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The Greatest Noob
Chapter 9: Welcome

Chapter 9: Welcome

It took Andrew a few seconds to collect his thoughts. He had to remind himself that his conscious was inside of a program because everything around him was unsettlingly real – especially the facial features of the old man speaking to him.

He had gotten close to the old man to see how detailed the model was in front of him, but he grinned at him, catching Andrew completely off guard. Was the grin a response to Andrew getting up close and personal with the character model? If so, did that mean the NPC’s in this game had dynamic responses to occurrences in their environment?

A light green nameplate with ‘Salome’ appeared above the old man as he finished saying his name. Salome ran a hand through his white beard and pursed his lips as he scrutinized Andrew with narrowed eyes.

“Are you able to speak, young man? Are you alright?”

“Y-yes,” Andrew stammered, “my name is Andrew. Andrew Bardon.”

Salome suddenly froze in place, and a nearly translucent red ‘X’ appeared in front of Andrew.

The cool woman’s voice from inside the splicer rang inside his ears. “We ask that you don’t use your full name for security reasons. Please pick a different name.”

Pick a different name? Was he choosing his name right now? Well, if he couldn’t use his full name…

The red ‘X’ disappeared, and Salome, who was mid stroking his beard, finished his pass through and worked his hand back up to the base of his beard.

“My name is Andrew.”

“Hrm…” Salome switched from stroking his beard to tugging at it. “I think I know someone named Andrew, and you aren’t them. The gods would get angry if more than one person had the same name... so please choose another before I let you enter these lands.”

Andrew stared blankly at Salome. So, he couldn’t use his own name because he knows someone else named Andrew? He thought about it some more, and pieces of information started to click.

So, this was Final Conquest’s way of telling him that someone else’s ‘character’ is named Andrew, and there must be unique names. He could understand that, but to have one billion people with unique names… were there even that many different names out there? No, there weren’t. Then how do you…?

His eyes widened as he suddenly remembered Vladimir’s chat username – Vladimous.

“Okay, my name is Vladimous.” Andrew said. He didn’t really want to go by that name because it felt wrong to use his late best friend’s username, but he wanted to test if he could use names like that.

Salome scoffed. “You look nothing like Vladimous! He’s way more handsome and charming than you are. I’m offended that you would try and steal his name.”

Andrew couldn’t help but laugh. Clearly, Vladimir had programmed this response to anyone who would try and use that name, seeing at it was his. But he got the answer he was looking for. So he could use name’s that weren’t your standard name names. But the question still stood – what should he name himself? He wasn’t the most creative person out there, so coming up with a ‘unique’ name would be difficult. What have people called him other than Andrew?

A name popped into his head. He grinned. Would it work?

Salome yawned and leaned on his staff. “Have you found what you wish to be called in these lands?”

“Yes. Noob.”

For some reason, his conversation with Camille had popped into his mind where she had called him a ‘noob.’ This was clearly a term designated to new players, which fit him perfectly.

“…Noob?” Salome pondered the name as he started stroking his beard again. “I think I remember someone with the name Noob, but I haven’t seen them in a few years… Bah! This is giving me a headache. Alright, you can have the name Noob. When the previous owner of that name shows themselves, I’ll have them choose a new name.”

Andrew couldn’t help but feel sorry for whoever he stole the name from, but he couldn’t waste too much time coming up with a name.

A soft ping rang out above Andrew, causing him to look up. Floating above his head was his name ‘Noob’ in light blue.

“Alright, Noob. Now that I know your name, can you tell me what you want to do in these lands?”

This question caught Andrew completely off guard. He didn’t understand the question, so he just asked him what it meant.

“Well, some come for adventure, some for glory, and others for wealth. There are many reasons to come to these lands, but I want to hear yours.”

Andrew didn’t know how to answer the question. He just wanted to come to the lands to find the answer to Vlad’s riddle, but he was sure that if he told that to Salome, he wouldn’t really quite understand that. So, he decided to simplify his answer to something that the old man might understand.

“I came here… to find answers.”

