Rhenor was starting to hate himself a little. It had been at least an hour since they'd all woken up that morning, and he'd still not managed to get himself to have a talk with Kaz about everything that had happened.

He just couldn't help but feel incredibly awkward discussing it with Elaya around, and while Rhen would have just excused himself and taken Kaz to the side somewhere under normal circumstances, they were in unfamiliar territory, and they needed to stick together until they were sure there was nothing dangerous around. Maybe it was paranoid, but it was how he felt.

As much as Rhen disliked the somewhat awkward energy between him and Kaz, if them talking things out could result in the dragon getting hurt again, Rhenor wasn't sure what he'd do. He realized that all of that was just half the truth and that to some extent he was just avoiding talking about this, but that changed nothing about separating right now being dangerous.

Rhenor let out a sigh, adding another log to their campfire, as next to him Kaz laughed at something Elaya said. Rhen couldn't help but feel a little guilty for tuning out the conversation, but he couldn't seem to help it tonight.

"I miss riding around on your shoulder," Kaz told Elaya, his eyes hooded with nostalgia while Rhenor blinked at him a few times. Had he misheard him? Surely, he must have misheard him.

Apparently noticing his bafflement, Elaya grinned at him and explained: "Kaz used to be really little. When we met, he was barely bigger than a cat."

"I was bigger than that," Kaz immediately argued, frowning and huddling deeper into Rhen's coat.

But not even the sight of him pouting was enough for Rhen to properly focus on him right now. Kaz had been as big as a what now?

"A big cat. If you spread your wings," Elaya teased, her smile growing. And Rhenor felt as if he understood absolutely nothing about the world. He didn't like how often that feeling came about since he'd met Kaz.

"Are you saying young dragons are that small?" Rhenor had never thought of what a baby dragon would look like, but he'd never imagined them cat-sized. The mental image of Elaya carrying Kaz of that size on her shoulders was very endearing, though, he couldn't lie.

"We hatch that small, give or take," Kaz replied, his eyes firmly trained on the grass around him as he brought one of his hands out from beneath the coat and scratched the back of his neck. "Some of us...take a while longer to grow than others."

Rhenor wanted to laugh at how adorable this all was, but he knew Kaz was embarrassed, and he might interpret it as Rhen mocking him. So instead, he moved closer to the dragon and put an arm around him. To his relief, Kaz leaned against him immediately, his tense shoulders relaxing a little.

"You were adorable," Elaya assured him, still smiling, and even though Kaz huffed, there was a smile tugging on his lips too. Rhen could see it clearly now that they were so close together.

He was still very confused, though. How quickly had Kaz grown if he was as huge as he was now? If he had been small for a significant amount of time, then he must have grown rapidly in only a few years. "How old are you, anyway, Kaz?"

Kaz's eyes went wide, staring at Rhen as his cheeks flushed. That was a much stronger reaction than Rhenor had been expecting. Had he said something wrong? Was it rude to ask a dragon their age?

"Uh...." Kaz shot a nervous look at Elaya, who raised her eyebrows at him. "Thir...ty?"

Rhen frowned, confused again. He'd thought the dragon was younger, but judging by the way Kaz had said it, it was a lie. The question was why Kaz had felt a need to lie if doing it this way could even be called lying.

"Dragons mature more slowly than we do," Elaya told Rhen before giving Kaz a meaningful look. Then she turned her gaze back to Rhenor. "And they count the time before they hatch, too."

Rhen was still not sure he was following what she was trying to say, but before he could ask, Kaz sighed.

"I'm actually fifty," he said glumly, hugging the cloak closer to himself. And once again Rhenor could only sit there, shocked at the revelation.

Fifty? That simply made no sense to him, not when Rhen looked at Kaz's youthful face, or when he thought of his cheery, energetic disposition. A creature like Kaz couldn't be fifty years old in Rhenor's mind, not in the human sense of what that age meant, anyway.

"Counting the eleven years in an egg," Elaya added. She was looking at Kaz with a very neutral expression, too neutral for her, but every so often her eyes would flick over to Rhen as if trying to figure out his reaction. She must have thought he'd not take it well, which was certainly not something Rhenor liked, even though he understood why she might think so.

No matter how strange it was to try to think about Kaz's age, it changed nothing. And Rhenor needed to say that. He needed to make a habit of saying these things.

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"That doesn't matter to me, Kaz."

The dragon looked up at him, one eyebrow quirked up in doubt. "Are you sure? Humans tend to care. Even Elaya found it...strange at first."

"I was eight when you told me, Kaz," Elaya reminded him immediately, her voice gentle, but with a slight edge of annoyance to it. Rhen wondered how old Kaz had been back then. Elaya looked a few years over twenty, so if Kaz was fifty now, Rhenor fully understood why she would have found his age disconcerting back then.

Rhen shrugged. "It's a little—" He paused to consider his words. "Odd, yes, but it doesn't bother me." Kaz still looked a little doubtful, but he did seem to relax once again. Rhenor tightened his hold on the dragon a little. "I do have questions about how all of this works, though."

Kaz's cheeks went red once more. "Uh, right. I forget you don't know much about dragons."

