Her legs were aching by the time the stairs ran out, but she was happy to see the light again. Navigating the too-tall stairs in the dark had almost been enough to make her turn around, but the thought of going back up them again had crushed that notion before it could take root. She stood under the light at the bottom listening, then, as quietly as she could, she stole up to the door and laid her ear against it.

Nothing.

No, not nothing. From the silence there came an irregular soft thunk sound that seemed vaguely familiar, but Ghoumi couldn’t place it. With no indication of fighting and no sign of pursuit, she was left uncertain about what to do next. She leaned against the door to try and listen closer when it suddenly began to swing open under her touch, the latching mechanism clearly broken when she jerked back to look up at it. She reached forward and grabbed the door’s edge carefully, but even through the slowly drying cloth she was assaulted by the thick stench of metal and men from the other side. When no response came, she decided to risk opening it a little farther to take a look inside.

A quick glimpse was all she had planned, and should have been enough, but what she saw left her unable to even move. Red — that was her first impression. The floor ran with it, the walls and even ceiling were painted in it. Just red. The creature meandering from lump to sodden lump and casually beheading them was dripping with it. Suddenly, in spite of the still-wet cloth covering her face, Ghoumi couldn’t find enough moisture to even swallow. A cloth she was again thankful for, though now for an entirely new reason.

The flash of the blade and the distinctive sound as it bit into flesh, the sight of things exposed that were never meant to see the light, even the smell, they were all the same as those visits to her uncle’s butchery when she was just a child. But her uncle’s shop had been far more clean, the work meticulous and organized and ventilated. Somehow, in the face of the situation she was confronted with, such strange and idle thoughts were all Ghoumi could muster. Her mind refused anything else.

The dim but energetic aurum twin had been right, she realized, and Mea was just fine. More than fine ­­— as Ghoumi watched the woman seemed to positively skip and dance about as she finished with her task, moving towards an open door on the far side while still dripping a thick red with every step. Ghoumi leaned forward to keep watching, but the door moved as she pressed against it and creaked loudly. The long silver hair shed more of the red in flashing droplets as the woman spun to face her in a predatory crouch, and those terrifying eyes locked with her own.

“Mea?” Her voice came out unexpectedly loud in the silence of that place, and completely raw with desperate terror and dread.

“Oh hey Ghoumi,” she said, straightening up and waving. “Told you I’d deal with them!” She said happily, shaking some of the hair out of her face. It didn’t seem to help, though, as the strands stuck to the red on her cheeks and made the grin she was wearing seem truly deranged. She remembered Mea had promised something like that, but she hadn’t really believed it. Hadn’t let herself believe it.

“You can always count on me, Ghoumi!” Mea added with an unnerving amount of cheerfulness, given the situation. Despite herself, the dwarven girl found herself believing those assurances. That’s why she finally let go of the door to take a few cautious steps into the room, cloth pressed tightly over her face.

“Oh hey, while you’re here, would you help me look for my stuff? These idiots took it and I really need to wipe all this gunk off me, it’s seriously gross.” She demonstrated by scraping some of the red from her arm and flicking it off her fingertips. “I’m pretty sure it’s all in that other room over there,” she said, pointing at a different door than the one she was standing next to.

“Very well,” Ghoumi agreed, because she didn’t know how else to respond. The path to that door was by far the most covered in red and littered with misshapen pieces, so she took her time looking for a way through the slowly creeping pools. As she looked around, she instead spotted something else. The twins, the ones she’d told Mea might be kept in that very room, were being kept locked together while holding one another in a grotesque parody of an erotic pose. The two were staring at Mea with expressions of such abject fear and horror that Ghoumi decided she never wanted to know what exactly had happened in that room. At least, no more than she could already see all around her.

“Can we help them first?” She said, because she had to ask. Even though she didn’t know them well, not even their names, she felt responsible for them and wanted to free them as soon as possible.

“Oh, them?” That heavy gaze swung to fall on the twins, who tried to inch away from her even bound as they were. “Yeah, don’t touch those two yet.” A trickle of uncertain fear towards her tallfolk savior broke through into the strange quiet calm she’d built around her heart, bringing doubt. Some part of her wanted to ask why not, wanted to demand they be let free, but she didn’t dare and so Mea continued on in the silence of Ghoumi’s cowardice.

