Iliyal, Ilwin and Sara sat around for their nightly watch of Arikan news. Kirinyaa had taken centre stage of the world, with KTV broadcasting Kassandora, Kavaa, Helenna, or a discussion panel about them, every night. Now though, it was EIE’s turn.

King Wissel of Doschia sat down to watch EIE. He was on a phone call with King Richard VI, and Aimone of Rilia. Today was apparently the White Pantheon’s counterattack with EIE. Something to discredit Arascus finally.

“I am paying attention.” Fer scrolled to a picture of lion cubs born in Nanbasa’s zoo. Very cute! Their natural habitat had long been taken over by the Jungle and the species was on the verge of extinction. The zoo was throwing a celebration tomorrow. Fer made plans in her head to attend.

“You’re on your phone! I’ve made you a script!” Helenna said again.

“I don’t need a script.” Fer said as she looked at herself in the mirror. EIE had obviously prepared for their interview with her. She had a large room she didn’t even need to kneel in, a mirror, several chairs large enough for Arascus. Fer fiddled with her shirt and undid the top button.

“That’s not a professional look.” Helenna said. She herself had come in the sleek black HAUPT uniform. Fer’s had arrived, but it didn’t fit for what Fer was about to pull off. She something lighter, the HAUPT uniforms were military gear. This white shirt, the shorts, her tail swing behind her back. That was the look she was going for.

“I brought you because you wanted to come.” Fer said. “I don’t need help when I play games.”

“This isn’t a game! And I wanted to help you!” Helenna, her hair going to a light pink. An ugly colour, it was a sign of exasperation from what Fer had worked out. Fer blinked and realised it was actually a brilliant suggestion. She pointed to Helenna’s hair.

“I want this colour as lipstick.”

“Why? It’s terrible.”

“It brings more attention to my eyes.” Less contrast with her skin, and she was far more emotive with her eyes than others. The most she could do with her mouth was smile or snarl. Helenna found it one of the closets and brought it to Fer. It tasted terrible.

“Do you know why they called for me?” Fer asked. She smiled into the mirror, the pale pink was a good touch, her eyes were now the focus. That, and teeth, her fangs revealed themselves. Nice and sharp and spotless white. She got a pair of fake glasses and put them over her eyes, the hosts had been wearing glasses, they were only here as bait. But still, she was cute!

“Because you’re you.” Helenna said. “Because you’re the Goddess of Beasthood.”

“Pack master. The Scourge of the Steppe. Forest Stalker. The reason you don’t let your children play in the forest. Plague upon Civilization. Manhunter. Bloodmother. Queen of Claw and Fang. Beast-Queen. Sovereign of the Wilds.” Fer listed off her titles in a flat tone. “She Who Devours the Tamed.” That one she always liked. “Goddess of Beasthood, a person like that holding a public interview can only be disaster, can’t it?” Helenna shrugged.

“Well… yes.” She said quietly. Fer turned to face Helenna. This little Goddess of Love was very cute too! She grabbed Helenna’s shoulders and lifted her off her feet to be face to face with her.

“Animals were speaking together long before mankind did. I know how to hold a conversation. There is nothing to worry about.”

“I know you do…” Helenna said. “But… I mean…” Fer gently set Helenna down and the Goddess of Love showed her the papers. “I’ve found out what they’ll be asking and…”

“I’m glad you did.” Fer put a hand on her hip and wagged a finger at Helenna. She always liked doing this to people, Big Sister Irinika had done it to her more than once. “But I’m not Kassandora, who needs to know everything in advance. I’m not Nene, who will simply go quiet and kill you. I’m not Olephia, who will show off paintings. I’m Fer. I’m a natural at this.”

“Are you?” Helenna asked, her expression low.

“Did Kassie even try to stop me? What about Dad? Did he give me a lesson on this?” Fer kept wagging her finger. “No. Why? Because this isn’t the White Pantheon Helenna. If Neneria got this interview, we would have denied it immediately. If Kassie, or Me, or Dad, get it, we accept immediately.”

“I…” Helenna sighed. “I mean…” Fer rolled her eyes, people always underestimated her ability at reading people. She didn’t know why, dogs could detect the quality of a person by sixth sense alone. Shouldn’t everyone just be able to put two and two together? If dogs could do it, and she was the Goddess of Beasthood, shouldn’t she be able to?

“You feel like you owe me because I helped rescue Iniri. Now you want to pay this favour back. Helenna, if I ever need assistance, I’ll ask you, but I don’t need assistance for this.” Helenna fell back and shook her head.

“You’re different to Kass.”

“I’m direct, Kassie is roundabout.” Fer said. “Simple as that. I know why you’re here and I’m happy you came.” A green light buzzed above them. That was the signal EIE was ready for their set-up job.

“That’s the signal.”

