Chapter Seven

“Um,” Anne said.

She stared at the food sitting on the plate that Elain’e had set before her. There was a potato. It was steaming and warm. Next to that was a carrot, also warm-looking, and a cup of water.

Elain’e winced. “That’s not exactly a heroic meal, is it?” she asked.

“Is this what you eat normally?” Anne asked.

“Hmm? Oh, no,” Elain’e said. “No, no, my Grand-Patriarch and I have our own, uh, special diet.” She raised her hands, almost in surrender. “Don’t worry, you don’t need to partake in that. Or be partaken of.”

“Oh...kay,” Anne said. She looked around the richly appointed rooms that Elain’e had shown her to. The decor was a little drab, with darker colours being more common than not, but the room still felt luxurious. The bed was a huge four-poster, off in a smaller room to the side and she had her own washroom and powder room as well as a living space with a few books and some bright lanterns hanging from the ceiling.

She took in the richness of the room, then stared at the plate Elain’e had brought, with its lonesome potato and sad little carrot. There was a serious and obvious mis-match in quality.

“Elain’e, sweetie. While eating your veggies is wonderful, this... isn’t very healthy in the long run.”

“No no, we... Lady Hero, Anne. You do know what I am, don’t you?” Elain’e asked.

“A very nice young lady?” Anne tried.

Elain’e stared at her. “I thought you knew. The pale skin, the gaunt features, my eternal youth... or perhaps I’ve made a great mistake and there are none like us where you’re from?”

“There are lots of smart young ladies where I’m from,” Anne said.

“I’m a vampire,” Elain’e said.

Anne stared. “Well... yes, now that you mention it, all the signs are there. Though, I’m not sure if I actually believe it. Um, not that I’d accuse you of lying or anything,” Anne said. She gnawed at her lower lip, then clapped her hands. “That’s it. There has to be a kitchen here?”

“We have a kitchen, yes,” Elain’e said.

“Then we’re going to do some baking.”

“Baking?” Elain’e asked.

Anne nodded. “Yes. Baking. I don’t think I’ve needed some cookies this badly since. Oh, since Jake was still in my tummy. Come on, it’s nothing too complicated.”

Anne stepped out of her rooms, and Elain’e followed after her, even when she started to walk down the corridor only for Elain’e to helpfully point out that the kitchens were in the other direction.

The interior of the castle wasn’t entirely free of decorations. There were shields on racks on the walls, with swords hooked behind them, and there was a well-worn rug running down the centre of the corridors they took towards the kitchens.

Anne followed after Elain’e but she split her attention to stare at her chat. The chat was getting more and more active, even though she wasn’t doing anything interesting. There were people repeating the same things, and sometimes asking her questions.

She was... a little reluctant to answer them, but maybe if they asked something appropriate she might reply. So far a lot of the questions had been downright rude.

Twinge Chat! Forrest Andar says: Did they put the astroid in space? MultipleChoice says: I’m looking forward to the possibility of an astroid base Gabriel minoru says: lmao He Who Travels the Stories says: To the tournament: For honor! For glory! For the obligatory tournament arc! Qmills88 says: To the tournament: For honor! For glory! For the obligatory tournament arc! Xxcoder says: Bring back the bot! Branding says: Why did a mom get isekai’d? SkippyRebo says: Anne seems overwhelmed. CorrectedHorse says: Skill hug has upgraded! Hoduka Dakokty says: Pog Phantomxz says: Hey what kind of food do you like? Grimjawfury says: Where’s the robot girl?

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Anne fixated on the one question she could answer. “The kinds of foods I like?” she asked aloud.

The chat immediately devolved into a bunch of people reacting to... her reaction, essentially. It was a little strange to have so many people paying attention to her. There were nearly a hundred of them!

“Are you talking to the... chat thing?” Elain’e asked.

“I am,” Anne said. “They asked me what sort of foods I like. Um. I like mostly simple, nice things. Roasts, with some healthy greens. It’s easy to make. Oh, and I make a mean shepherd's pie, and my double chocolate chip cookies have been very, very popular at every local bake sale, you know?”

“If you say so,” Elain’e said.

Anne reached over and ruffled the girl’s hair. Her head pressed up against the contact for a moment before Elain’e flinched and turned her head away.

“That was inappropriate, Miss Anne. I’m a lady of the court, not your daughter.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Anne said. “I won’t do it again.”

Elain’e crossed her arms. “It’s fine. You’re forgiven.”

The kitchens, as it turned out, were quite expansive, and quite empty. They were well-maintained, but it was clear from from a sniff that nothing more complicated than a baked potato had been made there in some time.

“Oh, I do hope there are ingredients around.”

“I think we keep the pantry stocked. It isn’t common, but on occasion we will have a guest from one of the other clans ruling over Not Evilia. We will often hire some cooks and order additional provisions if they will stay for an extended period, otherwise, we keep the pantry filled with necessities.”

Anne found a box that let out cool air when she opened it. There were some glass bottles of milk within, next to even more gladd bottles filled with some reddish liquid she didn’t touch. “Oh, and this must be the flour... yes. Now, where are the eggs?”

“I think they’re here,” Elain’e said as she opened a cupboard.

“Well done!” Anne said. “You can be my sous-chef!”

“Um... well, I suppose it will be like alchemy practice.”

“That’s the spirit,” Anne said. “Baking is its own sort of magic, you know?”

“If you say so.”

Anne set everything out on one of the long counters in the middle of the room. For all that it was rather rustic, the kitchen had a nice floorplan. She was quite envious of that. “Right, we need to get that oven preheated... somehow. I’ve never worked with a wood oven before, so it will be a bit touch and go. Then we need... ah, that’s where the bowls are. Yes, this will work out just fine. Now, if only I had an apron.”

“I there there are some over--” Elain’e began. She stopped when a card appeared before Anne who caught it out of the air and stared at it.

“The Apron of M.I.L.F.,” she read. The card had a diamond-like border, and was much nicer than any of those she had handled so far. The image was of a very nice apron, held over the empty as as if the invisible person wearing it was caught mid-twirl, and smaller text below the name spelled out its title. Multiple Independent Life-preserving Functions. “Oh! Thank you boys, that’s very nice of you,” she said to the chat.

“May I see that?” Elain’e asked. She was on tippy-toes next to Anne to see the card.

Anne handed it over for her to inspect it, and the girl’s eyebrows shot up as she did.

“A diamond-bordered card for an apron. That must be a uniquely powerful item,” Elain’e said.

“It seems nice,” Anne said. She took the card, concentrated, then cast the apron. It appeared over her hand, and she caught it was quick as she could.

The apron was a pleasant pastel pink, with cute little ruffles along the edges. It had the words Your son called me Mommy too written on the front, which she found a little gauche, but also a little funny. She spun it around and looped it around her neck before tying it around her waist with practiced ease.

“That’ll help. Now, let’s bake us some cookies, shall we, Miss Elain’e?”

***

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