I hate writing. I hate writing. I hate writing. I hate writing. I hate writing.
Kassie said I should practice. I hate writing.
What is practice? Just repetition. I hate writing.
Dad taught me to write. I hate writing.
If it was not him, I would not bother. I hate writing.
Irinika says writing things down is important, it helps you remember. I hate writing.
She is wrong. I hate writing.
If I forget something, it wasn’t important enough to remember in the first place. I hate writing.
- Fer’s practice journal. Dated to some time before the Great War. Kept within the Divine Armoury, now the White Pantheon’s Closed Library.
Arascus sighed as he watched Kassandora leave, she went down the stairs. That was one problem down. Kassandora wasn’t a problem, but her mentality was. She wouldn’t describe herself as that, but he knew her better than she herself. Of all the daughters, she was the one most prone to overeagerness. It would be locked in a chest of pragmatism and buried deeper with a pessimistic realism, but it was overeagerness nonetheless. She turned as the staircase spiralled and looked up at Arascus. Bright red eyes framed by bright red hair and a lovely smile. She gave him a small wave and disappeared.
Arascus hummed to himself as he went up. How he found Kassandora, he honestly did not know. Of every Goddess he had adopted into his family, she was one who should have never theoretically joined, the one who should have been able to find her place in the world, the one humanity was most willing to accept. And yet, humanity only gave War a chance, he gave Kassandora a chance. And Kassandora, as much as she pretended she wasn’t, was a handful.
He went up to the room Elassa was kept in, Elassa and the Goddess who was the most competent of them all. Ironically the one that had never been tested by mortals. Fer sat there, back craned forwards, hands on the table, fingers tapping away as her mane of golden unbrushed hair spiralled over her back like a coat. She smiled when he opened the door but only part of her that moved where two cat-like eyes and the tapping fingers.
And Elassa on the other side of the table. She had been crying, her head was down, she lay against back of the wooden chair and was taking heavy breathes. She jumped at the door creaking, and her face went pale when she saw Arascus enter. Fer’s smile only grew as Arascus looked around the room. There were only seven chairs around the table, each one of a different size. The smallest two would be Iniri’s and probably Helenna’s. Kavaa and Kass then. Anassa. Neneria from the size of it, the largest was for Fer. That was the only one he would fit on too. “You’re back.” Fer talked like a little cat.
“I am.” Arascus said.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Arascus said as he made a circle around the table. Two sets of eyes followed him: warm yellow and trembling blue. He stopped behind Fer’s chair and leaned on it. “Kassie put you on Elassa duty?”
“She did.” Fer replied. “Look at her.” And her hands made two thumbs up. “Elassa is very well behaved, no escape attempts yet.” Arascus chuckled, Fer’s tail pranced from side to side. And then her tone went cold. “We’ve had a chat, Me, Kassie and Elassa here.”
“Did you now?” Arascus said. He put his hands on the back of the chair.
“We did.” Fer replied definitely. “It was very interesting.” Elassa’s face grew pale. Her eyes started sparkling with tears again. Arascus wondered what they had told her that got her to cry. He didn’t like the sight of it, but he didn’t have many reservations either. He made people cry too.
“You promised you wouldn’t.” Elassa said quietly. Fer clapped her hands together, sat up and tilted her head down.
“I promised I wouldn’t but it’s too important.” Arascus quirked an eyebrow up. Fer was usually better than this, when she spilled secrets, she’d do it secretly at least. “It’s only because I love Ana too.” Oh. That explained it.
“Apprentice and ascension.” Arascus said and Fer’s ears shot up. She turned to look up at him, eyes puzzled and mouth slightly open. Elassa’s jaw dropped as she looked at Arascus. He merely shrugged. “Ana told me back then.”
“And you didn’t tell us?” Fer asked, ears straight as if she was about to go hunting.
“Two reasons.” Arascus said, he held onto the chair and started to tip it forwards. “One. Does it change anything? Anassa is a Divine because she believes she is actually Divine so what difference does it make? Why are we here? We all believe we’re Divines too.” He started slowly pulling the chair back as Fer slid down off it. “And two, more importantly, Ana asked me not to tell anyone, that she’d say herself when she was ready.” He smiled. “Thanks for telling me, Kassie didn’t say anything.”
Fer jumped to her feet as she was about slide off. He quickly got into the chair before she could reclaim it. “It doesn’t change anything?”
“Does it?” Arascus asked. “Is Anassa any different now that you know?” Fer opened her mouth, crossed her arms, and closed her mouth. She looked past him, at the wall, her head tilted from one side to the other and back again. Arascus always enjoyed watching that show of thinking.
