As the literary genius of Bi Gho cannot be reproduced without actually watching this spontaneous play in live-action, the premise of this play will be summed up in a short summary that does not do justice to the play’s actual beauty, adventure, charm, and humor, which greatly entertained the audience.

This play, known as Eternal Heartbreak and the Rebirth of Love and written by Bi Gho over the past few weeks, starred two lovers (Bi Chanjuan and Dieter, the happy cough cough couple), who were separated by war. Due to a series of unfortunate events, Bi Chanjuan’s character fell into demonic shadow magic practices. As the two of them (cough cough) loved each other deeply as soulmates, as soon as the war was over, they crossed the entire earth searching for one another, all the while Bi Chanjuan’s character struggled to overcome the evil control of the shadow magic she had practiced during the war to protect herself and her people. The story of Eternal Heartbreak and the Rebirth of Love was, in short, the story of their journey to reunite as lovers through many struggles and hardships. Oh, how beautiful, and oh, how heartwrenching and heartwarming!

Except, as both Bi Chanjuan and Dieter seemed entirely repulsed by the idea of acting like lovers, the play became something more like a comedy.

Neither Finley nor Abrial (Yun Shi and Yao Xiu in this case, cough cough, loving husband and wife, cough cough) had many parts in the play, so they enjoyed quite the show from backstage with the other actors, who were all covering their mouths and holding their stomachs trying not to shriek with laughter.

In the opening scenes onstage, Bi Chanjuan and Dieter moved and spoke as directed by Bi Gho’s guiding hand of play director. Everything they said dripped with honey and syrup, but their expressions looked like they wanted to murder each other and then wilt away and die in a ditch somewhere.

“Oh, Yuanjun,” Bi Chanjuan choked, raising a hand to Dieter’s face. She grabbed it with such force that she left a red mark on his cheek. How tender and loving!

“Jingnu,” Dieter rasped, his face contorting with nausea, “How — lovely — you look today…like…a bushel of pale…m-magnolia blossoms…”

Bi Chanjuan’s hand tightened on his face, pulling his cheek flat. Her long golden nail rested dangerously close to Dieter’s nauseous emerald eye.

“Why, thank you…dear.”

The whole scene gave the impression of two people who spoke one way and wanted to act another — all of their words were so sweet, but it was like they wanted to kill each other as slowly and painfully as possible. A husband and wife who were secretly plotting how to poison one another — what a comedic dynamic! The audience didn’t have a summary of the play, so of course this was the only impression they received. Abrial couldn’t help but let out a loud snort watching this, earning a sideways look from the other actors who were covering their mouths. But even Finley, who always had a straight face, was pursing her lips shut and raising her eyebrows.

The play went on, with actors feeling the tug of Bi Gho’s direction to enter stage, move about, and speak as led. The war occurred, Bi Chanjuan and Dieter — Jingnu and Yuanjun, ahem — were separated, and their journey to find one another began. The audience was quite engrossed. The plotting was exciting, the character dynamics intriguing and mysterious, and the lines spectacular! What a play, directed on the spot by the Fierce Poet Bi Gho! Would these estranged, murderous lovers ever make it back to one another to strangle each other properly?

It was after some time and overcoming many obstacles on the protagonists’ journeys that Finley and Abrial were finally pulled on stage by Bi Gho’s invisible strings. Currently, “Jingnu” (Bi Chanjuan) had just experienced a qi deviation from her shadow magic practices and nearly murdered an entire town, but just barely stopped herself. Finley and Abrial took their places on one end of the stage in front of some simple, well-placed props resembling a cottage and garden.

It seemed Bi Chanjuan had been quite sucked into the acting at this point in the play, having been under Bi Gho’s careful directing influence for so long. She dragged herself across the stage, her hair a mess and breathing heavily, utterly exhausted from “internally fighting off that qi deviation” minutes ago.

She approached Finley and Abrial and in a haggard voice, asked:

“Excuse me for any intrusion, but would you have room for a weary traveler to rest tonight in your cottage? This one has been injured on the journey and needs rest.”

