What's a curse?
Riches turn into blood. Time turns into torture. Dreams turn into nightmares. Horizons turn into wrecks. Beauty turns into rot. Immortality turns into… eternity. Death turns into… emptiness.
And love? It is all those things.
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The Third Chapter
718 B.Z.
July 18th
“Greetings your highness, princess Dianna Warsa,”
I stood there, awestruck, mesmerized, frozen. In front of me, with unimaginable grace and beauty that could only be described in fairy tales, was a young girl, only a few years my elder. Long scarlet red hair, large gleaming violet eyes, shapely crescent ears, regal jaws, upstanding cheekbones. She was noble- no, royal. A royal princess.
But my image was shattered upon her following words.
She opened her pink and rosy lips and said, “Uncle, why did you bring me this little girl?”
Terisius coughed and choked violently at her response.
“She's not going to be my personal guard is she?”
His coughing prolonged comically for an extended minute and she patiently waited.
“… Princess...” he struggled to speak, “... Zidonius is male.”
Oddly, she displayed no regret, surprise, nor bashfulness, but instead spotless curiosity.
“That so…?” She had an exceptionally blank expression and examined me closely.
I had no idea how to rebuke.
She was the first girl I had ever interacted with, and a beautiful one at that. Yes, the subject of my gender and the opposite sex, it was something Terisius never talked to me about. Likely because he never had any sorts of plans on it. I never read any books on the subject, and I was too young. I only knew that as an ideal hero, and man, I should be handsome, tall, and strong, but to be mistaken as a little girl stung my pride.
Love too, I didn't know anything about. But Dianna made my heart beat faster than it ever had, and I had no idea I was suffering from its first symptoms.
Love… I was lovestruck…
and I didn't know it.
“Zidonius!” Terisius called me anxiously.
I snapped out of it.
“Greet your princess.”
With delayed reaction, I did as I haf practiced many times before, bending a knee and bowing my head.
“Greetings, your highness Dianna. This one is named Zidonius.”
She stared at me strangely as if waiting for more.
“You have no surname?”
Sudden memories of my mother painfully flashed in my mind and my voice was slow as I spoke, “No… your highness.”
The princess was such a strange girl, but I didn't think of her any different at the time. She was a goddess in my eyes since I had never interacted with any other. I didn't know much of anything besides from the books I read and most of them had shallow depths.
I knew though, this girl, I wanted to protect her. It was something innate that sparked in me out of pure want. I wanted to be like a hero or savior, like in those fairy tales. She was my damsel in distress, my kidnapped princess, and I was her hero, her protector, her savior.
Funny. I used to be so simple.
“Male or female, you're younger than me, smaller than me, and you look weak.” She stepped closer to me, further establishing the differences of our heights. “How will you protect me?”
She was correct, I was shorter and younger than her. My height only reached just above her stomach and she was twelve years old, five years my elder, but she was dead wrong about my strength.
I had full confidence in myself after all, with years of training under my belt, so without humility nor restraint, I stated bluntly, “I'm stronger than I look.”
She raised her brows in surprise, but looked at me smilingly as if I was an adorable little specimen.
“Is that so?”
I lifted my head and nodded firmly.
She giggled. I was being treated as a joke, but I knew she would come to see my true strength.
“Then you'll be my new little bodyguard.”
That was the first meeting, between me and the future queen, Dianna Warsa. I was to accompany her for the rest of my life, protecting her, growing with her, living for her.
“Proceed with the ceremony. I must go meet mother soon.” She seemed nonchalant, almost uncaring, as if I was yet another servant in her life, but who knew I would be the one who would change it.
I bowed my head again and pledged briefly, “I swear to uphold my duties, as your defender and servant, until death.”
I never regretted those words.
“Short and sweet, I like it,” she replied. “Now let's go Zidonia! I want to show you to mother.” She walked off, practically skipping, and unaware of
"Zidonius, your majesty princess," I corrected her. She didn't seem to be listening though, as she was humming her own upbringing tunes without a care in the world.
I stood up and tossed a worried look at Terisius, but he only smiled cheerfully and said, “You two have fun. I must go meet his majesty, the king.”
I trailed after the princess.
Dianna treated me differently. I wasn't a monster nor a demon in her eyes, but I thought it was probably because she hadn't seen the black tattoos on my back yet. I am a monster after all. To myself and others, that's all I was.
If I wasn't human what was I?
“You don't… find me strange?” I asked her abruptly.
“No? Why?” She slowed her steps and faced me, walking in reversal. Sunlight and shade flickered on her visage as we passed by a row of columns.
She examined me from head to toe like a scanner, with her thumb tracing her chin, and turned back ahead.
