Ernas knocked on the door at the back of the shop where his daughter lived.

‘Punnas? Lopas?’ he cried out as he entered, not wanting to scare his grandsons by entering unannounced. There came no answer, only the distant pitter-patter of footsteps. ‘It’s your grandad! Tokas— Your mother sent me to look after you!’

One head, then two, popped out from around a doorframe. There they were: Ernas’s only two grandsons, handsome young chaps despite the human blood they got from their good-for-nothing absent father.

‘Erny?’ the two kids said at once, and then stormed out to meet him. Ernas was forced to label it as “storming out” because their feet hitting the ground seemed to make the very building shake.

Ernas crouched down to hug his two grandchildren, taking one in each arm and holding them close. ‘There’s my boys!’ He pulled his head away from the hug. ‘Let me take a good look at you, you look like you’ve grown all big and strong since I last saw you!’

‘Very strong,’ Punnas—always the more talkative of the two—said.

‘Mmmmm,’ echoed Lopas, talking around a chubby thumb in the corner of his mouth, ‘strong.’

Ernas identified Lopas first, part of him expecting to find this twin progressing less quickly than the other. He internally berated himself for that assumption.

Level 2 Dreadstomper

Race: Tiefling/Human

‘...What?’ Ernas said aloud, and his two grandsons turned to look at him.

‘Where’s mama?’ Lopas said, already losing interest in his grandfather’s sudden outburst.

The old tiefling ignored the question, and turned instead to identify Punnas instead.

Level 2 Doomstomper

Race: Tiefling/Human

‘Where’s mama?’ Lopas said again.

‘She’s…’ Ernas started, unable to take his eyes away from the words hovering in front of him, ‘she’s away for work again.’

‘What do?’ Lopas asked.

‘What does she do? She… she helps catch bad men.’

‘Mmm… boudy hunner,’ Punnas added.

‘I—’ Ernas started, but couldn’t help but switch back to an earlier track. He pushed a smile onto his face. ‘You’re level two, now! That’s so, so impressive for young men your age. Tell me, though… do you know what a “doomstomper” is? Or a… “dreadstomper”?’

‘Mama says boots make go strong.’

‘Your mama says what?’ Ernas repeated.

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‘Boots. Strong,’ Lopas echoed his Doomstomper brother. ‘We got kickboxing skill!’

‘What boots, sonny?’

Punnas blinked up at him, then suddenly turned on the spot and staggered into the main room, the floor shaking with every step.

Lopas stared on at Ernas, still not fully released from the hug, and asked, ‘Mama is bouny hunner. What are you?’

‘What am I? Do you mean what do I do, as a job?’

Lopas nodded.

Ernas grew worried about the continued stomping in the other room, and picked Lopas up to take him through with him. ‘I was a fletcher, my boy.’

‘Fletch?’

‘I made arrows, for bows. But I don’t do that any more. Nowadays, I spend most of my time hiking. The great outdoors, you know? Fresh air, beautiful landscapes.’

Lopas blinked back absently.

‘Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.’

‘Here boots!’ Punnas suddenly cried, rushing—stomping—into the centre of the room and holding a pair of small leather workman’s boots into the air, a proud smile on his face.

If Ernas still had questions, they were answered when he identified the shoes.

Boots Of Minor Slowing — +40% resistance to walking. Negatively scales with [STR].

‘Ah, I guess that explains that one, then,’ Ernas mumbled. He’d never been the best parent to Tokas—the gods knew that was true—but he wasn’t sure he was entirely on board with his daughter’s own parenting style. But then, after what she’d been through with her partner disappearing on her… Ernas had never been through anything like that, so who was he to judge? The worst thing that ever happened to him was…

He stopped to think, and then realised nothing bad had ever happened to him. What a great life he’d lived.

‘Alright, boys?’ Ernas said, putting his hands on his knees so that he could get down to his grandsons’ eye level. ‘While your mum’s away, I’m going to introduce you to the best thing this world has to offer, OK?’

‘OK!’ Lopas mumbled.

‘We already know about chocolate,’ replied Punnas.

‘I’m not talking about chocolate, I’m talking about—’

‘Toys?’ Punnas tried.

‘No, not toys either. This is far more majestic than—’

‘Cots?’ Lopas guessed.

Ernas blinked. ‘Cots? What are cots?’

‘They fluffy and go brrrrrr.’

The old tiefling narrowed his eyes, trying to get his head in the same space as a two-year-old’s. ‘Do you mean… cats?’

Lopas smiled. ‘Yes! Cots!’

‘It’s… it’s not cots either, but we might see some on the way?’

‘Yes!’ Lopas cried, throwing his hands in the air and then falling over as a result. He looked down at the floor, eyes wide, seemed to consider crying, and then cheered once more. ‘Cots!’

‘Alright, get your shoes on!’ Ernas said. ‘If we get out now, we can make it up the Turnip Mound in time for sunset. And sunset is a…’ he turned to see the two boys sat on the edge of the sofa, their legs dangling off, Lopas’s shoes on the floor beneath him and Punnas’s placed loosely on his feet. ‘What are you doing?’

‘We need you do laces,’ Punnas said.

‘Did Tokas never teach you?’

‘Too hard,’ Lopas said.

‘Strong legs, not fingers…’ Punnas added, and then—as if to demonstrate—kicked his left leg once. The shoe shot across the room, smashed through the window, and fell out into the street. ‘Oopsie.’

Ernas gulped. ‘You’ll keep your legs still for me, won’t you? If I tie your laces?’

‘We will!’ Lopas said, immediately wiggling his legs around.

‘Mama makes us promise this too. Says we give black eyes.’

Ernas gulped, looking from the shoes, to the feet, and then back to the shoes again. Did he really want to crouch down in the firing line of those things? ‘On second thoughts,’ he said. ‘Let’s stay in. I’ll get you some chocolate.’

‘Hooray!’ both kids cheered, and in the process Punnas shot his legs forward so hard that the remaining loose shoe flew into the air with such force that it broke Ernas’s nose.

‘Hooray…’ Ernas echoed, with far less enthusiasm. He could only hope that Tokas wouldn’t be away for work quite so long this time.