“No.” Fer said as she nodded to herself. “She’s still Ana.”
“Exactly.” Arascus replied as he brought the seat forwards. “Can you tell Kassie this? And don’t tell Ana you know, she won’t like it.”
“Now?” Fer asked.
“Preferably.” Arascus said. Some, like Anassa or Kassandora, would need direct orders. Fer usually got the hint. “Or Anassa will come back and then she won’t be happy.” He turned to Elassa. “With you most of all.”
“I’ve not told anyone but the Fer and Kassandora. This secret has stayed with me for two entire eras.” She said coldly.
“Then you should be thankful Anassa is not as paranoid as Kassandora then, because you would have never gotten the chance to ever spill it.” Arascus said, it was basic questioning tactics. Kassandora was good to have on his team simply because Kassandora could be ascribed any terrible characteristic useful for the moment, and then she’d be able to discard it the next moment. And considering Elassa had been crying, then Fer and Kassandora did not go easily on her. He scanned her face and hands, her dress was charred and frayed, but not torn. So she probably wasn’t beaten then. He turned to Fer. “You can come back or help Kass, your call. I want a conversation with our mutual friend here.”
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Fer smiled, made an innocent face, but it was somewhat ruined by the fact she had two fangs that would tear flesh. “You’re going on Elassa duty?”
“For an hour.” He said and Fer smiled with glee.
“Wonderful!” She said, clapping her hands and leaving. “I’ll tell Kassie!” Arascus nodded and Fer rushed out the door. It fell shut by itself behind her, and her footsteps beat against the room. Was she tumbling down the stairs? Arascus waited for the sounds to stop as he looked at Elassa. He then waited a moment longer. And a moment longer. A while more. Elassa stared at him and shivered. And stared and averted her eyes and stared at the wall, at him, at the table, at her hands.
Finally, he broke the silence. “Long time no see.” He said coldly. Elassa only nodded and the God on other side leaned back. “We were like this a thousand years ago.” Only back then, the roles were reversed.
“Did you have this chat with Kavaa and them too?” Elassa asked coldly.
“No.” Arascus said. “Kassandora recruited them, not my achievement.”
“Ah.” Elassa said. “So you think the Goddess of Magic is going to be your achievement?” Well, she a tricky one. Although Elassa had never been too sociable. That was simply her demesne, Anassa had the same problem.
“We both know I didn’t mean it like that.” Arascus said with a smile. It wasn’t even a case of recruitment or bringing Elassa into the fold, but if all they needed was a Goddess of Magic, then killing her and waiting a dozen years for a reincarnation would be the way to go. “I don’t want to kill you.” Arascus said. “But before you get ahead of yourself, want and will are two very different things.” It was better to not let her get too comfortable.
“I’m very aware of that.” Elassa said. “I also do a lot of things I don’t want to do.” Those eyes focused on the God and she sighed. “Should you really have sent Fer away? Just from that meeting with Ciria, it was obvious you’ve lost strength.”
Arascus didn’t even move a muscle. A disk appeared by his head, pulsing and swirling with various shades of gold, a blade pointed straight at Elassa slid out of it. He shrugged, the blade retreated, the disk collapsed. Elassa smiled to herself and shook her head. “That was slow.”
“Demonstrations are always slow.” Arascus said. “And without your staff, you’re not going to be too fast yourself.”
“That a challenge?” Elassa asked, her eyes lighting up with some newfound confidence.
“Do you want it to be?” Arascus asked coldly, he had formulated a plan to sway Elassa. It wouldn’t happen today, it was long and arduous, but Elassa had hierarchy ingrained into her, all mages did. You simply could not be respected in that community without talent in the arts. A fight wasn’t optimal, but a fight would be a good way to establish hierarchy immediately. But he couldn’t simply beat her into a pulp for no reason, loyalty didn’t grow like that. It had to be her own mistake, a lesson he would teach, but one she would had to start herself.
Elassa took a deep breath, adopted a fierce posture. And sighed, she leaned back down, arms dropping to her sides and shaking her head. “I will not pretend I can beat even a weakened Arascus. It took forty of us back then.”
“It wasn’t a fight.” Arascus said. “The White Pantheon alone could have done it.”
“Leona predicted losses.” Elassa said dryly. “So we just kept adding until she said she it would end.”
“Mmh.” Arascus said. “She’ll be back.”
