The rumbling of the ship’s engine had a nice rhythm to it. Like white noise it thrummed and pulsed. Penelope’s eyes started to feel heavier and heavier as the sound pushed everything else from her mind. Deag was saying something, Gareth was responding but she had to pull herself back into focus to really understand them.
“…Pen? If you need some rest, I can let you know when we drop out of FTL. It’ll be some time.”
“Yea… Think I’ll take you up on that.” She said standing.
“Maybe see if Ton’et has something to help?” Deag offered.
Penelope didn’t respond but turned left towards her quarters instead of right towards Ton’et’s lab.
As the bridge doors slid shut Deag let out a sigh.
“I guess that’s a no to dinner plans… I’ll ask again another time.”
“I don’t see why you’re so insistent on getting to know her. She’ll be gone in four more cycles anyway.”
“That’s no reason not to be polite. And besides, I’m-”
“Curious?” Gareth interrupted.
“… well yes.”
“How could I have guessed?”
“Can you blame me? After the first cycle when she… erm…” Deag realized his mistake too late.
“After she what?”
“It’s nothing. I’m just curious is all…”
“No, no. That’s not nothing. What happened?”
“Well… she may have pointed that weapon of hers at me when I went to get her before the business with the derelict ship and all…”
“SHE WHAT?” Gareth almost stood from his seat.
“Now, now, it wasn’t her fault. It was er… well I woke her, startled her, and she was… I’m not sure but she quickly realized where she was and who I was and apologized but… well, do you know what a ‘dream’ is?” Deag finally asked, doing his best to pronounce the word.
Gareth huffed as his frills shuddered with frustration.
“…No I’m not familiar with the word. Why?”
“Apparently, it’s a thing humans do when they sleep. Ton’et was talking about it earlier. According to her it’s as if they watch a holo-play or even live it while they’re unconscious. But I guess they’re not always pleasant?”
“Why would they not be pleasant? What’s the point in watching-”
“Well, it’s not something they have control over. It just… happens. The dream is made up of random stuff. Their brains just make stuff up like a weird… soup. I guess.”
“That’s… odd.”
“I just… when she was holding the gun, she looked… terrified? Angry? Sad? I’m not sure honestly… I figured I might ask but she’s quite guarded about it.”
“Captain, if she wished to share, she would. They’re a brutal people, whatever these dreams are I’m sure it’s nothing you or I or any other creature would want to imagine.”
---
Pen wasted no time shedding her outer layer of clothing and collapsing onto the cot. Mercifully it didn’t take long before she drifted off, unfortunately that’s where the mercy would end. She knew how these ones went. The worst ones. She tried to will herself back awake, to shatter the dream, but as she opened her eyes and looked at the room around her, she knew she couldn’t be awake.
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She was in her room aboard The Blue Nebula. Everything was as it should be. All except for the fact that Alvarez stood against the far wall. Her safe box lay open, and he was holding his dog tags in one hand and the half empty bottle in another. He looked at her and shook the bottle.
“Rationing it now, are we? Now that you can’t get more from the family?”
“… just a small bit. Once a year, on the anniversary.” She drank in his features, recommitting them to memory.
“On the anniversary… not daring to reach out and ask for more. I wonder what they’re doing on that day each year. Cursing your name maybe?” His face turned vile, spiteful.
“Plea-”
“NO! Two years now, is it? Without a father? A husband? A son? Do you even think about my kids? You’ll drink down her special, but do you even spare a thought for Mama?”
“This… this isn’t you. Alvarez would never-”
“And I suppose you are an expert in what we would never do ah?” A deeper voice cut her off.
Awali stood in the doorway. He was in his tattered armor. Blood ran from gashes in his dark skin, but his face was pristine. He glared at her.
“I-”
“No.” His stern retort.
They were both moving closer to her.
“…”
“I suppose anyone can be an expert in what we can never do now.” He motioned at his midsection, torn apart by shrapnel.
“You jumped on it before I cou-”
“Spare me! Lie to whoever you’d like but here we all know. I saw the look in your eyes. I knew you were too gutless to do what needed to be done. A coward.”
“No, you were already moving. I couldn’t…”
“You want to know something Pen. I jumped on that grenade to save Alvarez. Not you.”
“Please, don’t say that.”
“Oh, are we begging now?” another familiar voice came from her right.
Ashara was making a mocking pouting face.
“God, you’re pathetic! And you’re the one who gets to live? Really?” Ash continued.
“…” Penelope was silent, but she couldn’t look away from them.
“The only fucking one of us to have nothing to go home to and you’re the one who gets to go home. Does that seem fair? The captain had a family. Nurse had his brother. I had my wife. But no, you. You.” Ash was practically in her face.
“Fuck you, Pen.”
“Pen.”
“Pen?”
“Hello? No gun this time please?”
She remained utterly still as she opened her eyes. The room was as it should be save the faces that she longed to see again.
“You slept a long while, we’re about to dock.”
“Understood. Give me a minute.”
“You’re good. We’ll be in the cargo bay.”
The door slid shut.
---
Deag had sent the rest of the crew on ahead when Penelope came through the door to the cargo bay. Gareth and the loading frame waited with him.
“Figured the three of us could bring the bot to be fixed and show you around while we walk.”
“Sure.”
They made their way down the ramp created by the descended cargo bay door and through the large dock. Ships of all kinds sat in their own spaces. There were other Ossian designs like The Blue Nebula. There were plenty of Tinsne ships as well, but most were of such varying make that Pen couldn’t tell a species of origin. A few ships were so small that Penelope was outright taller than the ship itself. She did notice that there were no human ships, at least in this hangar bay.
As they walked up to the entrance to the station proper, they found a checkpoint manned by Tinsne security. By galactic standards they were quite heavily armed. Standard laser rifles and personal shields. The station itself did boast a defense grid but Penelope marveled at how easy it would be to take the station with a concentrated effort. Even the Tinsne soldiers seemed relaxed, though they did tense up at the groups approach.
“Halt.” The primary guard held up his small hand.
“Captain of The Blue Nebula, Deag. My crew just went in. Were here to pick up supplies and fix our frame,” he motioned to the large bot, “headed to the new Raxia Colony to deliver energy cells.”
“And that?” he motioned to Penelope.
“She,” Gareth corrected, “Is our security officer and well within her rights as a free sentient being to board the station.”
“SSssss weapons?” he asked accusingly.
“No.” Penelope responded dryly.
“… Ssss I don’t like the look of you, stay aboard the ship.”
“She will not be and you have no right to simply declare otherwise.” Gareth called out again.
“Sss I am station securit-“
“And only your superior has the authority to ban people from entry. So, unless you’d like to drag them down here for nothing, I think it would be wise to let this go.” He cut the guard off.
“…”
“Exactly.”
“SSssfine. But you are responsible for her.”
Gareth let out a huff but said nothing else as he pushed through the checkpoint.
There was relative silence as they made their way into the main open plaza of the station, but Gareth interrupted it.
“I can feel you staring at me Captain so for the record I don’t entirely disagree with the guard,” he turned and looked at Penelope, “But I’ll be damned if I let some guard push his weight against any member of the crew. And besides, by all rights you are allowed aboard the station.”
Deag said nothing but the Corvul approximation of a grin did find its way across his face.
Penelope barely registered the exchange.