Emil is just an ordinary guy with an outlook on life that could be considered abnormal in some cases or extraordinary if applied correct to his benefit. But the problem is that when he has these ideas in his mind that could benefit him greatly, it's either his subconcious or his lack of foundation in doing things for himself because of the emptiness that he tries to fill in his everyday life to keep him afloat for current existence. It's not that he can't do it, it's that he was never taught to be so sure in his actions, or the will to keep on trying regardless of failure. He's just afraid what he can do if he can, because if it works, then that's good but subconciously he will pressure himself to fail regardless whether he wants to or not, not because he can't overcome them, it's just there's no out there to be patient with, guide him in how to live his life independantly. Which to him, puts him a very negative way of compromising himself, never to be able to leave the shadows of his heart.

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That's why one day, when he fully discovered his own faults, imperfections, limitations, he becomes fully aware that the solution is omniscience. Now that is quite impossible to reach for all sentient beings in the universe. But emil doesn't want to take that kind of knowledge for himself. No, he wants to help himself first to slowly become the person he saw best to overcome anything regardless if bad or good. Just that emil wants to feel connected to everything throught space,time, reality,dimensions, etc. Because for him that kind of interconnectedness will make his soul feel whole again, his heart healed and made stronger than before, his mind free of worries and able to think properly for his situations with confidence. 

And that day was NOW