Darla grabbed the door, shook its steel bars, and grunted as she slammed her shoulder against it. But the door only rattled in response.

"Damn it, we're locked in," Darla said.

Eve materialized midair amid our group, which caused Koko to growl. Her arms folded across her little chibi chest. Her bottom lip poked out, and her eyes looked like she was surveying sewage. Which she might have been.

We were in a long rounded tunnel. The walls were a rough-cut rock. Rays of lime green light seeped out from between the stone seams. The emerald light refracted in shimmers on the small putrid stream that filled the middle of the tunnel. Narrow walkways abutted the sides of the tunnel, but every hundred feet or so, a rusted metal grating bridged the steam.

"Fine," I said, "unmute."

"I tried to warn you," Eve spoke with condescension. "Once you enter a city dungeon, you can only leave through victory or death."

"You should have led with that," I muttered.

"Least helpful A.I., ever," John said.

"Fine, I, I will try to provide tactical support," Eve said. She must have realized that she was on the fast path to obsolescence and decided to be helpful. Either that or it had become a matter of self-preservation. I had no idea what would happen to her if I got killed.

Dank drips of sludge plopped down from the ceiling. Our shoes squished and squelched in mystery goop as we cautiously crept down the long tunnel. The rancid odor hit us like a wall as we stepped further in. The sickly humidity only made things worse. The stench seemed to cling to everything. Koko sneezed, and John gagged. Noah just pinched his nose shut. Darla looked stoic and unmoved by the foul scent. I guess working at the hospital was harsher than I imagined.

"Looks like we're in a sewer. I've never been in a sewer before," mumbled John.

"I find that hard to believe," Darla ribbed.

"Hope everyone has had their shots," I said.

"That shouldn't be a concern here," Eve said. "Usually, diseases aren't part of the challenge until you reach deeper levels."

"How many levels do you think there are?" I asked.

"There should be one floor for every nest that spawned, plus a boss floor," Eve said while tapping her foot in midair. "That's why taking out some of the nests first is so important. But, in doing it your way," Eve's snide tone had returned, "each floor you clear in the dungeon will destroy a nest on the surface. That way, people who attempt a dungeon too early don't die in vain."

"Again, clarification would have been helpful earlier," I said.

Eve was about to launch into a trade but paused. Her little chibi form slowly spun in midair. "They're coming," she said quietly.

Then I noticed it. The skittering of dozens of clawed feet against the stone floor. Then came the hissing and gnashing of teeth. Movement blurred at the edge of darkness in the flickering green shadows. Dozens of little malice-filled eyes gleamed at us in the dark.

"Stand back and spread out. Get a clear line of fire," I barked.

"Spread out where? It's too narrow!" Replied Darla.

"Quick, back up to the grate," Eve ordered. "Joseph, block the path. The rest of you spread out and keep Noah safe."

I really didn't like taking orders from her. But that actually sounded like a decent idea. It only took a moment to get my feet moving as we rushed a dozen yards back to the rickety steel grate bridge.

"Dire rats," Eve reported, "ERL 3 and 4. Shoot low to the ground."

Light flashed in the tunnel as John unloaded into the mass of bodies before Eve had finished talking. Rats stumbled and fell, and a few lifeless bodies splashed into the foul stream. They were the lucky ones. The rats that fell onto the path were chewed through or ripped apart by the comrades as they struggled to swarm us.

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The army of dire rats was nearly upon us when the front row suddenly slowed. The following rats slammed into them, piled up in a tangled mass of flashing teeth and swiping claws. It lasted only a second before an enterprising dire rat emerged from the top of the heap and launched itself into the air.

Time seemed to slow as my eyes narrowed and tracked the leaping rodent. My system-enhanced muscles tensed as I swung my bound weapon with shocking force. The hammer ripped through the air and through the dire rat. An explosion of bloody sinew shot from the creature and sprayed over its compatriots. Then its halves fell to the floor with two meaty thumps.

I kept swinging, and the pile of bodies rose higher with each passing minute. The process repeated ad nauseam until my shoulder ached from the impacts. The stampede finally had slowed to a trickle, then to a drip. And then nothing moved.

John lowered his pistols, but I still felt the gunshots reverberating inside my head. And I could feel the faint trickle of blood from my ears. The tunnel had become a horror show. The heavy smoke bit at my eyes and scorched my lungs. Dozens upon dozens of mangled rodent bodies had piled up en masse. A steady stream of blood and chunks flowed and splashed from the charnel pile into the sewer muck.

