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CHAPTER 3: DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

Mary was falling.

As soon as she’d hit [PLAY], the mountain lake vanished from under her feet. She fell screaming through an endless blue sky, tumbling frighteningly fast towards the white clouds below. The enormous sun behind her burned her back. Two moons hovered at the edge of the horizon as if mocking her. The wind shook her violently, but without sound. All she heard was a single crystalline note echoing from everywhere at once. Another clear note joined the first, playing from an unseen string instrument. Their eerie resonance shivered with anticipation.

The floor of clouds leapt up to meet her. Mary curled in a ball, arms up to shield her face. She plunged into the white mass, and it felt like being slapped with a wet rag. In an instant, she was soaked and blind. The haze blocked her sight in every direction. She could not even see her own hands.

It was terrifying.

And in a breath, it was over. Mary broke through the last layer of clouds as if dropping out of a suspended sea, gasping and wiping the water off her face. Trails of condensation dragged behind her along with her drenched hair. The pounding of bass drums echoed her racing heartbeat, and singing voices joined her fall as if an invisible angels’ choir was chasing her.

Immediately, she was blown away by the view below.

On one side, fields and forests of impossibly vivid colours sprawled for miles as far as the eyes could see. They ended in the distance with dark, snow-capped mountains that blocked the horizon with their menacing bulk. Here and there, scattered, moss-grown ruins peaked out of the dense vegetation, hinting at mysteries to be uncovered.

On the other side, the untamed ocean spanned until it merged with the sky. Near the shore, the sparkling azure waters moved placidly. But out far, hurricanes and monstrous waves raged. Scary shadows appeared with each flash of lightning the storms spat out, sending bolts of angst down Mary’s spine.

Tucked between the two opposite wildernesses, a medieval port city of epic proportions stood proudly. The metropolis of stone, wood and cob could rival modern Earth cities in scope—if not in height. Every colourful building looked like it was dreamt straight out of a children’s fairy tale. A motley crowd filled the city streets with organic chaos. Many didn’t appear human, and the fashion was all over the place. A magnificent castle of pink sandstone and blue-tiled spires rose at the heart of the city. The keep would have fitted right in at Disney World if intimidating fortifications did not temper its cartoonish appearance.

Up in the sky, Mary wasn’t allowed any time to panic or to wonder how she could notice such fine details from such a vertiginous height. A strong gale picked her up, transforming her freefall into a soaring flight. Faster than a fighter jet, Mary darted away from the city over untamed plains and wild forests, the heavenly music pursuing her.

*RRRRROAAAAAAAAARRRRR*

The ear-splitting roar tore through the glorious harmony and ripped a started yelp from Mary. In front of her gaping eyes, a titanic reptilian abomination leapt up from the forest. Two leathery wings carried the monster straight towards her. Hungry maws opened wide, their fangs each longer than Mary’s arms. Shrieking in terror, she tried to swerve away, to barrel, to drop, to tumble—to escape somehow. However, she had zero control over the strange winds that carried her. Helpless, she screamed as the terrifying creature closed in.

An explosion brutally blew the nightmare beast off-course just as its monstrous jaws were about to cleave Mary in twain. Shocked, she witnessed a stunning woman fly by at extreme speed, standing atop a swirling tornado of flames. Her outfit belonged in an Arabian harem, and fierily glowing red tattoos covered her tanned skin. Long pointed ears protruded from her curly ginger hair.

Mary’s gaze was attracted to something darting through the forest below. A figure clad in black wraps was running on top of the canopy! Never slowing, they jumped from one treetop to another like a dancer on solid ground, making a mockery of gravity. A long and furry tail trailed behind them, and a pair of triangular ears stood above their masked face.

Using a flexible branch as a spring, the cat-person launched into the air so fast they briefly blurred. They reappeared somersaulting above the gargantuan winged monster, spinning mid-air with inhuman grace, and landed a flying kick on top of it. The shockwave was felt even by Mary. The scally beast was literally swatted out of the sky.

It plummeted towards a tall rock emerging through the canopy. Atop the stone spire stood a large man clad in heavy metal armour. Taking a stance, he held up a sword almost as long as he was tall and half as broad as he was wide! A bright golden sheen covered the blade, pulsing like a heartbeat. He swung the weapon. A crescent of light dashed from it through the air and cleanly bisected the house-sized creature. Both halves fell limply into the woods.

Everything had happened in a flash. None in the trio paid any attention to a jaw-dropped Mary as the flying woman continued to speed away uncontrollably.