“That is the signal.” Fer said. “Trust me, I’m a natural at this.”

“I don’t doubt you.” Helenna said. “But…”

“Watch and learn Helenna.” Fer had always wanted to say those words. Her other sisters had said them, even Olephia had written them down before. “Watch and learn.” They did taste good.

“Learn what?” Helenna asked flatly. Fer eyebrows shot up and her ears stood straight. Actually, she didn’t think of an answer to this. She just liked the words. She turned to Helenna and stuck out her tongue.

“Why animals evolved to be cute Helenna. That’s what we’re learning today.” She clapped her hands and set off before Helenna could ask another question. There were assistants about crewmen and so on. Everyone moved out of their way, Fer towered half again over the tallest man’s height. Helenna was at least a full head higher. This, Fer always appreciated her divinity for. She didn’t like to step out of people’s way.

The interview room was already set. Four people, two aged men and two rather grumpy women were already there. They had stacks of papers about them. Cups of water on their desk, that was a large brown thing of Kirinyaan wood. There was a chair ready for Fer, opposite them. Fer’s eyes scanned the room immediately.

The lights were aimed at them, there was a slightly duller for where Fer would sit. Cast her in shadow, very obvious. The cameras would be looking up at her, that was another classic, looking up at someone made them big and imposing and scary. The chair itself was rather dull and flimsy looking. Fer was sure it wouldn’t collapse, but there was no way a person sitting on that would be taken seriously. There was a carpet of crimson red underneath it. No doubt to try and evoke an image of the Goddess of Beasthood sitting in a puddle of blood. A steel beam separated them in the background, that was obvious too, to draw a line between reasonable humanity and unreasonable divinity. Two monitors in the background.

Fer smiled at the cameras. There was full crew of busy young men and women behind them. Working hard no doubt. She wanted to burst out in laughter. Thirty people were managing four cameras. If Kassie was here, she would have cut the number down to five. Maybe six. She waved and stepped into view.

Sara and Ilwin looked at Iliyal grinning from ear to ear. They were sharing a bottle of vodka for this interview, Fer apparently liked vodka and it was a toast to her. “Why are you so happy? This is a set-up job.” Sara asked.

“You don’t know Fer.”

Fer walked to her chair and made a show of inspecting. Hands on hips, back to the cameras. Tail swinging about. She had decided what to do immediately, but there was always a tinge of sadistic pleasure to be had when she didn’t follow others plans. She picked it up, moved it, and sat crossed-legged on the carpet. So much for their flimsy high chair and cameras pointed up at her. One of the interviewers, a balding man in glasses coughed. “We did prepare a chair for you.” He said quietly. Fer ignored him and fiddled with the clip-on microphone.

She knew exactly what she was doing. This procedure had been explained five times to her already. But still, she was the Goddess of Beasthood, is there anyone who expected the Goddess of Beasthood to not be just a little of a klutz? She purposefully flicked it on. “Sitting cross-legged is good for your back.” Fer answered. That, she entirely made up on the spot. She had simply always sat cross legged, it was more comfortable for her. One of the crew members motioned for her to turn the microphone off. Fer ignored him.

The four interviewers gave each other sad looks. This was for show too, and then turned to Fer. “This is the Goddess of Beasthood.” One of the men raised his hand to indicate to Fer. The words sounded weak though, it was hard to use that title when Fer was sat on the floor grinning from ear to ear. “We have an expert set of historians well versed in Divinity today. Introductions please.” Fer was obviously going to be introduced last, then the host would introduce himself. That wasn’t going to be plan, you either introduced yourself first or last, never in the middle. That’s how you made an impression. Kassie had taught her that.

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“I am Fer, Goddess of Beasthood.” Fer said with a grin.

A man behind the cameras threw his arms up in exasperation. The other historians took their turn speaking, obviously trying to hide their annoyance. Fer didn’t even know what they were expecting here. She was a Goddess, who was she to wait for them to finish? “Owyn Jordan.” One of the men said, a young man, early thirties, with a face so soft he probably never spent a day working in his life. “Editor to the Divine Encyclopaedia of Epa.”

Fer looked at the camera and whispered into her microphone. “Not even the writer.” She was sure it would be picked up.

“Ana Kennedy.” The first of the grumpy women introduced themselves. A thin woman, with her hair in a bundle in the back, a pair of ridiculously large glasses on her face. “Professor of Divines studies in the Union.” Fer rolled her eyes.

Fer whispered again, she wasn’t as slow as they thought she was. “No university named, very high-class then.”

“Lain Alkar.” The last woman said. Frankly, Fer did not think highly of her just from sight, she was sixty something dressed in a suit that would have been outdated twenty years ago. “Journalist reporting for EIE on the Reclamation War.” From the tone, it was obvious she did not think highly of it. Fer smiled. An editor, a professor and a journalist. She had expected scholars and philosophers. This would be brutal.

