I had lost all hope. I waited for centuries just to see him once again so that I could say that I didn't fail, so that I wouldn’t be reminded of my failures anymore. It was my destiny and I failed it. I was going about my normal life, well if you could call anything about it normal. After Arthur died, I had stopped aging and I had to leave Camelot, people would have noticed the man that never aged. I didn't get to see Camelot again, I didn't get to comfort Gwen when she received the news about her husband, I didn't get to help bury the victims of the war I helped to start, or mourn with their families. I didn't get to see the survivors go home. It picks at my soul every day, and it has ever since. I had to leave Camelot, I had to leave the life that I knew behind. The hardest part was facing Gaius, knowing that I couldn't save Camelot, to say goodbye to him felt like swallowing the boulder I kept on my shoulders, but I had to go find a way to Unite Albion myself, to bring back the Once and Future King. I felt the need to leave immediately, I could only run to my chamber to grab a few items , but I guess I could have stayed, I should have stayed, for at least a little while. From what I have heard, Gwen ruled as an amazing queen, but eventually, Camelot fell, withered away to nothing, as all great kingdoms do. Eventually everyone I held dear to me had died, of old age or natural causes, if not in a bloody battle defending their home.
Immortality has caused me to have to move around and change my identity quite often. Eventually 'Merlin' became outdated and people began to notice that I didn't age with my peers. With new technology, I had to keep adapting in order to keep my true identity hidden, but I have it figured out. Right now, my name is Carsen Tulick, from London, England. Tomorrow, I will be called Morgan Jones from Ammon, Idaho. College students are great when you need a fake ID and some other things, I have a contact who goes to the University of London. I'm meeting him later today, once again, it is time for me to start again.
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It's nice in Idaho, I haven't lived in America since 1902, even then I stayed on the east coast. The weather is nice here, I'm mostly looking forward to the winter. I love the snow. After I left Camelot, I travelled North a bit just to get away, and even after everything, the snow reminded me of Athusa, the pale white dragon I called into the world. My new apartment is small and kind of dirty, but it will be relatively easy to clean it up. I have money, lots of it, but I can't exactly draw a lot of attention to myself with large houses and fancy clothes. I look just like everybody else, live like everybody else, and most importantly, I keep my magic under wraps. Nobody has known about my magic since Arthur died, since the few of my friends who knew, eventually died. I still wonder though, if Leon ever found out about my magic, he is alive somewhere, him having become immortal during the battle for Camelot. Sometimes I wish I could find him, so I wouldn't be so alone, but I wouldn’t even know where to start looking. I was ripped out of my thoughts with a knock at the door. I opened it and a little girl smiled up at me, holding a plate of messily frosted sugar cookies.
"Hello neighbor!" She beamed "I made you cookies when I saw you move in! I worked so hard on them!" She handed me the cookies and walked past me into my house. She started pulling things out of the few boxes I had.
"Kid? What are you doing here?" I asked her. She was a young, blonde child. Seriously young, maybe in kindergarten? She isn’t in school though, obviously, because she’s here.
"I want a friend," She responded and looked at me, kind of pleadingly, then she turned back to my boxes. "Plus, you need help unpacking." She is running around looking for boxes, pulling things out. There is a lot of energy in this kid. I guess I don’t mind her making a mess here, I don’t have a lot of stuff.
I put the cookies down on the table and pulled out two water bottles. They are the cutest little cookies, it definitely looks like she tried very hard. The frosting was all over the place and the cookies looked like they were supposed to be in some sort of shape, but I can’t quite tell what. Maybe I can distract her, I don’t mind having a friend, it’s not like I have much to do anyway.
"I would get you some milk but I have yet to go to the store, but I have water and some powdered juice to put in it if you would like." I put down the water bottles and went past her to grab the powdered lemonade from the box she was looking through, "I don't know what you expect to find, I only have clothes and a few other things."
"You sound funny. Where are you from? What's your name?" She moved from her box to a new box labeled 'fragile'. Before I could stop her, she ripped it open and jumped to her feet. "That's a sword! What's this old book about?"
She had found my box with the two things that I had kept from Camelot, Arthur's sword, which I polish regularly but never use, and my old spell book, the one Gaius gave to me. I quickly shut the box and shoved it aside so she went to the table, sat down and opened up her water bottle. I went over and began to mix up some lemonade for her and started to attempt to answer her questions. She was the first in centuries to see the things I had in the box.
"I'm from England," I said with a chuckle "My name is Morgan Jones, but you can just call me Morgan, or Mr. Jones, or M-dawg." She laughed at me but looked at me funny.
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"Okay, just kidding, don't call me M-dawg, that was a joke." I clarified. I’m rambling to a child.