The further Mary flew, the wilder the scenery became. She passed glowing rivers coursing through purple skies, boiling lakes effusing claws of red mist, moving mountains on wheels of cogs, islands made of iridescent glass, ruins wrapped in unnatural darkness, and herds of magical creatures running across planes of petrified blue grass. Each time, she could only catch a teasing glimpse before the winds forced her to leave the unbelievable scene behind. All the while, the glorious music never stopped rising, drums speeding in tandem with her heartbeat.

Eventually, she came upon a vast plain under an angry maelstrom of thunderclouds. The music abruptly rose in savagery and volume. The drums quaked, and the strings shrieked. Mary could feel the blood pumping sympathetically in her veins.

In every direction, humanoid warriors fought relentlessly against an endless flood of creatures of nightmare. Abhorrently deformed, they hurt too look at. Mary felt her stomach quiver and her throat swell. Under a torrential rain, amongst flashes of blinding lightning, weapons clashed against claws, blood and limbs went flying, bolts of searing energies filled the air with ozone, explosions and fires filled the skies with thick smoke. Barely discernible through the darkness, a large winged shadow overlooked the battlefield.

Riding atop a gigantic feathered horse, a large, muscular woman in tribal armour pointed her bloodied polearm at the horde. She roared words Mary couldn’t hear over the music which had turned mad. The woman charged, and a tide of people followed, stomping through the mud, all roaring soundlessly in the wild rainstorm. The scene was as eerie as it was powerful.

A horde of abominations ten times their numbers rushed to meet the woman’s army from the other side. The two forces collided in an eruption of frenzied drums, crazed strings and brutal chorus.

Mary didn’t see the conclusion. The draft picked up again and pushed her into a dizzying upwards spin. Like a rocket, she rose above the battlefield and pierced the black storm above. Purple lightning cracked and blasted all around her, titanic shadows flashed in the dark and confusing cathedral of thunderclouds that surrounded her.

Then she burst above the clouds into a clear and peaceful blue sky, and the music abruptly stopped. In the immensity above her, the same words she’d seen earlier appeared in bold, impactful letters.

UNTOLD TALES

Carve your own legend!

Mary released the breath she hadn’t realise she’d been holding.

She looked around in wonder as fog filled the sky and a valley faded into view, framed with snow-capped mountains and misty forests creeping on their sides. A couple of those scary lizards were flying in the distance, but none seemed to pay any attention to her. A lone horseman was riding away from her.

It was peaceful yet wondrous and eerie at the same time.

Her bare feet touched soft grass. The name and slogan of the game still floated in the air before her, along with a subtitle “Act 1: Age of Reconquest” and again the same menu: [PLAY], [STORE], [SETTINGS], or [CREDITS]. In a bottom corner was a small reminder her license expired in 364 days.

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Mary stood there, panting, her heart very gradually slowing down. “Jeeesus!” she hissed. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around what just happened. She’d never been a roller coaster, not as a kid, not as an adult, but she imagined it felt quite the same as being dropped on one without warning, only to the power ten thousand.

She patted the top of her heaving chest, trying to calm her heart. She was surprised to notice she was now wearing a sheer, long white linen dress. The design was overly prudish—covering just about everything of interest—but the cloth was so light she hadn’t even felt she had it on.

Disregarding the menu—also mildly afraid it’d throw her into outer space next—Mary tried to walk away into the beautiful landscape. As a city-bred girl, she couldn’t help her curiosity for the rampant nature. However, after barely a few steps, she bumped into an invisible barrier. Trying another direction bore the same result. Mary quickly realised she was confined to a roughly five-metre radius around the floating text. The rest was just a fancy background.

She sighed, moved back to her starting point and resignedly pressed [PLAY] once again.

However, bracing herself for another skydive turned out to be useless. A wooden floorboard emerged under her feet, followed by cob walls all around and completed with a roof. Furniture painted itself into existence, and soon, Mary stood in a very cosy tavern. There was no one else at the half-dozen tables, but a powerful fire burnt in the hearth and gave off a pleasant warmth.

Mary had to snort. No matter where she went, even in the depth of a fantasy VR game, she seemed to somehow always end up in a bar.