Salome smiled and nodded his head appreciatively. “I see you’re a man of curiosity. Not many people come to these lands wanting to learn. That makes me happy. Knowledge is such a valuable tool…”

He turned towards the mountain range behind him and gazed out over the scene. A strong wind picked up, causing the grass at their feet and the treetops to bend with the breeze. “Most people I meet for the first time act as if they know everything already and can’t wait to get rid of me. They only see me as a toppled tree blocking their path into these lands…”

The amount of emotion coming through Salome’s words was fascinating to Andrew. Even if he was a program, it didn’t deserve to feel as if it were a nuisance because it was doing its job. How could people treat him like that?

“Salome… I’m sorry to hear that. I know I just met you, but you seem like a nice enough guy. You’re very patient with me, which I really appreciate.”

“You would be surprised… some have even gone so far as to push me aside. Can you believe that? Putting their hands on someone they just met… It’s disrespectful. They deserve to be bent over and spanked like a child!” He swung his staff as if he were spanking someone with it.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Indeed, they do.” Andrew said while holding back laughter.

Salome spun around and beckoned for Andrew to come closer. “Come, let me determine the class the god’s have bestowed upon you.”

Approaching him slowly, Andrew’s mind flooded with the information Camille had told him about classes and abilities. All of them sounded interesting, though he didn’t know which one he would like to be. He had spent a good amount of time thinking about it when he was showering prior to entering the Splicer.

The idea of using a sword and shield appealed to him, reminding him of the old days where he and Vladimir would battle to the death with foam swords and shields. Aside from the nostalgic feeling of it, a sword and shield seemed like a great way to be offensive and defensive at the same time, which seemed valuable for someone new like him.

On the other hand, using magic also seemed like it would be a lot of fun. Growing up and reading a lot of fantasy novels, he often dreamt of a scenario like this, where he could use magic one day and cast powerful spells to destroy the enemies in front of him. Aside from the mystical factor to it, it also seemed valuable to be at a distance from enemies rather than up close and personal.

Sighing as he stepped up to Salome, he decided not to get his hopes up and let this man decide what he would be. Or, rather, the 'gods.' Having a preference for a class wasn’t really important because all he had to do was complete the tutorial. After that, he more than likely wouldn’t play anymore.

Salome produced a grey stone the size of his hand from his robes and held it before Andrew. “Place your hand on the Fate Stone.”

When Andrew realized the man wasn’t going to say anything else, he hesitantly placed his hand on the stone. After noting how cool the stone felt, Andrew started to feel a tingle near his stomach. The tingle then flowed from his stomach, up to his chest, through his arm, and eventually, through the hand he had placed on the stone.

The grey rock began to pulse softly with white light as Andrew felt more of the energy inside of his body being poured into it. The grey on the Fate Stone slowly changed until it was a solid Red.

A grin spread across Salome’s lips. “Ah, a warrior – I knew you were –“ His eyes widened as the red stone began changing colors again, this time becoming a solid blue.

Stammering, Salome looked from the rock and up at Andrew repeatedly. “This… This is rare! You seem to not only have the choice of becoming a mighty warrior… but a powerful mage as well! This is fascina-“

Salome’s words were cut off as his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. The stone was changing again. This time, an orange light began radiating around it as it changed from blue to a deep purple. The orange light continued to radiate around the now purple stone.

Having no idea what was happening, Andrew continued letting the energy from within him pour into the stone. Judging by Salome’s reactions, this wasn’t normal. First, Salome said he was a warrior, which is what he thought he would be based upon what Camille had told him. Then, he said that he could also be a mage, which he wasn’t expecting.

Camille had said mages were selected based upon their IQ, critical thinking skill, and intelligence scores. Did that mean he was smart enough to be a mage? He never considered himself ‘smart,’ seeing as his best friend was one of the smartest people he ever knew. Compared to Vladimir, he was as average as he could be… or so he told himself. Still, it was nice to have the option to choose from the two classes he was interested in playing... but now he had to choose, which threw a wrench in his plan of not having to choose. Yay.

But this purple color suddenly appeared. And not only that, the aura around the stone was bright orange. What was happening?

