Los Angeles traffic sucks. Not just sucks, it really sucks. I have been in traffic around the world and given that LA has laws and people to enforce them, traffic sucks.

Truth is maybe it was getting to me a bit more because the day sucked. I thought I was coming in for a simple debrief but so much more was going on.

For almost 14 years I had been on an assignment that had taken me around the world. My wife and kids have no idea I still work for the government even though I moved them from California to New York to the UK and back to California.

14 years of lying to my family had come to an end with an email notice that my Facebook account was no longer under surveillance by the US government. It was the protocol we put in place a few years ago to let me know the mission was complete that would not fully expose me. Just in case they needed to reactivate me or so they said.

As all this thundered through my mind I could not stop my mind from going back to that drive home so many years ago after meeting with the ADIC and being told I was under investigation for malfeasance and fraud against the government.

Every agent was taught that complaints would be filed, and people would claim you were evil or criminal. There are systems in place to address these complaints. Hell at least 3 times people had filed claims I was menacing when I knocked on their doors to conduct interviews or ask questions about applicants.

That day I thought I was meeting with ADIC Tillson to talk about the promotion. I had put in to replace the outgoing Cyber Squad Supervisory Special Agent. Though I was only in the Bu for 5 years I was assured I was the top candidate and that it was a formality to apply. I had led 2 major cases, the kidnap and murder of a 5 yr. old, the 1st international undercover cyber sting operation and was instrumental in the 9/11 financing case. Hell, I had been sent to Athens for the Olympic games to protect the US Olympians. Even with all that, the Bureau doesn’t promote unless you submit your name and application for promotion.

I should have known there was more to the meeting. I had received 2 Outstanding Service awards for cases I had closed and was recommended for a Director's Award and a pay increase for an unrelated case. But then I found out that all of my squad mates who assisted on the case received their pay pump notifications, though I had heard nothing.

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The meeting started with ADIC Tillson telling me that I was the top candidate submitted and that I had been awarded the promotion but before notification could go out, the DOJ Office of the Inspector General had notified FBI HQ that they were investigating my handling of the Kozlov case. This investigation could become criminal rather than just something the Office of Professional Responsibility would address. It seems an Assistant United States Attorney in Boston with political connection reported me to the OIG and all personnel actions regarding me were put on hold.

I had known there was ill will with the AUSA. He wanted information about a case that I was ordered not to provide to him. He did not have a need-to-know. When I said as much he attacked me verbally during a conference call and claimed the situation was another Whitey Bulger case. My bosses commended me for following orders, reminding me the FBI does not answer to the DOJ or to the US Attorney's Office. We answer directly to the President of the United States via our chain of command.

I thought the matter was done but clearly, this guy was a vindictive prick.

When I got home that night I had to explain to my wife the situation. There would be no promotion, no pay raise and our life would be turned upside down to satisfy this ass’ ego.

She was 6 mos. pregnant with our third child, we had 2 boys under 5 and our plans had just been shattered.

It did not go well.

What did it mean under investigation?

Who was investigating me?

Did I need a lawyer?

Would the Bureau lawyers protect me?

What had I done?

Was I going to prison?

I could provide few details because I didn’t know the answers and I was not allowed to talk about parts of the case.

Her whole family was lawyers, and she sought their advice. One told her to get a divorce right away. To do all she could and secure the family. If the divorce gave her half my pension, even if I went to prison they might have a shot of getting some of the money.

As much as I kept saying we would get past this, my heart told me it was going to be hard to come back. If I could not work criminal cases and not testify I would lose the availability pay. If I was stripped of my availability pay, that 25% on top of my salary that replaced any overtime, we would be screwed. We’d lose the house and God knows what else.

It was my dream to be an FBI agent, to help those who could not help themselves and that dream was being shredded. I had done nothing wrong. I followed orders and got approvals when we tried something new. But the government doesn’t like new.

The next few weeks and months would only get worse. I got reassigned to Counterterror, and all of my squad and office mates were forbidden from socializing with me or my family or risk guilt by association. The OIG agents, all failed FBI applicants with a desire to prove they were good enough, refused to believe innocent until proven guilty. Even though 90% of the cases they worked on were dismissed outright in Federal court. How could the Department of Justice be blind to the self-serving nature of this investigation or of what it does to those targeted?