“Welcome, Player.” A low, deep and soothing voice with an underlying rasp startled Mary. She jumped and spun around, her right hand reflexively going for her purse and the pepper spray inside. A beat too late she remembered that she didn’t have it and why. This was virtual reality, and nothing bad could happen to her here—at least, nothing she couldn’t escape by logging out. It was a strangely staggering revelation.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Opposite her, on the other side of a sturdy wooden counter, stood a dark-haired woman who looked like she could arm-wrestle a truck—and the truck would leave its phone number afterwards. Her brawn detracted in no way from her intense femininity, and Mary found herself staring.

Shadowed eyes stared back with undivided attention. Soft pink lips hooked up in a small knowing smirk. A thin, vertical, black chin tattoo attracted the gaze to them, contrasting on her extremely pale skin. Her hair was a mess—at the same time matted, beaded, dreaded, and braided, several strands falling over her narrow, heart-shaped face. With her Celtic halter top baring powerful arms and her black feather collar, she looked less like a medieval innkeeper and more like she was part of a lesbian metal folk band.

“Who’re you?!” The blonde snapped out of her daze and was instantly on the defensive. She appreciated moderately to be sneaked upon—and ‘moderately’ was low-balling it. She hated it! Too many nights spent sleeping with one eye open, staring fearfully at her childhood bedroom door…

The woman chuckled once, clearly finding the situation amusing, unlike Mary. Turning around, she picked a yellow glass bottle on the shelves behind her and produced two wooden shot glass from somewhere. She handed one to Mary, filled dangerously close to the rim. “At ease, Mary Chaste. I am Origin, but please call me Gina. I am here to guide you through creating a brand new you.”

“How do you know my name?” Mary made no gesture to take the cup. Unfazed, ‘Gina’ set it down on the counter, her gaze never leaving the blonde’s. Unsettlingly, her eyes didn’t seem to blink as much as they should, and only now Mary noticed the woman’s heterochromia—her right eye, a pale blue, and the left one, pastel purple.

“It’s right there in your user profile.” Gina gestured, and a floating blue rectangle appeared in the air, filled with Mary’s ID data she had uploaded during her registration. “Twenty-eight, going on twenty-nine, and… allergic to bees.” She read of some of it and smirked again—that same subtle, know-it-all smirk that only lifted the right corner of her mouth.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“It’s not. Just some standard public medical data.” The blue window vanished. “My role is to assist you in creating your player avatar. It is only natural I have access to certain pieces of information. Let me reassure you right away that I am bound by ironclad confidentiality clauses not to reveal any of it. I couldn’t share your personal information even if I wanted to. –Careful now, kitten. It’s got a bit of a kick.” She added the last part when Mary finally lifted the cup to her mouth.

“Don’t call me kitten.” Mary ignored the warning and unhesitantly threw back the shot.

It took her the whole of two seconds to deeply regret her action. Molten steel seemed to pool in her gut. Her throat was one big scorch wound. She collapsed against the bar, heaving and sputtering—and was that actual fire that came out of her mouth?

She looked up, blinking away tears to see the barkeep leaning against the shelves of bottles. Gina set down her own empty cup, a twinkle on mischief in her two-coloured eyes, which seemed to say, ‘Told you so.’ Narrow-eyed, Mary replied by silently flipping the bird before again faceplanting on the counter, much to the brawny woman’s raspy hilarity.

When Gina laughed, it sounded grinding rocks and the rustling of a distant waterfall. It made no sense, but that was the image that came to mind. Strangely, it wasn’t an unpleasant sound at all.

The pain in Mary’s bowels was rapidly fading. Soon, it was as if the blonde had never tasted that infernal drink. She straightened, rubbing her throat in confusion.

“It’s all a limited simulation, kitten. We can’t have you hurt or drunk in Character Creation. Can you imagine someone trying to design their body while plastered?” The innkeeper shook her head. Mary grimaced, many troubling ideas flashing past her. “It used to be different in the early days, but that quickly got patched along with all those restrictions. Common sense stuff, I’ll admit. Sadly, it sucked a lot of the fun out of things. The things I’ve seen… I did tell that guy that a three-foot-shlong wouldn’t be practical, mind you. But did he listen to me?” A mocking huff from the brawny woman answered her own mostly rhetorical question.

Mary dropped her cup on the counter with a tack. “Free alcohol and no hangover? Why didn’t you say so right away? Another shot. And I told you not to call me ‘kitten’.”

“So demanding…” Gina purred with a chuckle but complied. Mary was aware of the woman’s gaze on her, but she didn’t comment and downed the shot.