“Aside from your skin, hair, and eyes, what's different?”
I found myself curious. This girl was even stranger than I was. How could she hold no discrimination? No fear? No curiosity?
What made her that way?
And what if she bumped into someone walking backwards like that? How worrisome she was.
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I was silent for the rest of our walk, staring at her back and admiring the delightful interior of the royal home. Large fountains, numerous columns, and elaborate design. A place fit for a king. Soon an adult woman appeared, wearing royal garb traced with violet and wandering alone in the halls.
“Ah! Mother!” Dianna exclaimed and ran towards her.
“Darling!”
She was Riza Warsa, the queen, and Dianna’s mother. They looked almost the same as each other. Hair, eyes, and all.
Dianna jumped into her mother's arm and hugged her tightly.
“Why are you so excited?” she asked dotingly.
Dianna acted cute and said, “Because I haven't seen you all day.”
The queen laughed and stroked her daughter's hair. “I've been looking for you too.”
“What have you been doing though?” Dianna pouted.
“I've been busy girl.”
“With what?”
She pondered for a moment, then said, “The king summoned me for a little… chat.”
“That took you half the day…?”
“Well, I-uh…” The queen slowly began to blush. “You! Cease your pry!” the queen bashfully reprimanded her and squeezed her cheek.
The mother and daughter were an affectionate pair no matter what they did.
“Hm?” the queen took notice of me, “Who is this young girl?”
Girl? These people truly whittled my pride down little by little. Thoughts of Terisius correcting Dianna of my true gender crossed my mind and I was also going to tell the queen the same.
But before I could say anything, a soft hand quickly reached out and covered my opened mouth. It was Dianna.
“She's my new personal servant,” she claimed proudly. Her cheek was still red from her mother's pinch.
“Oh, is that so? Zidonia, the one sent by Terisius I presume?” her mother asked curiously.
“Yes, mother.” She nodded politely.
“I'm glad. I wouldn't know what to do if he sent over a boy, but it’s too be he couldn't find a Fae.”
We were silent for a moment, lingering. It was then, I knew something was wrong.
“Well I’ll be on my way. There are matters I have to attend to.”
Riza gave Dianna a light kiss on the forehead, traded smiles with both of us, and casually walked away. As I stared at the queen's back, I knew I couldn’t end it on those terms.
“Wait!” I shouted carelessly without hesitation, “I'm a boy!”
Her back stiffened and Dianna stared at me from my side, her eyes as big and round as washing bowls.
“W-what did you say?” the queen asked with a trembling voice.
“Uh…” I was speechless for a second from the sudden change of atmosphere. “I’m a boy.”
She turned around and walked up to me quickly and frantically, her steps practically stomping.
“You know what the king would do?” She ranted, staring at both me and Dianna, “What the citizens and everyone else would think if they knew the princess’s personal servant was a boy!?”
She massaged the side of her temple.
“The whole state would be in an uproar!”
We were all silent.
“No matter, I’ll have to talk to my husband about it." She calmed down, reducing the steam in the air.
“Wait couldn’t I be a protector or guard?” I questioned.
“No, I heard from Terisius. You’re an orphan, and you’re no Fae.” She sighed in disappointment. “Many Fae would be outraged if you gained such a high position as non-Fae and they would especially discriminate your... appearance.”
Queen Riza walked away, her steps increasingly unsteady. When she disappeared from view I faced Dianna to voice my reasons.
“Your highness, when I grow up to as man and my features develop, wouldn’t it be noticed anyways?” I asked and crossed my arms, attempting to justify myself. “It would be better this way.”
I had the right to be worried anyways. I would had been forced to act as a girl for the rest of my time at the royal manor, and that just didn’t serve my dream well as the royal protector of the princess.
Instead she examined me again, from head to toe, and answered confidently, “No. Considering the way you look now, I doubt it.”
I recalled heroic tales of strong men saving damsels in distress, and they were described as handsome, strong, tall, and sturdy. That image I had crafted of myself to be in the future was cracked, devastated by her ruthless words, but when she looked at me, her eyes tinted with regret, my heart softened.
“Forgive me, but I was afraid you’d be kicked out when you revealed your gender,” she quickly apologized and reasoned, cushioning the impact of her previous words. “It’s too late anyways. Now it’s up to father and mother whether you stay or not.”
I furrowed my brows, but didn't dispute with her further. She was caring, albeit weirdly and indirectly.
Would I be okay though?
“Well, let's head to our quarters,” she declared, obviously dejected, and marched on ahead.
I smiled helplessly and followed her.