No, Rhenor truly didn't, did he? It had never occurred to him to think about any of these things before. But now that he was with Kaz he wanted to know.

"What would you like to know?" Kaz asked him, an uncomfortable grimace tugging down the corners of his mouth. He must have thought that Rhenor would judge him or not accept him. That by itself would be reason enough to learn more about dragons—to show Kaz it wouldn't bother him.

He just couldn't figure out what to ask first.

"How long does it take you until you are fully grown?" That was not the best question he could have asked, as it wasn't that interesting, he was sure, but he did wonder about it.

Kaz frowned. "Well, if you mean when we reach adulthood, then around forty. But we never actually stop growing."

"You...." Rhenor raised his eyebrows. He'd certainly not been expecting that. "Really? But you are so large already."

Kaz chewed on his lip. "Does that bother you?"

Rhenor almost sighed, but he stopped himself at the last second. He didn't want Kaz to think he was irritated with him, but it was difficult not to feel a bit frustrated with how shaky the communication between them had become.

"No, it doesn't bother me. I was just surprised," he assured Kaz. "In fact, I find your true form rather...impressive."

If this were a different situation, Rhen would have no doubt burst out laughing at the baffled look Kaz was giving him. The dragon's eyes were wide, his eyebrows had disappeared beneath his hair, and his mouth hung open ever so slightly. It was truly comical to see. Or it would be if guilt and self-loathing weren't clawing at Rhenor's inside for making Kaz think he hated him.

"You do?"

"Yes, of course," Rhen replied as easily as he was able, which Kaz responded to by continuing to stare at him in shock.

At least he wasn't sad for the moment.

"Oh," Kaz finally said after a moment filled only with the crackling of burning wood. Then he blushed again, a small, abashed smile creeping onto his face. "Really?"

This time Rhen did laugh. He leaned in and kissed Kaz's temple before he even had the time to realize he'd never actually done that before. It had been so easy, though, so natural. He would certainly like to do it more often, especially if that soft, happy grin currently gracing Kaz's face would appear every time after.

It did falter a second later, though, replaced by an embarrassed frown. "This whole time I thought you hated when I...looked like that." He groaned. "Sorry."

Kaz shook his head as if disappointed with himself for even thinking that, but he had every reason to interpret Rhenor's reaction to his true form as him hating seeing it, which meant that Rhen just felt more irritated with himself.

He was the idiot here, not Kaz.

"No, Kaz, I'm the one who should be sorry," Rhenor found himself saying before he'd had the time to figure out what exactly to say, unable to stand looking at Kaz blaming himself. But he supposed there was no going back now, so he might as well go all in.

Kaz was now looking at him with his big eyes full of confusion, which meant that he had to talk now before the dragon could interject. "I've gone my whole life thinking all dragons are evil. I now know that is not true, but it will take me a little time to get it through my head, still." Kaz opened his mouth, no doubt about to excuse it, but Rhenor continued before he could say anything. "So, I am sorry if I tense up around you when you are in your dragon form, or if I accidentally say something without thinking it through. Just know that I don't mean it, not truly, and that I am trying to get over myself."

Kaz's gaze turned almost pitying, which was strange enough to make Rhenor pause for long enough for Kaz to finally speak.

"It's okay, Rhen, I understand. I won't take on that form except for when we need to fly somewhere."

Rhen shook his head, grabbing Kaz's shoulders and moving him enough so they could properly look into each other's eyes. "It is not okay. None of it is okay. You are far too quick to take on the blame."

Kaz's shoulder slumped. "Well, I hate making people uncomfortable."

Rhenor almost laughed at that, though he was not certain what he found so humorous about it. He pulled Kaz into an embrace, his heart doing a flip when he felt the dragon move closer on his own, squeezing himself against Rhen's chest.

"If it helps, I find your size more daunting than the reminder that you are a dragon," Rhenor said, his tone lighthearted to put Kaz at ease. Though it was true. Kaz's dragon body was massive, much bigger than any living creature Rhen had ever seen. It was certainly discomforting to some extent because of that alone.

"I'd never hurt you," Kaz mumbled from where he had his head buried in the crook of Rhenor's neck. Rhen smiled to himself. He got the feeling Kaz wouldn't hurt anyone outside of extreme circumstances, but it was sweet of him to say that, nonetheless. Rhenor would love to say the same to him—Kaz deserved that and more—but he didn't feel comfortable doing it, not after he'd hurt Kaz with his words more than a few times. It hadn't been intentional, of course, but that didn't excuse it.

"I know," he finally said, settling on that rather than voicing any of the things swirling around in his head. Kaz pulled away a little to give Rhen a small smile, and while Rhenor immediately missed the physical contact, he couldn't help but get lost in Kaz's warm eyes a little. Whether man or dragon, those eyes were the same, even if his true self's irises were a little more vibrant, and his pupil was a thin line, it changed nothing about them somehow.

"So where should we—" Kaz cut himself off as he looked over at Elaya, and Rhenor automatically did the same thing, feeling a bit embarrassed that he'd completely forgotten she was here with them until now. But as soon as he looked at where she had been, his eyes grew wide. The spot where she'd been sitting was empty, the only evidence of her previous presence the imprint in the grass.

"Uh, Rhen? Where's Elaya?"