School is finally over. Although it did not seem to take up that much time. The day was a complete blur. I don’t even remember walking to most of my classes. I feel like a zombie just going through the motions. It’s as if I get through my day by muscle memory alone.

Walking to my car I realize I have nothing else to do. Today is not a workday. In fact, I already worked my allotted 32 hours this week. I’m not allowed to work more then 32 hours because I am 16 years old and still in high school. Now sitting in my car with my keys in my hand, Staring at the steering wheel… Now what? Going home is definitely not an option. Not going to deal with my batshit crazy aunt this early in the day. Who am I kidding? It’s time to go to Bean Brew for coffee. My usual spot.

I arrive, the smell of coffee is extremely comforting. it reminds me of Saturday mornings when I was little. I would wake up to the smell of coffee and bacon. My parents usually had some old 80s music on and would be bopping around while making breakfast together. This is a memory that makes me both happy and sad.

“hello?”

I look up to find the the lady behind the counter staring at me.

“Hi, I’m sorry. Can I get a large, iced coffee with a double shot of espresso and extra whip cream? Can I also get an extra large chocolate chip cookie?”

“coming right up.”

”Thank you.”

what is wrong with me that I can’t even pay attention long enough to realize that somebody has been talking to me? I should be embarrassed, but I don’t even care. I saw that my usual spot at a bistro table outside was opened. I wonder if my so-called boyfriend Bobby will show up today?

About four months ago, Bobby showed up while I was sitting at my usual bistro table and asked if he could sit in the empty chair across from me. I said sure. He sat down and drank his coffee and read his book. After that, I would see him a few times a week, and he would sit down with me. We never talked. I always appreciated that he did sit down though. I didn’t have to talk to him. Because he was sitting with me, nobody else would come over and try to sit with me or bother me in any way. It was way easier. Occasionally, we would say hello And/ or goodbye, but that was it. I never found it too awkward because I really didn’t want to be bothered by anyone more than that anyway.

One day, Bobby showed up with his mother. He introduced me to his mother as his girlfriend. I don’t know why, but I found that amusing. Obviously completely weird, but harmless enough? Anyway, I felt like I had nothing else going on. Plus I was able to tell the guys at school who were interested in me that I had a boyfriend and it would not be lying. Truly convenient. The only time Bobby and I really talked was through text. It’s nice, being that I didn’t really want to talk to anybody anyway. Right now I am happy just being in my own head.

Once I paid and my name was called, I gathered my stuff and walked outside to find Bobby sitting in his usual seat. He gave me a head nod and went inside to get his own coffee. I took my book out of my purse and got lost in its words. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I can’t remember if I ate lunch or not? I know I didn’t eat breakfast. Next thing I know, I heard Bobby say “bye”. I picked up my head to meet his gaze and replied “bye”. it was then that I realized it was pitch black outside already. I looked at my phone and it was 8:57 PM.

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Oh man! Now I have to go home and hear it from Bat shit crazy aunt Trisha. Her rule is, if I am going to be out later than 9 PM that I better call. Crap! I tried to call her, but it went straight to voicemail. I couldn’t even leave a voicemail because her f**king mailbox is full. She has no understanding whatsoever about technology.

I raced home and arrived at 9:10 PM. My heart was pounding because I just don’t want to deal with her. I ran to the door and it was locked. Crap! I walked around to the back of the house. Thank God! The back door wasn’t locked. I could hear the television on. I peeked into the living room. That’s when I realized that she had a bottle of wine in front of her on the coffee table and she was snoring, almost as loud as the television. I breathed the biggest sigh of relief, and walked slowly and quietly to my room. no wonder I didn’t have 1000 texts from her asking where I was.

After getting ready for bed, I just laid on my bed and looked at my phone. That’s when I received a text from Bobby. He asked me if I ever heard of The Hole to Hades? he told me to look it up. I did. Extremely interesting. In the 1950s there was a town in the middle of Colorado that found a giant sinkhole that was admitting a toxic natural gas. They had brought in top scientists to figure out what to do. They weren’t sure if the town was in danger or not. Anyway, the scientists decided that the best thing to do is to light the gas on fire and let it burn off so the townspeople did not have to move away. Anyway, they did not take into account that it would still be burning today. The towns people there named it The Hole to Hades.

I texted Bobby back that I found it really interesting. Which I did. He asked if I would like to go and see it on Saturday. He said that it was a 4 Hour Drive. I was surprised because Bobby and I never went anywhere. A couple of times while my car was in the shop. Bobby picked me up and dropped me off from coffee. But besides that we have never been out together. Plus I always pay for my own coffee and he pays for his own. I ask him if I can think about it. He texted back that he needs an answer tonight.

I decide that I will speak to my best friend Sophia about this. She has been texting me for a while now, and I have not responded. We have been best friends since we were born. We were born two weeks apart and lived across the street from each other. Literally had play dates before we could hold up our own heads. We always kept in touch, but we haven’t seen each other in person since she moved to New York when we were in the fourth grade. She has been extremely patient with me since my parents died. I am very grateful to her. Even though she is probably the person I love the most in this world, I have a hard time even wanting to talk to her. Like I said, I like being in my own head, and not in the real world right now.

Me: Hey

Sophia: Hey girl! So happy to hear from you! I miss you!

Me: Yeah, I’m sorry. I miss you too.

Sophia: don’t be sorry… I understand.

Me: I wanted to talk to you about Bobby.

Sophia: Are you still dating that creepy older guy? Why, I know you don’t really even like him!

Me: I like him just fine. We say we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but really it’s just a relationship out of convenience. There’s really nothing romantic. I feel like that’s just what I need right now. Anyway, he asked me to go to this really cool spot on Saturday in Colorado. I don’t know if I should go? Thing is, we really don’t go on dates. I really want to go. It’s this sink hole that has been on fire for years. It sounds really cool!

Sophia: Girl! Please be safe! I know I’ve never met Bobby. I just feel like he is a creeper based on what you’ve told me. But … It’s good that you’re going somewhere other than school, work and out for coffee. Have fun!

Me: Thanks ❤️

So I text Bobby back that I definitely wanted to go. Relieved that I have something to do on Saturday. I will not have to deal with aunt Trisha. Bobby texted me back to make sure that I will be ready by 7 AM and he’ll pick me up. I’m excited! I haven’t had anything to look forward to in a long time! UGH! I just remembered tomorrow is Friday. That means that after school I have to come right home and clean the entire house. no getting away from Batshit Crazy Aunt Trisha tomorrow!