Another moment passed, and Andrew felt the energy coursing through him fade away, and soon the stone he was touching slowly reverted back to its normal grey tone. He removed his hand from the stone, which toppled out of the man’s shaking hand and onto the grass.

Salome’s entire body was quivering. He took a step back and looked over Andrew again as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Raising a shaking finger, he pointed at Andrew. “You… do you know what you are?”

Confused, Andrew shook his head. There was no way for him to know what he was.

“No, I don’t… Is there something wrong with me?”

Salome let out a quick, high-pitched laugh before licking his lips nervously. “Wrong with you? Boy, you are something these lands haven’t seen in thousands of years. You are… a Battlemage! By the gods, a battlemage has finally arrived!”

A… battlemage? This was the first time hearing of this class. Camille never mentioned it, though she said that there were some unique classes out there that only a handful of players had access to out of a billion players. Maybe this was one of them?

“Is that… good?” Andrew asked.

The old man nearly collapsed to the ground but was able to hold onto his staff. “Good… is that good he asks? How does one who possesses such power not know what he is?!”

All Andrew could do was shrug. He literally had no idea. “I’m sorry, I really don’t know.”

Salome pinched the bridge of his nose tightly and closed his eyes, all the while mumbling incoherently to himself. He finally let go of his nose, picked up the Fate Stone from the ground, pocketed it, and stared narrowly at Andrew.

“A battlemage is exactly what it sounds like it is. A mage that battles. They have the strength to dawn heavy armor, wield weapons and shields of all types, as well as cast powerful magic with whatever elemental affinity the gods bestow upon you when they see fit. Though, you must be wary. You won’t have as much stamina as a full-fledged warrior or as large of a mana pool as an expert mage.”

Mana is what fuels magic in Final Conquest; this he also learned from his conversation with Camille. The more mana you had, the more powerful spells you could cast. Though, if you run out of mana, you would be completely useless. Expert spell casters knew how to conserve their mana in order to deliver the most damage they could without burning themselves out.

A huge wave of relief washed over Andrew. It was great knowing that he didn’t have to choose between the two classes he wanted – and that somehow, he was able to obtain a class that was essentially both a warrior and a mage.

A nearly translucent blue screen winked on in front of Andrew with a message.

You have obtained a unique class. Upon accepting this class, you will not be able to change your class until your next recalibration, which is in six months. You may choose to select a different class, but you will take a penalty to all stats, and there will be no way to re-obtain this unique class. Note: If you recalibrate and no longer meet the requirements for ‘battlemage’, you will be stripped of the class and must select another with no chance of re-obtaining ‘battlemage.’ With this information, do you wish to select ‘battlemage’ as your class?

After reading the message, it morphed into two buttons. ‘Yes’ and ‘No.’

Obviously, it would be wise to select the class that was recommended to him. Not only was it a recommended class, but it was also a unique class which meant not a lot of people had it. It also solved the problem of choosing between warrior and mage, which saved a lot of time debating which one would be best to carry on to complete the tutorial.

Even though he didn’t plan on playing this game long-term, Andrew appreciated how diligent one had to be to continue using the unique class. It was almost like if the owner of the class didn’t value it; they didn’t deserve to have it.

There really wasn’t a debate to be had; becoming a battlemage was clearly the correct choice here.

Andrew reached out and pressed ‘Yes.’ A blinding orange light that only lasted for a second surrounded him, then he was able to see perfectly fine again. He frowned as his body suddenly felt a little heavier. He looked down and his eyes widened as he saw that he was now adorned with what looked to be a full set of polished steel plate mail armor and a sword sheathed at his left hip.

Instinctively, he reached towards the hilt of the sword and pulled out the long blade from its sheath. The sunlight danced off the blade as he rotated it in front of him. He didn’t understand why, but being in this armor and looking at the sword he was holding just felt… right. As if this was all made for him.

Salome walked over and placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “Would you be interested in visiting some friends of mine who can teach you more about these lands?”

The same translucent blue screen winked on in front of Andrew.

Would you like to begin the tutorial? Yes/No