2/30/25 (Well, it should be!)

My back hurts. This is the first case where we should have suffered great losses, but the absurd toughness of the knight armors kept all of the pilots alive. Oh, and those suits they have us wear. I think they worked well at keeping poison from our lungs and other blood-filled vital organs.

I could be quite wrong, but don’t care. At this moment, I only desire to know the rage the demon leaders will feel when all three pilots and knight armors will stand on the field of battle once more. Unfortunately, there seems to be little magic for miraculous healing.

Very fortunately then, that mundane skill has, in the centuries of difference, advanced far enough that these three broken bodies are not resigned to a helpless life.

3/3/25

I suppose I should have seen being shielded from the worst news by well meaning people. Unfortunately, I’ve no real existence beyond what this plan has granted me in this world, and thus I’ve got no choice but to stay on until the end of attacks or the end of me.

Harold is not dead, but he can neither fight nor live on. Jeri is dead. Despite both magic and skill, her lungs were too damaged and so she died in the night.

Also, it seems I’ve gained some additional sensitivity to magic, as I was able to see that weak and subtle effort despite intervening objects and distance.

In better times, I’d have to look into this. Do something about it.

But I can’t manage to focus enough right now. Even this writing is slowed and distract’d by swirling emotions and anger.

I need rest and relax.

3/4/25

I managed some kind of relaxation today. It was the cheap kind that got me scolded, in part because of the laws against it and in part for what my handler called the sheer irresponsibility. I was just hungover enough to not be able to muster a good defense for myself.

But I was able to assure my handler of secrets being kept and the general lack of connecting my misdeeds and my identity. I need to get a new recording device.

I’m not sure of my words of only five minutes ago.

I don’t plan on being this hungover again any time soon, but another device could be useful. I’d want to keep it here.

Or at least not take it with me for reasons of being safer. Not much chance of being blow up, you see.

Tomorrow will suck even more.

3/5/25

I was mostly right. Unfinished knight armor, lots of soldiers, and a marginally prepared demon attack lead to lots and lots of dead soldiers. About as many as the other attacks I’d been recovering though. They had to bomb and shoot it into getting into range where I could beat the beast to death.

Well, death as it applies to demons. Being a warded bull demon of some sort, this one had a much more normal seeming death. Like bashing a bull with stones until it stops moving kind of death.

I forsee a great number of warded demons in the future, all protected against explosives given the horrifying effects slightly magical ones had on the knight armors.

I really wish I could have more sleep.

3/6/25

New recruits. What surprises me isn’t that they had new recruits, but that they were waiting on a compatible knight armor to be finished before bringing them in. Literally the whole time things have been going to hell here, they had more people already ready and waiting.

The only reason I’m not absolutely furious is because I was informed of the armor they’d been trained in. The most complete one here would have done something to them. I haven’t had the time to do proper calculations for what would happen (or totally forgot if I did) but it would be pretty bad.

I mean, each knight armor is, in my current estimate, using numbers that look like the answer for a beginner’s first ‘find what is wrong in this equation’ question.

At least I managed to get a good look at the core of the knight armor because of that last fight. It’s still all a mystery to me, but it’s a big steel ball that somehow generates far too much magic. More guessing here, about a quarter of the output to keeping it from sinking or falling apart, another quarter goes to making sure every electric thing has power before it needs it, and I’d guess that all but the last tenth or so probably goes to the very inefficient anti-demon methods it has to be employing.

On the one hand, a great deal of that power could be diverted to prevent something like the sleeping wave from happening again. On the other, I’m not sure exactly what those anti-demon measures are. It could be partial warding, forcing each demon that arrives to waste large amounts of energy on manifesting, resulting in much easier victories for us because of the lack of powers and tricks the demons should be able to use.

I don’t even know what I need to sneak into at this point. Do I need to see a heart being made? Are there inscriptions hidden in the many, many parts that make up a knight armor? Are there designs that only come together when it’s finalized?

Too many unknown questions.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

3/7/25

On the one hand, I don’t get the reference and it only gets me cold and wet. On the other, it’s at least getting me half the attention I need for a blessing ritual for the three of us. And on the wing and tail, it’s kinda strange getting attention like this.

I guess there are people with twin fetishes (fraternal in this case) that would be shouting at me for not pursuing this as aggressively as I can. I guess the unexpected normalcy of this situation is the other half of what’s kind of putting me off?

It’s hard to put in words while distracted.

Picking back up now. After the sudden death of Harold and Jeri, I’ve decided to put a bit more into describing my new teammates, the Addison twins. (Note, make a recording and find a safe-ish place to keep it.)

Ben Addison is a tall guy; foot and some change taller than I am (is that the right phrase? I think so.). Fits well with having a tall sister. He’s also the one that did the cold water splash as some kind of reference or joke. Need to ask about that later. Black hair, brown eyes. Strongly built. Probably in some kind of sport before he became a pilot. (Is it too much to hope he was in a combative one?)

Odette Addison isn’t quite as tall as her brother, but it could be the hair misleading me. Hers is long and let down, his isn’t very long but it’s pointed or spiked up depending on the day. She had what I’ve heard called a gymnast's build, but more muscled. Same hair color and eyes as her brother, other than some decorative streaks she ended up getting because of losing a bet.

And while I know that both of them are considered at least somewhat attractive because of how others have reacted to them, I really don’t see it. I mean, it’s not like they have ugly faces or anything like that. It’s just, they’re a bit.

