I waded out and hauled the boat ashore with Cassie still in it. She really was wearing makeup. I don’t think I’d have realized it unless Mandy had pointed it out; I’m not good with that stuff. “Good afternoon,” I said.

Her mouth was a long flat line of misery, her eyebrows up in fearful arch. She was just as I remembered, right down to the blonde bob. She was haggard, terrified. I had to remember that she and I hadn’t met yet, despite my having watched her and her boyfriend die. And where was Armand?

“I’m Owen,” I said. “I’m the Steward, a kind of janitor here. I want you to feel like you’re welcome.”

“A janitor?” She said doubtfully, looking at the crazy moving tattoos on my arms and chest.

“I know, I look weird. Everyone here looks weird. Nobody will hurt you. I think Gary has some traps set up still, but stay on the paths and you’ll be okay.”

“O-okay.” She was standing on the beach, taking it all in. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. Her hand trembled.

Scared. No good. “Radio, can you get Schmendrick down here? We need a mascot character.”

“Mascot? Schmendrick?” Cassie shakily wiped at her eye. A faint dark smear marked the skin of her face, her makeup running.

“She’ll be down here in a minute. Uh…How was your trip? We tried to make it safe. Are you thirsty? Hungry?”

She shook her head rapidly and looked longingly back at the boat I’d dragged to the beach.

“Nobody’s keeping you here, Cassie. You can leave whenever you like.”

She snapped to attention, blue eyes boring into mine. “You know my name.”

“Yes. I knew you before. Do you know what I mean?”

She nodded rapidly, still shaking. “I…Doctor Harrigan…he, and the rest–”

“Girl Human!” screamed Schmendrick as she came charging from the jungle. She bounced up and down on her muscular legs, wiggling in place excitedly. Her belly was rounder than ever, but she was quick and agile and a very cute alien monster. Her white fur gleamed with good health, and her ears flagged wildly.

Cassie’s jaw dropped. She stepped back, away, into the water.

“Cassie, this is Schmendrick. She’s in charge around here.”

Schmendrick carefully approached. She was no dummy, and could see Cassie was terrified. She stopped a few feet away and lay on the ground. “People don’t pet me enough,” she complained.

Cassie was spellbound. She went down on one knee, very slowly. She stretched a hand towards Schmendrick, who shoved her head into Cassie’s palm.

“Schmendrick’s going to be a mommy,” I said. “In a few days, any minute, almost.”

Cassie got a little bolder, stroking Schmendrick’s back and tail. The little alien shoved her rump at the girl, giving her dirty looks when she stopped petting the right areas. As Schmendrick worked her magic, Cassie lightened up. What might have been a smile began peeking out from behind her terror.

Schmendrick turned her long face to Cassie. “I don’t want to walk anymore today,” she said imperiously.

A full grin spread on Cassie’s haggard face with its smeared makeup. “Okay, can I pick you up?”

“It’s why you’re here!” Schmendrick said with authority, and climbed into Cassie’s arms.

“Schmendrick, is it okay if I show Cassie something important? You can come with her and protect her from me.”

“Follow Owen,” Schmendrick commanded. “Killing him would be very easy for either of us.”

When we were in the Observatory dome, I stopped in front of my workbench. It was the closest thing I had to a space of my own around here, one that wasn’t full of alien creatures and their various projects.

Speaking of which: Cassie’s eyes were huge, and her mouth hung open. She watched the Gardeners, the Bees, the Makers and Cazadores bustling about. She was hugging Schmendrick tight like a teddy bear.

I reached into one of the dozens of little drawers in the workbench. I set the finger bones on the table: Cassie and Armand.

“Everything here, all you see, all the guys flying around and doing their thing? This is because of Cassie and Armand. I was able to get away from Harrigan’s place with the help of Cassie Nillson and Armand Fonesca.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

And I told her all of it.

She watched me, saying nothing. Once a tear slipped out; she distractedly wiped it with the end of Schmendrick’s furry tail, which then carried dark smears of mascara.

“I don’t know what you want to do,” I said. “You’re free to leave or stay, we have lots of space and plenty to eat. We could use your help around here, as long as you like gardening, fishing, mad science, making stuff, carrying pregnant Schmenrdrick around, things like that.”

“She chooses to stay,” Schmendrick said. She licked another tear from Cassie’s face, then made a horrible gagging noise. “Greasy,” she scolded.

