“Yes, I heard you and myself. So you can hear me, so why haven’t you answered?”

I didn’t bother to reply and grimaced at the card in my hand.

“No matter. Bonesy, my good friend, you never cease to amaze me. Your knack for getting yourself into trouble is simply amazing.”

“Fuck off. I wouldn’t be in this trouble if not for you, dickface.”

“Is that any way to talk to your old friend? Now, the question is, where did you get Captain Hard’s I-Dent?”

“What does that even mean? Jim?”

“Don’t ask me, I’ve told you before that Pirate Blackeye is retarded, but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Blackeye roared. “I-Dent is the card in your hand. You shouldn’t even be able to use it—unless the previous owner is dead. Did you kill him?”

“Fuck no. Dug his corpse out of a bog,” I made some shit up and shrugged at Jim while smiling.

“You…,” Blackeye sighed. “You really have a knack for getting yourself into trouble. If anyone finds out you have Captain Hard’s body, you’ll be hunted across the seven galaxies. I want something from your cargo, and we can go our own way.”

“Good luck with that. You destroyed my ship, and whatever I might have looted is gone. I’m stranded on an uncharted jungle planet. If you can find me, then awesome. Get me the fuck out of here before the dog-sized mosquitos drain me of all my blood.”

There was a long silence.

“Was the shock too much?” Jim asked.

“Don’t know. I’m convinced Blackeye was born retarded, so maybe his implants glitched.”

“You fuckhead, I wasn’t born retarded!” Blackeye roared. “I just developed slow.”

Jim and I burst out laughing.

“I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Better hurry. I wasn’t joking. I’m already malnourished and close to death. This corpse I pulled from a bog, and even though it is human, I am tempted to eat it.”

“A bog?”

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“Have you never been in a jungle?” Jim asked. “God, this guy is too stupid to live. How did he shoot down your ship?”

“Dammit, Jim. Make fun of him, not me.”

“Whatever, you probably had the same mother.”

“Your AI is quite the jokester,” Blackeye chuckled. “Why would you tell me where you are?”

“Two reasons, I’ll speak slowly and enunciate, so pay attention,” I taunted him more subtly than Jim did. “First, I want you to find me, so I can pirate your ship. Second, there are no women here, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen your sister. Does she miss me?”

“You motherfucker! I’ll rip your testicles off. I’ll feed them to the sharks.”

“There are sharks in the jungle? I hope I never meet them. That sounds scary as fuck.”

“Asshole, I know you aren’t on a jungle planet.”

“You don’t know shit,” I told him and tapped the glowing icons on the card. Apps opened as holographic projections above the card, which was awesome. I wanted to keep this thing, but I did not know who Captain Hard was. He sounded important, and it was best not to get mixed up in this conspiracy.

“What are you doing?” Jim asked, and I placed a finger to my lips. After some searching, I found the settings icon. Sorting through the options was simple because the holographic screen enlarged, so I didn’t have to scroll to find anything. All the options were in my face. Clicking on the communications icon allowed me to see the various settings and types of communications available. I left the QEC active but disabled everything until I reached the microphone.

“Blackeye, the thing is, you really destroyed my ship. I ejected out, and most of this planet’s surface is a bog. The few parts of my ship I found were those embedded in the trees. Everything else sank. I’m not even sure where the cargo bay ended up. If you scan the planet from space, you might detect it, but I doubt it. You can only blame yourself for attacking me as I headed for hyperspace. Obviously, you had no intention of talking to me, and I’ve no idea what you are looking for. Therefore, I didn’t value whatever it is and would have probably traded it to you like an idiot.”

“Is that really true?”

“It is—pirate’s honor. Whatever you were looking for, which I had Jim go back through my hauls and itemize things out, it’s gone. I don’t recall having anything worth you going through all this trouble. Every piece of cargo I took was mostly garbage, enough to keep my ship running at best.”

Blackeye remained silent for a long time after that. I kept the device activated because I was curious about what he’d say. The guy was paranoid and didn’t trust anyone.

“I believe you.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Why did you say it like that? We are friends, right?”

“Fuck your face! You destroyed my home, and we are no longer friends—wait, why did you believe me so easily?”

“I installed some hardware on your ship one night after you passed out drinking. It could track you down anywhere. Shortly after I shot out your engines, there was a tiny blip, and then… nothing. There was no way you’d have found that tech, so the only reasonable explanation is your ship was destroyed.”

“You did what!? You fucking dick!” I growled and killed the mic on the card. “What a shithead.”

“Must have used a similar tech to that card, or I’d have detected it.”

“Is there any way you can use this card to give yourself an upgrade?”

“Are you an idiot?” Jim rolled his eye.

“C’mon, you know what I mean. Is there?”

“Maybe, but not here. We don’t have any tools to analyze that thing at all.”

“Ah well, back to subsisting on fish and garbage. Wonder if this I-Dent thing has any games.”

Jim chuckled and went back to keeping track of the 3D printer.