“There’s some kind of magic going on I don’t understand so I’m leaving it for now,” Mea said, as if reading her thoughts. Even if what Mea said wasn’t true, there was simply nothing Ghoumi herself could do to help the twins, so she gave up. She knew how to admit her own limitations, and when to bow down and keep her silence. A worrying thought had occurred to her however, one which made her change course from the twins and move closer to Mea, ignoring the pleading looks the two sent her way.

“Oh hey, watch your step. It’s a bit slick.” Ghoumi paused and looked again at the floor. It wasn’t suddenly more covered now than before, and she was already walking away from the worst of it, but maybe the warning was Mea’s idea of kindness.

“Are there any more guards?” It was something she had to ask, even if the answer was yes. Especially if the answer was yes.

“Yeah, there’s one more hiding in here that I need to ask a few questions, but it should be safe now.” Ghoumi avoided looking around at the evidence of why it was now safe, and took a choking breath before nodding her understanding. Mea slipped into the dark room and held an unintelligible and seemingly one-sided conversation until there was a scream. An awful scream. Then silence.

“Seriously? How can one man be so useless?” She heard Mea ask in a loud and offended tone, followed by a sigh and then the sound of something being dragged. She didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see the newest source of all that red. The shocked numbness was wearing off and she was beginning to understand the twins’ expressions a little better.

“Hey, so,” Mea said as she emerged from the darkened room with something in tow. The dwarven girl kept her eyes averted. “Hey, Ghoumi?” She didn’t want to look! “You okay, little G?” Startled at the strange nickname, she looked. It was, as she expected, one of the guards being dragged. Alive. Alive but seemingly unconscious.

“He’s alive? You didn’t kill him?” She immediately wanted to take her words back. Why would she provoke Mea like that? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Who, useless here?” She said, shaking the man like a ragdoll. “Nah. I have questions. Besides, he’s useless. No sense wasting time on killing someone like that, right? It’s just, I don’t know, like knocking over a bug’s nest or kicking someone’s pet. I’m not into meaningless violence like that, it’s just no fun.” Ghoumi nodded, even though that didn’t seem to make any sense.

“Why were you chopping their heads off?” She asked, wanting to focus on things that she might be able to understand. It had been bothering her the whole time, but Mea didn’t seem dangerous at the moment and it was fresh on her mind after the woman’s comments about meaningless violence.

“Oh, well, doesn’t take too many people faking being dead before you start wanting to make really sure, you know?” Ghoumi didn’t know, but it sounded like Mea had lived through some strange and dangerous things.

“But hey, so,” Mea said, dragging the guard along with her as she walked. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.”

“Huh?”

“About what I asked of you,” she said, pausing for a moment to lock eyes with Ghoumi.

“What—” she said before she remembered that Mea had wanted her to get something out of the other room, the one the woman was now heading towards while dragging the guard in one hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was so urgent, I thought it would be fine since it’s only been a moment,” she babbled while trying to keep the fear from her voice.

“Right,” Mea said, cutting her off. “I suppose it has. Just seems long to me, I guess. Being able to perceive the world at high speed is one thing, but since it’s an Ability I can’t exactly turn it off. Bit annoying you know? Ah, no, you wouldn’t know about that would you? Sorry, I get chatty when I’m excited.”

“Well,” Ghoumi said, caught off guard. Since she had no idea what the woman meant, she stayed focused on the one thing that seemed to matter. “Um, why don’t I just go get your things right now?” She squeaked out, rushing after Mea since she didn’t want to end up like the guards.

“Oh, no no,” she said, holding out her free hand to stop Ghoumi in her tracks. “Don’t worry about that. I was being completely unreasonable asking you to look for my stuff in the first place. I totally get it! Of course you couldn’t see that there aren’t any guards in there, that’s why you asked, right? It was also pretty insensitive of me to ask that of you anyway.” She said all in one breath before turning to drag the unconscious guard through and over the piles and puddles on her march to the other door.

“Considering. Um.” She gestured vaguely at the leaking mounds that surrounded the door in question, some of which she kicked out of the way. “Considering stuff. Yeah, my bad. Sorry again, I’ll find my gear, so don’t worry about it.” She scratched the back of her head, leaving a bright red splotch on her hair.

“I really messed up again. Um, if you could just make sure no one else pokes their heads in here, please? At least until I clean all this up. Mia wouldn’t appreciate all this. I’m, ah, sure you don’t either?” Ghoumi had been trying hard not to look too closely at anything, which Mea seemed to notice.