Abrial’s jaw almost dropped to the wooden stage right there. Was this really Bi Chanjuan?! Bi Gho’s literary magic skills were absolutely amazing! Rather than sounding like a prickly, gloating beauty who would love to slit your throat, Bi Chanjuan sounded like…a real, weary traveler! What the hell?

It was then that Abrial found her body begin to move on its own, and welcoming words formed in her mind, flowing out of her mouth as naturally as the air puffing out of her lungs:

“Yes, of course, you poor traveler! Our cottage is small, but we always have room for a traveling guest.”

A hand snaked around Abrial’s waist, sending a shiver up her spine and making her freeze. Her breath caught in her throat.

…Finley…had just slid her arm around her hip and…pulled her close…

Abrial’s cheeks flamed involuntarily, and she stared at Finley’s hazel eyes slightly above her own. Was this really…necessary?! They were just playing a husband and wife, after all. It wasn’t for real! Even if Bi Gho was be directing Finley to do this, it was really too much…!!!

“One moment,” Finley said coolly. Her voice was a little deeper than it normally was. “Before we welcome you in, weary traveler, tell us; we are experienced magicians living in seclusion to practice our craft. You have a strange presence around you. Did you recently experience a qi deviation?”

Bi Chanjuan sighed. With a knocking noise, she fell to her knees — oof, that had to hurt! — and bowed to the two of them.

“Please excuse this traveler for not telling you kind people earlier, but this traveler did experience a qi deviation. This traveler promises that the deviation has been overcome, and I will cause you no harm. But, this traveler is so weary and despairing after fighting it mentally…”

Abrial rushed forward to help Bi Chanjuan to her feet. The feeling was simultaneously pitying and revolting; as a character, as Yao Xiu, Abrial felt extreme pity for this poor traveler — it seemed Bi Gho could even emulate emotions in people to help their acting!—but as Han Abrial Chae-young, she felt nauseous to the point of gagging! When would she ever tenderly help Bi Chanjuan to her feet like this? Bi Chanjuan would scratch her eyes out if she ever even touched her!

“Don’t kneel, don’t kneel!” Abrial said hurriedly. “Whether you have experienced a qi deviation in the past or not is none of our business. Come inside, come in! I will make you some soup.”

Make you some soup? This was crazy! Abrial didn’t even know how to freaking cook! And when would she ever make soup for Bi Chanjuan?

As Abrial helped Bi Chanjuan stand and began to lead her back towards the cottage, Finley’s hand shot out to grab her wrist firmly and pull her to a stop. What kind of actions were these from a “husband”? What a rough husband! Why would Yao Xiu put up with a husband like this, who grabbed her waist and wrists out of nowhere? Seriously!

“We cannot let her in unless we can confirm that she is not still under the influence of a qi deviation of shadow magic,” Finley said sternly, her eyes unblinking. “I will not have a dangerous magician in our cottage who might cause harm.”

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“Oh, Shi’er!” Abrial groaned, pulling away from Finley’s grasp. “Come now, don’t be prejudiced against those who practice shadow magic! If she was still experiencing a spiritual deviation, she would have killed us already! How could she talk like a normal person?”

As Abrial and Finley bickered, two more characters appeared onstage — Ya Syaoran and Wu Dafu. Everyone had only gotten their own character cards to read, so no one onstage knew who these two were yet.

Words continued to stream automatically from Abrial’s lips. Upon seeing Wu Dafu, her eyes automatically lit up, and she called out with a wave,

“Ah Xiang! Come over here. This poor traveler doesn’t look dangerous at all, does she? My husband won’t let her come into our cottage for the night! So cold of him!”

At the word “husband”, an interested murmur rippled through the audience. Until this point, it was not clear whether Finley and Abrial’s characters were just very good friends who lived together — they were both women, after all — or supposed to be something else. Now, everyone knew — they were husband and wife!

Wu Dafu approached brightly, Ya Syaoran following close behind with folded arms. This was such a familiar scene that didn’t seem out of character for the two of them at all — Wu Dafu brightly approaching, with Ya Syaoran trailing coldly behind. Were they really characters from this silly play, or were they just acting as themselves? How come Bi Gho made them act so normally?!