Fer whispered once again, her voice full of sarcasm. “The Arikan Jungle Crisis, brought to you straight from Epa!”

“And I’m your host. Clive Aniker, proud to have the first interview for Epa with Fer.” Fer grinned and waved her hand. All the attention would be on her.

“So…” Fer immediately took charge. “I’m sure you have things to ask me.” Clive blinked and readjusted his glasses.

“Ahh… yes…” The host regained his demeanour and Fer had to contain her laughter. This was a host? She remembered arguing for her herds with Kassandora’s Generals in the past. Those were men that simply dominated rooms. Iliyal was one of them, there was little that could get under his skin back then. “Well first of all, we have some questions from EIE before we get to the debate. What do you make of the Reclamation War?” Fer raised an eyebrow.

This was a question? This was nothing. “I think it’s going well.” The host had his follow up already prepared.

“In regards to the Caretaker issue, do you not think it is dangerous to aggravate the Jungle?” Fer shrugged.

“Is something worth doing if it’s safe? Is it better to let the continent fall to the Jungle?”

“But we’ve taken damage in the latest assault.” Fer’s ears stood up and she angled her eyes. If he was going to take an argumentative tone, she would show him why you didn’t aggravate a wolf.

“There is no we, news-presenter-man.” She explicitly avoided his name. “We, as in the people of Kirinyaa, the Clerics, and us, the Divines, have taken damage, that is true. About fifteen of the Binturongs were damaged. That’s it. No loss of life. So we’ve fended very well for ourselves.”

“And if more Caretakers arise?”

“Let them come.” Fer said. “Are we supposed to beg the Jungle to not swallow Arika instead?” The host fell silent. Fer knew why, he had maybe fifteen questions prepared for what was supposed to be a thirty minute interview. She smiled at him.

“In that case, why does Olephia not-“ Fer cut him off.

“Strategic plans are not relayed to me. You would have to ask Kassandora.” There you go sister. Hopefully they would be stupid enough to get Kassandora on the live stage. Fer, as talented as she was, knew she could only be brutal, her little sister would leave a bloodbath. “I apologize.” People liked it when you were humble. “But I cannot talk of why something is done or something isn’t done. Divines don’t read minds.” The host looked over to one of the women. What was her name again? Ana?

“There are some Divines who do.” The woman said, obviously taken aback she had to come in so early.

“You should ask one of them then.” Fer said. “None I know do and I’m sure I’m on a first-name basis with more of them than you are.”

“I’ve studied with countless Invention Divines.” Fer burst out in laughter and wiped her eyes. It was a natural reaction, but she did play it up.

“I was talking about Of Death and Of War, not Of Windows and Of Wires.” There we go. People liked when you were strong, but likewise humans did not think highly of Divines, and Inventions were the worst of the lot. Twice as grandiose as the highest Abstracts because they had something to prove. At the end of the day though, a God of Forks was nothing but a fucking joke! Fer giggled once again as she thought of a snarky comment that didn’t have swearing, can’t have that on TV! “Gods of Spoons should stick to spoons.”

The host tried to regain control. “In regards to that, do you have any plans to expand the Reclamation War to other Arikan countries?” Fer had a polite answer to this, which was yes, if they were willing, but she simply did not like these people.

“Ask Kassandora, I’m don’t deal with strategy.” Fer smiled at the camera as the host sighed. What did they even expect? For her to get mad? She didn’t get mad or annoyed when ants crawled up her leg, she simply brushed them off.

“And in regards to the damaged Binturongs?” Fer sighed.

“I was told this would be an interview questioning me, not Kassandora. You should have done your research.” That last line was pure bait.

“We did but it’s hard to find any modern sources about you.” The host said. “You’re a rather secretive Goddess, wouldn’t you say?” Fer wanted to burst out in glee. She let the man dig his hole though. Sometimes prey really did wander into the open and go to sleep.

“I’m easy going and open.” Fer said.

“Well I wouldn’t be sure about that.” Clive said. That was the host’s name, right? Clive? Fer didn’t like it.

“I think I am.”

“Helenna for example takes interviews all the time to explain the situation, but this is the first time you’ve agreed to an interview.”

“It’s the first time I’ve got a request, but I even have an account on YapYap.” Fer said. “It’s Very underscore Real underscore Fer.” The four people’s eyes on the stage bulged. One of the women even pulled out her phone. “You can pull it up now, it’s publicly accessible. I don’t private anything.” Fer grinned. She knew exactly what the millions of people would be doing at home right now.