Again, she immediately tried to vomit her lungs; though, she remained upright this time. And despite the pain, the blonde looked happy. “Ahhh! Now, that’s what I call a drink! Why the fuck did that idiot not tell me about VR sooner? Another! And did you say something about a two-footer shlong?” She licked her lips hungrily. “Tell me more.”

The innkeeper’s eyes twinkled in amusement. Without the need for more probing, she started entertaining Mary with anecdotes of the many stupid decisions players made disregarding her advice before the new restrictions were put in place—and several afterwards as well, each leading to urgent patching. She never went into too many specifics or revealed the people’s identities, but she had a talent for weaving tales that soon had Mary laughing her head off.

Not one to stay quiet for long, the blonde quickly reciprocated with complaints about unreasonable employers, people who’d hire her for indecent reasons, but then fired her if she was seen flirting with the students. “Hypocrites. All of them!”

There were few things humans bonded more easily over than alcohol and slander. And although Mary wasn’t getting any drunker, she grew considerably more relaxed over the next half-hour. Meanwhile, their conversation had devolved into an all-you-can-spurn buffet against every injustice the world had in store for a young woman simply trying to do her job. “But who’re they to deny a woman some fun? Right? …Right!?”

Eventually, the talk came back full circle. “…and so I told him he would undoubtedly trip on it, but he joked saying he would quote-unquote ‘slap bitches’ with it. Guess what happened the first time he met a swordswoman?” Gina concluded with that cheeky smug grin of hers. She had stopped bothering with a cup and drunk large swigs directly from the seemingly bottomless bottle.

Even sober, Mary erupted in drunken laughter. “You have it tough, huh?”

“Well, it’s my job…” The woman distractedly pulled on her left ear. A nervous tick had her rubbing the many piercing around its edge. “It’s not like I have much else to do with my days.”

“Girl, you need a hobby.”

Again, Gina’s eyes twinkled softly. “Maybe I do.”

“Why don’t we meet up somewhere? I’ll show you a good time!” Mary blurted out before she could stop herself. A blush crept onto her face. Shit, so much for not acting like a slut in heat all the time… Jesus. I can’t even claim it has been long. You got no excuse, girl.

However, Gina merely smiled like this was the most adorable thing she’d ever heard, the secretively amused sparkles never leaving her eyes. She leant forward, her elbows on the counter, emphasising the supple muscles in her bare arms. Up closer, Mary suddenly realised there were actual tiny motes of light drifting in the taller woman’s irises. “Unfortunately, Mary Chaste, I do not believe we live quite in the same… area.” Something lonely passed in her gaze but was gone too fast for Mary to identify it.

“Oh… right. I’d forgotten this was all virtual.” The blonde looked around the empty tavern. “It all looks so real.”

“Why, thank you. I try.” Gina straightened her back. “To tell you the truth, I do love my job, even when dealing with booby fools. I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do properly… But enough about me. We’re here to make your avatar.”

Mary nodded. “So, how does that work exactly?”

“Is this your first VR game?” Gina’s eyes flickered to something invisible then back to Mary. “I see here you have a… virgin account.” Mary wondered if she’d imagined the teasing in the wild innkeeper’s voice.

“It’s my first… game.” She tentatively flirted back—then she paused.

Since when was she ‘tentative’ about those things?

Since your interlocutor is an attractive barbarian goddess, and their conversation is more elaborate than asking you to bang without preamble, a snarky voice at the back of her head taunted her. Mary mentally clicked her tongue and ignored it.

“Not only VR. My first game. I mean, I played some on my phone…” Her voice trailed off seeing Gina’s spurning sneer at the mention of phone games. “But, well, they were boring, so I quickly stopped.”

The innkeeper huffed haughtily, but her gentle smile quickly returned. “Then, first, we’ll need to determine your playstyle. Would you describe yourself more of a fighter, a crafter or a socialiser?”

It was Mary’s turn to snort. “What is this? One of those phoney personality quizzes?”

“Well, in a sense, yes… Untold Tales now has many races available to players, each with their own perks and disadvantages, making them more or less suitable for different playstyles. We need to narrow the list down, or we might stay be here all day…” Gina’s voice dropped to a purr. “…not that I’d mind.” The shadow around her eyes strangely seemed to deepen. For the first time, Mary noticed the purple highlights in the woman’s mess of dark hair, which seemed to wave faintly despite the lack of wind.