“It’s concealer, expired about twenty years ago,” Cassie said distractedly.

“Schmendrick, will you please be Cassie’s friend? See that she gets whatever she wants. She’s a brave human and needs someone to pet, okay?”

“I don’t understand any of what you said to her,” Schmendrick said. “But yes. Cassie Human! Now we eat!”

As they left, Schmendrick craned her pointy head so she could meet my eyes over Cassie’s retreating shoulder. It was a very deliberate, understandable gesture. Her ears performed a complex twitchy semaphore.

Some Observations on the afternoon:

1. Art Deco and Gary were discussing something, and it was getting Gary down that he couldn’t convey what he wanted to Art. I showed him how to form vague equivalents for the glyphs Fool and Incompetent using his own five limbs. It seemed to solve the problem.

2. Sean was completely silent in his containment ring. Did he ever sleep? I listened for ghostly snoring, but one needs a physical throat for that, I think.

3. Schmendrick took good care of Cassie. Soon the whole pack was following her around, yapping and demanding to be petted, shouting that they loved her. Cassie looked okay, not afraid. They disappeared into the Observatory, apparently to find a place Cassie could sleep.

I needed to think.

I loitered around Gary and Art until they asked me what the problem was. I told them. In minutes I had a serviceable surfboard. It wasn’t varnished, and hardly sanded at all, but I liked the rough feel of the wood. No splinters yet.

Okay. Okay.

I went to the side of the Observatory where the breakers were striking, rolling in from the West. They were nicely sized, forming pipelines now and then. Excellent. And the clear water was incredible, like surfing on a constantly shifting jewel.

Nobody could get at me out here. I could think. I went in, out, in. Meditative. The board was absurdly buoyant, made of alien wood, and it was a good ride despite being built by two non-surfing non-human craftsmen.

“How did the invasion go?”

“Disappointing. I made too much food.” I sat up and looked around for a luscious chubby naked girl in the surf. Nothing; too bad, the water was very, very clear. “The Radio said you won?”

“Yep, gotta recharge after that fight,” she said. Her voice was nowhere, everywhere. Nothing like the Copycat Eel; she just sounded like Mandy. “Wanted to check in, though. Did you get any fallout from the big bad monster guy?”

“Nope, none at all. Thank you once again for saving us. The invasion, right…the invader girl is named Cassie. Poor kid was terrified. I turned Schmendrick loose on her, and she seems to be feeling better.”

“She’s gotta be scared,” she said thoughtfully.

“I think…she’s in a tough spot. She didn’t want to come here, to do whatever mission she’s been forced into.”

There was a long pause. “What do you think her mission is?” She was speaking slowly, cautiously.

“I don’t know. She and her boyfriend were killed when we left Harrigan’s place. We all owe her a lot here.”

“Owen.”

“Mandy.”

“She came across the ocean. Wearing makeup. Looking as cute as she could look under the circumstances. Without her boyfriend, just her. Sent by the good Doctor himself, because he thinks she’s the prettiest prettiest girl.”

“Compared to who,” I began…then…”Oh.”

Instead of a bunch of beefy dudes with baseball bats, Harrigan sent her to me. His idea of the prettiest prettiest girl. “Oh.”

“He finally gets it. Never occurred to you?”

I shook my head. A single tear ran down the side of my nose. I wiped it angrily, flinging it away. Pounded my fist on the new surfboard. I wanted Mandy to go away.

But nope, she was still lurking about. “You okay?”

Shook my head again. “Cassie and Armand, they died escaping with me. I couldn’t save them. They should be here, playing Robinson Crusoe and making out with each other all the time. ” I pounded the board again, once. “They should be here. Instead of me.”

“You did your best. I’m sorry, I … wish I’d been there. I might have been able…”

“Don’t you start.”

“Then don’t YOU start!”

I shook my head again. Enough with the…whatever this was. Now I was getting angry for other reasons. “She was my friend and he just threw her across the ocean. Like a dead fish for a trained seal. And Harrigan’s got Armand, I’m betting, in a horrible position, to force her to do it.” I blew air from my nostrils like a big dumb bull. “To make me behave.”

She was quiet a long time. “Doesn’t sound like it worked.”

I laughed. “Sorry. You don’t need to see me like this.”

“Seen worse.” A smile entered her voice. “I can’t believe i had to explain it to you. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.”

“That’s me. I want to stop this, Mandy. I’m betting the guys will want that too. Will you help us?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”