The next day I woke up drowsily to the sounds of a servant opening up my door. She brought in my new attire and set it on the end of my bed. The smell of fresh, woven clothes wafted in through my nose and I sat up to examined them. What I was given was a long garb, like a tubular dress. A neutral clothing both men and women wore at that time and period. With slight difficulty, I equipped my new outfit and walked over to the tall mirror.
I still pondered on the queen’s words the day before. I had to be Fae to hold a position as a protector or personal guard? That wasn’t fair to me, and I considered myself superior to them too. Fae weren’t immortal like I was and nor did I think they could match my combat prowess.
I also gazed into the mirror in wonder. Could I develop into the tall and handsome man I envisioned for my future or would I turn out to be some ugly abomination? To me I only looked fairly androgynous at the most.
The door squeaked open and I turned around to see king and queen both suddenly walking into my room. I was completely shocked upon their entrance and immediately knelt to one knee.
Kronus, the king truly had a heroic image and figure I could only hope to have.
“Zidon, I'm only here to set a few grounds,” queen Riza spoke first, her informal attitude taking me by surprise.
“Do not ever take any actions that would harm her...do not ever allow anything to harm her... and lastly… do not ever fall in love with her!”
I smiled. This meant they agreed to let me stay against all rationality.
"Promise us these three things, and you will be accepted into the palace as her sole personal servant or whatever you want to be under servitude. Break it, and I swear to Lumex you will take every worst possible punishment ever committed by mankind and more.”
She was straight to the point, direct, blunt, and completely and utterly ruthless. Her eyes had been blazing as she stared at me. I could tell she genuinely loved her daughter to merciless bits.
The king whistled in amazement and remarked, "My queen sure knows knows how intimidate."
He turned towards me and began the serious talk, "Zidonius I know you were sent here by Terisius. You were trained to be a guardian, a protector, or a warrior of some sorts, but he seemed to had forgotten some major details. I told him to bring a Fae, and if not, then at least a girl would had sufficed, but you’re neither of those things.” He sat down on a small stool.
My smile quickly faded as some suspicions arose in me. I can't ever fake being Fae… but...
“He said that he had the perfect candidate and you come in, a non-Fae boy with strange looks. I have no doubt you are part of his secret plan and I can permit it because he’s a close friend, but you have to understand us. As non-Fae it'd be unfavorable if you become her royal protector, other Fae would be jealous and many more non-Fae would clamor for a spot like yours. Furthermore, Terisius’s friendship with us must be kept secret, or else the ones planning to bring me down can bring me down.”
He shuffled a bit and grinned awkwardly during his next words. “You also can’t pose as a Fae, so you could pretend to be a girl and become my daughter’s personal servant.”
He paused for a bit to see my reaction, but I only nodded a little and remained silent.
“Personal male servants under noble girls are intolerable and all frowned upon,” he reasoned, “But under the royal princess it would be disastrous… I’ve already talked to Terisius about your dilemma and he agreed on all points, but you have choices. You can pretend to be a girl, leave, or for the least desirable outcome, become her royal protector.”
Their words were imprinted in my head, but I had to take a second to process everything.
“We’ll take our leave to give you some time to think, and remember what we said.” He stood up from the stool and exhaled deeply.
“I know I shouldn’t expect much of you since you’re merely seven years old,” he confessed guiltily, “but the fact that you were raised by Terisius raised my expectations quite a bit. Please don’t disappoint me. It's dangerous for me and especially you, with the threat of complications and other factions taking advantage, but the safety of my daughter is something I must guarantee.”
He turned his back to leave.
“Wait,” I voiced.
The king froze.
“Your majesty, I'm aware of the complications, but am I not able to become a royal protector?” I asked.
“As I said, other Fae would be outraged,” he repeated. “But if you wouldn't mind their discrimination, I could make an exception.”
“Humiliation seems to be inevitable, and I'd hate to trouble your majesty, but I wish to be her highness’s, Dianna’s, royal protector.”
“Then let's do it,” he said. “I already could tell the idea of pretending to be a girl was unappealing to you, and you simply cannot just go back. So from now on you'll be the Royal Protector of Princess Dianna. Say your oaths in the public ceremony I'll set tomorrow. I have things to do.”
The royal couple left swiftly after, no doubt busy dealing with other important issues, and left me to my own devices.
I had trained my whole life to become a guard, a protector, a hero, and just like that I was one.
Wow. That was easy.
I laid sprawled out on the bed and sighed deeply.
But I wondered what was going to become of me. What obstacles would I face? Other Fae, arrogant, jealous, hayecul. There were also the threats of other factions, vying for the throne or seeking to overthrow. The deeper I thought about my predicament, the more I discovered how much more deeper I was in this situation
But as the princess’s royal protector wouldn't I be around the same rank as father? I chuckled to myself. That was amusing.