Wu Dafu bent down to examine Bi Chanjuan, who had used all her strength to remain kneeling. His wide, warm brown eyes studied her carefully.

“Yun Shi, your wife is right — there really doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with this traveler! Why don’t you let her bring this woman inside and give her something to eat? She looks famished!”

“That’s right!” Abrial huffed, pulling Bi Chanjuan insistently to her feet. “Come on, let’s go in! My husband is always over-concerned. Oh, you’re limping! Ah Xiang, help me support her?”

Together, Wu Dafu and Abrial each supported one of Bi Chanjuan’s arms and helped her weary body towards the cottage.

“Stop right there,” came Ya Syaoran’s cold voice.

Wu Dafu and Abrial froze, looking over their shoulders. Ya Syaoran was glaring at them with eyes of pure ice! That was nothing unordinary, though. He was always glaring icily at people. Still, Abrial couldn’t help but shiver under that cold gaze.

“Get away from that woman,” he said harshly. “Both of you.”

“Yi Ming! Don’t tell me you would also rather distrust a person than help them!” Abrial scolded, continuing to help Bi Chanjuan towards the cottage with difficulty. Wow, Bi Chanjuan really was acting like an exhausted person, leaning on the two of them like a sack of rice — was she doing this on purpose to make things harder?! Abrial’s muscled groaned.

“I said, get away from her. Didn’t you hear me?” Ya Syaoran repeated, his voice dangerous. “She has strong traces of demonic shadow magic. I do not want my wife near such a person.”

Abrial froze.

The audience froze.

His…wife?

Who was his wife here? Abrial was Finley’s wife, so it couldn’t be her, could it? Unless Bi Gho had gone mad with her literary arts and decided to let Abrial have two husbands? But no…could it be that instead…

Abrial stared at Wu Dafu, who was bent over beneath Bi Chanjuan’s other arm. His face had gone a bright shade of pink, and he looked like he wanted to drop Bi Chanjuan and shield his face instead.

Could it be that…?!

“Husband…” Wu Dafu said weakly, his face going from pink to flaming red. He looked like he wanted to cover his face with a sheet and run a thousand miles away to dunk himself in a cold lake of ice. Abrial’s jaw nearly dropped.

Bi Gho really had gone mad putting the roles for this play together! First she had made Finley and Abrial husband and wife, and now she’d done the same to Ya Syaoran and Wu Dafu? What was she thinking?! Two women and two men? Meanwhile, Wu Dafu continued meekly:

“...This woman is injured…Don’t you think we should — ”

“Hold on.” Finley stepped towards Ya Syaoran, an icy-cold look on her face that Abrial had never, ever seen before. A shiver crawled down her spine. Since when could Finley look so…

Imposing?

Finley continued icily:

“You can tell your wife to get away…but how can you also order my wife around?”

Ya Syaoran blinked. “Did you not want her to get away as well?”

“Whether I did or not is not your concern. Ah Xiu, get away from her.”

Abrial stood there for a moment, faltering under Finley’s stern gaze. That gaze had such familiarity to it; it was the look Finley gave her whenever she did something dangerous “without regard for her own safety”.

Suddenly, Bi Chanjuan screamed. She clutched her head like a terrible sound was tearing through her ears and collapsed to the stage floor.

“She’s still experiencing a qi deviation!” Ya Syaoran shouted. “I knew it!”

“We know!” Finley snapped. Both of them sprinted towards Wu Dafu and Abrial, who both stood in shock as Bi Chanjuan thrashed on the ground. As though something invisible had hit her in the stomach, Abrial folded over suddenly, crashing to the ground and sprawling there as well. Clearly, nothing had actually hit her; this was just an act Bi Gho was making her pull, like Bi Chanjuan’s thrashing. But seriously, did she still have to make it hurt like that? Hitting the ground was no joke, that wooden stage was hard!

Something warm enveloped Abrial’s body suddenly. She froze. Heat crept up from her lower stomach to her face, burning everything in between.

Finley had fallen right on top of her, also struck by Bi Chanjuan’s imaginary deviated magic, so that their bodies were pressed against one another. Abrial’s layers of scarlet and black robes suddenly seemed far too thin; she could feel every curve and dip of Finley’s body like the way a blanket molds to a sleeping person’s form. Her vision went black for a moment…probably because of the weight of Finley falling on top of her. Yes, because of that.