I slid her the plate of cookies as a hope that she would forget about the box, she grabbed a cookie off the plate but didn't forget.
"My name is Ryanne, I made these cookies all by myself, you should have one!" I grabbed a small cookie, it was almost shaped like a flower and it had purple frosting with silver glitter-sprinkles. It actually tasted pretty good. "Where did you get the sword?" She asked me.
"A friend gave it to me, a long time ago, don't worry, it's not real." It’s totally real but she doesn’t need to know that. It’s also very sharp so I’m going to keep it out of the way the best that I can. I don’t know much about children but an ancient sword forged in dragon’s breath is not exactly kid friendly.
"What's in the book?" She ran back over to the box and struggled to pull out the book which looks rather large in her small hands.
"Just stories." I told her as she can back and sat down again. She opened it up and started flipping through the pages. It’s a very old book but luckily I believe she noticed that and she was flipping the pages very slowly and carefully.
"I can't read it." She slid it over to me so I could see the words.
"Well it's not in English, so you can't read it, what a shame." I closed the book and went to put it on a shelf behind me next to the cupboards.
"I can't read anyway, will you read it to me?" She pleaded with me as she went and grabbed another cookie.
"Not right now. You should go home." I put the book on the shelf and started walking toward the door to send her home.
"I don't want to be home alone. Please let me stay." Well that is unfair, I can’t leave her by herself. I think she knows it too, if there was someone home, they would have already come to find her, right? I don’t even know where she lives.
“Where are your parents? Isn’t somebody supposed to be watching you?” She started fidgeting a little but, playing with her hands and the cookie she was holding.
“I had a babysitter but I think she forgot to come today.” I have the feeling she had something to do with that, I don’t know her well, but it seems the kind of thing she would do. I can’t let her go on her own then.
So I did. I let Ryanne stay. She helped me fold up my clothes and put them in the old dresser that came with the apartment. I told her that I would do the unpacking myself but she said something about how I needed a clean apartment otherwise the landlord will kick me out and she likes me so she doesn't want me to get kicked out. I think that's just something her parents told her so she'd clean up. She taught me how to braid her hair, because in my thousands of years of being alive, I never felt the need to learn. Her hair is long and blonde but it was pretty messy so she wanted me to fix it for her. She told me how to brush it and braid it, I wasn't very good but she appreciated it all the same.
Eventually after everything was cleaned up she pulled out my book off the shelf in the kitchen I put it on, the sword being tucked away in the drawers underneath my clothes. She jumped onto the couch and opened up the book, careful not to let the loose papers fall out onto the ground. Loose spells, but she didn't know that.
"Come read it to me!" She patted the dusty couch next to her. Pre-furnished apartments are very helpful but not the most sanitary, maybe next time I'll get my own furniture. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. Obviously I couldn't read to her what was actually in the book, but she didn't have to know that. Plus, it was good to be able to talk to someone, even a little girl, even if she didn't know if what I was saying was real. I opened the book to the first page.
"In a land of myth, and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man, his name? Merlin." That felt good to say.
I began to tell her my story, I started with the kingdom called Camelot, which was built by an angry, yet firm king named Uther, who hated magic with all of his heart, and then I told her about his son, Arthur, who was a knight, and a prince, who would someday rule Camelot himself. I told her about my first encounter with him, without her even knowing that it was me. I told her about the fight with Arthur, where I used magic and he didn't even notice. The clock struck five and she told me that her father would be home soon so she would go home, but that she lived right next door and would come visit me again tomorrow.
And she did.
She came the next day and kept coming each day, I would tell her stories and we would play when her parents were away. Of course, I gave each story a happy ending with minimal battles and keeping the gritty details to myself. I worried about her parents worrying about me spending the days with their daughter but they never came to meet me but I sent her home with notes telling them who I was so that they wouldn't be stressed out over their daughter hanging out with a complete stranger. They didn't appear too worried, as they never came to interrogate me.
"Mr. Morgan, Merlin is my favorite character. When Arthur becomes king and makes magic legal again, will Merlin tell Arthur about his magic? I think Arthur would think it’s cool! He can’t be mad because Merlin is his best friend!"
The question struck my heart like a knife. Arthur died, how am I supposed to tell her that. I did tell him about my magic, and he didn’t take it well. I will have to find a better ending for the story, maybe it will bring us both peace.
"Well you'll have to wait and find out, won't you? Anyway, my favorite character is Arthur." Just whatever you do, do not tell him that I said that. It was getting a little too late so she headed over to the door.
“Mr. Morgan, can I come back tomorrow?” She asks me as she always does.
“Tomorrow is Saturday, will your father be home?”
“Yeah, he will.” Before I could ask her to bring him with, she had closed the door.