Elysha took a deep breath, letting the air flow into her lungs and calming her thoughts. With her eyes closed, she entered the realm of her mind.

‘Elder Mera told me to focus on theonum inside me.’ She mused. ‘If I think really hard and find the magic deep down inside me, then...'

In the silence of her conscious space, Elysha tried to connect with her theonum core. She reflected on the teachings of Elder Merakia, remembering how the simple act of turning a seed into a blooming flower had sparked a sense of wonder within her.

Desiring to imitate her guardian's act, she visualized the process in her frame of mind and tried to regulate the spiritual energy in her being.

‘…’

But a vast expanse of darkness is all she can see.

‘It’s only nothing. I am only seeing nothing…’ Elysha mused to her dismay. Doubts began to fill in her thoughts, and she voiced her disappointment by throwing them into the void. ‘... I can’t see anything but darkness… How? I can’t do anything…’

She opened her eyes and looked up at her guardian, “It's harder than I thought." She confessed. The weight of her frustration weighed on her and threatened to dampen her inner spirit. “How can you do it, Elder Mera?”

Undeterred by her initial difficulties, Elder Merakia offered her some advice, “The start of learning sorcery can be difficult for some,” she said with a reassuring undertone in her voice. “Try again, my dear pupil. Growth takes time, and the path to use your theonum is no exception to the rule of progress.”

Elysha nodded, absorbing her guaradian's words with persistence. With encouragement, she closed her eyes once more, clutching her staff in her gloved hand as she delved into the depths of her mind.

‘Takes time...’

The child made the same attempt several times, over and over again. Each attempt brought her closer to her goal, but the connection she sought escaped her grasp.

“...”

She bit her lips and refused to open her eyes while her body felt a sense of restraint. Every time she called upon her theonum core, all she saw was the same vision of unwelcome darkness and the feeling of growing wetness in her eyes.

The dark ocean of nothingness persisted, mocking her efforts.

“...”

Then, a wave of uncertainty washed over Elysha, threatening to engulf her.

Her hands clenched into fists and gripped her staff even tighter as her frustration peaked. "I... I don't understand," she admitted, her voice shaking. "Why...? Why…!"

Elder Merakia stood beside her with a calm demeanor and unwavering patience, her eyes fixed on the young pupil. “As I said, it will take time to discover your theonum core and much longer cultivate it.” She explained thoroughly. “I don't expect you to make fast progress, but a first practice is enough to be satisfied. Do not be discouraged, and remember, your theonum core is a reflection of your soul identity and encompasses everything that makes you who you are. In time you will discover your place, your role and your identity in the world that is you, Elysha."

Elysha soaked up the Elder Merakia's words like a sponge, but her mind was confronted with the complexity of the task as well as everything her guardian had said to her.

"Who I am?” She muttered bitterly. "Not only do I have to think hard, but I have to imagine myself, too?”

“Like a mirror yes,” Elder Merakia nodded. “Your soul identity is you as your most authentic self. Try to imagine the picture and structure of your soul, think of the qualities and experiences that shape you. Picture what resonates within your very essence, your theonum core."

Elysha nodded silently in agreement, though a frown formed around the corners of her mouth. It was already a difficult task to conjure an image of herself while navigating the intricate understanding of theonum sorcery, and moreover, grasping the eloquent profundity of Elder Merakia's words.

Still, she would persevere.

‘My soul identity... what makes me who I am… and why I wanted to learn magic.’ The little girl brooded in her thoughts. ‘Think, Elysha.’

In the depths of her consciousness, in her mind's eye, Elysha was in the midst of a vast expanse of darkness. It was a space untouched by light, whose emptiness extended endlessly in all directions.

Instead of dwelling on it, Elysha continued to focus, trying once again to capture the essence of her soul identity and connect with her theonum core: Memories streamed through her mind, bringing forth the moments that defined her journey. From her first meeting with Elder Merakia, to the first time she saw her cottage and explored the surroundings, to the breakfast they had together and became closer, and now learning theonum sorcery. Each experience contributed to her growth. The emerging bond between mentor and pupil and the pursuit of magic came together to form a meaningful chapter of the little girl’s life.