When she opened her eyes again, Finley’s hazel eyes were blinking with deep concern just a hand’s width away from her own. Finley had propped herself up on her elbows and was studying Abrial’s face intently. Below, Abrial could feel either her own heartbeat or Finley’s throbbing between their chests.

“Are you all right?” Finley murmured, the words brushing Abrial’s face. Her voice was at its normal pitch; this didn’t seem to be a line fed by Bi Gho.

Abrial nodded slightly, her whole body slack. “I’m…all r-right. Can you…get up though?”

Finley shook her head, avoiding Abrial’s eyes. “Bi Gho won’t let me. I think we’re supposed to have fainted.”

Abrial’s stomach lurched. “Oh. O-Okay…”

The sensation of Finley’s curves digging into her body, and her leg forced between Abrial’s thighs in the fall, tortured Abrial. She held her breath, not daring to move an inch and mentally berating herself as Finley watched her from just above with strangely glittering eyes.

Breathe normally like a normal person, why are you breathing so fast?! Why is your heart beating like that?! How can you feel…like this when you’re a woman and she’s a woman and oh she’s definitely a woman, do you feel that? Fuck! How the hell can you think that kind of thing, that’s so disgraceful! Disrespectful! If Finley knew, she might just never want to speak to you again! How horrible would that be?! Seriously, this is just a play, and you two are just acting and you’re supposed to have just fainted so just close your eyes and pretend to be dead or something, ANYTHING except…except paying attention to THAT kind of feeling!!! Thank the immortals you’re not a man, if you were a man this would be the absolute worst situation possible in the entire possible situations existing in existence…on a stage and lying like…like THIS! Bi Gho, curse her, who writes something like this happening?! Bullshit! She’s just having fun! I hope her favorite fan cracks a thousand times! Please be over soon…

At last, the scene passed. While Abrial and Finley lay atop one another in the corner of the stage, on the other side of the stage, Ya Syaoran and Wu Dafu battled to calm Bi Chanjuan and restore her stable consciousness. Once they succeeded, Bi Chanjuan apologized profusely in tears (tears! Seriously?! From Bi Chanjuan!) and Ya Syaoran finally agreed to let her stay in his and Wu Dafu’s cottage, as her full consciousness was proven to be restored. Finley and Abrial “woke up”, were apologized to profusely by Bi Chanjuan (which Abrial would have gloated about internally if she wasn’t still shaken up from lying under Finley for what had felt like a torturous eternity), and the scene ended amicably.

For the rest of the play, Abrial sat behind the stage hugging her knees, rocking back and forth, and fiercely pretending to stare into space so that she didn’t have to acknowledge Finley, who was sitting right next to her, equally silent.

At the end of the play, all of the actors streamed onto the stage by Bi Gho’s direction, bowing dramatically to the crowd. They were met with roars of admiration and support from the audience, most of whom had thoroughly enjoyed this adventurous, dramatic, peculiar little play with such extravagant acting and interesting casting choices.

Abrial, who normally would have drank in the cheers and praise the crowd threw like rice at the actors, felt unnaturally dazed. She smiled crookedly, trying with all her might to avert her eyes whenever that figure in pale robes with honey braids entered her field of vision.

When she and Finley returned to the tent, both of them went straight to bed without a word. Normally, Abrial talked at Finley a lot about what she’d done that day and how she’d climbed to the fifth branch of a tree or caught however many fish or taught a certain risky move at blade fighting lessons. Today, the tent was silent as night, the only noise being autumn crickets chirping outside and the rustling of cloth as the young women changed into their night robes.

Abrial stiffly went to sleep with her back facing Finley, forgetting to even say “Good night.”

“Good night, Abrial,” Finley said stiffly.

Abrial’s heart leapt up her throat as she lay curled up away from Finley. Could she even trust herself to speak without her voice coming out as a high-pitched stammer? It was better to just pretend she had fallen asleep already. She slowed her breathing and didn’t answer.

The blankets shifted, then quieted. Finley had settled in to sleep, too.