“It won’t be Leona.” Elassa said. “She came around when luck was commonplace, now…” Elassa shrugged. “It’ll just be some gambler most likely, or another Ciria.” It was phenomenal that even now, she was disgusted with Ciria. That was something Arascus could use.
“That’s partly why we’re still deciding what to do with you.” Elassa sighed and swung her arms on the chair.
“I’m a dead Goddess already. Where Anassa not there, I would have died already.”
“That’s why I told Kassandora that Anassa would be useful in the battle against you.” Arascus said as the Goddess said at him, terribly unimpressed.
“Am I supposed to thank you for that?” Her eyes met Arascus’ ones of dark gold. “I have no intention of having done to me what was done to Kassandora or Anassa.”
“It’s not for you to decide.” Arascus said. “But you already know we prefer more permanent solutions.” Elassa nodded.
“So? When will I die?” Arascus wondered if the Goddess was actually this good at bargaining for herself, or if she actually had just given up. It was a good tactic, first he would have convince to keep herself alive, then convince her again. Two sets of bargains for the price of one. Smooth.
“Whether you will die is our decision.” Arascus said. He crossed his arms and fixed her with his gaze. “As you know, we run tests and aim for permanent solutions.” Elassa nodded.
“So you do.” She said. “With Kavaa, I assume it won’t be good.”
“Neneria’s theory this, not mine.” Arascus said. “On the permanence of Divinity.” Elassa’s eyes narrowed when she heard the Of Death’s name, then again when she heard the word permanence. “One demesne, one Divine, that, we all know for a definite.” Elassa’s eyes widened and her cheeks went pale, Arascus only continued. “But is it just a physical incarnation? Or the soul itself?” He kept going innocently, simply musing on the thought. “There are some, like Of Light, who we assume will be an eternal problem. Even if we kill Allasaria, another Of Light will be made. Irinika is my daughter, an Of Light will always chase an Of Darkness. But a permanent solution?”
“Dragged into the Legion.” Elassa said quietly and Arascus smiled at her. He knew she would get it eventually.
“The soul would still exist on Arda. Could another incarnation appear then?” Elassa put her hands on her knees to stop them from shaking.
“You wouldn’t.” She said.
“Would I not?” Arascus asked. Was there anything he would not do? “You would be freed eventually of course, when we re-establish magical society around our values, then we’d have another incarnation, but until then? What better method of containment is there?”
“Please don’t.” Elassa said. Her eyes started to tear up. Arascus only looked at her. There we go. Did she think her think her life was truly worth that much? That he would try and buy her will to stay alive? No. Hierarchy did not operate that way.
“Seconds thoughts on death?” Arascus made sure he would hammer the point home. Divines sometimes got over their fear of death. To him, it was an essential tool though. Elassa nodded and mumbled out some wordless word of affirmation. Arascus sighed and pulled out a cloth tissue, a simple thing he kept on him for cleaning his hands and black boots before meetings. He passed it to her. “Don’t cry Elassa, it doesn’t work on me.”
Elassa nodded again and blew her nose into the white tissue. She wiped her cheeks, and she sighed. “But I’m not… I won’t… don’t make me fight magicians.” She practically begged for it. Arascus only shrugged, he wasn’t about to tie himself down with promises to people even he had some sort of respect for.
“I make no promises Elassa.” Arascus. “But it probably won’t happen. We don’t trust you in combat.” The Goddess of Magic nodded with a sad smile. Arascus thought of pushing her further, but decided against it. It was better if she spent some more time with Fer first, got to like one of them. And Anassa. Anassa would be happy that Elassa was being treated right.
“I have one question.” Arascus said. Elassa nodded and let her him ask it without saying a word. This was simply something light, to get her to ease up around him. He knew what Allasaria was like, and Allasaria wasn’t one for small talk. Elassa wasn’t either, but everyone enjoyed small talk and pointless questions that didn’t matter. “Because you two are so similar, and I’ve thought about it before. Did Anassa try to steal your name?”
He didn’t know what he expected, but those blue eyes widened. The Goddess before him got obviously angry, she slammed a fist on the table. Arascus was about to draw upon his blades when he saw mana leak out of eyes in two small flames. Her tone was cold. “Do not even mention this.” She said. “Besting me I can accept, but the absolute gall of the woman. It took two decades for me to beat it out of her. And even then, she claims to that this is some favour that she only changed two letters.”
Arascus leaned back. Honestly, he had always assumed it was freak coincidence but now that he heard it from her. His laughter filled the room as he clapped his hands.
“That’s my Ana!”