonder why the stars tonight shines brighter than usual?

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

For one I can barely walk now but I need Kyle to support me.

Also, we’re in the tavern eating a roasted steak for dinner. The cheapest meal in this tavern costing about 8 silver. So right now, since we bought two orders of roasted steak, we only have 9 silver.

“…Even though this is roasted, it still taste raw.”

Kyle complained while she struggles to cut the steak in half.

“Get used to it. Since this is the cheapest meal we can buy, we’ll be eating this for a while until we can leisurely buy something we want.

My goal to be one of the richest person in the world is harder to reach than I imagine.

But what’s the fun in it if there’s no challenge to it? I’d like to think of this as a minor hurdle to my goal.

I looked a Kyle and for some reason, she’s staring at me and placing her hand above her head and moving it like she’s saluting.

“What is it?”

“I just noticed now but I seem to be taller than you slightly.”

“If you only noticed now then you’re more stupid that I imagined.”

“Oh? Look who’s talking. Who do you think ate a hallucinogenic mushroom a while ago?”

“I was tempted at the time. I don’t even know why I ate it without thinking.”

“Nice reason, smol magician.”

She flashed a teasing smile at me.

…Why don’t I just say that she’s not with me and force her to pay for the meal herself? After all, I have the reward money…

While I was thinking of a brilliant plan to have her get accused for dine and dash, I heard a talk between two bearded drunkards about the upcoming apocalypse. Looking at Kyle, she seems to take interest in it too. Actually, everyone in the tavern took interest.

“When do you think the seal for the Demon Lord would expire?”

“I heard word that it will expire in matter of a few more years. I think at least 2 years from now.”

“That’s pretty close into the future. I think that’s the reason why meetings between Kings became so frequent.”

“Hopefully they’ll come up with something.”

“Well that’s the only thing we can hold on for. Hope.”

Hmm… I expected it to happen a lot earlier than that…

“…So the seal of the Demon Lord will expire soon… Two years from now… I don’t think that that’s enough time for me to…”

Kyle mumbled to herself.

‘Don’t be so worried about that. It’s not like it’s a week from now. Two years is an awfully long time. Plus, it’s only an estimation. Not like it will happen in that time exactly.”

I nonchalantly told her just to ease her nerves to why she’s so worried about it. It seems to work a little bit

Man, I should get a reward for my good deed.

“What about you? Aren’t you worried about that?”

“I’m more worried about not accomplishing my goal until that happens.”

“…I feel like your goal is something a degenerate would wish for.”

“That’s mean. My goal isn’t something like that.”

After eating our meals, we left the tavern.

Of course I’ve saved some food for my dragon too.