One of the screens turned from black to a feed of Fer’s account. There she was, smiling wide, fangs exposed and eyes closed and making a peace sign. It scrolled down, it was all pictures she had taken of animals with descriptions. The lion cubs that had been born in Nanbasa zoo were the latest picture. Very cute babies! With a cute feline emoticon Fer had found in her phone. Then a picture of a stork in some Kirinyaan lake. Long legs! Then a picture of a lion on the prowl in near bushes. Rawr! A rhinoceros in the wild. I’m in awe at the size of this lad. That was a good one, the likes were coming in now. Since the time she said it, she had gained two-hundred thousand.

Fer looked at the cameras and grinned. “Thank you for liking my photos!” She said to the audience. There it was, check-mate. Now time for the victory lap around these idiots. She could not believe they did not even search her up. Journalists? Excuse me? She laughed again.

“This is your account?” The host asked as he looked at the monitor, his tone pure bafflement.

“It is, you can see the picture is me.” Fer made the same expression to the camera.

“And can you prove it?” Fer was glad she was not Kassie. Kassie would have burst out in laughter at such a stupid question. Fer, unfortunately for them, toyed with her prey.

Fer pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the presenter before he could react. Perfect image, the four of them in stunned shock. She tapped her app and quickly thought of something to say that would get under their skin.

The image popped up on the feed. Four stunned people, in a thoroughly unglamorous angle, with equally unglamorous expressions. Then text below it: Wanted to go to the zoo, ended up in EIE. This one got a hundred thousand likes in a few seconds. The monitor turned off as the four started to blush and Fer grinned.

“So, onto the debate.” The host said. “Is it true that you drink blood?”

“It is.” Fer nodded in the way innocent little puppies did, her golden hair flying out of place. That was on purpose, she liked this look.

“Do you not think it is unethical to drink blood?” The other man said. The soft boy-man. Fer had actually forgotten his name.

“Do you eat meat?” Fer asked.

“I’m vegetarian.” Fer didn’t believe him, but the snark came easily to her even if she did.

“I can see that.” Fer replied and shrugged. “Talk to Iniri then, ask her what the plants feel when you chop them down.” The man swallowed his spit together with his words as one of the women followed up.

“Do you not think it is barbarism to drink blood?”

“Are you vegetarian too?” Fer asked.

“I’m not.”

“Then you eat meat.”

“I do.”

“Then I’m more moral than you.” Fer grinned at her. “Since we both kill animals to eat, but you waste more of it than I do.”

“But I don’t kill them myself and skin them and-“ Fer stopped her. She knew exactly what this tactic was. Arascus had taught her it, it was to conjure an image of horror in the audience’s mind that made their eyes and ears glaze over when any counter-argument was mounted.

“Instead you butcher them by the thousand from some factory-farm. Where they’re force-fed and injected to grow at thrice the speed they grow naturally at. I think the animals I kill, who live pleasant lives in the wild, are much healthier and happier than whatever barbarity it is your civilized world does.” She smiled at them again. Anything else? Come at her. Let them try to match Beasthood in a game of words.

“In the past, in the Great War, is it true that your herds ran rampant over what is Karaina today?”

Fer knew this question was coming. It had to come eventually. Her beastmen were her greatest asset, but admittedly, they were rather hard to defend. You’d need Divine protection to defend them. Fortunately, Fer was a Divine.

“War is war.” Fer said. “Do we decry the Paladin’s inquisition too? The Guardian’s factory cities of the past? Allasaria’s purging? The Tourai massacre?”

“Those are just theories-” One of the women said and Fer interrupted her once again. Her tone cold and sharp.

“Then what better source for it than a Goddess who lived through them. Ask Maisara, she cannot lie. Ask what happened at Tourai. Ask about the Inquisition. Will you do that?”

The four fell silent. Nothing? Are we out? Fer looked around, made her eyes large, her ears jumped up and down, her tail whisked through the air as she tried to make herself look innocent.

“Does Arascus plan to start another Great War?”

“You can interview him, I don’t speak for other people.” Fer said.

And nothing again. From their postures, Fer knew she had crushed them utterly. The host attempted one final question. “Why are you wearing glasses? Don’t Divines have perfect vision?” Fer touched the glasses on her nose and smiled at them. She answered in as sarcastic a tone as she could manage. Kassandora would have smacked her for a tone like that, and rightfully so!

“We all know that glasses are a sign of intelligence. Only smart people wear glasses.” She took them off and threw them off to the side. It was a low blow, since the four hosts were wearing glasses, but it was one they did not recover from.

She sat there and waited until the interview ended.

Iliyal raised his glass. “That’s how you do it!” Ilwin and Sara sat there, their jaws dropped at the massacre they had just seen.

“Wow.” Wissel said flatly over the phone. “That was fucking brutal.” Aimone agreed as Richard looked over to his children, they were scrolling through Fer’s pictures of wild animals on YapYap. ‘Fucking brutal’ was one way to put it.

Elassa leaned back and collapsed onto her bed. She had told EIE to destroy Fer, and Fer had destroyed EIE instead.