“Yeah, I really wasn’t thinking. I go to all the effort of having someone around who can keep me from causing trouble, then I go and end up doing the same old things I always do. Stupid of me, I know, it’s just so much fun finally getting to cut loose that I forget to be mindful of the important things, you know?” She shook her head with a rueful smile as she nudged the door open with a foot, leaving a bright red print on the wooden paneling, and disappeared inside while still dragging the completely limp man.

In the absolute silence that followed Ghoumi realized that the woman was the single most dangerous person she had ever met, and that being rescued by her had been more terrifying than everything that had happened before. Mea was kind and considerate and smart in uncanny ways. She was saving Ghoumi — saving them all! She was also an absolutely amoral killer, a bloodthirsty butcher, and completely insane. Ghoumi resolved that, no matter what happened, she could never, ever, tell her that.

A moment later she realized those half-lidded eyes were watching her again.

“Actually, why are you here? Didn’t you escape with everyone else?” She asked with a curious tilt of her head, the only part of her visible around the door.

“Nobody escaped, the door up there won’t open.” Ghoumi said, jumping on the chance to engage with something that she could actually understand.

“Ah.” The long silver hair, speckled with darkening red, swayed gracefully as she shook her head with a gentle laugh. “Just couldn’t be that easy, huh?” Easy? Ghoumi had to wonder what exactly about any of it had been easy, though not out loud. “I’ll figure something out, so don’t worry.”

“That’s what your sister said, too.”

“Sister? Oh, Mia. Right.” Were they not? Ghoumi had no idea. “Yeah, I bet she did.” Mea’s eyes took on a brief glow as she looked past Ghoumi and off at the ceiling for some reason. “Looks like they’re still up there, so I guess you can stick around if you want,” Ghoumi spun around and looked at the same patch of ceiling, but saw nothing.

“But seriously don’t let Mia in here until I’m done cleaning,” the woman said with a tone that switched seamlessly from cheerfully friendly to utterly implacable. Ghoumi nodded swiftly, trembling. She had no desire to be on the wrong side of someone who thought nothing of butchering a room full of guards.

Noble guards, at that. The city guard was one thing, adventurers and commoners with a little training and a few levels. Defying them might result in a fine, possibly a stint in jail. The noble guard were composed entirely of the sons and daughters of aristocracy, with all the resources that entailed. They were personally powerful, high level, well equipped, and politically connected. To cross them was unthinkable, or at least, it was for Ghoumi.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

“Alright, well, I best get to it.” Mea’s hand popped into view around the door with a friendly wave before she vanished again. The dwarf stood still, surrounded by a sea of red, mind spinning uselessly until she realized her face hurt. The hand holding the cloth against her mouth and nose was gripping with white knuckle force. The rest of her was just as tense, held a hair’s breadth from snapping entirely, and that came as a strange sort of surprise. She had believed herself too numbed by the years in the pit to be so affected by anything. Suddenly she began to cry, tears liberally streaming down her face to soak into the cloth, but in spite of that she knew it was too soon to lose herself. She’d been given a task.

“Sorry,” Ghoumi said to the still bound twins before picking her way carefully towards the tunnel door. They would have to fend for themselves, because she was absolutely not going to go against that woman. She slipped out into the tunnel and carefully closed the door behind her before sitting slowly against the frame. She started laughing despite the tears because the sewer stink was so much worse than that lake of blood. It was the stupidest thing to care about, but she held onto that absurdity because it was better than feeling nothing at all.

Eventually she started hearing noises from the other side of the door. Things being dragged, clangs of metal on stone, even something that sounded like sweeping. It went on and on as she sat there thinking. Thinking about eyes in the dark that promised death, trying not to think about the room behind her where the promise had been delivered. Thinking about how just talking with Mea had dispelled her initial impression. After all, she seemed so nice when Ghoumi wasn’t looking at her face! Maybe a person could be both terrifying and nice?

The important question, though, was how she should interact with that person going forward. Run away as soon as possible? Ghoumi couldn’t imagine treating the person who saved her, saved all of them, that way. Saella wouldn’t do that, and if Pa knew she’d done that, she wouldn’t be able to face him ever again. So, what should she do?

