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1.35 - Decisions

"Olivia?" Hina whispered. The noise felt too loud in the stillness of their pocket in the field. "Are you awake?"

Dark grass swayed over Hina's head, rustling in the cool breeze. The sky was grey but growing brighter. The sun would be up soon.

There was a long pause. "Yes. Why? Has the salve worn off already?"

"What? No, or I mean, my arm is a lot better now. I mean, how are you doing? Last night was ... that was intense."

"Intense? And horrible, and terrifying and just plain awful?" The words tumbled out as Olivia's voice rose in pitch and she sat up. "How am I doing? I am not doing well, Hina. I am not doing well at all."

Hina took a couple of steadying breaths. "Do you—do you want a hug?"

And then Olivia rolled towards her, one arm wrapped around Hina pulling her closer until her other arm could wrap around her tightly

Hina held still for a moment, then she moved her arms, returning the embrace and giving Olivia a squeeze

For a moment they stayed there like that, and Hina felt something shift inside her head, some deep inner tension started to relax and her mind whirled a little slower. Her eyes stung, and she blinked back sudden wetness.

And then Olivia let go, and pulled back. They were lying side by side, face to face in the dim morning light.

Olivia sniffed. "Was he right? Did we do that?" Her voice was thick. "Did we get all of those people killed?"

"Hey, hey. No," Hina said firmly. "No, of course not. We were just trying to escape the huld."

Olivia sniffed louder, almost half a sob. "Do you—do you really believe that?"

"We aren't responsible for the huld, Olivia. Or for the farmers. We warned them and they chose not to listen. That was their call."

"Why didn't they listen?"

"I don't know. Maybe they thought we were exaggerating. Or I don't know, maybe they would have been right if we weren't—you know—or maybe they'd never really had to defend themselves before and didn't realise how bad it could be."

"And now they're dead." She sighed heavily, her breath hitching on the exhale. "We—we should have tried harder."

Hina shook her head. "We tried pretty hard. I think we warned them what? Three times? Warned several different people. They didn't want to hear it."

Olivia swallowed and rolled onto her back, hugging herself as if holding herself together "I keep telling myself that we did the right things. We warned them. We did what we could." Olivia swallowed. "But they're still all dead."

"And they wouldn't be if we'd run in a different direction."

"Y-yes."

"But we would be dead instead."

"Why didn't they listen?"

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Hina shook her head, and then Olivia pulled her in for another hug.

Kai grunted and rolled onto his side.

"Listen," Hina said in a low voice once Olivia had shuffled back. "In the morning—in a few hours, we could be inside Blandmanch." She wiped her eyes with the back of her right hand. "What do you want to do when we get there?"

"My plan—" Olivia sniffed. "My original plan. I was going to walk to Blandmanch, and then. I would join a caravan to Modmin, if not all the way to Om Qalar. They—there's supposed to be one passing through Blandmanch every couple of days. No more than a week. And they'll take you for a fee. Do you—do you want to travel together?"

"I'd like that." Hina's lips twitched. And then she frowned. "But I'm worried that they might be looking for us."

"Why did you do it—why did you run away?"

Hina supposed it was a fair question. She took a deep breath. "The man I—killed." The knife. The blood. With a flex of will that came much more easily now, Hina dismissed the images that the thought conjured. "The man I killed—he was my betrothed, I guess? I told you that already? He ran a bakery in Grambe, I worked there for a while, since school finished. While I figured things out.

"Lots of the other kids from school—well, I didn't know what I wanted to do yet, and I always liked baking—it was something to do in the meantime." Hina took a deep breath. "I liked it. I liked the work, and I liked Lagi, at least at first. He was a bit strange, but nice enough, most of the time.

"Only, my father and my mother had arranged that he would get to marry me, and they didn't tell me any of this. I only found out a few weeks before—before.

"When I found out, everything changed. They acted like they were doing a favour, like I was being ungrateful. I didn't want to marry anyone, but they didn't care about that. Like my feelings weren't even a consideration. And they were going to make sure I followed through with it, too. One way or another.

"And then I got the letter from the academy. Lagi—I thought it would be polite, or kind even, to at least tell him I was leaving. He'd have to find some other girl to marry. Well, that was a mistake. A big one, I see that now.

"My father is on the town council. He likes to think he runs the place. Maybe he does, I don't know.

"I do know that if I had stayed, even if they cleared me of murder, I would never be able to go to the academy. I would never leave Grambe. It would just be whatever they picked for me. Until I was married off to some merchant or tradesman that my father needed for something, and trapped in that place until the day that I died.

"So I left," she finished. "And I took everything that was important to me," she said. "And I will never go back."

Olivia didn't say anything for a while. Then she said, "Okay."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"We just got over a dozen people killed by the huld, Hina."

"I guess—"

"So, I don't know what to say to any of that," she said with a quaver in her voice. "But I believe you. That you did the right thing, so I'll help if I can. What do we need to do? When we arrive in Blandmanch?"

"The main thing is that if anyone is looking for us, they'll be looking for a girl named Hina and a boy named Kai that come from Grambe. So, if anyone asks, I'm... Lori, and he's Mica. And we're from Hertley."

"Isn't that too close to Grambe? And you're obviously still, distinctive?"

"Maybe, but it's the only other town I know well enough to describe. And with three of us, it should be less obvious," Hina said. "And I can't do anything about the rest of it. And I can't imagine we're the only Leli kids in this whole city. So hopefully it won't come up."

Olivia hummed. "What about your reason to travel?"

"Same as we told you before. We're going to help out with my uncle's new baby—only instead of Blandmanch, he runs a bakery in Om Qalar. They have bakeries there, right?"

"Um, yeah. Everywhere has bakeries, Hina."

"So, Lori and Mica are going to Om Qalar to help out with the bakery while their uncle and his wife have their hands full with the new baby. He's paying for the trip. Everything else happened like it happened, you know, except for the workings—they were all you," Hina said. "We got really lucky when we ran into you."

"That sounds ... fine. What about me? Do I need a fake name?"

"No—"

"—Fenne. I've always wanted to be called Fenne." Olivia interrupted excitedly. "I don't know why. I just like it. And should I be from Hertley too? Did I grow up there, or somewhere else and then move there?"

"Do you want to be from Hertley? I think Hertley is almost all Leli folks, farmers and the like. It might be easier if you're you. Or you, but named Fenne, if you like? But just if someone asks, right? Don't volunteer anything."

"Oh, of course." Hina could hear the smile in Olivia's voice. "Whatever you say, Lori."