She opened her inner eyes again.

Nothing.

Uncertainty gripped the little girl.

‘Am I really that bad?’ Elysha fretted. ‘Am I really lost? Am I going to make Elder Mera mad at me for being bad?

She lowered her gaze, saddened, her spirit sinking into the abstract space of her mind. However, when she looked down, her eyes fell on a luminous sight.

Iridescent fragments, bright like shimmering stars, lay on the floor in front of her.

With cautious steps, Elysha moved towards the fragments, her chest and limbs anxious with anticipation. As she drew closer, she noticed that each fragment flashed something on its illuminated surface.

She crouched down and took a closer look at the fragments.

‘Huh? These are…?’

Elysha blinked her eyes. Each fragment contained a different scene from a memory that belonged to the little girl. They glinted and the memories played in midst of the darkness, inviting her to reminiscence those scenes.

‘Memories… they are my memories.’ Elysha mused in her mind. ‘Maybe, if I hold them together and imagine my theonum core, my soul identity, then…’

As Elysha reached out, her fingers touching the edges of the memories. She could almost feel their essence, their significance and their meanings to her soul identity.

Then, a second later, it was as if the memories shone brightly upon her, revealing themselves with clarity and depth.

‘—!’

She first saw a image of her guardian, Elder Merakia. She had a warm smile on her face, looking at her.

‘Good morning, little one. Did you sleep well?’

Elysha, partially covering her gaze with her hand, blinked again in confusion as the scene of her first meeting with Elder Merakia flashed on one of the fragments.

‘... From here I will take you to my home in the cottage, where it is cozy and warm.’

‘Home…’ Elysha murmured in response; feeling the sentimental connection to the memory.

Then, as Elder Merakia hugged the small child in the scene. Everything became still, as if the memory came into an eternal pause.

Elysha turned her gaze into another fragment that displayed the vibrant colors of the surrounding landscape—lush tall trees, their leaves swaying against the silver sky. Daylight shone through the stirring branches, creating a pretty picture before the child's eyes.

‘Brrri…’

Elysha’s ears picked up on a peculiar sound and saw flying animated creatures swirling around the girl in the memory.

‘The strange creatures…’ She murmured, astonished because she remembered seeing them the day before. ‘I did saw them, they are—they are real to me.’

She watched a little more of this scene until her eyes turned to the next, and another. Each fragment represented a chapter of her memories, a piece of the whole picture that made her the person she was.

With her fingers, she picked up one fragment at a time. Then, with the fragments placed together in the bowl of her hands, Elysha drew her inner focus to the fragments to connect with them on a deeper level.

She allowed their brilliant light to merge and come together like a mosaic.

‘… Bring forth the power of the theonum on the palm of your hand.’

‘This garden is a world unto itself, waiting to be discovered.’

‘The natural world… is full of wonders that cannot be imagined…’

‘… Fill it with your wishes and your dreams, and the emotions that dwell within you…’

‘You were sleeping soundly under a willow tree when I found you.’

It was as if a kaleidoscope of memory fragments were swirling around in Elysha's head, like dancing wisps of light forming a tapestry of her life, woven together by the threads of her consciousness. She stood with the luminous light basked in her hand, immersing herself in her memories as the fragments rose into the air and floated, almost suspended in time.

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Elysha pulled herself out of the immersion and began to put the fragments together into a certain shape. In her mind's eye, the image of her theonum core began to take form and shone with light.

The little girl couldn’t help but smiled.

‘I am almost there—my theonum core is right here with me, I… I am so happy.’

As she stood amidst the luminescent glow of her memories, Elysha felt a surge of energy within her as she moved further into the—

‘That's a beautiful and lovely name for you, ------’

Elysha was pushed back by an unknown force, was thrown several meters and fell to the ground on impact, where she rolled again and again until she finally stopped.

