“We should rest.” Isabel glanced at Mila, who was still a bit disoriented. “This place is as good as any other.”
Mila glanced around. Isabel was right. This patch of forest was the same as the one before. It was evening again, and they were on the run as before.
And this wasn’t sustainable. Mila glanced at Andrew’s gaunt face. He had been grieving. The last night had been bad for him. Of the three of them, he alone had not resolved himself before killing another human. Or, in his case - giving the order. Even Mr Crow’s chirping and the Wolf’s silent acceptance didn’t help.
Mila didn’t even try to cheer him up. She didn’t know how, and to be honest, she felt sick in her stomach as well, albeit for a different reason.
They stopped and dropped their few belongings. Mila was grateful Hanna had given them the bare minimum. She didn’t have to. Mila suspected Hanna had only helped because they had brought news of Silinth’s demise and was too shocked to deny the help.
After waking up and talking with the woman, the trio soon found themselves back on the road with a new target in mind. They had to find Kefo and Tiff.
Silinth had given them the task to go to their ancestral home, whatever that was.
Of course, the trio did not know where it was, and neither did Hanna, but she knew someone who could help. So they headed out…
No, they were thrown out. Despite Hanna helping them, it was also clear she didn’t want anything to do with them any longer.
Mila started to prepare the sleeping bag. She needed a rest. Her body was more unruly than usual. Despite the sizable increase in her mana pool, she was spent. Her eyes wandered to where Isabel was doing the same.
After returning the weak smile Isabel sent, Mila felt even worse.
It was Isabel’s choice to come. Without her, Mila would likely not have gotten out, but…
Mila felt like a scum. Because of her choices, Isabel had dirtied her hands with blood. No matter how she rationalised, it didn’t change the fact she had led her girl to kill.
Sure, Isabel had reassured Mila that she was fine, but there was no way it was true.
“Good night.” Andrew suddenly disturbed Mila’s thought process. Mr Crow rose to the sky, and the wolf wandered towards the thick of the forest. They were on guard duty for the night.
“Good night, Andrew.” Isabel returned before glancing at Mila. She moved her sleeping bag closer to Mila’s.
Mila did the same. Isabel… No, they both needed the presence of the other. Maybe Andrew did, too, but he made no indications of it. He was content to suffer alone for now.
Once Mila’s and Isabel’s sleeping bags were next to each other, she finally crawled inside it. Only then did she open her mouth to speak. “Isabel?”
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“Hmm?” Isabel was currently looking up at the sky. Or at least the slivers of what was visible through the canopy.
“I am sorry.” A quiet, barely audible whisper was all Mila managed. The feeling of dirtiness didn’t leave her.
Mila had… Done something terrible. Not only to Isabel and Andrew but in general. It was a hard pill to swallow.
A part of her didn’t want to admit it. Mila felt her mind wrestle with the idea. It would have likely taken longer for her to realise the horrifying truth about her actions, but…
In the dreamscape, the presence finally had a shape. Still barely visible, but palpable.
And it had made it clear Mila had gone too far. Not by speaking, but the disappointment and reproach was there.
“There is nothing to be sorry about.” Isabel returned the whisper and joined Mila by wriggling inside her sleeping bag. She turned to face her girlfriend and continued. “It was… Well, I- I don’t regret the choice I made.” She reached out and caressed Mila’s cheek. “I am just afraid.”
Mila pulled her hand out of the bag and put it on Isabel’s.
Isabel let out a sigh filled with sadness. “I am afraid I won’t be able to sleep for a while. The sights…”
“I am here.” Mila grabbed Isabel’s hand and squeezed. She pulled it towards her lips and kissed it. “I- It was…” She gulped. “It was my fault, but I am also… I regret it, but thank you. Thank you for being there.”
It was tough. Mila didn’t want to trivialise Isabel’s resolve. Her girl was strong and could think for herself. Mila had tried to dissuade Isabel, but she had chosen to come.
It sucked. Mila felt a tear roll down her cheek. “Sorry.”
Isabel chuckled. “This is not like you. You are always strong.” She slithered a bit close and stopped only when they could feel each other's breaths.
These were the words Mila wanted to return to Isabel. She kissed Isabel’s hand once again. It would take time. They had to sort through their feelings and thoughts. The experience of the horror was too fresh in their minds.
It would take time…
And even then, they would never be the same.
Despite their regrets, Mila knew the world would not wait. She had to be strong. But the last night was unacceptable. They had killed innocent people. People who just struggled to survive. They were just in the wrong place.
So she had to do better. Mila felt the large amount of mana swirling through her body. She had been rewarded for her sins.
And with this newfound power, Mila could do better.
The killing was inevitable. Especially now, when the war was about to consume these lands. But Mila didn’t have to kill those uninvolved. She circled the mana through her body once again.
Mila could become a shadow. She had already started on that path. If killing had to come, she could become a scalpel that removed what needed to be gone.
“Isabel?”
“Yes?”
Mila noticed how sleepy Isabel sounded. Her girlfriend had passed her limit as well.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Mila,” Isabel muttered before moving just a bit closer.
With the tips of their noses touching, Isabel slowly drifted into an uneasy sleep.
Mila watched Isabel’s beautiful face for a while longer. Her girl’s soft breath on Mila’s face was soothing. Despite the chaotic thoughts, she felt herself relax.
And soon, Mila found herself drifting into the sleep as well.