Now Mary was sure the innkeeper was flirting with her. In fact, she’d have to be pretty dull-witted not to. A playful smile grew on her own pulpous lips. “Oh, I don’t know… I am pretty clueless. The blonde stereotype exists for a reason.” She blinked fast with wide eyes and a silly smile, trying her best to look like a naïve dolt. All the while, she resisted the urge to laugh. She felt so dorky! It was like she was back to being an awkward teenager. Then again, this was supposed to be a game, why not have some fun with it? Consequences be damned!

She bent slightly forward, arching her back subtly and wishing her linen dress had more of a cleavage. “I’d say I’m more of a socialiser. I don’t like violence, but I don’t want to be helpless. Crafting sounds tedious.”

The innkeeper’s eyes sparkled brighter as she unabashedly stared at Mary’s prominent chest. “I’ll be sure to be extremely thorough then, in my explanations.” She looked away briefly, focusing on seemingly empty air. “Something with good charisma then, but with decent PvP perks. More merchant or entertainer?”

“Merchant? I don’t want a job. I want to play a game.”

“Some people enjoy playing management roles.” Gina shrugged, her expression indulgent. “There’s a whole subgenre of games dedicated to it. Ever heard of Planet Tycoon?” Mary hadn’t, but the guess her mind conjured was enough to make her shudder. She could hardly believe anyone would want to do that in their leisure time. To her, it sounded like a particularly perverse form of mental torture.

Gina asked only a few more questions, which Mary answered readily, flirting the entire time. The innkeeper reciprocated kindly—but also retained a very professional demeanour which Mary somewhat envied.

“That should be enough… Now, before we move on to selecting your race, I must inform you another play–keh.” A snort escaped Gina, visibly unintended. Mary wondered what that was about. The other woman didn’t seem willing to elaborate, even though she did appear to find something very comical. “Apologies. I was saying that another more player has sponsored you. For more information about what the sponsorship is, please refer to the game’s official website. Your sponsor’s character name is El–keh… Elric Walker. Does it ring a bell?”

Mary puzzled at the woman’s strange behaviour. But the name was more important as it confirmed her already solid suspicion. I knew it! That man would hear from her! Who gave that kind of expensive gift to people without even warning them?! He needed a lesson in common sense! …but after Mary tried out this game for a bit.

“I think… Yes, that’s my neighbour’s.” 

“You don’t say…” Gina raised both eyebrows then shook her head and regained her seriousness. “Anyway. What it entails for you, concretely, is ten more golds to start with, for a total of fifteen.” Seeing Mary’s confused frown, she added, “Gold coins are a basic money unit, with silver and coppers for smaller transactions and with a fixed exchange rate of ten to one. One hundred gold can also be exchanged for a platinum coin, but nobody uses those… except vainglorious pricks trying to show off.”

Mary chuckled. Gina smirked and winked at her.

“Ten golds is a small amount, but at the start, that’s a nice bonus. Next, you get a coupon for a 10% discount on your first purchase from the auction house. I would advise you to wait until you need to make a large purchase to use that coupon. There is no time limit to use your coupon, nor any limit to the amount. The only restriction is to use it before level 10.” She winked conspiringly. Mary giggled at her silliness.

“The sponsorship also grants you the temporary title [Godchild] until you reach level 10. NPCs will instinctively know about your powerful person backing you. It won’t stop you from getting mugged if you traipse around a shady back alley at night, but it should reduce the numbers willing to harass you in broad daylight. You can also use your sponsor’s name to get favours from people indebted to them, and people won’t doubt your relationship. But use that feature at your own risk if that sponsor is more infamous than famous…” She trailed off, licking her lips as if searching for her words.

After a pause, she met Mary’s gaze to make sure she held the blonde’s attention. “Another free piece of advice. Do not let people know you’re acquainted with Elric Walker unless you are sure they are on good term with him.”

“Why?”

Gina raised her palms with a helpless shrug. “That’s all I can say. I’m already stretching things as it is. Player privacy clauses.”

“O—kay…” Mary tilted her head with a suspicious expression.

“Trust me. It’s for your own good. You’ll understand soon enough if you pay attention to gossip.” Gina’s sympathetic pat on her shoulder only served to confuse Mary even more. Nick had mentioned a few times that people were treating him unfairly because of some misunderstandings but… it couldn’t be that bad.

Could it?

As Mary watched the six-foot-tall, musclebound, Viking goddess innkeeper’s deadly serious expression, a growing sense of dread crept into the pit of her stomach.

…Nick, what did you do in this game?

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