“Ah—!”

Fragments that were joined together to form a core broke apart and shattered and its crystalline fragments scattered across the floor. The sound of their shattering echoed into her ears.

Elysha shivered, confusion mingling with pain and clouding her mind as she looked around.

‘What… happened?’ She murmured, shaking in fear. ‘I was… pushed away? Why?’

She turned to the nearest fragment—It was the memory of how she herself had opened her eyes when she first awoke, and found herself in a similar position to when she first met Elder Merakia.

‘...’

‘... You found me...’

But instead of seeing her beloved guardian, she found herself confronted by a giant keyhole-shaped structure—a void within the empty expanse of darkness, darker than the emptiness itself.

Elysha's mouth was open, but she remained silent, her eyes widening and her heart pounding with fear as she stared at the mysterious structure in front of her.

At the same time, she was also curious, because the keyhole beckoned to her, promising answers and hidden revelations that were just beyond her reach.

Not only that, it reminded her of her own sentimental object she wore around her neck.

‘Keyhole…?’

Elysha hesitated, then looked around again at the pieces of the fragments that had crumbled apart.

She frowned deeply, and with trembling hands, she pushed herself up and cautiously approached the giant keyhole-shaped structure. Each step was slower and slower until she was standing close to its presence.

‘I don’t want to…’ Elysha shook her head, refusing to open her eyes, clutching the necklace on her chest, her heart pounding even harder, filling her up with discomfort. ‘I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I’m—!’

‘------’

She opened her eyes and looked at the keyhole, her fingertips hovering centimeters away from the enigmatic structure.

Whispers filled her ears, including the laughter of a child, with voices that hinted at gratitude and admiration. They tugged at her mind and pulled her into a realm of delusion.

‘I thank you for everything.’

‘The light… What a beautiful light…’

Her fingers brushed against the structure’s dark surface, and in that instant, everything faded to nothingness.

~ ❈❇❈ ~

“sha—!”

“Elysha!”

The urgent calls of Elder Merakia broke through the void and drew Elysha back into the external world.

Startled, Elysha opened her eyes and found herself lying down in the familiar surroundings of the pavilion. A ringing sound slowly faded from her ears, but a lingering pain throbbed in her head, reminding her of the strange encounter she had just experienced: The keyhole had disappeared, leaving only the echo of its presence in her mind.

Catching her breath, Elysha turned her attention to Elder Merakia, who knelt down next to her with a worried expression on her face.

"Elder Mera... what... what just happened?” She asked, her voice trembling with confusion and worry. “I saw my memories, and then.... everything disappeared."

A mixture of concern and relief showed on Elder Merakia's face as her hands gripped Elysha's shoulders, anchoring her to reality. "Save your questions for later," she replied. "More importantly, are you alright? You suddenly collapsed and were unconscious for a minute or two. You had me worried sick for a good moment there."

Elysha struggled to find the right words to express her confusion. Her body shakened, and her voice wavered as she spoke, "Elder Mera, I... I don't know," she mumbled, her eyes fixed on her hands, burdened by the weight of her own uncertainty. "I don't know what you mean by that. Whether I can do it or not. I... I remembered and..."

Elder Merakia's gaze lowered, thinking, trying to understand the turmoil in Elysha's mind. She narrowed the distance between them and enclosed the little girl in a comforting embrace. In that moment, Elysha felt the warmth and comfort that only her guardian could give.

"I can sense that it's overwhelming," Elder Merakia whispered, and the touch of her hands brought a sense of reassurance amidst the confusion. "Remembering and delving into your own mind can be both enlightening and unsettling. It is natural to feel insecure and question your abilities. But what you experienced, even if it was just a glimpse, is a validation to your potential and the power that lies within you."

‘Power that lies within me… huh?’