They’ve got the better kind of worker’s body but more extreme, somehow are pale, and all together it’s really throwing me.

Not that anyone would really get to read this entry to know.

I like to think that most of my confusion has been easily passed off as being a bit unsure how to react to being one’s fetish and the other going along with it semi-interestedly.

No, I hope that’s what’s going on.

3/8/25

The Addison twins seemed very interested in better group bonding, now that I’ve gotten to know them better. I’m very much not counting on mundane life or demon battling allowing it to happen as quickly as I’d like (for one, I often have to get them on task for school things because that’s apparently part of my new duties as a survivor).

However, it won’t matter much until we have enough knight armors for all of us to go out and fight, so I can at least justify waiting. Or at least have two with hopes of another passing through soon.

That’s almost as good and I’m glad because it’s what I’m being forced to work with.

Also, this line of complaint reminds me. The Addison twins are both using male type knight armors. It seems that the change from male to female armor causes harm, but as long as one stays with the type they’d started using, that doesn’t matter.

Definitely not something I’d foreseen, but that was fine. I wasn’t my master, after all. Hell, even she didn’t specialize in enchanting, which I think is the area this problem mostly lies in.

The newest armor is called Chevalier Vert and its twin is Chevalier Rouge. They are to be very similar, standing 22 feet tall and looking like armored knights. Admittedly, like no armored knight I’d seen before, but I can make allowances for things like guns, not having to actually protect flesh so closely, and not being able to have horses.

In order, I have a fondness for guns and more of them is better, the rounds aren’t round enough and the sharps too extreme but without flesh I guess that works, and I can only imagine how much worse things would be if somebody had to be a horse. The jokes would never end, and gods forbid that the horse-pilot actually have some relationship with the rider-pilot.

Also, Benjamin (his sister insists that he be called using his full name after some slight she saw and I didn’t, so I’m doing it here until I can find out what) is at least getting to enjoy what happens when I get through using Chevalier Vert.

I am also enjoying not changing as often; the extra energy is useful even if it means needing some kind of breast support.

Incidentally, today I discovered the new classification of the corset and the new bit of clothing called the brassiere.

Variety, cheapness, support. If I have a way between worlds, this would be the other product to bring back. No, it could be the product to bring back. Unlike milk, it wouldn’t spoil. Also, I know of a bigger market, at least in terms of who would think they’d be able to afford it.

I should, perhaps, look into ways to sneak one sized for master. I think she’d need a custom made one.

3/9/25

I was right and wrong yesterday. There was a demon attack today. This one was only difficult because it was able to fly. It eventually was shot enough by guns and skewered enough by suppressed missiles that it fell and got banished by being held to the ground.

There was a good bit of destruction caused by lightning strikes, but it seems that buildings now are slightly more able to resist being burned than what I’m used to. There was this one barn that didn’t make it at all, but other than that the buildings are standing, mostly whole.

My mistake was thinking that I’d need to get custom work for a bra for master. It seems that sizes like Henrietta had were common enough to have a standard size, but not common enough to be physically stocked. Order online, and there it was.

I also discovered the offense Ben had committed. Well, it was more a bit of miscommunication. I’d mentioned that sitting in his seat so much would end up making my breasts bigger. The his was the knight armor and that was true. The long waits before had shown that this was true for me sitting in a male armor, with less noticeable growths when the situation was me sitting in a female armor.

My guess was that it was either making me more virile or would only show when erect, and in the last chance I’d had, I was too tired to find out. Would have made for a hilarious show for the coroner if the size increase was just as proportionate.

Back to the previous topic. Odette happened to have mistaken that for me being tricked by her brother. I’m not sure how I’d be tricked into that, or what Ben would get out of it. They’ve both seen me naked from the waist up plenty, and unless they’ve got the worst memories of all time, have felt me plenty while joking around. I suppose the answer’s something fetish based or otherwise something I don’t know.

But in any case it’s been cleared up and I got to feel good being peace maker.

3/9/25 sudden addition

Hit me before I fell asleep. My cover was being a sheltered or something farm girl. I guess something about that was why. Need to investigate further. Remember to copy this voice message when I wake up.

3/10/25

Another day, another lesson done. I got asked by the twins how I could manage to be so calm and focused on day-to-day things after such a horrible attack. I was able to basically B.S. a better answer than “It went better than I was expecting once I saw it fly” once I was able to delay the answer until after eating.

I’m not sure how, it was all very off the top of my head and I also turned off my phone and other recording device to show that I was being very serious about this. So I don’t have much record of what I said and it was all a rush of passion that I can’t quite get back again.

Still, while it may not have lifted their spirits, it at least got their focus back now that they’d had time to lose it.

I also got them to agree to try my relaxation method. Now I just need to work the ritual into it and I’ve got gold.

Time to shop around and see what I’m able to get.

Most of the herbals were easy enough to get, but they’re also the least important part; all focus aids and nothing actually helpful. Gold was hard to get, but I managed enough through getting jewelry. As for magic, I had to improvise. Properly enchanting it was out of my league by lightyears (which is itself part of an amazing concept that I can only accept because the math staggers me in such a way that it seems to be right and is also consistent with experiments I was able to find).

So I went and improvised in a rather basic way. Blood and growth did it.

I’m going to have to hope for another clear day, demon-wise. The improv won’t last a full day. It probably just will last long enough to be used tomorrow.