On a certain place of a remote land of Norofyarbusiness, two armies will clash in a battle which will be remembered in the history of Adbadom for its ferocity and bloodshed.
-REMEMBER THIS DAY, BECAUSE TODAY IS THE DAY YOU DIE!!!
-HAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHH
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That´s a little too much don’t you think?
Well not that I care. To my left side of vision there is a blonde-haired, with a little scar across the left eye dude who is screaming like a madman in crack leading a not that pitiable army. And that madman is my brother Argus...
...
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-THERE`RE SOME GOOD MEN KNOCKING OUR DOORS, LETS GO KILL THEM!!!!
-HAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHH
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Wuah… Georgie would sue you for sure if he hears you, you know?
Well I don’t care. Not even one bit, I would prefer to calculate which the end of PI is. Yeah…. Even if I hate math!
For the record… the blue-haired dude of my left. Who is copying the script the second season of… wait!! Was is the third? I’m not sure anymore… it’s been a long time since I saw the series. I wonder if it already over. I hope Jon ended with little girl…What was her name? Dayhenny? Donna? Lana? Fuck it; I will never remember it with this...*zun*
My pointless thoughts were interrupted for an arrow that could potentially blow my head like.. something... blowing hard?
-Wow I almost didn’t get to avoid that arrow. Hey assholes, that thing almost hit me
-Gagh! How you dare hurting our princess. You demons are going to die!!
A hero rush to the archi-super-not that awesome demon, holding the the sword of Infinity destroyer of darkness+10 level max hacked
-kah kah kah!!! Come at me then, you worthless human! says a blue-haired demon holding the staff of Ainz Ool Gown recharged and overloaded of awesomeness level max+ blessed with the sweats of Chuck Norris
Wuah… chunni level over 9000! Wait; did I hear that shit right?
… (Recollecting)
..(Analyzing)
.(Loading)
-hey, who the fuck are you calling princess!!??
*clang* the "demon"´s staff parried the "hero´s" "mighty attack" creating an imaginary shock-wave destroying all the nearby buildings
I see
-hey stop ignoring me!!
*clang* slash *clang*
Aaaaaaand they keep ignoring me? Yeap, they are….
Ok.... Ok! I got it..., you know I tried to be nice and be part of this stupid war but if you fuckers only bring me here to be the freaking princess-cough*cough* damsel in predicament then screw you guys, I’m ending this!!!
-hey bob can you help me with this?
-…
There is no response, it’s just a corpse!
Hmmn? Didn’t he hear me? The curse shouldn’t be effective with him…
-bob… Bob? BOB!!!
-goddammit Lenny that’s not my name!
-Sure Bob whatever you say… can you help me with this thing? Is a little heavy
-My name is not…!! *sigh* screw it, you wouldn’t listen to me
-good! What a reliable side kick
Now with the help of bob, I’m moving a “little artifact” to the plaza from my HQ, were the war is going out, positioning us just behind Argus. He looks like is going to win anyway… Ahnus dammit this thing is heavy!, note to myself number 445: I must tell Darius to help me add wheels to “peace maker… mk3” to improve transportation. By incredible it looks it took me three models to realize this flaw… whatever; it’s time to go boom!
-*sigh* is it here enough? Anyway what is this thing Lenny?
-A little new toy of Darius and myself which I humbly call “The pacifier…mk3”
-It says here in this rod “peace-maker” though
Shit…!
-you forgot the name of the thing you guys made?
-shut up!
-Hahaha... wait a minute! If Darius made it too, why he didn’t use it?
-…Is a bad habit of him to be all fired up in a project for our world domination, he can even forget about eat, sleep and shit if the occasion needs it but once he finish the damn thing with the minimal success he loses all the interest in it
-…that’s stup… no, it is him, then that make sense. So what does it do?
-Mwahahahaha, my dear friend bob the best questions are the one that can be answered by themselves
-Ok, stop that, you laughing like Darius now
-Really? Never mind, now can you hold that hard, long rod a little more high?
-like this?
-kukuku…more…
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
-…?? Like this?
-almost there…kukuku
-why are we whispering?
-…Its not funny if you don’t get it… no homo btw
-you know? This is why nobody wants to side with you at the times of war…
-Not really. It’s because I have this curse that makes me naturally unreliable to normal people. A gift from a god who can’t take a little joke and a slightly twisted personality because I expended several decades in some purgatory like resort
-…Weirdo…
-Yeah exactly there, now step aside and cover your ears
Now that we are on the right position, adjusted the angle… and the wind? Screw it, lest put manna through the runes to bring hell to this party. Now several of you (ok who the hell I’m talking to? is this some kind of trauma over my stance in the abyss???) are wondering what in the world is the “Punisher…Mk3” in the end right? A noisy rod capable to end a battle in one shot, can anyone guess it?
No? Yes? Ok!
Now to the ones who got it right….ding ding ding!
Yes, the answer is “what is a cannon?”!!!
Now that I almost filled completely the “storm bringer…Mk3” looks like my brothers finally have realized what I’m doing and are trying to come at me but it’s too late, I’m done! The runes were carved specifically to create the ammunition and reloading once fired the soccer size bullet, with a gap of 1.3 seconds each, this baby is the perfect tools for the summer’s slaughters, venting stress or get rid once for all those horrible cockroaches in your kitchen. Order it now, in you closest wallmart… or there will be as soon I create a wallmart in this world. Fufufu… you just wait world, you have no idea what I’m going to do to your economy when we grow up… Jaja…Mwahahahaha…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Insert 90`s joker laugh here*
Ups they have almost reached me. I better start fire now
*bang*
The look on their faces, If I could express it in a single word that would be… priceless. I mean the scare face of Argus is laughable, he probably is wondering how I got this thing but the shocked dumb-ass one of Darius is the one who won the prize. He probably remembered now he could have used the cannon to win this…
The firs shot goes to big brother Argus, carefully aimed with the ultimate precision to ha! in yar face nigga! now the force should be capable enough to rip his stupid face off but it look like his enhancements were able to protect him to a certain degree... That wont work twice but anyway you are dead!
*bang*
I fire a second bullet to Darius straight to the head followed with a crack sound. Its expected he would block it with a manna shield, not that it matters ´cause i knew he would do that as a reflex
I can feel a smirk from him, thinking he got me huh?
Yes, perhaps you may had created the device BUT it was moi (so homo...) who re-designed the bullets, a tiny detail we forgot. because the second bullet fired was supposed to be hollow! Not stronger than a BB gun but really noisy in comparison, stunning you just enough so i could...
*bang*
Fire again..!! (´`+,´`)
This time the shot was aimed to his sword... nah he call himself a mage so, little staff?
His blue eyes went purple just know, bob is reflexively covered his area with terrified face, probably imagining the amount of pain my dear brother his having right now, while shaking a little bit and looking at my direction observing at the demon lord incarnate, I wonder who is he looking? i see behind me failing to see any other human nearby so who?
Is it me? Cant be right? What did I do?
While i face my wannabe matoscientisto brother of mine shedding tears of blood, even i can see i went a tiny little bit overboard. Offering a silent prayer to Ahnu for the sake of my futures nieces as I watch his body slowly ceding to gravity with a silent thud i can hear a reeeally high pitched voice asking a single question...
-Why...?
...A man should have his priorities right, so lets be serious here..
-Its almost dinner. Mom is making chicken tonight and you know how mad she could get if we are late.
If it were another person, that person would be fuming stream out of his-her ears as an understandable response for my stupid statement but taking into account we are talking of MY brothers here...
-...ok...I´ll catch you up later...like in five... make that ten minutes ok?
What can i say? Family...
-Got it !