Elysha's heart sank, disappointment threatening to engulf her. She had thought she was on the verge of manifesting her own theonum core, but her expectations were shattered. The answers she sought seemed to drift further and further into the distance, elusive and unattainable. Her hand instinctively raised to her throbbing head, as if to quell the physical and emotional pain.

"I don't want to give up," she murmured, her voice tinged with desperate determination.

Elder Merakia met Elysha's gaze, and she recognized the seeds of deep disappointment and shadows of doubt that sowed upon her pupil. With a worried frown, she placed her hand gently on Elysha's cheek and caressed it lightly.

"I know how disheartening it feels," Elder Merakia spoke softly. “It's natural to yearn for answers and to want to unlock your true potential. But remember, sweetie, this journey is not about instant gratification or immediate results. It is about the growth and transformation that unfold along the way."

The words echoed in Elysha's mind as her guardian continued, “Therefore, your journey takes as long as you are to grow, dear child. This is what life means to you, your story is not defined by a single moment or a single revelation, but by your eyes that help you see the world for yourself, meet new connections and create cherishable memories.”

Elysha’s heart felt a soft squeeze; she found comfort in the presence of Elder Merakia and found strength in their shared bond.

She lowered her gaze, frowning as she struggled to make a response.

“Elder Mera…?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“... When I looked into my mind, I saw pieces of my memories and held them together." Elysha began. "I only saw the ones where I woke up outside and met you. But I'm confused, Elder Mera... Why aren't there any other memories from before?”

Upon hearing those words, Elder Merakia's expression changed and a wave of concern crossed her features. "Do you not remember anything before I found you, Elysha?"

The little girl's heart sank even further when she saw the expression on Elder Merakia's face. She had never seen such a look on her face before. The mixture of fear, apprehension and worry in her guardian's eyes mirrored her own growing unease. She shook her head, her voice barely louder than a whisper, as if speaking made the words more heavier.

“Not… remember… anything?”

Elder Merakia's gaze was one of sadness as she listened to Elysha's distress. She reached out and took Elysha's trembling hands in hers, comforting her amidst the mental whirl of confusion and complexity.

"No, Elder Mera," Elysha whispered in reply. “I can't remember anything before I woke up and found myself under a tree. I tried, but it was all blank, just darkness in my mind. There are no memories, nothing from the past for me to hold onto until I’d met you."

The weight of Elysha's words hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over their conversation. Elder Merakia's heart ached all the more the longer she saw her in such turmoil—for her young pupil, for the burden of missing memories and the confusion she was struggling with.

"Elysha,” she said, her voice sounding caring yet ambivalent. “I can see the pain and confusion in your eyes. I wish I could give you answers you seek, but for now, you must wait until an answer or a solution is found so you can remember everything. Your missing memories, the void in your past.... that is indeed troubling."

As if in response, Elysha's head began to throb with an intensity that surpassed anything she had felt before. Pain radiated through her skull as if her mind itself was wrestling with the weight of her forgotten past. She winced, unable to suppress the accumulating tensity, and instinctively placed her hands on her throbbing head.

"Elder Mera, my head.... it hurts," Elysha groaned, both physical and emotional anguish resonating in her voice. Tears ran down her cheeks, mingling with overwhelming frustration and helplessness. "It's getting worse and worse... I don't get why this is happening to me?"

Elder Merakia's eyes filled with a mixture of fear and shock as she witnessed Elysha's suffering. Without hesitation, she pulled Elysha into another, even firmer embrace, enveloping her in a calming presence that comforted her in the face of pain. She placed her gloved hand on her head, attempting to cast a spell that would numb her of the pain.

"I'm here," she said, her voice a gentle lullaby in the midst of the storm. “I will not leave you alone. We will find the answers together and ease your pain—"

"Ahh! Aaahhhh!!!"

Elysha's agonized scream pierced the air and she broke free from Elder Merakia's arms and fell to the ground, rolling around and clenching her hands tightly over her ears as if to block out the torment inside her.