Before she could come to any concrete conclusions, and just as she was wondering how long she’d need to sit there, the sound of lots of shuffling little steps descending the stairs very very slowly reached her as everyone returned. She waved at them and was pleased to note that some of the life returned to their faces when they saw her sitting there. The maybe-twin dashed ahead of them, the light still nestled in her hair, and Ghoumi stood up somewhat shakily to greet her.

“Where’s Mea?” In hearing her ask that question it struck Ghoumi that a normal sister would ask after her sibling’s wellbeing. But they weren’t normal siblings, that much was clear after seeing what she’d seen. Ghoumi also now knew exactly why the aurum girl hadn’t been concerned about Mea to begin with. There was no reason to be worried over someone like that.

“Miss Mea is inside, but told me to make sure no one goes in for now.” She really hoped the girl listened, because she couldn’t possibly stop her by force.

“Oh,” she said, golden head tilting to the side with a look of intense concentration on her face. That the light tilted too was unexpectedly funny and Ghoumi had to stifle her laughter.

“Okay then! If Mea says so, Mia will stay out,” she said cheerfully. Ghoumi was so relieved she couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, which earned a frown, but she just didn’t care anymore. Not after everything that had happened.

“So, your name was Mia, then?” Ghoumi asked, still giggling a little. It was a name she realized that she’d heard several times already, but hadn’t properly connected things together.

“Yes!” She said, all smiles. Ghoumi waited, but the girl didn’t seem to have anything more to say. She just stood there humming tunelessly, swaying back and forth slightly.

“Mia,” said a sudden voice from behind. “Don’t tell me you didn’t introduce yourself. We’ve talked about this, it’s important that you introduce yourself to people.” Ghoumi spun around and realized the door had opened without her noticing, and there stood Mea. She, and what of the room Ghoumi could see, were both clean. The metal stench of blood remained, however, causing many of the girls to flinch backwards.

“I’m sorry,” the aurum girl pouted, ignoring everyone else’s reactions.

“Wrong” Mea said, reaching over to bonk her twin lightly on the head, which also dispersed the light in her hair. “Be mindful instead. Mistakes aren’t about being sorry; sorry is just recognizing you did something wrong. It’s more important to take the chance to learn something from your mistakes and be better next time.” Mia nodded after a moment while covering her head, but Ghoumi was just wondering what kind of dream she was having. The blood-soaked terror had been replaced by someone handing out weird life lessons. It was just too surreal. With a sudden clap that made everyone jump, Mea turned her attention to the rest of the group.

“Now! Seems like the escape plan didn’t work out,” the crowd of faces had already been despondent, but hearing that put so bluntly was still a visible blow. “Oh, no need to be so grim. We just need to think of something new! Everyone come in, there’s food and drink that the guards left here. Oh, and clothes too! I’m sure you’re all tired of what you’re wearing.” She began ushering everyone inside. Ghoumi was a little hesitant but couldn’t see a speck of red anywhere. Nor any sign of the bodies.

“The room over there is full of beds and clothes,” she said, pointing at the doorway the living guard had been dragged from. “Take whatever you like, it’s yours now! There’s a small pantry right there in that alcove, I only took a peek but there’s some bread and fruits, plus whatever’s scattered about.” Ghoumi knew just why things had become scattered about and had no interest in eating at all. Some of the other girls didn’t have her qualms and started in on whatever they could reach with ravenous abandon. Not all of them were as small as she was, so she understood. Another loud clap stole everyone’s attention again.

“That room,” Mea said in a commanding tone, “is off limits.” She cheerfully pointed at the doorway that had seemed like the focus of most of the fighting, and it did have a little smear of red still on the paneling. That explained where the bodies had gone. “Understood?” The smile didn’t change, but it suddenly felt sinister. Many of the girls flinched, poor Vuelln fell onto his backside, and even Mia ducked her head.

“The last thing is these two,” she walked over to where the two terror-stricken twins were bound. “There’s some kind of magic binding them and it’s just too complicated for me to understand. It’s unfortunate but since it’s possible they’ll die if we do something wrong, I’ll have to ask that they’re left alone for now.”

In that moment, Ghoumi found she’d made a decision. Mea, Miss Mea, was a friend. She’d thought about it a lot, and even if she was a right terrifying friend, Miss Mea been good to them. Really what better kind of friend could a small gal like her have? With that settled in her mind, she sidled up into the empty space surrounding the woman that everyone else ­­was avoiding and tugged on her hand. She startled and cast Ghoumi a look that felt like a cold sword to the guts before immediately flinching and putting a hand over her face. For a long moment she said nothing at all.