Then Eve was there, looking pleased with herself. Her hands waved and gestured to the pile behind us. But as she prattled on, a faint malicious grin crept across her face as she started to point at John, then Darla, and myself. Finally done talking, she placed her hands on her hips and stuck out her chin as if she dared me to say something. I looked at the rest of the group.

"Unmute?" I said hesitantly.

Eve facepalmed, then a blue screen popped up in my vision.

"Drink a healing potion, you noob!" It read.

I quickly found one in my inventory and made a show of it to the others before swigging it down. It had a strange snozzberry taste that made my tongue feel furry. The others quickly followed my lead, and Noah even gave one to Koko.

"Can you hear me now?" Eve asked. "Good. That went better than expected," Eve said. "But you're all still idiots. Now, as I was saying…."

"Hey, I leveled," John interrupted.

"As I was saying..." Eve tried again.

"Oh, I did too," Interrupted Darla. "I get to choose a second path if I want to!"

"As I…"

"Hey," I interrupted, "shouldn't my regeneration have taken care of this hearing loss?"

"Shut. Up. You. Fools!" Eve screeched in an ever higher pitch until Koko started to howl. We all turned to look at the A.I. "As I was saying. You did well, especially in piling up the bodies and creating a blockade. But you wasted too much ammunition. And you didn't shoot enough. You should have used your abilities more. And you," she finally pointed at me, "should have been further in front dealing more damage so the wonder couple wouldn't have to work so hard. And your regeneration only works quickly when you pour mana into it. And get some *squelch- squelch* earplugs!” Eve floated there panting. A rivulet of sweat dripped down her cheek. Did A.I.'s even need to breathe? She was a projection, after all, so what's with all the drama?

"Are you done yet?" I asked.

"No!" Eve screeched in reply.

"Mute," I said casually. "There, found my earplugs."

John flipped his pistols over in his hands and scrutinized them before holstering the hot iron. "Eve's right, though. I burned through two boxes of ammunition, and my mana dropped real low," he said. "Might be better to switch to .22 for now. Darla, let me check your weapon real quick."

Eve glared at John with an 'I told you so' face. The kind of visage usually reserved for men who had truly screwed the couch. I was starting to believe it was her default look.

"Daddy," Noah said while pulling on my shirt, "I got the rats! Did you see it? I made them slow!" His grin was massive.

I picked Noah up and hugged him tightly. "You did good," I said, "just be sure to stay safe." My two-day stubble rubbed against his cheek, and he pulled away. As I put him down, I noticed the back of his red t-shirt was getting sweaty, and I realized how warm it was in this rancid tunnel. Or maybe it was just the humidity. Either way, we needed to keep moving.

The other side of the tunnel was more corpse-free, so we followed that wall until we came to a T junction. I looked one way, then the other. But both tunnels stretched out into the darkness.

"Any idea which way?" I asked the group.

"Are we lost?" Asked Noah.

"How about we just go right?" Darla asked before peering down the tunnel. "Damn, what I wouldn't give for a G.I. flashlight right now."

"Duh-doy," John said, "I have an under barrel flashlight on my Sig." He drew the weapon from his black synthetic shoulder holster and tapped the light on. He shined it down both tunnels, but I couldn't see anything new.

Eve held up an oversized sign that read, "Why didn't you think of that sooner?"

Great, Eve was going old-school coyote super-genius on us.

"Give me a break," John said, "I just remembered it. And this is my first dungeon."

"I also find that hard to believe," Darla snarked.

"Ok, we go right," I said. "And to make sure we don't get lost…." I took the sharpened claw of my hammer and dug a "1" into the stone next to the junction. It was strange. As I started to press the claw into the rock, I felt a subtle spark of energy flow through me. It was as if the stone was speaking, and I could understand the grain and crystal that made up its surface. Then I remembered my ideal and focused on it, our connection deepened, and the stone parted for me as I drew into it. Interesting. Freaky, but interesting.

I turned to the group and said, "I'll lead, but John, follow close and turn on the light if you hear anything."

"10-4," answered my brother.

"Dad, Koko keeps looking the other way," Noah complained.

I gazed down the left tunnel, trying vainly to sense what Koko was noticing, then shrugged. "All the more reason to head right," I answered.