Her head throbbed with a relentless intensity, her chest tightened, and every breath became a struggle. Her eyes widened and squinted, as if trying to see through the unbearable pain. And amid the chaos, a cacophony of voices echoed in her head—her own voice, multiplied and distorted.

‘------... ------... Y-- -r- n-t d-s-rv-ng -f -x-st-ng, ------.’

‘Y--'r- n-th-ng w-th--t y--r m-m-r--s, ------. - l-st s--l w-nd-r-ng -n th- d-rkn-ss, s--rch-ng f-r s-m-th-ng y--'ll n-v-r f-nd.’

‘------, y--'r- -l-n-. N- -n- w-ll -cc-pt y-- fr-m th- tr-th -f wh- y-- r--lly -r-.’

'-ld-r M-r- h-t-s y--.'

The flood of distorted memories pushed inexorably and relentlessly forward. She tried desperately to resist, to push them away, but the pull was too strong. She caught herself involuntarily plunging into the depths of her own distorted, pseudo-existent past, a relentless chase that only intensified the throbbing pain in her head.

"Aaaahhhhhh!!” She screamed. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Aaahhhhh!!"

Tears streamed from the little girl’s eyes. The agony that appeared on Elysha's face was unbearable to watch. Elder Merakia nearly stumbled herself, not initially knowing how to relieve the suffering that consumed Elysha. She watched, stunned in disbelief as her heart broke for her young student as she writhed and screamed in agony.

“Ah—Hahahahaha!!!” Her screams turned into manic laughter that echoed through the garden. Her hands were clutched to her faces as her vision began to distort, tears streaming down her cheeks as she convulsed over in laughter, the lines between agony and madness blurring in her mind. “Ha hahaha hahaha haha!!!”

Elder Merakia quickly regained her composure, gathered her strength and called out to her, “Elysha, stop it! That's enough of that! Calm down!"

Her guardian hurriedly reached out to offer her comfort and support, but Elysha seemed lost in her own anguish and fear, unable to hear the words that were meant to comfort her. Her body was bent forward, her face pointed to the ground, tears dripped from her eyes, and she smiled.

‘I am ------.’

“I am Elysha. I am Elysha.”

The voices echoed incessantly in Elysha's mind, each one a reminder of her fragmented soul identity. The throbbing pain in her head persisted, an unwelcome companion as she rummaged through her memories, each time intensifying her pain and hurting her.

Despite Elder Merakia's repeated calls and physical actions to stop, Elysha didn’t even heard her guardian’s words nor felt her presence. She pushed herself further and further, deeper and deeper, in a relentless search for the truth that was beyond her reach.

With each attempt, her pain and the darkness in her mind seemed to grow and engulf her sense of self. The emptiness gnawed at her, leaving her feeling hollowed out and lost, as if a part of her being had been stolen.

"Why?" Elysha's desperate cry echoed through the garden. Tears ran down her cheeks, mingling with her grief. "Why can't I remember?" The weight of her own identity slipping through her fingers overwhelmed her.

She collapsed, the suffering becoming unbearable as the migraine-like throbbing in her head reached its zenith.

Seeking comfort, Elysha finally crawled toward Elder Merakia, her tears flowing freely. She sought refuge in her guardian's embrace, longing for the reassurance and stability that Elder Merakia offered.

"Help me..." she pleaded weakly, her voice full of vulnerability and pain. "It hurts," she sobbed, trembling with each word. "It hurts so much. Why can't I remember myself? Who am I?"

Elder Merakia held her close, her arms offering her a refuge of warmth and safety. She gently stroked Elysha's hair, her touch tender and soothing. Softly she whispered words of comfort, her voice a gentle balm to Elysha's wounded soul.

"Let it all out, dear child," Elder Merakia murmured, her voice filled with empathy. "Let those hurtful thoughts fade from your mind. Let them go, allow them to fade away."

There was a quiet confidence in her voice. "You are safe, my child. I am here with you.”