“Yes, how can I help you?” Miss Mea said after a moment, in a tone of voice that seemed slightly forced.

“Are you alright, Miss Mea?” Ghoumi asked, trying to peer up through Miss Mea’s curtain of hair. There was a strange high-pitched noise that sounded suspiciously like the one Ghoumi’s younger sister had made when her Pa had agreed they could keep a pet. She wondered if she was being mocked, but Miss Mea recovered before she could give it any further thought.

“Oh, never better. Just a small, um. A small fit. Yes. Don’t worry, it will pass.” She coughed and a gleam of gold became visible through the hair. “Now, did you need something?”

“Oh right. No, I was just going to ask if you had, um.” She glanced at the red smear on the door and decided to change what she was going to ask. “Did you find your things?”

“Yeah!” She patted an unusually slim but plain sword belted at her hip. “Mine, and Mia’s, and a bunch of other stuff too. The person who lived in that room,” Ghoumi shuddered, not wanting to remember that beastly captain, “sure liked to collect stuff.”

“I... do you think I could take a look?” The hint of gold behind the hair became stronger and she hastened to explain. “Some of my stuff, maybe she still had it there?”

“Oh, yeah maybe. You’d die if you went in there right now though.”

“Why?” She blurted out without thinking and immediately regretted it.

“Heh. That’s where I’m cremating all the bodies of course! Also autoclaving all the equipment so I can use or sell it. Or give it to you guys I guess.” An answer that seemed to explain everything, even while Ghoumi understood nothing. She decided to let it go at that.

“Well, that’s good. Um, so, what are we going to do now?” The noble guards were gone, though the lord probably had more at his estate. Ghoumi didn’t really know, but she hadn’t recognized any of the guards stationed there the few times she’d been dragged to the manor. There was still the city guard to consider as well, though they mostly just manned the gates and walls. But even if every single one was accounted for, they were still stuck with no way out.

“Good question, that’s what Mia’s for.” Ghoumi had no idea what that response meant at all. What good would someone simple like that be? The woman unfolded upwards, reminding Ghoumi again just how absurdly tall she was. “Hey Mia, come here please!” The floor shook as she came bounding over immediately.

“You know, Mia, I couldn’t help but notice that you came over from suspiciously near that door. The one I said was off limits. Now, why might that be?” The aurum girl looked around in the most obvious admission of guilt Ghoumi had ever seen while Miss Mea began making strange finger pinching motions in the air.

“Um. Mia doesn’t know,” she lied, refusing to meet her sister’s eyes.

“Does Mia know that lies have consequences?” Those hovering pinchy fingers immediately gripped Mia’s nose. “How about this? What does Mia’s hero think about lying?” The nose grab had merely startled the girl a little, if Ghoumi was any judge, but the moment a mention was made of this hero person her eyes welled with tears. She became so overwhelmingly shame faced it was actually funny, making the dwarf once again glad she had the cloth to hide her smile.

“You can’t just wish something to be the way you want it, just because you want it. You have to put in the work all the time, every moment of every day, and make it come true with your own efforts. That starts by always telling the truth, or if you can’t do that – and sometimes you won’t be able to – then at least don’t lie. That’s how your hero did it, that’s how you have to do it.” Miss Mea said before letting go of the girl’s nose and patting her on the head. “So. Why were you over by that door?” The girl sniffed and rubbed her nose for a moment, but surprisingly didn’t sulk.

“Mia was curious,” she said.

“Good! You should be curious. A random door was forbidden? Of course you’d wonder why! That’s what I mean about being mindful. See, all you had to do was come and ask me. That’s what Ghoumi here did, and I told her the answer.” The dwarf wanted to protest immediately as the aurum girl looked down at her. Why was she being included? She hid behind Miss Mea to avoid the gaze.

“Don’t fall prey to your desires and follow them blindly, Mia. Think about what you want and why, and then once you have you’ll be able to figure out how to get it. But it’s not enough to just succeed, you have to do better than that because it’s easy to win when you make sacrifices. Believe me, that’s just a slow way to lose. Instead, aim to achieve your ends and increase your means at the same time, because life goes on way too long to get by just through sacrifice. It’ll be harder that way, but I believe in you.”

“Mia understands,” she obediently said, though Ghoumi doubted someone simple like that could grasp weird and out of place life lessons any better than she did.

“Right, so, that’s all a bit esoteric and complex on its own. Instead, let’s use our current situation as an example and a chance to put it all into practice. I’ll summarize everything I know about things here, and you tell me what we should do, okay?”

Mia nodded.

“Then, here we all are,” she said, gesturing around. “We escaped the pit, the guards are gone, but the door up there seems to be stuck. We could probably figure out how to open it, but then what? Dress in the guards’ clothes and walk out?” It was the kind of question Ghoumi had been thinking about while trudging up those too-tall stairs, but had set it off as a worry to address when it became more relevant. It was nice to see someone else was thinking ahead.

“That was a nice shop up there with plenty of people in it. Well armed people at that! I don’t think they’d be fooled, but let’s say they are. Or we can say they don’t care, and we all walk out. Then we’re in the street, wearing guard clothes that don’t fit very well with no money and nowhere to go.” Ghoumi found herself nodding along.

She hadn’t thought all that through yet, but they were very real and pressing concerns. The nobles and guards were the ones behind it all, so there would be no help from that side. They were all too old now for an orphanage, except for Vuelln, and no one was going to give them charity. Not with so many to look after. At best some of the prettier ones might be taken in, but that wasn’t likely to be a good thing.

“Maybe we could take care of them, you and I. That’s one answer.” Mea continued. Ghoumi looked up in wonder at such an idea. Staying with someone so obviously powerful would be perfect, she’d never have to worry again about being abused.

“But we can’t. We don’t have the money to feed them, and we don’t have a house of our own or any other way to shelter them all. We could choose a few to look after. Maybe just one. I think we could manage that.” Miss Mea turned slightly to give Ghoumi a smile that had no trace of the usual sharpness. She began to feel sick.

“How about it? What’s say we leave everyone else behind and you escape with us, Ghoumi?” She wanted to say no. She had to protect the others, she was responsible for them. She wanted to say no. But could she?

The consequences had been laid out pretty clearly. If she said no, she would probably die — slowly and miserably of cold or starvation in some back alley. In fact, it was almost guaranteed that they all would, if she tried to take care of everyone by herself. Miss Mea was offering her, and only her, a way to live. She could survive, selfishly abandon them all and see another day. But if she did, could she live with herself afterwards? Could she afford not to, when she would at least be alive to have the luxury of feeling guilty?

It was the most awful choice she’d ever been asked to make.

“But, you know,” Miss Mea turned back to her sister and continued, “that sure sounds a lot like sacrificing everything we tried to do here, and I don’t think heroes make choices like that. Do they, Mia?” The golden ringlets were flung about as the girl violently shook her head. “Good. So then, can you think of a better option?” The aurum girl sunk into thought, for whatever good that would do, while Miss Mea beckoned Ghoumi a few steps away.

“Might take her a while, but she’ll come up with something. A way to save everyone.” She cast a very fond look at her sister before the expression slipped off her face with worrying speed and the usual nearly murderous one resumed its place.

“So, that useless fellow. You know, the guard that survived? You’re welcome to rough him up if it’ll make you feel better, but I think it would be good if you came along when Mia and I question him. Are you willing to do that?” Ghoumi gave that a moment’s thought and believed that she would have told anyone, even herself, that she didn’t feel any particular way about the idea.

It would be a small thing; a few questions to a man who was in no position to threaten anyone anymore, so there shouldn’t have been a problem. There were questions she had wanted to ask for a long time, and others that Miss Mea might not know enough to ask. She’d be able to see through at least some of the lies, since she’d been around long enough to hear things. In spite of all that, in spite of how calm she thought she felt, her body started shaking. Uncontrollably shaking. Just the thought of facing one of those guards had her trembling, suffocating on nothing. She took the cloth away and panted because, as tainted as it might have been, she needed more air.

“I’m sorry,” she said and began repeating it over and over, barely even realizing that she was talking at all. She didn’t want to disappoint Miss Mea, but when she thought too hard about summoning up the courage to face the guard anyway, she started to hyperventilate, her vision slowly constricting.

Everything came apart in a blur then. A confusing kaleidoscope of images, thoughts, memories, and feelings she’d been desperately holding back.